A/N- So, this chapter accidentally acquired a very long unbroken speech in the middle, which I split into different paragraphs so it's easier to read. Sorry about that. Anyway, I'll try to post a new chapter every few days so you'll have the full story soon. Hope you like it!
"It's cool," he stood proudly, and alone, defending his own honour.
The scary thing was, Jackie was the only person who hadn't joined in mocking his beloved bow tie. Did that mean he wasn't allowed to dump her on the lost moon with the rest of them? Nah.
He shook his head in horror at the thought of the two of them alone in the console room, waiting for his wife and daug- little gi- ba-, for River to emerge afterward. Okay. Poosh was out. For now.
"So tell me this," Rose began, once everyone had stopped laughing, "you... knew you were going to have a baby- a daughter. You've... met her before. In fact, you've obviously seen her enough that the sight of her showing up in trouble doesn't even surprise you, and younger you is in there right now, watching her be born. Yet... you still ran away. Why?"
He looked about, deciding that fiddling with his trusty ship was the best way of avoiding the eyes of all the people who were currently cornering him into... talking about feelings and humany emotions. He sighed, passing things to his other self and to Donna as the three of them toyed with the TARDIS, the two Doctors banding together to keep Donna from "fixing" his beloved Police Box.
Finally, unable to escape the curious accusation ofall the eyes on him, the Doctor spoke up, flipping a switch before ducking below eyesight.
"It was the naming book."
"The what?" asked Sarah Jane, echoing everyone's confusion.
"Amy brought us a baby naming book, said we needed to settle what to name the baby when she finally came."
"But... don't you already know her name?" asked Mickey in bewilderment.
"Yes- but that's just it! Don't you see- I named her. She needed me to give her her name! And I realized it just goes on from there- she'll need to be fed and clothed and watched over and what if she gets bored but I blunder in somewhere dangerous because, let's face it, that's what I do. And then she's crying and it's all my fault and River will use her guns, but then what will that really be teaching our daughter other than violence solves problems, but not the problems of the universe, oh no, the problems I cause because let's face it, trouble tends to find me.
And then when people find out about her, will they want to hurt her, because she's the Doctor's daughter and it's my fault I couldn't save whoever it was they had expected me to save, and they think she's just the same as me, and what if she really is the same as me and she goes too far and I can't blame her because Gallifrey knows what I'm capable of, so then I can't do anything but watch the cycle continue.
Or- what if she wants a normal, linear life, can I give her that or will I run away one day like I always do and I leave her and then, there's my daughter, just alone and waiting for me like Amelia all over again, except this time it'll be my fault and she'll always wonder where I went went and why she's all alone and she'll resent me for being "the Doctor" who leaves and destroys lives.
But, of course, she'll be so amazing but it'll have nothing to do with me because I'll have been the reason she doesn't fit in anywhere. And then, what if she's too much like me and danger finds her when she's on her own anyway, and I look away for one moment and then boom the entire cosmos is after her and then she gets hurt and uses up her regenerations in trying to escape, but they keep coming after her because she's the child of the Oncoming Storm and why would I ever believe that's a suitable title when I have a daughter to think about who will think it's okay to make people fear you and run at the sound of your name?
Then, what if people mock her because she's the girl who doesn't make sense no matter where she goes and she wants to see and experience planets and times far from her own and she becomes a fugitive who's feared or hated throughout the universe and hunted down, until every monster who's ever posed a threat hates her too and wants to hurt her and use her and destroy her?
And what if they do so because I can't protect her from everything no matter how hard I try and they hunt down my Bella Song and children call her horrible names and boys break her hearts and she hates how awkward she is and how she couldn't save those people and she doesn't always feel beautiful and it's all because I gave my daughter the wrong name?!" he finally finished his rant, every- every- fear he'd had these last years since he'd run from his very pregnant wife finally spilling out uncontrollably like a geyser finally bursting forth. He'd left the centre console itself some time ago, pacing, unseeing, throughout the console room, waving his arms wildly and gesticulating madly.
