AN: Hello friends, I am here! After a grueling marching season, car accidents, medical problems and school finals, I have returned to bring you the next act of the misadventures of this story of medical problems and soap-opera like dramas! As always, reviews are much appreciated, as well as any personal advice from people dealing with these sort of problems in their family. I strive to bring emotion to the story and evoke tears and short breaths from my readers. I am thrilled when I hear they are captivated and wholly consumed by the visions and feelings presented by the text, and it is my goal to bring such a sensation to you, the reader, as frequently as possible! So, review, review, review, and I will get better and better! Thank you for your time, and enjoy the chapter.
Pairings/Character Interactions: Karkat/Terezi, Karkat/Gamzee, Karkat/John, John/Gamzee, Terezi/John, Terezi/Gamzee, Kankri/Terezi, Kankri/Karkat, Karkat/Nepeta, Terezi/Sollux
Rating: G
WARNINGS: Hospital settings, Ideologically sensitive material, Unrequited love, Bullying, Vomiting, Kankri
Disclaimer: I do not own, make money off of, or claim rights to Homestuck, its characters, or anything of the like. I only own the plot and my presentation of their personalities. So don't sue me.
Have you ever loved someone so much
You'd give an arm for her?
Not the expression, no
Literally give an arm for her?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you are they're armor
And you would destroy anyone who would try to harm her
The first sounds Karkat hears upon his wake are the excited, high-pitched giggles and whispers of a girl who would be no more than fourteen years of age, and the well thought-out, crisp and precise words of someone their later twenties. Terezi's voice was there too, although not as loud or as frequent as the other two, which he swears he could place if his head would just clear up. He moves to rub his eyes, but instead of the feeling of soft skin meeting his eyelids it is the coarse fabric of the extra blankets hospitals kept for guests. He didn't remember getting a blanket before he went to sleep, nor did he remember falling asleep sitting up in the chair he was apparently in. Had he moved in his sleep? Had someone moved him, or—
"Oh, Karkat! Good, you're awake, we were beginning to wonder if it would be necessary to call in a nurse to check your vital signs. You are quite the sound sleeper; we moved you and adjusted your position and you hardly even breathed. I must mention that I am concerned about your sleeping habits, little brother, as you have not always gotten all the required hours vital for healthy growth. Perhaps that is why you are slightly stunted in your height; of course, please don't take that the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with your height, but if it worries you, I can assure you that it was nothing of your doing." Oh fuck, he knew that voice.
"Kankri, who the fuck invited you here?" were the first words out of his mouth, and he was sure he would regret them in a moment as he wadded up the itchy hospital blanket and put it on the end of Terezi's bed, rubbing the sleep-dust out of his eyes and running a hand through his mussed hair as he grunted a hello to the fourth occupant in the room: Nepeta.
"Formally? No one, I suppose I invited myself into here, which may have been a step out of line and I apologize in advance for any additional stress this may cause you, but I was bringing someone else along with me who was very concerned for your well-being. You see, Nepeta called me in quite the hurry this morning—as she seemed unable to get a hold of you or Terezi—and relayed the situation to me, which she had heard of from Misses Peixes, who had heard it from your good friend Gamzee. She was quite worried for not only Terezi's health, but yours as well, as we are all aware how low your tolerance is for stressful situations, and kindly asked me if I would come by, pick her up, and bring her here to the hospital. Seeing as I had no prior arrangements for the day, I happily obliged—"
"Okay! Okay, I get it, just shut up!" Karkat interrupted him, holding his hands out in Kankri's general direction with a pained expression, "A simple: 'I came to check on Terezi' would have sufficed."
Kankri seemed unfazed, completely calm and undeterred, "I'm sorry, have I triggered you?"
"Heehee, I think Karkitty is just purrplexed by your sudden arrival, Catkri! It has been some years since you both have confursed, correct?" Nepeta chimed in, cat-puns and all, as she adjusted her sitting position by pulling both legs up onto the chair, crisscrossed position, as she smiled kindheartedly towards Karkat, "Even though you two are brothers, you don't speak much, do you?"
"I guess you could say we don't. Karkat was never one for being entertained by my interests, and I was concerned that giving him proper privacy was a better alternative to trying to force him to interact with me. Unfortunately, it seems to have formed a rift in our relationship." Kankri said, crossing his arms over the ugliest red-sweater Karkat had ever seen in the entirety of his life. It must have been a newer addition to the man's wardrobe, because he had never seen it growing up, and Kankri made sure to wear every item of clothing at least once, as to not hurt anyone's feelings. It also made his clothes last longer, as a plus.
