Chapter Four
Respite
Burke's eyes were swollen from crying when he finally awoke. He was nestled in his bedroll once more, his teddy bear nestling against his cheek. He sat up slowly with a shuddering breath.
"Are you feeling okay, Squire?"
Burke turned to find the Paladin lying across the room, settled into his own bedroll despite the sunlight slanting in through the doorway. Burke nodded, swallowing as he pushed down the bedroll and made to rise. He swayed unsteadily on his feet, prompting the Paladin to rise and steady him, grasping his shoulders.
"Take it easy, Squire. Don't push yourself."
"Is Burke awake?" A shadow passed into the light as Knight Hart entered, combing through her long dark brown hair with her fingers, a hairband between her teeth.
"He's just woken up. Not too steady on his feet, though." Danse commented, turning to face her. Nora quickly fastened her hair back into her usual sophisticate style, albeit messier than usual.
"When you're ready, Burke, we were thinking of continuing to County Crossing. It's a Minutemen settlement and we'll be able to rest there for a while. It's a lot more secure than this place."
Burke nodded slowly, barely comprehending her words. His head felt heavy on his shoulders and seemed to be full of clouds. "I… I need to pee." He mumbled, wiping a hand down his face.
"There's a bathroom further back," Nora gestured, watching as the boy stumbled past her.
When he was gone, she sighed heavily and leaned down, picking up the bear he had left in his bedroll. It was worn, the fur somewhat frayed and damp with the boys tears. Someone had taken the time to make a small bomber jacket for the bear, the name 'SENTINEL' neatly stitched on the left hand side.
"It's not right, is it?" She sighed, smoothing down the bear's jacket. "He hasn't even had the chance to be a child…"
"It's a tough world." Danse replied heavily. "Children must grow up fast, or be consumed by it."
"But not the way the squires have to... The children in Diamond City still have time to play."
"Those children are privileged, but they will grow up weak." Danse responded. "The squires can play during their free time on the upper floors of the main deck."
"..Surrounded by soldiers espousing the tenets..." Nora mumbled.
"Those soldiers protect the children!" Danse straightened up, frowning at her. "Or would you rather they be living in this hellhole, working the land as soon as they can hold a shovel? Do you really think they're better off down here, vulnerable to raiders or mutants?"
"No, but-"
"If what you've told me about your life is true, then you don't come just from a different time, you come from a different world. Life has changed. What the Brotherhood offers might not be ideal, but it is much better than fighting off other children for scrap, praying you can trade it for food!"
Nora blinked as the Paladin stalked out of the room. Wordlessly, she replaced the bear in the Squire's bedroll and followed him out. The Paladin was stood at the windows again, glaring down at the street below.
"…I'm sorry, Danse." She said quietly, watching him. "I guess… I'm just scared. This isn't how I thought my life would be and… Shaun's out in that world somewhere." Her voice quavered a little and when the Paladin turned to look at her, she quickly turned around, blinking away the tears that were blurring her vision.
"We'll find him, Nora." Danse said, softening his tone. "And just as you've made yourself a place in this world, so will he."
Nora sniffed, wiping away at the tears that slipped down her cheeks. She hadn't wept for Shaun or Nate for months, hadn't really allowed herself the time to grieve. But every time she did, she found it very hard to stop. She heard Danse approach slowly, almost warily from behind. "Nora…"
She turned slowly, attempting one final time to wipe away her tears and strangle a sob. Hesitantly, Danse stepped even closer and for a moment, she almost pressed herself against his chest. He almost held her, his arms rising to envelop her- then Burke slammed the door to the bathroom wide open, hitting it off the wall.
They both jumped and Nora quickly turned and disappeared into the stock room again, Danse staring after her with concern. The Squire at least seemed to have himself back under control. Though his face and eyes were still swollen from his tears, he wore a neutral expression.
For a moment, he stood in the middle of the room, staring at the floor, before asking "should I pack my things?"
"Affirmative." Danse replied, running a hand through his hair. He had left his hood beside his bedroll when he had been commanded by Nora to at least attempt to sleep.
Burke nodded slowly, before shuffling into the storage closet.
The Knight was crouched over her bedroll, her face in her hands and shoulders shaking. "Ma'am?" Burke called softly.
Nora just shook her head. "I'll be fine Squire…" She croaked, "it's just the dust…" Quickly, she shoved something on a chain back beneath the collar of her uniform. He hovered uncertainly in the doorway a moment, watching as she quickly began to roll the bedroll up, before moving to pack away his own.
