Chapter 4
A/N: I know, I know – you wanna know the PAST! And it's as delectable as the future, so we'll have to take it slowly…not sure we'll be able to handle it all at one time. I will try to answer all the questions – what happened, why she left, why he let her, where's he been, etc…. If I leave anything out – let me know! This one chapter will NOT address most of that, but I do promise to dish out the details soon! PROMISE! Stay with me for the ride! This chapter is long, but so much needed to be said. Love you guys!
By the time we finish our drinks, I have calmed down considerably. I give myself a shake realizing he probably didn't recognize me. After all, it has been 25 years and I've changed so much since that long, lazy afternoon in his arms. Age and childbirth have taken their toll on my body, rounding out angles and softening them into womanly curves which James disparagingly referred to as pudge. Fuck him. What the hell does he know anyway? If he wants to cuddle up to some skanky, flat assed, sack of bones hag, that's his problem, not mine.
Lauren looks at me, concern clouding her usually serene blue eyes. "You okay, babe?"
I must have really given them a scare with my melodramatic, albeit temporary, disconnect from reality. I shrug off the last remaining remnants of shock, and with a nod I extend her a small smile. "Yeah. I'm good. Really. It just was such a shock, seeing him like that after all this time."
"C'mon, then. Let's fucking dance! We came here to have fun, damn it, and I'm gonna make sure we have a fuckton of down and dirty fun!" Rose grabs me by the hand with a loud "WOO-HOO" and a fist pump, signaling for everyone else to follow.
And in that one gesture I am reminded why these women are my friends. I can't fathom why I've been reluctant to spend more time with them. They have been my life line for the last 2 years. Who the hell am I kidding? We've been through too many high school scrapes, college escapades, kicked the asses of more than one self indulgent man and skank-ho bitch, cried on each others shoulders, downed enough bottles of wine to fill the cellar of any self respecting winery, and shared more secrets than the KGB, FBI and CIA combined. They are an integral part of who I am. Life line…pssshhh! We're sisters!
The band is playing "Rest of My Life" and it's just the pick me up I need. We prance out onto the dance floor like a gaggle of half sloshed teenagers, laughing and shouting so loudly we can be heard over the music. Arms in the air, head thrown back, feet skipping, and all the while my heart gets lighter and lighter. I take this chance to behold each of them and this only makes me laugh harder.
Lauren is twirling around in circles while Alice is emitting more energy than the A-Bomb. Rose and Jess are bumping and grinding, causing a man jam to form around us. I can't remember the last time we were all together like this and I want this moment, this feeling, to never end.
"Love in this Club" fills the air and there is a perceptible shift in the mood. Rose and Jess kick it up a notch and Alice begins flitting around them, giving the aura of an enchantress weaving her charms. Lauren and I just smirk at each other, satisfied to sit back and watch the spell they cast upon the poor, unsuspecting men around them. They emit an ethereal beauty not unlike a spider spinning her web. It's almost comical to see the slack-jawed, glassy eyed gazes on the faces of the men watching them. They are so stunning that, without a doubt, even some of the women are questioning their sexuality.
Two large hands capture my hips from behind, startling me and causing me to yelp. A wall of solid heat presses against my back and even with the years between us, I immediately recognize who my captor is.
"Damn fools! Any man that can't see you're the most beautiful woman here must be blind and doesn't deserve to be called a man anyway."
My heart skips a couple of beats and I feel my belly coil in an uncontrollable response to the husky voice I never dreamed I'd hear again. I try to turn to face him, but those powerful hands grip me tighter, interfering with my will.
"Don't," he pleads. "Not yet. I just want to savor this moment a little longer." His cheek rests against my hair causing his breath to skim over my ear and down my neck blazing a trail along my skin.
I not only hear his soft moan, I can feel it vibrate against my spine. Liquid heat pools between my legs and my heart beats so hard I think I will faint. I didn't realize some of those parts were still in working condition! I'm certain there will be bruises on my hips tomorrow. He must have read my mind because I feel his fingers gently caress where only seconds before they held me so firm. I close my eyes and relax against him, resting my head on his shoulder. I don't know where this sudden flicker of impetuous wantonness came from, but I can't summon the strength to fight it.
He moves me with him to the beat of the music pounding around us. I've never danced like this before, never had a chance, and never had anyone show any interest. I am mesmerized as one hand moves to my abdomen while the other drifts up my arm, over my shoulder, gently tugging my hair back off of my neck leaving chill bumps in its wake. He inhales as his nose glides along the top of my shoulder, stopping at the base of my neck to plant the softest of kisses.
My eyes roll back in my head. I swear every bone in my body liquefied in that one moment, leaving me nothing more than a mass of quivering lust. Every drop of blood in my body wants to rip his clothes off and have my way with him right here on the floor, crowd be damned! I've never been a believer in spontaneous combustion before, but he made me a convert.
"Masen," I whisper, embarrassed that I seem to have lost my ability to speak in a normal tone of voice.
"Shhh. I asked you to give me this moment. Patience was never your virtue, but I thought you would've mastered it by now."