"Where in Hell did you get that sweater?" came out of his mouth before he could stop it. He didn't know how he hadn't seen it until now; it was the most vibrant shade of red one could imagine knitted into a giant turtleneck sweater, with not a stitch out of place anywhere. The craftsmanship was impeccable, but one would only notice it if they were able to get past the glaring color first. Karkat almost covered his eyes to keep it from burning out his retinas, but found that looking away and focusing on the navy blue of Nepeta's boots was an equally effective cure.
"Oh, this? My friend Porrim made it, isn't it lovely? Such a thoughtful gift for the oncoming cold season, I did thank her profusely for it. Doesn't she have a lovely stitching technique?" He said, admiring the article with a smile and a look of fondness in his eyes.
"What cold season, it's only two weeks into Fall! It's not even Winter yet!" He snapped at him, and Kankri opened his mouth to speak, but Terezi spoke before he had the chance to.
"Oh, Karkles, don't get to wrapped up in it. Isn't it nice just for people to make things for you? Leave your brother alone!" She chuckles, quiet and obviously pained, and Karkat takes long strides to her side, gently touching her hand before she turned it over and clasped his tightly. He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, muttering to her so quietly no one else could have heard it.
"Are you feeling better? I'm sorry." She smiles smoothly, nodding ever so slightly as she turns her head in his direction.
"My head hurts like a bitch, but I have a feeling I am doing better than I was last night. I don't remember what happened, how did I end up here?" She opens her eyes and looks in the direction she thinks he is standing is, and he only has to adjust her head a few degrees to the right before she's looking straight at him. Even though she is blind, her eyes hold the shimmer of curiosity, and the dull sheen of fear; she wants to know the truth, but then again, she is afraid of what it may reveal. Karkat breaths in and holds it as he thinks, before letting it out slowly.
"You just hit your head off of the dresser, that's all. Right on the corner, so it broke the skin, but you're fine. You'll be able to come home in a few days." He assured her, petting her hair and squeezing her hand. Physical reassurances where just as important as emotional ones with Terezi, since she couldn't see if there was a smile on his face or guilt in his eyes. He tried not to give things away with his voice, and over the years he had become better and better, to the point where Terezi could think of his tone of voice for an entire hour and get completely the wrong idea. He was just that good.
"I hate to interrupt your moment, Karkat, but I must be taking Nepeta home now, and it would be rude of us not to say goodbye." Kankri spoke, his chair already back in place by the wall by Nepeta's, the younger girl rocking on her heels with a sad smile on her face. She knew he would never love her like he loved Terezi, and it disheartened her each time she saw him, Karkat was aware, and a ting of guilt plucked at his heartstrings as he sighed.
"Uh, yeah—My bad." He took steps to Nepeta, looked her up and down, and took in how much she had grown since the last time he had seen her. No longer the short, hyperactive, nosy little brat he knew in his high school days, but instead a proud individual with fantastic social skills.
She had become stockier than he had originally though she would be; broad shoulders, small hips, thin—yet well defined—thighs, legs, and arms. Her hair was a tornado of blonde highlights and natural black wisps under a blue, cat-shaped hat she had obviously sewn herself, judging by the messy stitching and mismatched buttons, which made the eyes. She wore a long, moss-green jacket with deep pockets that swallowed her hands and wrists; a loose, slightly baggy 'ASPCA Volunteer' work-shirt that exposed some of her shoulders and the well-defined collarbone, complete with a slightly torn-up and frayed set of sweatpants with the writing 'LEIJON' in gold going down the side of the left pant-leg. Her boots were a set he had seen commonly among teen girls in the streets, some brand called 'Uggs' or some other name that sounded like a noise of detest. He hadn't made much of an effort to remember it. After a minute or two of silence as he examined her, he leaned over and pulled her into a hug with one arm, saying faintly 'thanks for coming to visit her' before letting go, messing up the angle of her hat with a half-assed smile, but a smile nonetheless.
He turned his attention to Kankri, quickly casting a glance past the partially drawn curtain to catch the image of a sleeping John—who's arm was wrapped in a new cast and had stitches in his knee—and held out a hand, and his older brother smirked somewhat, "What, are you not going to hug your brother as well? That seems sexist to me."
