A/N: QUICK! BEFORE I FORGET MY AWESOME NEW IDEA (and some others, hehe)! *runs off to write* *begs for reviews in hindsight*
…
Drabble 1—
"What are you talking about?" She couldn't get her hands out of his grasp. She wasn't even trying. She was confused. She hated being confused, especially in regards to Chuck.
"I broke up with Eva," he said, his eyes searching hers. He wasn't mocking or teasing, nothing the old Chuck would have done, but she could see him seeping back into her vision. If the circumstances had been different, she would be smirking.
"Why?" she asked, sounding a defensive she did not feel.
"Because," He cleared his throat, preparing himself. He looked nervous. It'd been a long time since she'd seen him nervous, with her at least. It'd been months. "She refused to be with me."
Her brows furrowed. Still confused. "But you said you broke up with her."
"I did." He nodded assuringly. "A long time ago."
She shook her head, looking down at their interlacing fingers, unable to stop the intimate motion. She felt as if she had no control over anything in her body, her head seeming to be the exception. The ability to speak was very reassuring. Though, she was a little irritate that he did not bother to explain himself. She could see the old Chuck coming back, and that Chuck knew her inside and out. It didn't look like he was goading her on. She could feel her patience wearing thin.
"Chuck, you're not making any sense." Her eyes pleaded for a straight answer from him as they bored into his own. He sighed, mentally reminding himself that he'd known from the start this moment would come. Perhaps he'd been afraid to say it out straight. She'd never know. A shiver ran up her spine at the feel of his thumbs swirling tiny circles on her hands. She still could not understand her sudden paralyzed state from the moment he'd taken her hands after two long strides into the room. All she could do was listen to him and try and speak her own thoughts as her body reacted to his sweet caresses.
"When I first started dating Eva," he began, "I believed it was because I sincerely liked her…and I did." She tensed in his grip, but once again made no move to retreat. "She was everything you weren't, and I thought that was the best way to start over. What I didn't realize was, that though I really did like Eva, subconsciously I had chosen to date her not just for who she was but because there was a possibility being with someone like her would make me worthy of someone like you."
Her paralysis disintegrated into ash. She pulled her hands away from his and took a step back. His eyes pleaded for her not to leave. It was her own house, so he didn't think it was likely. But she had walked out on him more than once, even just as friends, and now was not one of her cold moments where she'd force him to leave. Then again, he hadn't been closely acquainted with her for some time, even in their attempts to be civil and maybe even friends.
"So, you used her." Her eyes narrowed. His lips parted at her accusation.
"I didn't mean to," he said breathlessly. "I only realized my underlying intentions after it was all over." Blair scoffed, not believing him.
"Same old Chuck." She shook her head. She was angry, and she knew why. The old Chuck had been there all along, just deceiving himself. She wanted to convince herself it had been on purpose. "I knew you couldn't change."
"Blair—"
She held up a hand, instantly halting his attempt to close the distance between them. When she was convinced he would not try to take her hands again, or God forbid, kiss her, she lowered her hand and crossed her arms across her chest, analyzing him.
"So, who broke up with whom?" she asked finally. Chuck blinked, as if he had not expected her to return to the original subject of conversation.
"She broke up with me," he said bluntly. There was a little hurt in his voice, but she could not detect much of it.
"Why?" she asked warily.
"Because I'm still in love with you." He sighed. "She asked me if I was a couple of months ago, and I said yes. She refused to let that be a just cause for us breaking up…then. I wanted to want only her, and she knew I was trying to, but this morning she came to me and told me she couldn't handle it. She wanted me all to herself, and she's convinced that'll never happen." He sounded weary, but Blair couldn't help but be a little excited. Not because she wanted him to hurt, she'd gotten over that quickly after she learned he'd been shot, and she had not been there. Not even to taunt him once he'd come out of his unconsciousness. The reason for her excitement was because she knew what was coming next.
"Won't it?" she asked, her eyebrows raised in amusement.
"No," he said. His eyes were dead set on her, and she felt another shiver zip up her spine.
"I'm sure after a lot of time—"
"No," he said, leaving no room for questions. He closed the distance between them.
"Chuck," she said, sounding exasperated, "everyone can move on from their past loves…" Her breath got caught in her throat when she felt his hands close around her upper arms. For a few too long moments, she could not speak. "…if given the proper treatment," she finally said.
He smirked, and she knew her face had exploded into a pinkish – if not deep red – blush. Now, she knew her Chuck was back. He had never really been gone. He'd just been hidden because she hadn't been with him. The knowledge of that made her heart flutter.
"I'm not Chuck Bass…without you."
She'd forgiven him a long time ago, she realized. She just hadn't let herself voice it to anyone, especially herself. Then she would have gotten swamped up into unbearable hurt at the sight of him prancing around with a girl she imagined he'd said 'I love you' to with no problem.
