Authors Note: Before I begin with chapter 4 I would just like to say that I have gotten a few PM's that my story is not Sookie like. Please let me explain. I approached this story in an objective manner. My whole point is for Sookie to work out in her mind all the issues that surround her relationship with Eric. I took the point of view that included both sides of each argument. You haven't heard any of Eric's explanations yet which will help convince Sookie on how she actually feels about Eric. What she found out so far was devastating! Next, comes the plan! I am getting to all that. It was initially difficult to find a point that I wanted to start this story. The knife ceremony seemed like a good place. I felt like it raised the most questions and answered even less. Sookie wouldn't be Sookie, unless she questioned Eric's motives.

Some of you are confused by my evaluation of the characters. I really don't see Eric getting down on one knee and pouring his heart out to her. Though, I would love to for that to happen, but I just don't SEE it. As a vampire, that would make him appear weak. Eric is anything but weak. He has to find a way to explain all without showing his softer side to the world. Again, this is my point of view right or wrong really doesn't matter. I also would like to make the point that fanfics that have a happily ever after with Sookie and Eric are wonderful and refreshing. In fact, I read a lot of them, but there are many of those, and I wanted to change it up a bit creating a different relationship. Thank you for reading and I hope you will hang in there to see how all this plays out. :)

All these characters belong to the lovely CH, I just like to borrow them now and again. You really won't get much content from this chapter. It's basically a filler, but I needed to write something to pass the time until Eric's visit. So please don't expect the heavens to open up and all the answers revealed in this chapter because they just aren't. : )

After Eric's dramatic exit, I found that I was too wound up to sleep. I looked over at the clock and it was 3:30am. The three and a half hours that Eric spent at my house felt like an eternity. I was in an emotional overload. The past events of the week had nearly pushed me over the edge.

Stackhouse woman do not faint, but I had. Twice. I shuddered just thinking about the conversation I had with Eric. Anxiety began to build when I realized that tomorrow night will be much of the same. I needed to prepare. I abruptly sat up. Considering the emotional overload, I had a sudden burst of energy. I open the drawer to my nightstand and took out a pen and paper. Gran always said that when you are dealing with something that seems too much to bear, square your shoulders, sit up, turn your head forward and make a list. She always said to know the facts before you pass judgment. So that's what I plan to do. I plan to list every question that I needed answered by Eric. I'm sick of his mind games and half truths. I want cold hard facts.

I decided to start with my concerns about, first of all the knife ceremony, resulting in the sentencing of Quinn's death. For this seemed like the biggest problem on my very full plate at the moment. Eric said that three weeks ago a new arrangement was made between him and the Las Vegas vampires. Within this arrangement, no wereanimals, that were business associated, were allowed to come into the area without permission from Eric. What exactly is this new arrangement and new understanding that Eric has with the Las Vegas vampires? Quinn wasn't here to talk business to me, he was here for personal reasons. Could I have just found myself a loophole? Or is anything with me in mind considered business? Quinn's request was denied, then he sought me out, but it was for a personal reason not business. That definitely is a top priority question to ask Eric. I have to talk to him about what he meant when he said that both of our lives would be in danger if I offered myself to De Castro. Surely if this law is Eric's then he is able to show mercy when he chooses. But, when does a vampire ever show mercy.

I looked at the clock and it was almost 4:30am. I decided that I really needed something hot to drink. Maybe some hot chocolate would help clear my head. I slowly threw the covers off me with much trepidation. I could feel every muscle in my body. I hurt in places that I didn't even know existed. I read once in a book that those who lost an arm were still able to feel it as if it was still there. That's how I felt, though most of the bite marks were healed, I still felt the pain as if they were still there. Eric's blood may have healed the outside of my skin, but he couldn't heal my memory from the pain that was inflicted on my body. I steadied myself on the bed, putting one hand on my nightstand and the other on the bed. I slowly rose to me feet. I laughed to myself. This must be the first time in my life I ever wished for a cane. Taking slow steps forward, I grazed my left hand alongside the bed. I didn't feel as shaky as I did before. Maybe it was the clear way in which my mind was working that enabled me to move forward. I picked up my pen and paper and headed toward the kitchen. I flicked on the light to the living room before I proceeded forward. I held my hand out alone the sofa edge in fear of my balance.