"Pft. You could find something offensive about a butterfly, you dumb-dumb, now shake my hand and get out." Was his sarcastic response, with an amused grin tugged at his lips as the younger sibling extended a hand, which the older took gladly, "I guess it was okay seeing you. Just make sure I know ahead of time, so I can buy some earplugs next time."
"I will be sure to do so. Have a pleasant day, Karkat." Kankri turned to face Terezi, "And a swift recovery to you, Misses Pyrope." He extended his hand to Nepeta, who took it with a pleased smile, "A good day, to both of you. I will be sure to check up on you again soon."
"Good bye, Terezi, Karkat! I'll see you two again soon!" Nepeta said with a wave, and her and Kankri exited the room, allowing Karkat to let out a sigh of relief.
"Out of all the people who come to visit, it was them..." he muttered, and he could feel the cold sweat in his palms and on the back of his neck. He felt his heart pounding in his chest and the dizziness in his head increased dramatically. He had been suppressing it while his brother was here, because Kankri was the last person he needed worrying about him, but now it was all coming on at once and he rushed into the bathroom as he felt burning bile in the back of his throat. He hadn't eaten anything yet, so the only thing that came up was last-night's disgusting hospital parfait, bile, and water. His hands shook as they gripped the cold porcelain of the toilet seat, his stomach muscles contracting and pumped everything out of his body as his skin shined with a cold sweat. He breathed heavily, breath making tiny ripples in the clear water as he coughed up the last of the bile residing in his throat before tearing off some toilet paper and wiping his mouth and throwing it in the toilet. He flushed away what little remains of food were in his stomach from the previous evening and stood on shaking, quivering legs to look at his reflection in the mirror.
His skin was pale and the bags under his eyes made them appear as dark hollows. He can hear the rhythm of his heart beating in his ears and his palms are shaking as he flicks on the tap, squirts twice as much soap as he needs into his palms, and scrubs at his skin. He digs his nails into his skin and rubs violently, as if trying to wash away his guilt—his sorrows. His mind is lost as he washes his palms raw, his thoughts only consumed with how he hurt her, what a waste he was compared to his brother, how painful it must have been for Nepeta to see him. What did they think of him? The worst, it had to be that he was the worst. He had always been a pessimist, a rebel, a negative-thinker. Who would want him around? He was disgusting, a waste of cells and protein; nothing more than a mistake in human form, that's all he was—
He hadn't realized his hands were bleeding and that the water was scalding hot by now. He quickly pulled his hands out from under the water with a cry of pain, cursing loudly at himself as scratch marks on the tops of his hands were filling with crimson and leaving red miles of blood dripping down over his fingers as he desperately wadded up paper towel in an attempt to stop the flow. It stung, both the burns and the bleeding patches of skin, and he didn't want the nurses to think he was crazy, or that Terezi was violent, so he tried his best to do first-aid. There wasn't much in the bathroom, so he just kept dabbing at the wounds with wadded paper towel until they mostly stopped bleeding, and deemed it good. He was just about to exit the bathroom and return to Terezi when he heard a voice on the other side, speaking with Terezi. He cracked the door open just a hair, leaned in close, and listened.
"I feel like there's something wrong with Karkat that he isn't telling me... I think he's keeping it a secret because he thinks that he's gonna scare me or something..." Well, that was definitely Terezi. Who else was in the room?
"Shit, sister, even I don't know what's all up and going on with Karbro. He's been actin' real out of it lately and the gang is startin' to worry, but I'm not gonna get in his personal life. A motherfucker needs his space, ya' know?" Oh, it was just Gamzee.
"Yeah, but he'th been acting weirder than normal. When we were at the coffee thop yethterday, he wathed hith handth eight timeth before we left, and he kept looking like he thought thomeone wath gonna thoot him. It wath odd." Wait, was that Sollux? What was he doing here? Had he gotten a ride with Gamzee?
"I don't wanna confront him about it, because I think it would make him angry, and that might make it worse. We should just ignore it until we can figure out how to fix it, I think." Terezi spoke, softer than before, as if she knew Karkat was listening, and there was a moment's silence in the room before anyone said anything.
"...You mean fix both of you? That'th what you mean."
"There's nothing wrong with me."
"Sis—"
"There's nothing wrong with me!" she snaps at them, a growl ending her sentence. Karkat knew from experience that it was the silver lining separating and PS, and that it was just as easily broken as repaired. In the hospital, where she was under watch and care, he would assume Pyralsprite was less likely to appear, but it seemed that it was still a metaphorical coin toss every time she spoke to someone. There was another period of silence and a new voice spoke.