"Really?" he asked, cocky as ever. She wanted to smirk back at him but she felt like she was going to explode. His hands on her arms warmed her to her core. She wanted him. That was not helping anything. In her mind, she couldn't even tell herself taking him back was a bad idea. He had suffered enough, had tried to play the good guy, be someone he wouldn't. In the end, he had realized he couldn't change who he was, just how he dealt with his ever broken heart. His heart was back on his sleeve again. She couldn't bear the thought of not taking it.
"Chuck," she breathed. His expression changed from cocky to heated in an instant. She saw the desire and love in his eyes. It was almost painful to look at. She collapsed against his chest, and his arms wrapped around her back.
"Take me back, Blair," he begged, holding her tightly to him. "I'm not Chuck Bass without you."
She laughed lightly through her breathlessness. "You've already used that line, Bass."
He released her and tipped her chin up so that she was looking directly at him. "And I've always meant it." She sighed in the knowledge of inevitable contentedness and relief. She could tell that he wanted to kiss her, probably had since the moment he walked in the door, maybe before that. The possibilities were endless, and she gloried in all of them. He hesitated though, and she knew she'd have to take the initiative. She parted her lips and moved the few inches closer to his lips.
"Yes," she breathed. His lips moved to hers before the word had barely left her mouth. She moaned into him, tightly wrapping her arms around his neck. She thought she might be crying. He thought he was dreaming. But she was still there when he opened his eyes, and he was shaking. Her eyes sparkled up at him.
"I still love you too."
His relieved sigh was very audible. He cupped her face in his hands and looked at her intensely. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say that."
"At least you didn't sleep with Humphrey in the process this time," she chuckled. His eyes darkened. "You were in a real relationship, one that shouldn't have been allowed to hurt me. And for the most part, I wouldn't let it. My conviction was to hate you."
He tilted his head in question. "I was very unsuccessful," she confided. His eyes smiled at her and he bent his head to kiss her.
"I'm going to marry you someday," he murmured against her. Her whole body shivered with the beauty of that statement. A giggle slipped out.
"I'm going to let you," she whispered.
…
Drabble 2—
It was a warm, sunny afternoon. Manhattan was decorated with New Yorkers, enjoying the last few days of the hot summer air, partaking in activities that didn't require business wear or a formal itinerary. On a day like this, Blair would either stick to shopping or would lounge at the beach. She felt like neither. Serena was busy, and no one else would do. She wasn't about to ask Chuck to come with her, shot or not she was still so very heartbroken over what he had done. So, she walked the streets alone, searching for some sort of excitement, or maybe peace from the fast-paced, though luxurious and romantic summer.
Chuck felt the air shift. He was sitting with Eva, her tanned skin highlighted against the rounded black bench. He felt very happy with her, secure, not guilty. He loved to kiss her, and the way her hair shined in the sun completely intensified his senses. She was such a sweetheart too. He doubted she would have been with him before the accident. Though, she might have been naïve like Jenny Humphrey was at the Kiss on the Lips party. He did not want to think about the similarities. All he knew was that Blair was nearby and Eva was still talking to him. He'd been listening a moment ago, but he lost all train of thought. He tensed.
"Are you alright?" He heard Eva ask. Immediately he focused his attention back on hers.
"Yes, beautiful," he said, kissing her sweetly on the cheek. "Continue."
She glowed. "I just told you I loved you." She smiled, and he went into panic mode. It was not because he was afraid of feelings like with Blair, it was because he didn't love Eva, not yet at least. Some part of him was convinced he never would. But he didn't want to break her heart. He was sick of breaking girls' hearts.
"You did?" he finally asked, fighting to maintain the steady control he still had on his voice. She was oblivious to how intensely the war was going on inside him. He had grown incredibly tense, and was quite surprised she hadn't noticed. Maybe she had just chosen not to say anything. Perhaps she had thought he was just nervous to respond to her in the appropriate manner. She knew nothing of how hard it'd been for him to say the words the first time. She knew nothing about any of it. All she knew was the bare essentials and that he'd screwed up a lot before he got shot, that that was the reason he got shot: because he cared too much, and so screwed up worse than anyone when things got bad. He didn't dare tell her he didn't know how to love, even if that had been the one always constant thought penetrating his mind from the last time Blair had walked out on him.
"What do you have to say to that, Charles?" She drew out his full first name, just like Blair had always done with his last. He knew Blair was close. He didn't have to look to find her. He knew he couldn't at this point, not when Eva was holding out for his I love you. They'd only been together a few months, he thought. That would be as good an excuse as any to prevent her from pressuring him further.
"I'm not ready, Eva," he said, wrapping a blonde curl around her ear. She was clearly disappointed, but took it in stride. She laid her head on his shoulder and took his hand in her own, intertwining their fingers.
