Awww, thanks for the reviews you guys! I woke up this morning and there they were. Thank you, emmageller, DrKerryWeaver and Ithad2betold. And here's the chapter…
"Monica, which do you like, the oak or the maple?"
"Monica?"
I snap out of my daze. We're standing in the funeral parlor, looking through a selection of coffins. It's so sinfully boring that I can't stay awake. I've decided to be cremated when I die- I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
"Uhh, the oak. It looks better."
"I agree," my mom says, which surprises me. She's been better on this whole funeral thing than I expected. She hasn't had an episode since that night at the hospital. I, however, have been crying off and on for days. The wonders of hormones combined with your father's death.
"Well, Mrs. Geller, Ross, Monica," the salesperson nods to each of us, "I think we're pretty much done here. I'm very sorry for your loss."
We say our thanks and leave. As soon as we get into the car, Mom opens her mouth.
"What a depressing job!" she cries, leaning back in her seat. Ross laughs and I grin.
"Yeah, that would be pretty sad," Ross agrees.
"I mean, it's bad enough the poor woman has to be a salesperson, but to sell funeral accessories! That's just… pathetic!" Mom shouts to the ceiling. We laugh. Mom's back, for now.
--
Ross drops me off at my door, then goes home to his family. I make a quick dinner for Jack and Erica- mashed potatoes and applesauce (they're teething) and then scarf down a protein bar. Chandler walks in from work and immediately looks at the dinner table. "No food?" he asks innocently.
"We have to go to the visitation in a few minutes," I say, licking the granola crumbs off my fingers.
"I never want a visitation when I die. I just don't want people staring at me in my coffin."
"I'd rather be cremated. It just seems better."
Chandler kisses my forehead and goes up to change. I attempt to pick up both of the twins, but fail miserably.
"Chandler!"
He comes rushing down, his tie around his neck.
"Can you watch the babies for a second? I have to change!"
"Why didn't you just bring them upstairs?" he grumbles, attempting to quickly do his tie.
"I don't know… my back hurts. Really badly," I admit. He nods and I run upstairs to change into my black formal dress. The neckline is extremely modest for my tastes, but it's my dad's funeral. I can't exactly show things.
After I change, I step on the scale. I gasp. Shocked, I put on my shoes with trembling fingers and walk slowly downstairs.
"Monica, you look like you've seen a ghost," Chandler remarks.
"I've gained eight pounds in two weeks," I say quietly.
"Come on, honey, you know you look fine."
I merely nod and pick up my son. "You are either getting heavier or I'm getting way too weak to do this job," I say to him. Chandler smiles. I hoist Jack up on my hip and take him upstairs to get dressed. Chandler follows with Erica.
--
Two hours later, we're standing at the front of the funeral parlor with Ross, Rachel, Emma, Matthew, and Mom. Phoebe, Mike, and Lilly are sitting on the chairs behind the receiving line. The line curves around the room, flowers everywhere. I haven't looked at my dad yet. I can't bring myself to do it.
"Your father was a wonderful man," says a woman, shaking my hand.
"Oh, and how do you know him?" I ask.
"He was my boyfriend from freshman to junior year in high school. He was a great man," she says. My mouth drops open and I rush the woman to leave.
"I can't believe some of the people who come to these things!" I say.
Ross laughs. I kiss the top of Jack's head, which is (thankfully) covered in hair, and move onto the next person. It's Joey.
"Joey!" I say, hugging him quickly. He squeezes me and kisses my cheek.
"Hi Mon… I'm so sorry about your dad," he says to me and Ross. We nod, and Ross hugs him before asking how he got here so fast.
"Well I know we were going to fly out tomorrow for the funeral, but I figured you guys needed us here, so here we are." Alex appears behind him, holding a newborn baby. "And, we wanted you to meet… Alisa Rachel Tribbiani," he says, glancing down at his daughter. Rachel looks up, hearing her name. Joey and Alex smile and walk over to her, introducing her. Rachel squeals and takes the baby from Alex.
Finally, after everyone but Mom and the guys have left, I walk over to the coffin. My dad half-smiles, looking pasty white and wearing…
"Is that eye makeup?!" I shout, causing Chandler to come over.
"I think it is," he says in a sarcastic tone. He rubs my back and then goes over to sit with Phoebe.
I stare once more at my dad. He looks nothing like himself. I stand there, remembering everything. The time he pushed me on the swingset, when I was seven and weighed more than Ross. The time he took me and Ross out for ice cream when my mom was feeling sick. The time he put me to sleep and tucked me in when I was so hung up about Richard. Dancing with me at my wedding, admiring his new grandchildren, kissing my forehead before he left after dinner every two weeks. There will be no more of that- he won't be there when Jack and Erica go into kindergarten, or graduate, or get married. He won't be there if Chandler and I ever have any more children. He won't be there with my mother, the calm and funny one of the pair. I didn't know how much I needed him until he was gone. How do I go through life without him?
Tears are quickly running down my cheeks. My dad is dead. My dad is dead. My dad is dead.