I stepped into the kitchen, and heard a crunch beneath my foot. Ouch! Oh fabulous, I forgot that I broke a glass on the kitchen floor. I put the pen and paper down on the counter so I could grasp it with my hands. I lifted my foot up, and sure enough, a piece of glass cut the side of my foot and blood oozed from the wound. I flicked on the kitchen light, which I should have done before I entered it, and glanced down and the floor. Sure enough pieces of glass were everywhere. There were a few large chunks, but most were pretty small. From where I was standing I was able to reach the hot chocolate mix and a mug. I poured the contents of the package into the mug, filled it with water, and inserted the mug in the microwave. I didn't dare move my other foot for fear of stepping on another piece of glass. The microwave buzzed, I then, took my mug and hobbled over to the sofa. I set the mug down on the coffee table and shuffled over to the bathroom for some first aid supplies. Once I had my tweezers, antiseptic, and a band-aid I hobbled back over to the couch. I examined my foot, glad that I had something new and trivial to occupy my mind for a few minutes. Once I had the glass out, I applied the antiseptic and the band-aid. I looked over to the mess I had made. My kitchen floor was blanketed with tiny pieces of glass, then a trail of blood lead from the kitchen, the couch, then, the bathroom, and finally, back to the couch once again. I cracked a smile when Gran's thoughts entered my mind. She would have scolded me for leaving such a mess and not cleaning it up instantly. I said a pray to her knowing that this one time she would forgive me.

I sipped my hot chocolate and took my list back out. Before I could even glance down I thought of Claudine. The vision I had of her was so real. I even felt the warmth of her body. A sudden thought occurred to me, what if it wasn't her warmth, what if it was Eric's. He was sending waves of calm to me through the bond, what if what I felt was him? Damn that bond! I don't even know what feelings are mine anymore. Claudine said that she would always be there to protect me. Did I imagine it all when my body was under stress or was she really in my mind protecting me? The noise of Eric outside made the vision of her go away that much I was sure of. I guess I will never know what happened, not unless it happens again. Oh, Claudine, I miss you. I need your guidance. I feel so alone. A single tear rolled down my cheek. Gran always said that when you don't know what to do, pray to the Lord for guidance. So that's what I did. I prayed for forgiveness, I prayed for those whom were lost, I prayed for direction, and I prayed for Quinn.

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The next morning I awoke to find myself asleep on the couch. I looked at the clock and realized that it was no longer morning, it was one in the afternoon. At first I couldn't place what brought me to this wakeful state until I heard the knocking on my front door. I yelled to the obnoxious person who was banging that I was on my way. After the words left my mouth I was wondering if that was wise. Even though the Fairy War was over I did not believe that I was no longer in any danger. I slowly got up, realizing that I moved better than I had the previous night, and walked over to answer the door. I looked through the peephole to see a man standing with a huge bouquet of flowers. Huh! I opened the door, positioning myself behind it because I was still in my pajamas.

The man said, "Delivery for a Ms. Stackhouse." The flowers were so large the man had to stand sideways to speak to me.

"Please come in and place them on the table. I would take them myself, but I was in a bad accident and I don't want to drop them." The man gave me the most sympathetic look, and ushered himself into my home. He placed the flowers onto the table, asked me to sign, then he was on his way. Without even looking at the card I knew they were from Eric. Smack in the center of the arrangement was a rather large red blossomed flower that looked very obscene. He had sent me the same type of arrangement when I was in the hospital before. Though, this bouquet was three times the size. The rest of the flowers were white lilies and red roses. I sighed again pulling out the card from the holder. It read:

My Dearest Sookie,

We have much to discuss tonight, but unfortunately I am unable to come to you. Please come to see me. I will be sending a car for you at 8:00pm.

Love,

E~

I sighed again. I guess by going to Fantasia it kept Eric from coming to my home, and possibly out of my bed. At least, on the upside he didn't call me Lover. Maybe he did learn something after last nights discussion. I decided that maybe it was time to venture out of the house. I resolved that the best way to start the day would be a nice hot shower. I needed to get the flowers out of my sight. They were leading me down a road that would forgive Eric, and I wasn't ready to forgive yet. We had to come to an understand on a few things before I was even going to think about any kind of relationship with him. Did I just say relationship, is Eric really capable of that?

