Hi peeps. I'm listening to the cab at the minute, angel with a shotgun. Great song.

Anyway, thx to you heroes who have reviewed, and to angels who a have faved and followed. Love you all! ;) *send virtual cookies*

anyway, here we have another chapter. Please let me know how I'm doing with this!

Arthur made his way to the stables, where Merlin and the knights were waiting. They were all there. Gwaine was eyeing Merlin, who was gazing into nothingness. He looked lost and small. Gwaine went over to Merlin, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"What's up, mate?" he asked softly. Merlin looked up suddenly, and shrugged Gwaine away.

"Nothing," he snapped. Gwaine looked surprised for a second, before just watching the boy.

The royal cleared his throat. "Right, then. Let's go," he announced. They all mounted and trotted off towards the forest.

As the horses went through the gates, Merlin wiped away tears. Arthur knew he hated hunting, but he didn't care did he? Merlin didn't tell him why. He'd get picked on; the truth was he didn't like watching innocent animals being killed. And that made no sense at all, because Merlin had killed a good few people. Maybe they had had families. Maybe their children would be looking for their daddy, but he, Merlin, had killed him? He was a murderer. He had killed men in cold blood. And what good was it for? Protecting a man who had hurt him? Both physically and mentally? But he was the king, the good. Even though he killed innocent animals...

Arthur watched Merlin. He was obviously having an inner battle. The shadows highlighting his eyes were even more pronounced. As soon as they had passed a good few trees, Arthur slowed his horse to a walk next to Merlin.

"Merlin?"

He looked away.

"Merlin, you are being...distant. Are you ill? Gaius said you're not eating or sleeping. You need to eat and sleep Merlin, you need to talk to us."

"I don't need to do anything. I have to collect herbs for Gaius," he mumbled. Arthur saw this was a lost cause.

After they had hunted a deer and three rabbits, they set up camp. Merlin started the fire, and made a stew quickly. Then he started to collect the herbs.

Percival and Leon looked at each other, before standing up. They stepped forward, and looked over Merlin's shoulder to see what he was collecting - they were little yellow flowers with a black stem. They immediately started to collect some, and Merlin, after a few moments, stopped, and looked up, confused. "What...what are you doing?"

"Helping you. You look ill, Merlin. You do too much," Percival explained simply. A darkness that had been lingering in Merlin's eyes vanished for a second, but that second was cut short.

Arthur had his feet up, and noticing the darkness go, started to joke. "Helping Merlin pick his flowers, are you?" he teased. Merlin immediately looked away, the shadow returned. Leon glared at his king disdainfully, before shaking his head. Gwaine frowned at the blonde.

"He does it with good reason, Arthur. Maybe you fail to see that. Leave him alone," he warned.

Arthur already knew that he was wrong. "Sorry...is...is the stew ready?" he uttered hastily.

Merlin rushed over, mumbling an apology. He dished out the food, and Arthur noticed, as Merlin handed it to the knights, that there was only five plates.

"Where's yours, Merlin?" he questioned. Merlin shrugged. He still didn't look up, and began to fiddle with a leaf.

There was a silence, before Gwaine said cheerfully, "Merlin, this is really good!"

"Yeah, it's nice..."

"You're really good at cooking..."

"Did your mother teach you?"

Arthur realised with an inner groan that that was the wrong thing to say, as Merlin just looked away, obviously hurt. He got looks from all of the company. He was sorry, but something in him wouldn't allow his lips to form the word.

"Let's go," announced Gwaine, standing up. He began to collect the pots, Merlin alongside him. When everything was cleared away, the horses were mounted.

Merlin was on the verge of tears. I knew it I knew it I knew it...Arthur just didn't appreciate everything he did. To Arthur he was a coward, to Arthur he was such a girl, picking flowers and cooking. He was just...so upset. So hurt. Nothing was ever going to change. He wanted to scream, to shout, to let Arthur know. But he didn't. Nearly a decade, and no thanks. No appreciation. Just an empty cavern in his heart.

He dismounted his horse the second they got back to the stables. He ignored the calls of the knights and half ran back to Gaius' chambers.

When inside, he slammed the herbs on the table, rushed into his bedroom, slammed the door, lay on his bed and sobbed his heart out.

Gaius heard his surrogate son, and it hurt. But he didn't know what to do. He had no children. So he allowed Merlin his time alone.

But Merlin wanted Gaius. He wanted his father. But his daddy was dead, had died in his arms. Never had he felt so alone. He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

Why him?

Morgana laughed. Finally. It was happening. It would be a matter of days before the climax reached its peak. She was breaking Merlin. Soon he would break. Then, he would snap Arthur.

Finally, it was happening.

Bad Morgana. Poor Merlin. Now I'm listening to The Gift of a Friend by Demi Lovato. You know, this so is Arthur Merlin bromance. It's a great song.

See yaz, peeps! Review!

BToA xxxx