"Holy shitballs." Murco said as drool began to drip out of his mouth at the sight before, behind, and all around him. "So many video games!"
"Yes, I knew you would like it here. This place is full of squares." Floating Duchess Unicorn Face said rolling her eyes over to a group of anthropomorphic squares.
"Racism." All the squares said in unison.
"Look!" Ster said grabbing Murco and Floating Duchess Unicorn Face's attention. "Lance Lance Revolution! That's perfect! You guys! Go! Play!"
Murco and Floating Duchess Unicorn Face growled at each other before quickly running, and floating, over to the giant flat screen television. There were already two squares playing but Floating Duchess Unicorn Face swiftly stabbed them with her horn and tossed them aside. Wasting no time, the pair put in their names and began playing by viciously stabbing their air with plastic lances.
"You're going down, downer!" Floating Duchess Unicorn Face shouted through her clenched teeth which were clenched around her lance.
"Oh yeah? Well you're mother's a whore!" Murco shouted back.
"Uh, okay, and your point would be?" Floating Duchess Unicorn Face asked without missing a beat.
"Aw, look at your two, talking shit!" Ster said placing a hand on each of their backs with a squelch. "Ewwww. Oh! I'll go get us some nice cold icicles to put on your disgusting sweaty backs!"
A few seconds later Floating Duchess Unicorn Face became distracted by something to her right and gasped, dropping her lance. Murco sieged the opportunity and swiftly executed her onscreen character, wishing he could do the same IRL.
"Hah! Who's the shit now?" Murco asked.
"Still you!" Floating Duchess Unicorn Face shouted as she flew off quickly.
"Huh, well thank you, I guess." Murco said with a shrug not sure if Floating Duchess Unicorn Face was admitting he was, in fact, the shit or she just wasn't listening.
"Uh, I think I'm next." A square said stepping up alongside Murco. "But with less abusive trash talk, please."
Murco accepted his new challenger and after a few moments of him putting in his name as simply 'Square' the game began. Murco wasted no time in wasting his opponent, easily ganking his bitch ass in seconds. After killing his onscreen counterpart Murco proceeded to do the same to the IRL Square as well.
"Hah! Did you see that Ster? Try and beat that Uniform Face!" Murco shouted to the horrified Squares who just witnessed his murder. "Uh… Ster…? Uniform Face?"
A strong hand suddenly grabbed Murco's shoulder tightly and in seconds he was surrounded by three heavily armed men in tan and brown uniforms. Before he could defend himself, he was quickly pulled away from his adoring audience and into a dark corner of the arcade. He was swiftly tied down to a chair with rope.
"Where is Floating Duchess Unicorn Face!?" One of the men asked shoving the barrel of an overly large handgun in Murco's face.
"I don't know!" Murco shouted in fear.
"WHERE IS SHE!?" A second man asked shoving the barrel of an overly large shotgun in Murco's face.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Murco shouted once more.
"FOR THE LAST TIME! WHERE IS SHE!?" The third man asked pointing the barrel of a tiny rifle into Murco's ear.
"I'M TELLING YOU! I DON'T KNOW!" Murco shouted with a sob.
"Not talking, eh? What if I do… THIS!" The guard with the tiny rifle shouted as he began spraying water into Murco's ear.
"STOOOOOP!" Murco pleaded loudly. "That's really annoying!"
"Oh hey, creeps!" An annoying, and familiar, voice shouted suddenly from behind one of the men. "I heard you're looking to ride with a unicorn. So, come and get me!"
The armed men suddenly bolted away from Murco and presumably began chasing Floating Duchess Unicorn Face. Murco could hear extremely annoying laughter and loud screams of terror as he struggled with his ropes. He groaned for a few seconds before finally pulling one of his arms out.
"Hah!" Murco exclaimed happily, now all he had to do was-
"Stand back, Murco!" Ster said suddenly appearing by Murco's side and pointing her wand at the tied-up boy.
"No! It's okay! My hand is free!" Murco shouted rapidly waving his arm to grab her attention.
"Oh, okay, that's good. I was afraid I'd have to sever your head and attach it to a robot or something." Ster said with a sigh of relief as she lowered her wand as more screams began to echo throughout the arcade alongside the annoying laughter.
Murco quickly freed himself of his bonds while Ster watched with perhaps a little too much enjoyment of his situation. As he stood up from the chair there was a large laser beam fired at the giant crystal spikes attached to the roof of the arcade. The laser bounced around the spikes before spreading all over the arcade, striking machines, the ground, and innocent squares.
"Murco, get close to me!" Ster shouted pulling Murco in closely as she cast a protective barrier around them, a very small one that forced them to be stuck against each other. After a few seconds the artillery came to a stop and Ster released them from their protective cuddle session.
"What the heck was all of that?" Murco asked looking around at the death and destruction around them.
"Time to give it up, cupcake." A booming voice was heard saying from somewhere in the arcade.
"Wait a second, is that… Emperor Unicorn Face?" Ster asked herself as she looked around curiously.
"I have no idea, but this is a massacre… we should probably bounce." Murco said watching a poor square struggle to crawl away from a burning arcade machine with ¼ of its body missing.
"Unicorn Face gave me her scissors before she left." Ster said as she pulled out the aforementioned dimensional scissors.
"Sweet, let's get out of here." Murco said as the booming voice from before returned.
"You're going to jail, cupcake, not reform school." The voice said with a laugh to assumedly Floating Duchess Unicorn Face. "You just murdered dozens of innocent squares."
"Yeah, let's get out of here." Murco said in a panicked voice as he gestured for Ster to cut with the scissors.
Ster quickly complied with his request and cut a hole to a random dimension, luckily that random dimension was Erf. Not only that, the portal took them right back to their backyard. Now that I think about it, Ster probably didn't cut a hole to a random dimension.
"Murco…" Ster said quietly as she grabbed Murco's wrist when he tried to walk back into the house. "I feel bad for leaving Unicorn Face."
"Aw, Ster, don't feel bad." Murco said turning to face Ster who had a sad look on her face.
"But she's going to jail!" Ster said releasing his hand and throwing her arms in the air.
Murco laughed heartily. "Ster, she's royalty. She'll be acquitted of all her crimes in a few days."
Ster's face brightened and she joined him in laughter. "Yeah, you're right."
"Corrupt governments am I right?" Murco said as the pair continued laughing and entered the house.
Alright, this episode is finally finished. I don't really like the chapters, but I feel like I got a few good jokes in them. Also, if anyone was wondering, Ster and Murco did not fix themselves after the room sucking incident and were just walking around missing their respective shoes.
Onto the Reviews:
Firefighter16 – Thanks my friend glad you enjoy it!
Negi . Gen . 500 – Yeah, Ster is a reference to Star_. Got the idea after I saw a thumbnail for an overwatch video with his face plastered over Star and someone else's over Marco.
SuicideGuy – I do have plans to off Pony Head, but sadly I can't implement them just yet. Luckily Pony Head isn't heard from after this point till St. Olga's.