Ok here is the Valentines chapter muahhahahahahah. This has like no romance is ment only for humor. Also if you end up feeling sorry for Uluquiorra I do to.

I do not own Bleach or Valentines day.

But in another story I wrote I own a Oc named Nikki.. She's bad ass.

Enjoy :) oh and sorry if there are spelling mistakes, because I'm doing this from an iPod it's spell check is kinda cruddy. So sorry!

Uluquiorra did not know what to do. Today was the day that Gin had called Valentines day and Gin told everyone in Las Noches about it.

Gin had told them that when you like someone, on Valentines day you give them something and ask to be their Valentine.

Uluquiorra had expected to see Grimmjow and Tia getting a lot. Of course they would. A few of the other espada such as Starrk, Nnitora, and even Sayzel would get a few he was sure.

But he didn't expect to get some himself.

Uluquiorra woke up that morning and got ready for the day. It didn't take too long, and when he went to the door to leave there was a note taped to the door. He pulled it off and his eyes read over the words.

He had no idea how to react.

The note said:

I have been watching you for a long time now,

I love your emerald green eyes that sparkle like the Huco Mundo moon

Will you be my Valentine?

Love,

Your secret admirer.

He coughed and threw it at the trash bin saying "trash" as he left the room.

As soon as he was out chuckles could be heard coming from his closet and two figures tumbled out. "I have to admit Grimmjow, this is your best fucking idea yet," Nnitora said as he was holding his stomach. Grimmjow was also laughing quite hard "Yep now are you ready for part two?"

Nnitora gave his signature piano grin that could make a baby cry.

"yep"

—

Uluquiorra got a chill down his spin that told him something bad was going to happen as he exited his room. Ever since Gin had decided to start celebrating human holidays Uluquiorra had been getting rather annoyed. Not only that, his pride had been damaged.

He headed to the cafeteria so he could get some tea like he did everyday.

To bad that unbeknown to him someone had left him a gift.

He entered the room and walked to the counter and grabbed a glass then he traveled to the counter to pull out what he needed. Doing it like he did every morning. He reached in for what he needed when his eyes flickered to something that caught his eye. Something pink...

Uluquiorra turned his head to glance at the object. His eyes flashed wide with surprise. It was a pink teddy bear holding a heart shaped box of chocolate. There was a red bow attached to the bears left ear. Not only that but sticker onto a heart shaped patch on the bears belly were the words: Uluquiorra be my valentine!

If Uluquiorra wasn't already white I would had said that he paled. If it helps his tear streak things got to be a duller color. He did not know what he had done to deserve this kind of stuff. He did not want a trashy teddy bear nor did ridiculous chocolates.

With a quick flick of his wrist he snatched it.

He had the bear in his heads to examine it further.

He saw another note

Hey Uluqui-chan! Don't worry you will be getting pleny more gifts!

Love you ;)

He made a worried look (as worried as Uluquiorra can get).

Then without hesitation he made a tiny cero, causing the bear burst into flames. The ashes drifted slowly to the ground.

He then forgetting his tea spun out of the room and left and decided he would be to Azein's meeting early. Wayyyyyy early.

When he was out of the room Grimmjow and Nnitora who had quickly made their way there before Uluquorria, looked at each other. Then burst out laughing. They fell off their chairs gasping to get air because of their crazy laughing.

The other Espada in the room looked at them funny then shrugged their shoulders.

"Eh? what's so funny" a voice asked. Grimmjow looked over to see a sleepy Starrk standing in the doorway.

Grimmjow and Nnitora just looked at each other and laughed even harder.

"you know what never mind... I'm gunna go back to sleep" Starrk said then moseyed back out of the room.

"heh so do you want to set up part 3?" Nnitora asked.

Grimmjow grinned. "yep"

—

When Uluquiorra entered the meting room he wasn't he only one there. Tia sat in her respective seat with her fingers folded waiting for the meeting.

"why are you here?" Uluquorria asked respectfully.

Her eyes traveled over it him "hiding from Aaroniero," she replied.

"valentines day trash?"

"Yeah," she shivered a little.

They were both silent.

Both had understanding of each other.

Uluquiorra then went and sat in his chair. His hands also folded.

They just sat there for like twenty minutes till a figure walked through the door. Uluquiorra looked over , it was just a lower Arrancar.

