OK, Finally, someone sent me something! (Thanks a ton, superstartultra!) Hope you people enjoy it!

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All your base.

The interstellar spacecraft known as the SOS (Ship Of Suzumiya) gracefully cut through the blackness of space like a hot knife through butter. As guardians of the universe, they were on patrol, keeping watch for anything suspicious. Always ready for adventure and ever vigilant, the crew of the SOS were always ready to uphold the law of space. Never did they back down from a challenge or accept defeat. And never once, did any of them forget their mission in life.

To always aid the galaxy in times of need and whenever the dark forces of evil reared its ugly head.

Inside the main bridge, Haruhi Suzumiya was going over the team's latest mission report.

Nodding in approval at the statistics, she gave her second-in-command, Kyon, a winning smile and thumbs up. He nodded nonchalantly and went back to checking the stats of the plasma-reactors. The other two inhabitants of the bridge were Mikuru Asahina and Itsuki Koizumi. The curvaceous and big-hearted red-head of a girl was doing scans of the ship's armor, and the charismatic adviser to Haruhi was calibrating the radar screen for an upgrade to detect space-debris easier. Haruhi smiled to herself and dusted off a space layer of imaginary dust on the crimson uniform she was wearing, complimented by her navy-blue skirt. All in all, a very productive patrol so far.

Or so it seemed!

Disaster struck like a dodge-ball at recess- unpredictably and painfully. For you see, a large explosion rocked the ship, nearly sending the crew flying from their seats.

"What happen?" Haruhi asked, her voice oozing with alarm.

Mikuru pointed at a large television-screen, the Holo-Screen, covered with static that had

suddenly come down from the ceiling. "Someone set up us the bomb," Mikuru said quietly, fear evident in her robotic voice.

"We get signal!" Itsuki announced with gusto, even though he sounded entirely unenthusiastic.

"What!" Haruhi grit her teeth together. This could only be the work of one person... "Main screen turn on," she ordered to Kyon.

Nodding, Kyon turned a big, yellow, cartoonish dial on the keyboard nearby. The Holo-Screen flickered and emitted a buzzing noise. The picture settled, revealing a pair of dark blue eyes first.

Haruhi couldn't believe her own golden eyes. "It's you!"

"How are you, gentlemen!" asked the being known as Ryoko Asakura, dressed in an outfit similar to Haruhi's, but with a huge blue captain's hat on her head, and some sort of cape.

Revered as the most cold-hearted and attractive space-pirate ever, Ryoko was both feared and respected by criminals and politicians alike. Even her eyebrows dripped grace and menace. Seated in her all-blue-themed bridge were her two top lieutenants: Emiri Kimidori and Tsuruya. Emiri was wearing a lime-green uniform and smiling sleepily, while Tsuruya was decked out in a platinum outfit and skirt, and generally just laughing her head off.

Truly these were the faces of pure evil.

"All your base are belong to us," Ryoko cackled, her smile turning into a fiendish grin. "You are on the way to destruction." The effect of this sentence was ruined when Tsuruya energetically waved at Haruhi's crew, but no one said anything.

"What you say!" Haruhi gasped. How could Ryoko have easily have taken over the universe and her home-world so quickly? And without them even knowing it!

"You have no chance to survive make your time," Ryoko said sultrily, her right hand supporting her chin as she lazily smiled at them from the comfort of her own heavily armed warship. "Ha ha ha." For some odd reason, Ryoko's mouth continued to move even after her bout of dull laughter ended. Then the Holo-screen went out with a flicker.

"Captain!" Itsuki cried out in unadulterated dismay, pointing at the radar screen he was observing. Peering over, Haruhi held back a curse as she saw the many green dots approaching their own white space on the sickly blue screen. Obviously, Ryoko had sent forth a squadron of Yukis to attack them. It wouldn't be long before they were all over the ship, ready to assimilate the crew of the SOS into their unending ranks.

Haruhi slammed down her fist on the arm of her fancy seat and stood, fist raised high into the air as she proclaimed, "I will take off every Zig. For great justice!" Then she put her hands on her hips and uttered a long laugh of triumph that also sounded a bit metallic.

In the seat to the very far left of Haruhi's chair, Kyon groaned and held his face in both hands.

Leave it to Haruhi to recreate the world in the image of the very last piece of media she had been watching, playing, or reading. It was bad enough that Ryoko had been brought back to serve as an antagonist for such a corny setting. If this continued, he was going to have to steal everything Haruhi owned, burn it, and give her a tin can filled with colorful buttons to play with.

She could have at LEAST played something with proper grammar... Kyon thought to himself in complete misery.

And throughout all this insanity, Taniguchi was dancing in the background of the ship to a VERY catchy techno remix.

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Hope this was funny enough for you, Layman. Thanks for letting me help. :)

Oh, you're very welcome, sir! I'm glad you believed in me enough to take my request seriously.

Anyhow, even if no one else feels the need to add anything to this fic, I'll continuously bring you new content so you won't get bored! Such as this next chapter of "GO GO RPG"...