Mitchiru

Sakumo scratched his head sheepishly 'Thanks Nee-chan, you're saving my life.'

A woman in her mid-thirties just laughed. 'You're exaggerating as always. Babysitting Kakashi-kun is actually a nice break from what I've been doing recently'.

The man looked at his four years old son cheerfully rolling on the grass with wolfs. 'Ah, I love him but he's quite handful, isn't he? And I promised him that we would spend this day together and learn some kata.'

'He was really miserable this morning when I had told him that I had to go on mission. Well, at least until he found out that he's gonna spend this day with you. He really admires you, Mitchiru.'

'Ha ha, and who doesn't?' the women waved her long white-golden hair.

'No, don't tell me … you're rejected another proposal?'

Mitchiru just pouted 'I had no choice … he was sooo boring'.

Sakumo sighed 'Well, some people would think that a 37-year-old woman should settle down, you know?'

She grinned wildly 'Oh really? I don't remember anyone saying something like this to me'.

'Sure, it's because you scare people to death' he mumbled.

'Beside' she completely ignored him 'why should I looking for somebody when I've got such wonderful guys right with me?'

'Ah, I'm flattered Nee-chan.'

'And who said I was talking about you? Anyway, you can go on your mission. I'll take care of Kashi-kun.'

'Mitchiru, you're the most beautiful, intelligent and gorgeous sister I've ever had. What will you do?'

'Rrright, I'm your sister, baka. Hmm, I think I'll show him whole farm. Father's gone to the village so we wouldn't disturb him. And then, because a promise is a promise, we'll practice kata'.

The second after she spoke those words, she was hit by small ball of sliver hair. 'Really?' the child exclaimed in her arms 'Auntie Mitchiru, you're the best!'

'But thank you Kakashi-kun' she chuckled. 'You've been eavesdropping from the beginning, haven't you?'

'Oh, I wasn't. I was just sensitli… I mean, sensitizing my hearing!' Both adults burst into laugh. Kakashi looked at them rather puzzled 'Did I do something wrong?'

Sakumo smiled and ruffled boy's messy hair. 'I think we're gonna have a serious talk when I come back, Kakashi. Remember to behave well, okay?' The boy nodded with seriousness of experienced old man. Mitchiru tried not to laugh again.

'I will do my best Dad … come back soon, will you?'

Sakumo smiled gently 'I will do my best, too. See you, Kakashi, Mitchiru' he waved them and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

'So Kakashi-kun, are ready for sightseeing?'

'Yes, yes!' The boy was jumping with enthusiasm. 'What are we going to see first?'

'Ok, come with me'. After two minutes of walking ( Mitchiru was walking; Kakashi did it in more hopping way ) they approached a corral.

'Ok, look. These are hens with chicks'.

'You mean they have babies? Wow, they are so yellow and fluffy, can I hold them?'

'Sure, but be very gentle, they were born just a few days ago.'

Kakashi reached through the net and a stroked the nearest chick. 'It's so soft Auntie! Is it boy or girl?'

'I have no idea; you have to wait to see. Female chickens are called hens and look that' she waved at group of hens in the corner 'and a male chicken is called cock and looks a bit different. Ah, there he is'.

'He's so funny with that red something in his head',

'We call it cockscomb. And look there are turkeys, gooses and there in the pond are some ducks…'

'Sugoi! They are great and so funny; is it why grandpa keeps them? To play with them?'

'Oh crap' she mumbled 'Well not exactly. You see, Kashi, we keep them because they're useful'

'Useful?'

'Um, yeah, sheep gives us wool and milk which we use to making cheese. And goats also give us milk; look there is one, but watch out he's quite moody. Anyway, hens give us eggs and gooses – feathers for pillows. And cows give us milk, too. And horses help in the field and…'

'Oh I understand how. And what with turkeys?'

'Oh crap, it's not my day … well the truth is that … we eat them'

'What?' the boy was paler than normally. 'You mean we… we will eat those turkeys and… and chickens … and … oh no, yesterday I ate a rabbit pie' he was green. 'I'm gonna be sick, Auntie'

'Hush, hush, Kakashi, it's not that bad. You have to think about it as a … uhm' Mitchiru scratched her hair 'Like … ah I know. It's like a bargain'

'Bargain?'