"Miss Pyrope, I've heard how Karkat talks about you... I think if there was something wrong with him, he'll tell you." Oh, it was the other patient, John. Looks like he was awake now, and had inserted himself into the conversation. You hear the soft shuffle of feet turning to the other side of the room, and there's a quick chuckle from Gamzee.
"Woah, man, where'd you come from? That's a sick cast you've got there; were you a hero for somebody? Breath life into them or something?"
"I pushed a boy out of the way of a car! He's on the floor below me, I went to visit him earlier this morning. His name is Dave, and he's got an older brother he calls Bro, though I'm not sure why? I think I'll start talking to him more." He seemed rather chipper for a boy who was in a cast and had stitches, but better glad than depressed, Karkat thought. It was said people who were positive healed faster, anyhow.
"Woah! You really are a motherfuckin' hero! Nice job, bro!" Gamzee congratulated him, and Sollux said something of the same manner before turning back to Terezi.
"Hey, lithten, TZ. I gotta make like a bee and buzz off, but I'll thop by thome other time if you're thill thuck in here in a few dayth. Tell Karkat I thaid 'hi', okay? I'll catch you later."
"Bye, Sollux! Bee careful, hehe." Karkat heard Sollux make a snapping motion at Terezi with his fingers and rolled his eyes. They made such lame jokes. He was just about to leave the bathroom, when he decided to listen to the conversation between Terezi and Gamzee a little more, to see how it played out. Chances like these don't come very often.
"That was cool of a motherfucker to come down here and chill for a little bit, wasn't it? Good thing I caught him in the lobby, cause he was pretty damn lost." Gamzee chuckled, and Karkat nudged the door open a little more and peeked through the crack, watching Gamzee stand close to Terezi's side like a faithful dog, holding her hand all the while. If one didn't know of Karkat, they may have thought they were an item.
"Yeah, but he has good intentions! No sense of direction what so ever, but he's a great friend, even if he's a little sarcastic sometimes." Terezi giggles a little and Gamzee smiles at her, not moving from his spot.
"It's a miracle he puts up with Karkat, man. A guy like that usually wouldn't mess with a fire-cracker like our crabby-friend in the bathroom. But hey, that's what miracles are; you can't decide how they'll happen."
"It's probably a miracle I'm still alive! Karkat said I hit my head really hard, and the doctors said I have a minor concussion, but I guess it could be worse. At least I'm still talking and thinking!"
"Nah, sis, you're a miracle all on your own. Never gonna be another girl quite like you." and he leans down a little, as if to press a kiss to her forehead, but then he leans lower still, and shifts forward, as if pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. From the angle he was at, Karkat was unable to decipher if it was actually a kiss or not, but as Gamzee lifts a hand, as if to wipe away at something on Terezi's cheek or at the corner of her mouth, he feels his blood boil and his heart sink a little. His best friend having an affair with his (mentally ill) girlfriend? No, they would never...
Or would they?
Having heard enough of this conversation, he shut the door silently, turning on the water before shutting it off, waiting a moment and opening the door abruptly, finding Gamzee in the original position he had been standing in, and no trace of a kiss ever occurring.
"There you are, Karkat! What took you so long? You missed Sollux!" Terezi piped up, a bright smile on her face as she faced in the direction of the opposite side of the room, even if she wasn't looking directly at him.
"Eugh, I think I caught the flu or something. My stomach hurts like a bitch." Was all he muttered, covering for his extensive time period in the bathroom efficiently, it seemed.
"Well, you haven't eaten anything today, maybe you should go get something?"
"No problem, Karbro, I can go get you something from Micky D's if you want. You too, Sis, since this hospital grub sucks pretty bad." Gamzee offered, rolling his eyes a little at the thought of hospital food. Karkat had to agree, it was pretty low-quality, and the promise of fries and a burger was more than too tempting.
"Yeah, I could really go for a quarter pounder or something, since I just vomited up everything I ate." Terezi made a gagging sound to mock him.
"EWW, Karkat! Gross! You're gonna make me feel sick too, and I really like fries and milkshakes, I don't wanna miss out on that!" she griped, and Karkat found himself snickering, amused.
"It was nasty, all yellow and green and disgusting. I think there were chunks of granola in it." He added detail to his plight, and Terezi made plenty of gagging and vomiting noises to accommodate for the low blow. They were all chuckling, even John, at Terezi outrageous acting, but they quieted down when Gamzee started taking orders.
