Control
Chapter Four: Broken
"Paul where is your orange juice?" A male voice was asking from far away pulling me out of my sleep. Paul was curled around me; nose buried in my hair and hand still resting possessively on my stomach. "Paul?" the voice asked this time closer. Was I dreaming? I shook my head slightly and Paul lifted his head off of my hair.
"What the hell?" He asked in a rough voice not releasing his grip on me.
"Oh shit sorry!" The voice said from the doorway and I heard footsteps scurrying back into the kitchen.
"Seth," Paul rumbled in my ear shifting the hand on my belly up to cup my breast. I swatted at him and he released me with a laugh. "Serves him right. He should have known when he saw our clothes scattered on the floor." I tumbled from the bed and searched the nearby dresser for a shirt then tugging it over my head and noting with satisfaction that it fell to my knees.
"Ass," I muttered as I padded barefoot to the kitchen. Seth was sitting at the table clutching a glass of orange juice.
"I found it," he said avoiding my gaze. I sighed and opened the fridge.
"How does an egg sandwich sound?" I asked grasping a carton of eggs and pulling them out of the fridge. I heard the shower go on as I whipped the eggs and dumped them into a heated frying pan. By the time Paul came out, clad in only boxers, Seth was happily finishing his third sandwich.
"And that is why you should knock," Paul teased Seth before coming up behind me at the stove. "Can I please have a sandwich?" He asked directly into my ear as his hands grasped my hips.
"How many?" I managed to choke out. His tongue touched my earlobe.
"As many as you would like to make for me kitten," he said releasing me to open the fridge. I felt Seth's eyes on us during the exchange but he didn't comment. A few minutes later I set a couple of sandwiches in front of him on the table. I was just about to take a bite of my apple when Seth jumped out of his chair.
"Holy shit what happened to your neck?" He asked in a panic. My neck? Paul stood at once and ran his fingers lightly down the right side of my neck. It wasn't until his fingers touched it that I realized how tender the skin was there. A flash of heat went through me as I remembered the feel of Paul inside of me still as his teeth sank into my neck the night before.
"I am so fucked," he whispered stepping away from me. Seth looked dumbfounded.
"Is that what I think it is?" Seth demanded. When Paul nodded slowly Seth let out a low whistle.
"Sam is going to kill you," he said.
Sam's hands were almost clinical as they probed the bite mark on my neck. Paul stood in the corner, arms crossed, leaning heavily against the wall.
"Does it hurt?" Sam asked. Emily's eyes met mine across the room. I shook my head.
"It's just a little tender," I said.
"A little ibuprofen should help that," Emily said standing and motioning for me to follow her. I followed her to the kitchen and she let out the breath she had been holding. "Sam is going to kill Paul," she muttered pressing a small bottle into my hands.
"Seriously is someone going to tell me what is going on?" I asked swallowing the small brown pills with some water.
"I'm not entirely sure it's my place to say," she said hesitantly.
"Fine," I snapped and walked back into the dining room. "Someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on here," I said glaring pointedly at Paul.
"Tell her what you have done," Sam ordered him. Paul shook his head and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.
"You tell me then," I said leaning against the counter.
"That mark on your neck, where he bit you, is how our kind marks their mates," he said.
"Mates…" I said slowly. "But I am not…" my voice trailed off as Sam nodded.
"That day when you confronted us out by Jacob's house…Paul imprinted on you," he said. And the world fell away. I felt the hard tile bite into my knees as I hit the floor and the feel of it striking my temple before everything went black.
"Where am I?" I asked thickly as bright lights filled my vision.
"Hold still you're in the emergency room," came Emily's voice.
"She has a mild concussion but she should be fine," a doctor's voice said. "We'll keep her here overnight but she should be good to go by morning."
"Thank you doctor," I heard Sam say.
"Paul," I managed to squeeze out. I felt a warm hand squeeze mine.
"Go to sleep kitten," he whispered. "I'll be here." I don't know how long I slept but when I woke up his hand was still in mine.
"Water," I said softly and he pressed a cup into my hand. I struggled to sit up and then drank the entire cup of water.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I wanted to tell you a thousand times but you were so hurt…so…" his voice trailed off as he struggled to find the words.
"Broken," I supplied and he nodded.
"And then you came to me and you asked me, begged me, to sleep with you and I couldn't…I couldn't say no," he said. "And I thought that would be the end of it. I thought that I could stay away. But I can't…I couldn't," he said. I chose my words carefully, knowing they would hurt, but not wanting him to break.
"And you need to know that I can't…I won't be what you need from me. I can't risk my heart like that again," I said. "I won't risk it again," I whispered. His hand fell from mine and I watched as a wall came up in front of them.
"I'll send Emily in," he said in a cold hard voice I didn't recognize.
"You really fucked up this time," Leah greeted me as she pushed past Emily into the hospital room.
"Hi Leah how are you?" I asked sarcastically struggling to sit up. My head swam and I tried to see straight.
"I'll go get you some water," Emily said patting my hand and sending a warning look to Leah. When she was gone Leah sighed heavily.
"Paul left the reservation today," she said. I bit my lip and didn't respond. "We don't know when he is coming back."
"I don't know what to say Leah," I admitted finally.
"I want you to say that you messed up and that you are going to fix this before it's too late," she said.
"I didn't ask for any of this Leah," I said trying to rein in my anger for the sake of the headache building up in my head.
"None of us did," she retorted. "But you don't see us running scared." Her dark eyes dared me to argue.
"Listen to me carefully Leah," I said with calmness I didn't feel. "I nearly lost my life to a love so consuming that it nearly burned me alive. I crawled out of the abyss and even now I am still broken because of it. I can't do it again Leah. I won't survive it this time," I explained. I couldn't stop my voice from wavering and her eyes softened.
"That wasn't love Bells," she whispered. "And I think we both know that." Before I could respond Emily bustled back into the room with the water she had promised. Once everyone was gone I was lost in the silence as the echo of Leah's words still rang through my head.