Disclaimer: Once again the characters Bobby Goren, Alex Eames and Lewis in this story are not mine They are Dick Wolfs masterful brainchildren. Without whom this story would not be possible. I am writing this for entertainment purposes only and I am not making any profit from it. This story is NOT accepted canon for the show. This chapters rating is K because it does contain some infered descriptions of abuse between father and daughter. The entire recollection will not come out though until Bobby actually sits and tells Alex later on. If this sort of thing truly bothers you than I suggest that you do not continue reading. Sorry this chapter is so short but I wanted to get something out to you guys today. Lori

Sister

by

LorMes or LAM

Chapter 4

The Ghost in his dreams

Bobby had moved at some point during the night from where he was on the couch to his bed. In the course of doing that he had found his way to the bathroom and managed to get out of his clothes. Clad only in his underwear and black t-shirt, he found his way over to his bedroom climbed into his bed and drifted back to sleep.

Sleep for Bobby had not come easily over the last few days. He found that he was getting at most about 3 to 4 hours a night. He attributed that to the fact that his sister had been gone for 37 years and the anniversary was coming up. Well, he had taken care of things and was hoping that tonight would yeild him the sleep he needed.

It didnt.

Once he had fallen back asleep, he found himself in complete darkness. And his surroundings were not familiar to him. There was a chill in the air and he kept asking himself where he was. He began to walk in the darkness and with each step he heard faint cries. They would start out softly and then build up until they were so loud they seemed to surround him and then they would whip around him and get softer again.

He heard them again and he found that his heart began to race. He tried to follow the cries but each time he thought he was getting closer to them, they got softer and moved away from him. Then he heard her voice.

" Please daddy, Ill be good...please..."

" Angel ? " Bobby said quietly. " Angel ? Is that you ? "

In the darkness, seemingly miles away, there seemed to be a light glowing from under a door.

Bobby sensed that he shouldnt go to it but he was drawn to it.

A monstorous deep voice spoke " Lay still now. your mommy isnt here so you have to take her place. "

" Please daddy...its hurting. pleas..."

Bobby heard a slap and more cries. Then it got silent. and he could hear the deep monstorous voice. It sounded almost pleasant. Bobby got to where the light was coming through the door and he knew, he shouldnt open it, but he knew Angel was in there.

He reached out slowly and began to turn the door knob. The door opened up a bit and creaked. He looked in and what he saw made him scream.

" NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! " His body was covered in sweat and he was shaking and crying. He said it again This time more quietly " No...No, no, no..." He brought both of his hands up to his face which was now full of his running tears. The sheets on the bed were drenched in his sweat and he knew he wouldnt be going back to sleep anytime soon. He moved over to the edge of the bed and sat with his feet on the floor. He had his elbows forward on his upper thighs and his face was cupped in his hands. " Oh my God Angel...my Angel...Im so sorry, please forgive me. " He repeated that for what seemed forever. Then he got up and paced across his bedroom floor. His saddness was being replaced quickly by anger. Anger at what he knew was the truth. Anger at his memories. He was angry at his sudden understanding . He knew for 39 years what had happened, but knowing and understanding, were two different things. His father had sexually molested, beaten and raped his sister. Repeatedly. For two years of her life. And why ? Because his mother got sick and was put away ? Angel had to take her place ? What the hell was that all about ?

He would change the sheets later. Bobby Goren got up off of his bed, grabbed another blanket from his closet and moved into the living room. He did not go to sleep that night. He cried.

That morning, Bobby got up and showered. He let almost scalding hot water wash down his body. He couldnt get enough of it. He wanted to wash his memories away. He wanted to get rid of the ghost that has haunted him for his whole life. After almost a half an hour , he shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. He got dressed as usual for work. and went into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He finished that and went back into his bedroom. He took the sheets off of the bed and placed them into the hamper and put clean linens on. Then he left to head on over to 1PP.

Bobby was always there about a half an hour before his partner, and he always brought her a coffee and a cheese danish. He placed the coffee and danish on her desk as usual and went over to his desk. He opened his portfolio and started to reveiw their latest case. Captain Ross appeared next off of the elevator and came over to Bobbys desk

" Good morning detective. " he said

" Morning captain. "

" I hope youre feeling better. " Ross said

" I am. " Bobby said as he nodded his head.

He lied.

" Your partner here yet ? " Ross asked.

" Ah No sir she isnt. " Bobby answered.

" Well, when she gets here, you two should come into my office. "

" Anything wrong sir ? " Bobby asked

" No, just want an update thats all. " he said

Bobby nodded and watched as Ross went into his office and shut the door.

About twenty or so minutes later Alex got off of the elevator.

Bobby looked over to her and smiled. She smiled back. He loved her smile. It could heal the most greivous injuries.

" Hey Bobby. Hope youre feeling better. "

He lied once again, hoping against all hope that Alex wouldnt see through it.

Alex was smarter than that. She knew he lied. But sheld ask him about that later on.

She saw the danish and coffee on her desk and thanked him.

" Ah, we gotta go and see Ross. I guess he wants an update. " he said

" Okay, But I think I should update you first ...dont you think ? "

He smiled ..." Yeah, I guess that would be nice. This way, I dont look stupid in there. "

After she updated him on their latest case, then they went in to see Ross. Whatever they said made him happy and they left his office. As the day went on, Alex noticd that Bobby seemed to be a bit distant, almost in a fog.

The day came to a close as the two detectives found themselves at 1PP doing paperwork. Bobby had been unusually quiet that day and it bothered her. So, she had determined that she was going to get to the bottom of it, especially when he didnt refuse to do her paperwork for the day in order to make up for not being there the day before.

Bobby hated paperwork.

So as the day came to a close, she asked him if he wanted to go out for some chinese.

He told her no because he had to do her paperwork.

She laughed and told him, " Not today. Come on Bobby , lets go. "

He reluctantly yeilded to her and they both left 1PP to go and get their chinese.

When they got there, they both placed their orders and then Bobby asked her if they could get it to go. " Im not really in the mood to eat here." he said

" Okay, Then where...your place or mine? " she asked him.

" I guess mine..." he said

" Good..." she said then added " Then you can tell me the real reason why you were out yesterday."

Bobby looked at her.

She had seen right through his lie.

He was in for another long night.