'Yeah. We give them food and shelter, take care of them when they're ill etc. And the animals work for us, give us food and when they're really, really old, very tired and want to rest- we eat them'

'Very, very old?' he made sure.

'Yup'

'And it doesn't hurt them?

'No, we're trying to be very gently'

The boy was still unsure. 'But they like being here?'

'I'm sure they do. Your grandfather truly loves animals and provides them the best care'

'Hmm … then, I guess, it's all right' he instantly cheered up. 'What are we gonna to see now?!'

'Uuf' she wiped her forehead 'Let's go and see cows'

'Yuppie! Real cows'.

They entered a barn where Kakashi's images about cows faced reality. He took a few steps back 'Um, Auntie? Why are they so big?'

'Maa, little Kakashi-kun is scared of some cows?'

'I'm not scared! But they're giant,' a few more steps to exit 'and seem to be angry, too!'

'Angry? Nah, they're just a bit nervous. I think it's their milk time'

'???'

'Come closer, I'll show you. You know we have to milk them regularly because it would hurt them if there were too much milk inside udders. Hey, wanna give a try?

'Um… I dunno.'

'Come on Kashi! It's not that difficult. Take another stool and sit next to me. Try to imitate me movements'

'Muuuu!!!'

'Not so hard boy'

'Sorry.' He trapped carefully the cow's back 'Sorry Mrs. Cow'.

A few minutes passed away.

'Ok, now drink it while it's still warm.'

The boy twitched. 'But it's smelly!'

Mitchiru laughed. 'It does not. You're just not used to fresh milk. Be a good boy and drink. It has lots of vitamins and protein.'

'And what are vitamins and that pro-something?'

'Oh shit. You're not doing it on purpose, do you?'

'Hm?'

She sighed 'Ok, speaking shortly, you're growing now, right?'

'Yes! I've recently grew up almost three centimeters!'

'Hey, that's quite impressive. And you see, protein is a substance that your body needs to grow up, to build your bones and muscles.'

'I didn't know! And what do vitamins?'

'Ah they are little tricky things which go around your body and make sure that everything works smoothly; you are healthier and grow up thanks to them'

'Sooo… if I drink milk, I'll be taller?'

'Sure. But… w-wait Kakashi! – not whole bucket at once!'

'Uh'

'Here, wipe your mouth and come with me'

'Where are we going? Are there more animals to see?'

'… I think we'll train now, okay? Your grandpa is coming back this evening so you have to learn some new moves to show him, right?'

'Yosh, let's go!'

Later at night.

'Uff, it has been a really long day. Now I know what he meant by saying handful' Mitchiru mumbled during preparing for sleep.

'I'm totally exhausted!' Suddenly her stomach growled 'Hmpf, it seems that hungry, too,' she grinned. 'Well, one little night smack is nothing bad, is it?' she chuckled and went downstairs to the kitchen.

But there …

'My god, Kakashi s-stop, what are you doing?!'

She watched with horror as her beloved nephew sat behind the table, his little hand full of blood. In front of the boy laid a small knife with blooded blade. She tried to calm down.

'Kashi, you've cut yourself? But why?'

'Ah don't worry, Auntie, it's a really shallow cut it doesn't hurt at all!'

'But why, what did you want to do?!'

'Uhm, you said before that vitamins would make me taller. But I measured myself and I'm still the same! So I came here and tried to find some vitamins, you know in my blood 'cause you said that they move around my body, so I wanted to find them and ask if they could work quicker.' He looked at her with sadness. 'But I can't find any. Do they hide from me?'

Mitchiu's laugh was so laud that woke up half of mansion.

Tetsurou

Next tree was large branchy oak. 'Ah, Granpa, I miss our lessons. But don't worry … I remember most from what you told me.'

Kakashi waited patiently as his grandfather was making a tea. But the patience of 4-almost-5 years old boy was very limited, especially when he had to watch somebody contemplating a cup of tea. A cup of tea.

They were sitting on the patio and watching Sakumo's training through the widely open doors of dojo.

'So…Grandpa… you said that you have something for me?' he tried to sound nonchalantly but failed completely.