The hot water felt nice, in fact, it felt wonderful. It soothed my aching muscles and briefly melted away my anxiety. I stepped out of the shower and dried off. I noticed that I really did feel much better. My body moved more fluidly then it had in the past few days. I walked into my bedroom and carefully selected a low ride loose pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt. I wanted to give myself room to breathe and cover as many of the bruises and bite that remained. Though, not many were left because of Eric's blood, I was still self conscience of them. After I finished dressing and applied a little makeup the door bell rand again. Who the heck can that be? I wasn't expecting anyone.

I looked through the peephole of the front door and it was another delivery man. Good night, will he ever stop! I opened the door and gave the man my nervous smile. He exclaimed that he had a delivery for Ms, Stackhouse. I rolled my eyes, and asked him if he could put it on the table along with the earlier delivery. I again, signed for my items. The first item was in a carefully wrapped box. The paper was metallic gold and decorated by a leather cord that weaved around the box. The packaging was so beautiful, I didn't want to open it. A small envelop sat on top. I pulled out the card and it read:

Dear Heart,

I hope that I am on my way to being within your good graces once again. Please do me this honor and accept this gift and wear it tonight for me.

E~

I looked at the stunning gold box that was taunting and pleading with me to open it. I carefully unwound the cord, and with great care removed the wrapping paper. It was so beautiful that I folded it nice and neat in the hopes of using it again. Beneath the paper was a rectangular white box. I drew a deep breath in and removed the lit. It was a satin black floor length dress with a plunging neck line. The dress hugged my curves until it reached about the knee, then in flared out. Underneath the dress were black satin sandals with a two inch heel. I realized that I was still holding my breath, and released a noisy sigh out of my mouth. Next to this, the delivery man had dropped off a box of chocolates, and not just any chocolates, they were gourmet truffles. First, flowers, then a dress with shoes to match, and finally candy. He really knew how to win his way into a girls heart. Stop that, Sookie. He has a lot of explaining to do before he is forgiven. I mean, he needs to explain himself before I can think of forgiving him. Keep telling yourself that Sookie! Looking for a much needed distraction, I looked over into the kitchen. I realized that I had not cleaned up the glass or the blood from the night before. I decided first, that I would hang up the dress in my closet, then work on cleaning. I meticulous swept and washed my mess from the prior night. It worked as a distraction for all of about thirty minutes. Then, my mind was back to Eric. I looked at the clock and it was only 2:30. I still had another five and a half hours before Eric picked me up. Sookie, your life does not revolve around the vampire. Get a grip! Shouting at myself only seemed to work for a little while and then my thoughts would return back to him. I needed another distraction. I thought that I would get out of the house and go down to Merlotte's to see Sam. I hadn't seen him since the Fairy War, and I had to tell him that I needed at least another week off.

I pulled into the Merlotte's parking lot and decided to go through the employees' entrance. Only about four cars were there. The lunch crowd would be gone by now, so I figured that I would just sneak in the back and wait for Sam to have a free minute. Sam's office door was shut so I lightly tapped on it to let him know of my presence. Sam mumbled to come in. He was looking down at his paperwork mulling over the books. Something I had a whole lot more respect for after running the bar for a few days in Sam's absence. He looked up from his paperwork and I could tell that he was startled to see me.

"Hi, Sam. I was feeling much better so I decided to get out of the house. I really needed to talk to you and I was pretty hungry. So I decided to come down to see you." I don't know why I felt nervous, but I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. So many of my relationships had changed within the past week, I guess I was afraid to loose Sam's friendship as well.

He gave me a very warm smile that put to rest all of my fears and said, "Nice to see you cher. Why don't you grab a table and we can both sit down and have something to eat. Unless you need to speak in private, then we can talk first, then eat."

"Talking over food would be great. I'll go and get a booth and you can join me when your ready. I flashed him a genuine smile and turned on my heels and walked into the dining area. Holly was the waitress on duty and she flashed me a smile as soon as she saw me. I slipped into a booth and she came over.

