WARNING: This chapter includes yaoi. If you don't like it, I understand. You can skip this chapter or read something else. However, you have been warned so your right to whine or complain has been taken away.

SasuNaru

In an undisclosed location,

In a pure white room,

On the couch, again,

Hitomi lay senseless with some drool leaking out of her mouth. The TV was off but she was staring at it. This was all the tutus fault. She had gotten to do what others had only dreamed about. She had gone back to the past and she came back the same day she left. She was relatively unharmed. But none of that mattered.

The tutu had been too late. She had returned just in time to see SpongeBob's end credits scroll across the screen. She had missed the marathon she had waited weeks for. How could she face her fellow fans when they talked about the joy of watching it and knowing that she had missed it? Plus, if they found out she would be humiliated. Her life was officially over. She was in hell.

To top it off the devil, who just loved torturing her, just walked in. "That's enough already. No more sulking. We have a client I want you to meet."

Hitomi glared defiantly at the devil. "No."

The devil glared back. Then she reached for the cord around her neck and brought a bright red whistle to her lips. "Last chance." Hitomi tried to create eye beams out of her glare to melt the cursed whistle. The whistle shrieked. Ten burly men dashed into the room. They were dressed almost completely in black but they had white blank masks. There were no differences between them that she Hitomi could see. "Clean her up boys. Just make sure she isn't any more senseless when you're done." The devil pointed to Hitomi and the men rushed her.

One of the men threw a bucket of cold water on her while the rest pulled brushes, combs, mirrors, and compacts out of nowhere. Then Hitomi's torture began. They tugged Hitomi's hair and scrapped her face clean. Then they covered it with irritating makeup. Only when they were satisfied did they let her escape the fashion tornado.

Hitomi babbled senselessly before spitting out, "I- I thought they were security." The devil nodded with a smirk on her face. "So what was that?"

The devil was still spinning the whistle, ready to call them back. "They're so talented. I would call them the best but then I'd probably have to pay them more. Now come on our client has been waiting very patiently." Hitomis eyebrow twitched.

Hitomi was pushed and shoved, fighting all the way, into another room. This one was completely blue. Granted there were different shades of blue but it was still all blue. She was forced into a swivel chair. She hissed in pain, her legs hurt from towel burn. She was going to kill the man that had dried her using so much speed and force.

"Miss Y, this is the operative I told you about, Hitomi. She just returned from a difficult mission. So I hope you can forgive her for being so late." Said operative inspected the mysterious Miss Y. She was wearing a long dark brown trench coat that reached up to her nose and down to her toes. Her blonde hair was messily tucked into a matching hat. The disguise was… Well let's just say Hitomi had seen better, much better.

Like the time she was deep into enemy territory searching for a dinosaur femur that had been stolen from a museum right before they were going to do a showcase on this dino's skeleton. She had stopped at a bathhouse to try and eavesdrop on the suspects only to discover that an enemy ninja had been disguised as a very cute sparkly pink rubber ducky. This led into a deadly battle where Hitomi had to fight both the ninja and the force of gravity to keep her towel up and stay alive.

The devil shook Hitomi out of memory. "Hitomi this is Miss Y. She would like our assistance with getting some information on someone." Information, code for blackmail. Hitomi felt a smirk creep onto her face.

"I'd be happy to help." After they discussed the basics; who, where, yada yada, and the form of payment, Hitomi was free to start.

Currently, she had spotted her target and was stalking, that is to say following, him everywhere. Nothing interesting had happened yet.

He slept in (lucky), ate an unhealthy breakfast (lucky), and went out to talk to anyone and everyone he came across (weird). It was nearly impossible to lose him so Hitomi let her thoughts drift.

I deserve some kind of payback for missing the marathon. Should I demand something from her? No I already get free food. If I push it she could lock me in a closet, refuse to feed me, and make me do all the house work. But one day a letter would arrive by owl and it would tell me I'm a witch and I've been accepted to Hogwarts. Hitomi shook her head, wrong series. I'll just dye her hair pink or something.

Since the roof tiles were starting to dig into her ribs Hitomi shifted and looked back at the street. Nowhere to be seen, she thought lazily. She stiffened and shot up. She lost him. How could she lose him? How was she going to explain this? 'I know he was so easy to find and I tracked him for hours. But then I got to thinking about pink hair and wizards.' She was going to die.

Her eyes darted around the streets so fast it blurred into a senseless mess. She was getting dizzy and starting to sway when her eyes found him. Heading towards the forest at the edge of the village, was a bright flash of orange.