There was silence as all his friends tried to process the rambling of the terrified father-to-be. Then Sarah Jane walked over to him, tentatively setting a hand on his shoulder, before she wrapped her arms around him, feeling him slowly calm down in her embrace.
"You know," she said, "I tried not to get too attached to Luke, when he first came into my life. Thought I lived too dangerously, that if he got hurt, I couldn't protect him, and the idea that I could allow this child to come into jeopardy because of me was… overwhelming." She pulled away, looking at the wary Time Lord. "But, he just looked at me, trusting that I could take care of him, and that was enough. Because… I work every day to be worthy of that trust. When he needs me, I'm there for him. When things seem dire, he knows how much he is loved. And sometimes, that's all I can offer him. But mostly- that's enough."
The Doctor huffed, looking desperate, before turning to Jackie, whose child he'd stolen and endangered and nearly kept from her forever. Then, he managed to whisper the one thought that had consumed every possibility with Bella since the first moment he'd found out about her.
"But what about when it's not?"
He looked despairingly at Jack, who quickly turned his head away in utter sadness. Then he met Jackie's gaze, steady and calm, before her lips curled up into a peaceful smile.
"Then you let her make her own choices, knowing that she's a sensible, independent, strong person. And when she needs you, really, really needs you, and she always will- you'll find a way to rip the walls of the universe apart to keep your daughter safe." She stood next to Rose, hugging her daughter tightly to her with fond smiles on both of their faces, before Rose turned to the Doctor.
"You've spent all this time travelling with humans, and you usually find a way to keep us safe, Doctor. Look- you've just saved the universe. Again! You said it yourself- your daughter will be amazing. And you get to be a part of that. The Doctor's daughter. Beautiful."
The Doctor still looked unconvinced, his eyes gazing longingly at the TARDIS doors, in front of which Mickey had now gone to stand guard next to Jack.
Suddenly, Donna, who was still fiddling with the console, spoke up.
"It's all gonna be fine, Doctor. Apparently the TARDIS already got your Bella's special rooms set up."
The Doctor huffed, turning slowly toward his old friend as he waved a hand dismissively. "I kno- wait. Rooms?" He ran to look at the screen on the console, before they all dashed down a corridor to the special rooms his ship has made his baby.
When they were all inside, they looked around curiously, touching the walls and seeing the effort and love that must have gone into the room around them.
"What is this place?" asked Jackie.
"Oh, brilliant," said the human Doctor, grinning widely as he studied the walls. "Don't you see- it's the perfect place, really. The walls are all made of 39th Century padding- they always keep their shape and softness, yet can withstand a supernova. Under the depths of the carpet is rubber- reinforced flooring, and these rooms are deep in the heart of the TARDIS. Bella will never have to be in danger in her life, just so long as she remains right here."
The Doctor sonicked the room, reading the screwdriver and shaking his head thoughtfully. "So..." he began uncertainly, "I should just... keep her in-"
"-here?" challenged Rose, "Away from any harm. Or enemies. Or danger. Or... life. Trap her like a prisoner in the safety of the TARDIS. She won't live much, but at least you could guarantee her protection."
The Doctor glanced around at all his friends, then leant his forehead against the wall, closing his eyes and thanking his ship for her not-so-subtle nudge for him to stop being ridiculous.
"All children can get into danger, Doctor. Perhaps yours will more than most. But, she deserves a life. She deserves the universe. And you're her father. You'll be there whenever and wherever she needs you, whether that danger consists of an army of monsters or holding her after she's scraped her knee or broken her hearts. And not because you're the Doctor. Because you're her daddy. And that's a far more important and sacred role."
A/N- Ooh, and I just realized not everyone might watch the spin off shows, so just as a reference: Luke is Sarah Jane's adopted son, and Jack... knows what it is to lose children.