"I'm a paying customer today, Holly. Sam will be joining me in a few minutes."

"Can I get you anything to drink while you wait for him?" I was pretty thirsty so I ordered a ginger ale. I was glad that many were not in the bar. It's hard for me to keep my mental shields up when I have other things on my mind, like being tortured, bit, and Eric floating on my brain. I saw Sam walk out of his office with his eyes on the ground. He slipped into the seat opposite me and glanced up to meet my eyes. Immediately I knew that all was not well. He quickly tried to hide it though, smiling at me, but it didn't touch his eyes. I leaned over and laid my hand on top of his. I was about to say something to him when Holly returned to take our order.

Sam cleared his throat and removed his hand out from under mine, ordering a Lafayette Burger with fries. I ordered the same.

After Holly left, I looked back at Sam and asked, " Sam I've known you for a long time and I know when something is bothering you. Please tell me what it is." He smiled again at me, but for a second time, it did not touch his eyes.

"Sookie, nothing is wrong. I'm so glad that you are healing. What have you come to talk to me about." It did not escape me that Sam avoided my question and asked one of his own. When Sam is ready to talk to me I know he will, I just have to wait until the time is right.

"I know I have taken so much time from work, but Sam, I need at least another week. I can call around for my replacement if you would like. It's really important for me to take the time. I promise after that, I won't ask for any more time for quite awhile." I didn't really want to burden him with what was going on in my life. He has enough of his own problems and he doesn't need to think about mine as well.

"Sook, what's this about? It seems that you are recovering from your injuries quite well, why do you need additional time?" I could see the concern and a hint of anger in his eyes.

"Sam, I just have something really important that I need to do. It will be settled in a weeks time and until then, I need off." I tried to convince him with my words, but I know he saw through me.

Anger flashed in his eyes and he said, "Does this have anything to do with Eric?"

"Is it any of your business if it does?" I didn't want to give anything away, but through my fury at his assumption I already had.

His voice calmed and he exclaimed, "Cher, I just don't want you getting hurt. I'm concerned for your wellbeing. If anything ever happened to you I don't know…" He took his hand and placed it over mine on top of the table. I saw the tenderness in his eyes and felt a little uncomfortable with his touch. I casually pulled my hand away and said, "Hey, don't worry about me, it's really nothing. I just need some time." I softened my eyes and smiled so he could see that I meant it. Through his thoughts though, I could feel his doubt, but he reluctantly agreed. We finished out lunch conversing in idle chitchat. It was 4:30 when I pulled out of Merlotte's parking lot and headed home. I still have three and a half hours before my vampire showed up. I needed to find a much needed distraction until then.

Below I included Sookie's checklist that she made. Sookie's checklist: (This is also my working question list that I am using to compile this story)

Questions for Eric:

About Quinn:

Were you able to secure a meeting with Felipe De Castro regarding him?

Have you thought up any other options for Quinn's situation?

What did you mean when you said that it would endanger your life if I offered my services in exchange for Quinn's?

What did Victor mean when he said that he would take Quinn's request off the table? What was he requesting?

Victor mentioned that you were a new associate, what does that mean?

Why was Quinn part of the negotiations in the first place?

About Eric:

Where were you when I was calling to you through the bond to rescue me?

Where was Pam during the Fairy War?

What did you mean when you said that I was killing you?

Will having an excessive amount of your blood in my body have any lasting effects? Am I in any danger of being turned?

What did Pam mean when she said that you will live on through me?

Are there any repercussions (word of the day) for the death of Clancy?

How is Bill's condition, is he recovering?

How you ever manipulated me through the bond in order for me to do something you wanted me to do?

How can I trust my feelings when I'm not even sure they are mine to begin with?

Why would you need to shut down the bond and mask your scent to search the woods outside my home?

How does our "marriage" effect other supes who are my friends, like Alcide whom I/You have business dealings with, does he need permission to speak with me too? What about my other supe friends?

PS: I haven't actually decided if I'm going to save Quinn or not. I have a pro and con list going with consequences for both. Let me know what you all think about this issue when you review. Thank you!