"Okay, so, Quarter pounder—meal and all—for Karkat; Chocolate milkshake and large fries for Terezi... You want anything, kid?" He said, directing the question to John, who looked startled.
"Who, me?" He asked, as if it could be anyone else.
"Yes, you, idiot. Dammit, John, do you want something or not, the man's on a schedule here." Karkat hurried him along as he though of what he would like to eat.
"Um...Just a regular cheese burger and fries—oh, and a coke would be nice—if that's not too much?" He appeared bashful, a slightly pinkish hue coming to his cheeks as he toyed with his sheets to distract himself.
"No problem! I've got you covered, John-bro! You cats chill here till I get back, I'm probably gonna grab some wicked elixir while I'm out anyways. Shouldn't be more than thirty minutes." Gamzee remarked, slowly removing himself from Terezi's side and spinning the keys around his finger as he strolled out of the room, leaving the trio to themselves once again.
"He seems really nice, especially since I just met him and all. Are you guys close?" Asked John, attempting to make more conversation.
"Yeah, I've known him practically all my life. He's a year older than I am, and he's a dumbass from start to finish, but he's there when you need him. I guess that's all that counts." Karkat said with a shrug of his shoulders, sauntering up to Terezi and placing a kiss on the top of her head, which she responded to with a pleased hum. He noted how the light caught her auburn hair and accentuated the highlights and low-lights of its color. It graced it with volume and depth, giving it an almost unrealistically beautiful appearance. Although he would never admit it, he always saw Terezi through that rose-tinted filter everyone talked about. She was beautiful to him, and she hadn't ever stopped being beautiful, not even when she got sick. When she was diagnosed, it just enhanced her beauty in a grim sort of manner, like how flowers are most beautiful and full before they whither away and die.
He loved to look at her when she wasn't aware of it, just to study and pale of her skin against the red of her hair and the pink of her lips. The studious gaze of her grayed eyes and her long lashes made him want to kiss her a million times over until she believed that there was nothing quite as beautiful as her. He wanted to hold her and caress her skin—to feel the way she quivered beneath his fingertips and arched to the form of his body. He wanted to gaze upon her in the mornings and tell her stupid quotes from poems like 'how shall I compare thee to a Summer's day? Let me count the ways...' in an exaggerated fashion that would make her laugh. He wanted her to know that, just because they lived in a dime-a-dozen box apartment, didn't mean that they were any less than people who could afford to buy a whole apartment complex and blow it up for their pleasure. He wanted to give her the world, the moon, and the stars—if it would only make her happy for as long as she shall live. Her happiness was most important.
"What's wrong, Karkles?" she asked, leaning towards him as he rubbed her shoulder with a hand, looking down at her with a grief-filled sort of fondness before placing another kiss on her head.
"Nothing, 'Rezi. Don't worry about it." He whispered to her, and she made a noise of acknowledgment as he rubbed her shoulder soothingly, not wanting to really be anywhere other than by her side. He shut his eyes for a moment and listened to everything around him, but only for a moment. Now was not the time for reflection, that would be later. For now, he would relish in the peace of the moment.
It wasn't much later before Gamzee was back, much to everyone's delight, with McDonald's in hand. The evening was spent in pleasant conversation between the four of them—Terezi, Karkat, Gamzee and John—and although he hadn't grown up with them, the oldest three considered him an honorary member of their dysfunctional clique. As the day grew darker, each retired to bed; first John, then Terezi (who insisted Karkat go home, eat proper, and get some sleep), and after a short car-ride Karkat agreed to letting Gamzee stay the evening by sleeping on the couch.
As per the norm, Karkat was the last one to go to sleep, staring at the slightly-chipped dresser, the broken picture frame, and the eyeless scalemate that lay on the floor. He would have to fix it before Terezi found it, or she would do something stupid and try to fix it herself, and then who knows what would happen. The cancer boy inhales deep and sighs as he relaxes into his bed, examining the scalemate before setting it down on the bed. He rolls over on his side, turns off the bed-side lamp, and gets comfortable, eyes gazing at the nothingness the darkness has to offer for him visually. It takes some time, time mostly occupied by him simply laying there and wishing to sleep, but he eventually sleeps. It is restless, consumed by nightmares and plagued by guilt, and no matter how he tries he wakes up every hour more tired than before he went to sleep. At 4:13 AM, he finally sleeps soundly, too caught up in dreams of nothing too awaken again that evening.