Hitomi sighed and grinned. "B-I-N-G-O." However she was going to lose him if she didn't act fast. She needed to be able to fly over these roof tops but that was impossible. So she decided on the next best thing. In moments an adorable little flying squirrel was sitting at her feet.

She gently cradled it in her hands and softly whispered to it, "See that guy follow him. I'll catch up." She smiled at its big eyes and fuzzy face. Then she moved the squirrel so it was only in one of her hands and coked her arm back. She brought one foot up and slammed it down while bringing her arm forward. The squirrel's eyes bulged as it realized it was flying towards a tree at top speed. It happened so fast it couldn't be avoided.

Hitomi gaped for a second. "Who taught these flying squirrels how to fly?" She cupped her hand around her mouth and shouted encouragingly, "Come on get up! That's right what a trooper you are!" Hitomi raced to catch up.

It turns out squirrels aren't good trackers, but Hitomi managed. After a few minutes of searching she spotted the targets jacket hanging off a tree branch. It looked like he had just hung it up.

Hitomi pondered this for a few moments. Maybe he was hiding it. Not that it was a good hiding spot but he wasn't the brightest light bulb. Then again, why would he even want to hide his jacket? She gasped. Could it be? Was it even possible? He wouldn't… but maybe. No. Yes it's the only possible explanation. That so called sage really got to him. He was streaking.

She immediately started scanning for his chakra. She needed to find him. She had to verify her suspicion. She slipped out her camera and got it ready. Pictures would be the best kind of proof.

After a few minutes of intense scanning for his chakra she found him but he wasn't alone.

She could see light piercing through the trees. There had to be some sort of clearing ahead. That could mean he was fighting but she didn't think that was the case. This was going to be dangerous. She had to hide herself. She couldn't face off against either one of the clearings occupants. Not because she wasn't strong enough but she wouldn't be able to even scratch them. To mar either of their faces would be some sort of great crime to all of womanhood, and honestly a portion of manhood.

She dug through her pockets for a tool to help her. Nothing. This wouldn't be a problem if 'my boss' wasn't such a cheap scape, she thought. Oh well, might as well risk my life for a few pictures. Journalists do it every day and they don't have any super cool ninja tricks. But if they did, she had to stifle her laughter, and the stars think the paparazzi is bad now. No one would be able to escape them. I guess that's why 'ninja' is a career available only in a hidden village. Anyway, I guess I have to choice. She inched closer and stuck her camera lens through the brush. She would have to look through it but that guaranteed better pictures without being detected. She could only hope it wouldn't get damaged.

What she saw almost made her drop the camera.

Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke were both incredibly strong and handsome, or whichever other word you'd prefer. They both had played their part in the most dramatic and emotional moments of the whole series. They had hundreds, actually more like millions, of fans worldwide and those fans would fight anyone to the death for their idol. Obviously, they weren't interested in any of those fans.

Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke were sitting on a mossy log with their hands in each others shirts. Their lips were meeting with an almost desperate urgency as they tried to kiss the other senseless.

Hitomi would have never have guessed that they… Well to be perfectly honest she might have believed it about Sasuke; it was the whole emotionless thing he did, he never seemed really interested in anything but his brother. That sounded so wrong. But really, who would have thought it about Naruto? He had this huge crush on Sakura for years. Maybe another ninja would have faked it but not Naruto. He didn't seem capable of tricking anyone for any amount of time and even if he could why would he? It didn't make sense.

But was this a bad thing? Kissing is always nice even if you weren't the one doing it. That's why people gush over movie kisses, right? Plus, one hot guy is great, two hot guys is fantastic, so logically two hot guys kissing is out of this world.

Sasuke and Naruto complement each other too. One was dark and the other was light. What fangirl could be mad at this? Really, it's not like they could really be paired with everyone, though that would be a huge harem and harems aren't always bad. So the best thing is that they end up with each other.

Wait. Am I turning into a yaoi fangirl? Is that a bad thing? Hitomi peaked through the camera. It didn't look like a bad thing.

Finally when blood started to trickle to her lips Hitomi started to snap some pictures.

Both her creator and Miss Y stared at the pictures senselessly. Was it so supervising that they had the hots for each other? The way those two fought you would think someone would at least be a little suspicious.

"Well I… I believe this should be good enough for you Miss Y," the boss mumbled.