'Ah, curious, aren't we?' Tetsurou smiled under his beard. 'And you surely know that a good shinobi is very patient, right, Kakashi-kun?'

'But Grandpa I am patient! And I would be even more patient if you gave that thing already!'

The old man raised an eyebrow. Kakashi saw it and pouted.

'Besides, you told me once that curiosity is a good thing, because it leads to new inventions!'

'Using my own words against me? You're a truly smart young man' he ruffled boy's silvery hair. 'Wait here for me okay?'

'Yosh!' Kakashi grinned and watched as his grandfather walked to a large wooden closet, his prothesis tapping quietly.

At the beginning the artificial leg used to scare him a little; but grandpa was so smart and knew so interesting things so who cares if he had his left leg or not?

'Ah here you go Kakashi' the man gave him a long package wrapped up with blue and white silk.

'Can I really look what it is?'

'Ha ha, of course you can, it's the reason I gave it to you.'

The boy carefully unwrapped the package

'Wow Grandpa… it's so beautiful!' Kakashi's eyes were sparkling. He moved his hands over the katana's blade. 'So shiny…' he added dreamingly.

Tetsurou laughed- it seemed that Kakashi fund his first love.

'Well can I assume that you like it?'

'You're kidding me Grandpa? It's the best katana I've ever seen! Did you make it?'

'Yes, I made it almost six years ago, when I heard that I was going to have a grandchild.'

'Six years ago? ... W-wait, you mean you've done it for me?!' Kakashi exclaimed with hope.

'Yes, it belongs to you…I see that you like the present' he said as the boy was shinning like a mini-lantern.

'Of course I do! But why…?'

'Sit beside me Kakashi' he paused for a while. 'You see, a sword is heart of each Hatake. All members of our clan are unique and have different abilities…but they're still warriors of swords.'

'The blade embodies your will to serve our village… You put your heart in the sword…all your doubts, your fears and dreams… your love…and it becomes part of you, becomes alive, which is symbolised by white chakra' he looked seriously at his young grandson.

'And than, with pure mind and pure soul, you can fight for the glory of Konoha…'

'It's very important for you to understand, Kakashi. Shinobi rules say that you can't show any emotions, that you're just a tool. However, it's impossible to erase all feelings- they're your integral part and the thing that makes you a human.'

'Therefore, instead of removing emotions- we turn them into our advantage. Hatake's blades are so powerful because they hold our hearts; do you understand now, Kakashi?'

The boy remained silent for a few minutes and than nodded seriously 'Um, yeah, I think so'

Then he smiled 'Grandpa is it why you've become an armourer when you retired? Because swords are so important for our family?'.

'Yes, indeed. Now I can be sure that the swords we use are the best. Besides, it's a good hobby for an old man.'

'Oh Grandpa, you're not that old!'

Tetsurou laughed and tapped his head 'So young and already good at flattering.'

'I'm doing my best!' the boy grinned. 'But Grandpa… why did you do a katana for me? I mean, father uses tantõ and auntie Mitchiru has her wakizashi… So why was I given a katana?'

'You'd better had a tantõ?'

'Oh no, never! Uhm, I mean father's tantõ is all cool but…' he paused confused.

The old man smiled 'Well, let's just say that I had a good premonition, right?'

'Yup! Will you teach me how to use it? Please? Please?' he whined.

'Well, you're almost five so yes, we should start teaching you family movements and katas.'

'Yatta! I love you grandpa!' he hugged him with all strength.

'Yosh, yosh, Kashi-kun, you'll break my ribs! Besides, don't be so hasty. It's gonna be a really tough time for you…'

'I'll do my best!'

'…and lot of time will go by until you could use your katana'

'I will be patie… no, wait, you mean I can't train with my shiny, brand new katana?!!'

The old man laughed loudly. 'Kakashi look at yourself first. The sword is too big for you now!'

'It is?' he compared katana to his high (it was just a minimum difference) and sighed with disappointment.

'I guess you're right' than he grinned. 'But I'm gonna drink lot of milk and it will make me as tall as father!'

'Ha, that's the spirit!'

In the evening… 'Don't worry…'Kakashi put his katana carefully on the pillow. 'One day we will fight together… my preciousss...'