"I'll be waiting for you when you are." She smiled tenderly, but his smile was forced. He was glad she couldn't see it. The clacking of heels made him turn his head. He saw Blair walking away and honestly thought she'd heard the whole conversation. He wanted her to know he hadn't moved on, even if he was trying to. He wanted her to know she was still ingrained in his blood, and that I love you wouldn't flow from his lips to someone like Eva for a very long time. He tried not to think about how that end time might be forever.
She walked faster than ever to get away from the scene. She could not bear to be near to Chuck and Eva when they embraced their first love confessions. Angry, hurt chills had shot with her and she despised herself for it. She knew it couldn't be helped though, just like when her heart had soared with his inability to tell his blonde girlfriend that he loved her. She hoped it was because of her, his first love, that he was so hesitant. Then she scolded herself for listening in so long, and even thinking of him happily to begin with.
…
Drabble 3—
He was at her doorstep just as Blair walked by. She didn't see her, and he was glad for it. There wouldn't be a show down between them, there never was. There was just shielded bitterness in Blair's eyes when she saw them together. He hated that he'd brought that out in her, but in the long run he decided it would be better for her to be bitter over him moving on, than be heartbroken because he could never treat her right as a boyfriend.
"Last I checked, people didn't go to bed at three in the afternoon," she remarked snidely, passing him by on the street. Without thinking, he followed her.
"She's not going to bed, Blair. She just wanted some time to herself. I think she's getting together with friends later," he said. She raised her eyebrows in amusement.
"Is that so?"
He nodded, and then looked at her suspiciously. "Yeah. Is that so hard to believe?"
She shrugged. "Maybe it's because she's French."
"You like French people."
"Well, yes, certain kinds. My father lives in France after all, I kind of have to. And Paris is a beautiful city, so immediately the people look gorgeous. Not everybody though." She continued on in her path down the street, confident in her stride. He did not fall behind.
"You don't like Eva," he said, deciding it was finally time to deal with the issue.
"She's a nice girl," she said, not denying his statement. "Have you slept with her yet?" she asked a beat later, before he could think of something to say. Any words on his end were delayed further with the speechlessness that came of her question.
"We're taking things slow," he said finally. She stopped suddenly, not meaning to. She'd heard similar words before from him. Slow had never really happened. Their attempts to 'take things slow' either ended things much quicker, or sped up the waiting process for sex. Most of the time they just couldn't keep their hands off each other. Somewhere in the back of her mind she took joy in the fact that Chuck didn't seem to be having a problem with taking things slow with his new girlfriend.
She started walking again. "Plan on doing her in your limo?" she asked casually, remembering for only a brief moment his comment that the limo was sacred, for them. She hoped he hadn't changed his mind like he had with everything else. Moisture ebbed up in her eyes; she couldn't believe she was near tears at the possibility that he might taint their 'special place' with someone else.
"She's not that kind of girl, Blair."
She stopped again. This time she turned to look at him. He was already standing still, looking searchingly into her deep brown eyes. Her heart begged her to not take his reasoning so personally. She should have known he would not admit to keeping Eva from the back of his limo because his memories with Blair there were sacred, she thought. She brushed aside the contemplation and put on her best fake smile.
"She may not be kinky, but I know some part of you still is and will exploit her innocence in that venue soon enough." He parted his lips to contradict her, but she continued on. "When she's ready," she assured him, her smile deepening into bitch mode. Then, she spun on her heels and began to walk away, proud of herself for having won the argument.
"I'm not that kind of guy," he called out to her. She stopped again, the feel of bugs crawling all over her. She felt like she was enclosed in a dark, icy world. She didn't dare turn around to face him. He was half a block away now, but it still felt as though he was right behind her, breathing against her neck. "Not anymore," he said softly. It was a miracle she had heard him. But she had. She always did. She hated that.
A tear seeped out of both her eyes at once, but she wiped them away before they got access to her cheeks. She so desperately wanted him to assure her that, even though Eva was not 'that kind of girl', the memories they had made together still imprinted his decisions on how far he would go. But he said nothing more, and she started walking again. She had brought no Kleenex with her, and she knew if she attempted a retort sobs would sneak into her voice. At the very least her eyes would look red when she said it. So, she just left him standing there, with him having won the argument. The fact did not make her feel any better. It made her feel worse. He shouldn't be able to win when she'd lost so many times.
She wondered if he cared.
….
A/N: That is all. The last two I've had in mind for awhile, I just always kept forgetting about them when I wrote newer drabbles for this. XD The first one I just came up with today, and it was like this light bulb sort of moment. I really like the possibility that he tries to move on with Eva so he can be worthy of Blair someday again. Heh. Please review. I was gonna update GWK tonight too, but it just isn't going to happen. Maybe tomorrow. =)