"Oh yeah, I just never…knew. It's really surprising." Miss Y didn't look like she was handling the new very well. She seemed really disappointed and a little heartbroken.

"You must have the worst gay-o-meter out of all the girls, Miss Y," Hitomi stated matter of factly, "Really, first Sasuke and then Sai. And don't even try to say you expected this out of Naruto. At this rate you'll only ever fall for gay guys and then you'll end up all alone for the rest of your life with only cats to keep you company."

The room grew darker and flames licked around Miss Y's feet. The longer Hitomi carried on the darker the room grew and the hotter the flames became. Hitomi's creator displayed a rare case of I-can't-let-her-die-I-created-her-ness and tried to warn her but she ignored her.

Miss Y had had enough. "What did you say?" she hissed sinisterly. Hitomi realized that she had made a huge mistake just in time for her to eyes to go big and her face to pale before Miss Y knocked her senseless with a very strong left hook.

Hitomi jolted awake when she hit the floor. Her head was spinning a bit but she still glanced around the room. No one else was in it and the only light came from the TV. The door opened slowly.

"Hey," Hitomi's creator said looking down at her creation, which was still sprawled across the floor. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Hmm… Oh, oh yeah. But my head really hurts, thanks for that." Hitomi wasn't very pleased that her creator had just stood there and let a customer beat her up without doing anything just because she was a customer. You would think that she would at least feel a little loyalty to her. But no, that would affect their income and that was unthinkable.

"Alright I should have tested the tutu out a bit more but I had no idea that it would do this to you."

Hitomi stared up at her for several moments. This was senseless. Her creator wasn't… she didn't… "What do you mean?"

"Oh crap. The tutu, you know the one you used to go back in time, it really drained your strength. I'm going to work on it a bit more but that doesn't mean we're giving up." Her creator clenched her fist and marched to her room.

Hitomi stumbled onto the couch holding her head. The tutu knocked her out? So all that…never happened. She never saw Ino dressed in the worlds most obviously crappy disguise. She didn't have majorly hot sasunaru pictures that any yaoi fan would kill for. Naruto and Sasuke might not even be gay for each other as far as she knew. It was all just a messed up dream.

"Oh Hitomi," her creator had stopped at the door way and was looking back at her.

"Yeah."

"Please don't upset our customers. They're mostly fans and ninjas and all of them are dangerous."

Hitomi stared at the door. Why had her creator said that? It was so random. Unless…

The twilight zone theme song started to play in her head.

AN: I don't own Naruto, Harry Potter, or SpongeBob, I don't even like SpongeBob.

*This chapter was requested by 1hellyeahz1. I hope you liked it and won't yell at me for putting your name down. I can take it off if it's not okay.

*This chapter's word was SENSELESS: (adj) 1 destitute or deprived of sensation; unconscious. 2. lacking mental perception, appreciation, or comprehension. 3. stupid or foolish, as persons or actions. 4. nonsensical or meaningless, as words.

*The following is the original ending. Tell me what you think.

"I'm blaming this on that episode."

Miss Y looked at her, "Episode?" Hitomi and her creator looked at each other with oh-crap-what are-we-going-to-do expressions. They came up with the same and only possible solution. They had to lie, lie, lie, and then lie some more.

"You know how the day of your final exam some kid knocked them into… each other? Well I had a friend who saw that and she freaked out completely."

"It started some kind of disorder," Hitomi chimed in. She put her hand over her heart, looked down, and shook her head. "It's tragic really."

"Since then it's happened again. In fact, it's happened so often we just started calling them all episodes. It helps us keep things straight. Plus, it's not as embarrassing for her."

"I've heard it's a pretty common condition."

"Yes, but please don't tell anyone we told you." Both girls focused their most powerful puppy dog eyes at Miss Y.

"What does that have to do with these?" She gestured to the pictures.

"It's a private joke." Hitomi spout out.

"A bad one, my apologies." Her creator said with her arms in a half pleading half shrugging position. Without any proof they were lying Miss Y could only smile, with narrowed eyes, and leave, after paying of course. Even after she was several miles down the road both girls kept waving at her retreating figure.

"Condition? And to think you can me the senseless one." Hitomi huffed

"At least I actually came up with something. I mean what was that? 'It's tragic really,'" She mocked. "What do you think this is, one of those old black and white detective shows?"

"What?"

"Never mind." She slid the papers into their proper file.

*The "condition" that was referred to is what I imagine both yaoi fans and haters go through but for different reasons, obviously.