'You taught me so much…even though we spent so little time together,' he looked at the oak 'I wish could be as smart as you. If only I had listened to you back then…'
Minako

It was a cloudy day- almost as the weather decided to mourn with them. Tetsurou found his grandson sitting under a wild orange tree.

'Kakashi you shouldn't be sitting here. It's getting cold.'

The boy stared blankly at the sky. 'Father once told me that it was mother's favourite tree… But I don't remember it. I don't remember anything except her voice…she used to sing for me, you know?'

'Yes' he smiled. 'Minako was singing all the time. It's probably the reason why your first words were a fragment from some lullaby' he looked at the boy but his face remained still.

'It's just … I wish I had more memories of her. I really miss mother but… I've never truly known her so I don't know what I should feel and…' he paused.

'Kakashi, I know how difficult this anniversary is for you' he thought for a while. 'Bring your katana here, ok?'

The boy looked at him with surprise 'Um, sure, if you insist Grandpa.'

He went home and was back in just few seconds.

'Sit and take out the sword. You have practised as I told you, haven't you?'

'You mean with erasing fear? Yeah, I have.'

'And how it goes?'

Kakashi scratched his head 'Well, it's really complicated but I think I'm catching now.'

'I'm glad because we will practise something much more difficult now. Close your eyes try to think about your mother'

'M-mother? But…'

'I know it's hard, but concentrate. Try to remember everything you can…her voice, her songs, what you felt when you were together. You have it?'

'Yes… I think so'

'Ok, so now focus on more painful feelings- sorrow and sadness, the way you miss Minako… fear when you can't remember her face, anger that she's not with you… and envy, when you see other children witch their mothers.'

'Grandpa, s-stop it please. I can't… I can't hold it any more' the boy was trembling and tears were falling down his cheeks.

'I know, Kakashi. I know. Calm down. And now imagine that those feelings are moving from your head' he fondled boy's hair 'and heart' he gently touched boy's chest 'down to your hands and to the katana'

He observed Kakashi 'Can you feel it?'

'I'm sorry Grandpa…I just can't do this' he sobbed and tried to wipe off the tears.

'I thought so. But please calm down.' He hugged him tightly. 'Probably, you can't do this because subconsciously, you don't want to let those feelings go.'

'Eh? But Grandpa, I did try!'

The old man smiled 'Your mind may understand that, but your heart doesn't. You see, it's hard to get rid of such emotions because to some extend, they link you with the person you lost.

'Letting them go is the same as accepting the fact that you will never be together again.

Loneliness is the worst, the most rendering feeling of all; no wonder that it terrifies you.'

The boy sniffed.

'But I'll tell you a secret, you know?'

'Hmm, what secret?' he asked with a slight interest.

'You see, when you push your fear and sadness into katana, it vanishes from you. However, if you do the same with love or friendship, it helps you to fight but still remains within your heart.'

'They say that if you truly love somebody and he or she requites it, a strong bond is created. And that bond cannot be broken or lost. So you don't have to be afraid, because your mother's love will never deteriorate.'

'You promise?'

'Yes, I do' he said solemnly. 'Nevertheless, the reality is that you can't bring Minako back… so you have to be strong and move forward' he looked at Kakashi. 'I know how hard it is… all shinobi have to bear with the pain of loss someday… but this is why you should learn how to face it.'

He paused 'Are you ready to try again?'

The boy still seemed uncertain but nodded.

'Ok, so close your eyes and concentrate on your mother. Let those feelings fill you. I know it hurts…but remember that Minako loved you and wherever she is now, she still loves you and wants you to be happy. And now hold your katana…ready? Put all feelings into blade…let your mind become peaceful.'

Kakashi bitted his lip in concentration.

'Try to feel how they're leaving your hands and go to katana…and all the time remember about your mother's love.'

As grandfather had taught him before, Kakashi imagined a colourful tide moving around his body; black for fear, grey for sorrow and blue for grief.

He focused and slowly moved it to arms and hands. The cold touch of metal gave him more courage.

Your mother loves you

'I love you too, Mum' a single tear fell on his cheek when he took a deep breath and pushed that tide down to katana. 'No more mourning… I've gotta be strong.'