"um I have a delivery for Uluquiorra Cifer" the Arrancar said then quickly plopped something in the table and left. It was like the Arrancar didn't want to get killed.

Uluquorria's eyes quickly spun to the object. It was a green vase with a black rose. Red ribbon was tied around at and it had yet another note:

You will be mine forever Uluquiorra chan!

Uluquorria shivered and pushed away the vase. Tia inspected it her eyes full of wonder.

Her eyes then dickered back to Uluquiorra in amusement "I assume that you have been having the same problem as me?" she staited.

Uluquiorra picked up the case and walked over to the window throwing it out "trash," he said as it fell. Little did he know that when it landed it fell upon one of the worst people for it to land on. Gin picked up the seemingly shatter prof vase and inspected it.

He peeped open one of his eyes to read the attached note.

He laughed when he read the note. He was laughing so hard that a random Arrancar walking by decided to turn tail and leave. Usually when Gin was laughing that meant hell was going to break loose.

But that wasn't the case.

—

After what seamed like hours to Uluquiorra but was only 30 min the meeting finally started. All was going normal in the meeting. Some of the espada were conversing in the things that they had received today.

Aronerio was standing behind Tia trying to talk to her and Tia was ignoring him. Aronerio was currently in Kaien form because Tia told him she didn't want to see his face.

Apparently he didn't get the hint.

Grimmjow and Nnitora were surprisingly having a conversation without beating the crap or cussing out each other.

Uluquiorra remained in his seat motionless. His green eyes staring at his thumbs.

No one knew there was something wrong with him except Tia. Also Grimmjow and Nnitora but it was unbeknownst to Uluquiorra that they were the cause of his unease.

And they loved making it worse.

Azein entered the room with Gin and Tousen. Grimmjow and Nnitora's faces contorted into evil grins.

Tia caught caught the grins and looked at them suspiciously.

"Happy Valentines Day!" Gin said skipping around the room. He handed everyone in the room a candy sucker heart. When he was done he skipped over to stand by Azein.

"ok I would like to start this meeting with..." Azein was cut off by a Arrancar walking in the room. He bowed to Azein "I'm sorry for interrupting but I have a delivery."

Azein rose an eyebrow. The Arrancar quickly ran over and dropped a basket on the table in front on Uluquiorra.

Uluquiorra froze. His eyes on the basket this was something he did not want to see.

He pushed the basket away as everyone eyes landed on him.

Everyone stared at the basket.

If Uluquiorra had a heart it would be pounding in his head.

He then did something unexpected.

He grabbed the basket and ran out of he room.

Everyone watched as quickly made his way out of the room.

As soon as he was out of the door Grimmjow and Nnitira burst out laughing. There laugher echoed around the room. eventually they fell of their chairs.

When they hit the ground hey bounced up, made eye intact, then booked it out the door.

—

Uluquiorra quickly ran to his room to possibly get some space. The basket he received was already a pile of ashes in the hallway. He didn't even try to glance inside to see what kind of hell was inside. Nor did he look at he note to see what words would be written upon it. He quickly turned the knob and pulled open the door.

As soon as he opened the door millions of notes fell out of his room into hallway. Instantly burying him in a pile of paper.

Grimmjow and Nnitora were quickly behind him with huge grins on there faces.

Uluquiorra popped up from under the pile a look of pure shock and horror on his face. He turned to his two viewers.

They where literally rolling on the floor laughing so hard.

Grimmjow spoke to Uluquiorra "hha *gasp* happy *gasp* fucking *gasp* Valentines day!" he said laughing crazily. He and Nnitora high fived.

Uluquiorra's face became his usual emotionlessness "did you two pieces of trash do this to me all day?" he asked.

"hahahaha Yeah!" Nnitora said with his piano grin.

Uluquiorra had a blank face at them.

Grimmjows and Nnitora's laughing slowed.

Uluquiorra pulled out his sword "Murcielago," he said.

"oh shit,"

"we are fucked,"

Nnitora and Grimmjow booked it the other way as fast as they could.

They ended running by the meeting room on their frenzied escape.

Gin stood there with his arms folded " Yep happy valentines day for all!" he said.

Tia punched him from the doorway and into the wall on the other side. There was a Gin shaped indent in the wall.

Tia's eyes then traveled to Aronerio, if it wasn't for Gin that would never had happened.

Gin walked out of the wall swooning back and forth dizzily.

Happy Valentines day?

Ok maybe it wasn't.