Chapter 4
The second they reached Serena's bedroom, Serena whirled around and looked Blair straight in the eye. "Okay. What the hell was going on with you and Chuck at dinner?"
Blair blushed, but couldn't think of anything to say.
"Actually, you know what, spare me the details. I'd really rather not think about what was going on underneath that table," Serena huffed. "But really, B? What the hell are you thinking?"
Blair shrugged, making an unsuccessful attempt to act nonchalant. "I'm just having a little fun, Serena. What's the big deal?"
"You know exactly what the big deal is!" Serena cried. "Are you honestly going to go down this path with him again? And besides, I thought you guys weren't going to do anything until one of you says I love you."
"We're not doing anything!" Serena looked extremely skeptical. Blair sighed. "Well, I mean, we're not having sex. But we still flirt... and stuff."
Serena raised her eyebrows. "And stuff? I'm not even gonna ask. But do you really think this is a good idea?"
"It's a game, Serena," Blair said. "I'm just toying with him until I can finally get him to surrender."
"But whether or not you guys love each other shouldn't be a game, Blair! If you treat it like that, you're just going to end up hurting each other."
Blair looked away, trying to tell herself that Serena wasn't right. Even though she definitely was.
"Do you love him, Blair?" Serena asked softly, trying to meet her best friend's eyes as Blair pointedly looked in the other direction.
"I -" Blair falted. Then she sighed. "Yes," she said quietly. "Yes, I love him. Okay, Serena? I'm in love with Chuck Bass. There. I said it. Are you happy now?"
Serena just looked at her for a while. Finally, she said, "You should tell him, B."
"No," Blair said flatly.
"Why not?" Serena persisted, feeling exasperated. "Because of this stupid game? That's ridiculous. Just end your agony and say it."
"No. That's not the reason," Blair said quietly.
"Then what is?!" Serena cried.
"I'm afraid he won't say it back," Blair practically whispered, tears glistening in her eyes. "And I don't know if I could handle it if he didn't."
There was a slight noise in the doorway, and Blair and Serena both whipped their heads around to see Chuck standing there, eyes locked on Blair, his expression unreadable. Then, with a sudden, jolting movement, he turned and disappeared. Blair and Serena stared at the now empty doorway, at a loss for words. Blair felt as if her insides had suddenly frozen solid. How much had he heard? Judging by the look on his face, probably everything.
He had heard her say she loved him. And he had walked away. Walked away without even saying a word.
Blair felt like her heart had literally been ripped in half, and everything seemed to grow foggy and dull around her. Everything except the sharp, excrutiating pain of her freshly broken heart. She vaguely registered Serena reaching towards her, an expression of deep concern in her eyes, and she allowed herself to collapse into her best friend's arms, gutwrenching sobs wracking her body.