The tide was flowing through his fingers until its colour changed into bright brown 'Just like mum's eyes in that picture on father's desk.' For a while he let himself enjoy the feeling of warmth and safety.

There's no need to be afraid… that bond will never be broken.

'I won't be afraid' he promised mentally and pushed sown the brown tide as well.

'Grandpa, I think I understand now! And look… it's really working!' Kakashi exclaimed with joy and surprise.

They were very small but clearly visible- little flashes of white chakra swirling around the blade.

'Kakashi, it's amazing… I've never thought you would be able to awake our chakra so early' the old man tousled his hair. 'You're a true Hatake, my grandson, a pride of our family.'

'Hatake's pride, eh? Are you still so sure, Grandpa?'

Kakashi was now almost in the centre of the grove.

'You taught me our family techniques, you gave me katana and told how to deal with loss… almost as you knew what would happen' he sighed.

'But I rejected it, didn't I? After father's death I dissociated myself from everything connected with our family. I thought it proved that your rules were all wrong… even more- I thought they were stupid and naive. How foolish… just when I should have stuck to them like never before.'

He looked at the sky. 'But I just couldn't let go, you know? The hatred I felt was all that kept me composed.'

'After Obito's death I tried once again…there was somebody important I had to protect…But I failed miserably… and just gave up again. I wish I had been smarter… but maybe this is the right time to correct old mistakes?'

There were only three trees left. He lighted remaining candles.

"Hatake Sakumo"

"Hatake Minako"

'Mother, from what I've heard you must have been a wonderful woman, so cheerful and full of love for everyone… Your voice was always so warm… I want to thank you for this memory. You made me love music' he paused.

'You passed away before we truly could know each other… and it was one of those few cases when there is nothing I could blame myself for' he sighed.

'So the only thing I can feel is a pure longing… and a primal child's love' Kakashi smiled. 'I guess my feelings for you are still those of three-year-old.'

The man kneeled and put one flower under the tree 'I hope you're happy… and that you haven't stop singing. After all, you have the greatest audience ever.'

The last tree had no candle.

"Hatake Kakashi"

It was eerie, he knew it- almost as he had carved a tombstone for himself. However, in the same time it somehow comforted him. His tree would produce oxygen, give a shelter for animals and a shadow for people even many years after his death- and it meant that even with that blooded hands he still could do something useful.

It was a warming thought.

Kakashi climbed up the tree and sat on a branch. From that place he could hear muffed noises from the street. Those sounds combined with cold moonlight gave a truly spooky impression

He watched the clouds

Your mother loves you

Your family watches you from the underworld.

'Childish words to erase childish fears. Said to small kids who cannot bear with loss and loneliness.' he sight.

'Kakashi, I'm afraid I've got bad news' Sakumo's eyes were full of pain.

'D-dad, what happened, why are you home so early?' Something was wrong, utterly wrong.

Kakashi, Mitchiru was ambushed during her mission. She died during the fight.'

The boy gave him a blank look 'But Dad, auntie is so strong…she can't…she couldn't…'

'I'm afraid it's not all. Your grandfather…' Sakumo made a deep breath '... when he heard about it, his heart didn't bear. He had a heart attack. I'm sorry son' he hugged the boy.

'It seems that we're alone now.'

'Dad, where do dead people go? They don't stay in grave, right?' That thought scared him and Kakashi couldn't hold his tears. Sakumo fondled boy's cheek.

'No, I believe not. Humans posses body and immortal soul; so when their body dies, the soul goes to underworld. They can watch you from that place and it's why we pray for them.'

'Is it a nice place?'

'Yes, it is a great place. I'm sure they are happy there so you don't have to worry'

'How do you know?'

'I can feel it' he gently hugged Kakashi. 'We must be strong, son. And because they're surely observing you, there's no holding back with training, right?'

'All these years I've been constantly telling myself that death it's not the end… there is something that still exists…that I've finally believed in it. I so desperately wanted to believe. The hope that we'll meet someday kept me in one piece… after all, you were watching if I'm keeping my promises…'

Kakashi looked at the moon

'Although my faith is as strong as naive, I still don't have any proves to exemplify it…But if it's true, if you, my ancestors, are really watching… please lend me your wisdom and strength… so that I could become your pride and the name of Hatake would be never forgotten.'