I feel his smug smile against my cheek. Damn man! I bite back a retort and humor him with my silence as he lulls me back with his seductive dance.
Eventually the song ends and I reluctantly allow him to step back as I turn to face him. Gazing into those soulful eyes, I am reminded of why I loved this man so much. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. His is the most beautiful soul I've ever known.
A familiar song is playing and I blush, dipping my head and casting my eyes to the floor.
"No need to hide. You always were so damn stunning when you blushed." Placing his finger beneath my chin, he lifts my face until he can look into my eyes again.
"May I have this dance?"
Unable to speak or look away, I nod my head in acquiescence and he pulls me towards him, wrapping one arm around my waist as the other grasps mine, holding it against his chest.
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Oh, god, the memory of those fingers.
Singing my life with his words
killing me softly with his song
Our song.
Killing me softly with his song
So damn softly.
Telling my whole life with his words
killing me softly with his song
He bends his head and murmurs into my ear, "I've missed you."
I can't breathe.
I heard he sang a good song
I heard he had a style
A style that was permanently imprinted on my body.
And so I came to see him
to listen for a while
I would never tire of watching those lips, hearing that voice.
And there he was this young boy
a stranger to my eyes
It had been so long. In his eyes I could see the man in my memories, and yet he had changed so much.
"I've missed you, too."
The emotion is so overwhelming I feel naked, exposed. I raise my hands to his shoulders and clasp them behind his neck, laying my face against his chest.
I felt all flushed with fever
Embarrassed by the crowd
To hell with the damn crowd.
I felt he found my letters
and read each one out loud
It's as though he's always known my most intimate thoughts.
I prayed that he would finish
but he just kept right on
Strumming my pain with his fingers
singing my life with his words
Breathing new life into me.
Killing me softly with his song
killing me softly with his song
telling my whole life with his words
Please, God, let his words tell the story how it should be.
Killing me softly with his song
I close my eyes and give over to the fervency of the moment. I will myself to stop fighting the response my body has to him. I want to just be. With him. Here. Now.
He sang as if he knew me
in all my dark despair
He hums the melody in my ear. My body is on fire.
And then he looked right through me
As if I wasn't there
They got it wrong…he's not looking through me…he can see through me.
And he just kept on singing
singing clear and strong
Strumming my pain with his fingers
singing my life with his words
killing me softly with his song
killing me softly with his song
telling my whole life with his words
killing me softly with his song
I don't even realize that we aren't dancing. Just listening. Feeling. Staring.
"Breathe, Bella."
With his soft words, he gently coaxes me back to reality. Where did all these people come from? I forgot we aren't alone. How the hell does he still have this effect on me?
Taking my hand, he guides me back to my table and pulls out a chair for me. Always the gentleman, he makes sure I am comfortable before he takes a seat in the chair next to mine. Noticing the table is vacant, I glance around trying to find the girls.
Drop It Like It's Hot" blares from center stage. Emmett has made an appearance tonight and is practically molesting Rose on the middle of the dance floor. Not that she's complaining. Jess is sidled up to, or I should say straddled up to, Mike, her BFF with benefits. My guess is that someone let the cat out of the bag about where we would be spending our evening out.
Lauren is getting familiar with a tall, muscular chap with sun kissed skin and spiky, jet black hair and Alice is easy to spot taking up space at the bar, bedazzling her favorite mixologist.
The intensity of the past half hour or so is ebbing, allowing my heart rate to slow. The man of my dreams is sitting next to me! I can barely comprehend that he's real. I reach my hand up and cup the side of his face, my eyes follow my fingers as I drag them along his jaw line and rub the pad of my thumb across his bottom lip. He clears his throat, breaking my trance, and I am distracted by his Adams Apple bobbing as he swallows. Sexy as hell. I want to lick his throat. I feel the heat of my blush as it flashes across my cheeks and travels south.
"Simply delectable, that blush of yours." He smiles against my fingers. I let my hand fall to my lap, cringing on the inside that he still makes me feel like a silly, giddy girl.
"You can stop making fun of me now," I admonish.
"Oh, believe me. I'm not making fun. That blush and I have many wonderful memories together. Many."
I almost kiss the smirk right off of his face. Almost. An infinitesimal thread of common sense reins me in at the last moment before I make a fool of myself.
He glances around before looking back at me and asks, "Would you like to go somewhere more private? Maybe get some coffee? Do you think your friends would mind?"
My head takes over as my heart seems to have taken flight at the implication of being somewhere "private" with him. I'm in pretty bad shape here. "Yes! Sounds great. I'm sure they won't mind at all. Just give me a minute to take care of my tab and I'll be ready to go."
I rush to grab my clutch and dash towards the bar, leaving enough money with Alice to more than cover my expenses and a generous tip for Ang. I briefly explain where I'm going and who I'm with just so she won't be beating on my door at 2 in the morning wondering what the hell happened to me. She giggles. I can't miss the glimmer in her eye and the big assed, all-knowing smile she beams at me. We're gonna have to have a more in depth talk about her "visions" and my "destiny" real soon.