The good weather held, though there was a cold breeze blowing in from the sea. They left shortly before midday, the Knight leading once again, encased in her power armour. They didn't speak, keenly aware of the super mutants lurking somewhere in the city. When they crossed over the bridge, Danse kept a watch on their backs. From this point they would be largely out in the open and vulnerable to ambush.
It was with some relief they emerged back into the wasteland scrub, even though the ground was treacherous underfoot. Nora pointed towards a copse of trees ahead. "County Crossing's just beyond those trees, Squire. Used to only be two ladies living there, but it's expanded nicely, thanks to the Minutemen."
Burke nodded, relieved at the notion of a break.
County Crossing had changed significantly since Danse had last accompanied Nora there. For one thing, it was much bigger, numerous shacks now set around the ruined houses and sizeable garden plot. One house even had a brahmin pen attached, two animals grazing inside. As they drew near, they were challenged by settlers stood at guard posts.
"Wait here." Nora said, heading on ahead. "The power armour makes them wary."
They watched as she set off ahead, holding her hands up to show she was unarmed. Almost as soon as she approached the nearest post, a woman rushed over and greeted her with a warm smile. The sentries listened to the conversation and holstered their weapons, then Nora turned and beckoned for them to approach.
"Paladin Danse, I believe you've already met Mary." Nora smiled, gesturing to the woman who had greeted her.
Mary nodded, smiling at the Paladin. "I remember, hard to forget a man in shining armour. Especially one who can melt a feral's face from a distance!"
"Civilian." Danse greeted, nodding his head. "I'm glad to see you're doing well."
"We've been doing a lot better, thanks to the General's help!" She grinned, knocking on Nora's plated shoulder. "And who's this charming young man?" She asked, turning her sparkling eyes upon the Squire.
Burke saluted. "Squire Burke of the Brotherhood of Steel, Ma'am!"
"Well! I was not expecting that!" Mary laughed. "Take it easy, kid. No need to be so formal. Anyway, the General was saying you haven't had a decent meal since yesterday morning, and you all sure look like it. Never mind that smell! What were you walking in?" She asked, waving her hand in front of her nose.
Nora and Danse looked at their power armour, faces flushing.
"I insist you get that armour and yourselves washed up if you want the hospitality of the Crossing! We've got a couple of tubs in the shacks now, and you can use the pump behind the ruins to clean up your armour."
"Knight, we don't have time-"
"Yes we do!" Nora cut across Danse, already setting off towards the ruined hoyse Mary had indicated. "Kells didn't give us a time limit, and Rhys has been waiting for me to do this mission for weeks. He can wait a little longer."
"Wait. You've left an assignment for weeks? Soldier…"
As Danse put on the Paladin voice, Nora sped up. "C'mon Burke! Got a job for you!" She called, trying to drown out Danse's lecture.
Burke cursed as he scrubbed at the mirelurk scat on the power armour, using words he had often heard the soldiers using when they were mad at something. The muck caking the armour was thick and stubborn. The smell of it, inches from his nose, made him sick to his stomach, saying nothing of the way it had a smooth, slimy layer that seemed to saturate the cloth and coat his fingers.
The Knight and Paladin had left him to it, going off to bathe and relax. It wasn't fair. They had followed him into the marsh. He hadn't told them to follow. Annoyed, he threw the washcloth into the bucket he had been using. The water had turned an awful shade of green-brown and he couldn't stand to feel it on his skin anymore.
Fuming, he sat on his rump, leaning his back against the broken wall. He had barely managed to make a dent in the muck of the Knight's armour, and he still had yet to clean the Paladin's. He doubted any of the other squires had been forced to do jobs like this.
He was so focused on being angry, he didn't realize he wasn't alone until he heard an "ahem!"
Surprised, he turned to see a girl, peering around the corner. She was tall, auburn hair tumbling around her freckled face in a mess of curls. She smiled at him brightly, approaching with a big tin bucket in her hand. "Need any help?"
"Help? With cleaning the power armour?" Burke's eyes widened as he stood, hastily trying to wipe dust from his trousers. He succeeded only in smearing the filthy, slimy water onto them, staining the material.
"Sure. I've never seen a set up close before. So… can I?"
"Yeah! Sure!" Burke nodded, eager to shirk some of the workload.
The girl grinned, traipsing up to where the Paladin's armour towered above them, untouched. "Wow… Power armour's so cool!" She exclaimed, putting the bucket down and resting and hands on her hips to admire it.
"…You've… really never seen any before?" Burke asked, staring at her.
"Nope, never. My mom has a piece of raider armour that the General blew up and brought back for scrap, but it's nothing like this!" As she spoke, the girl stepped onto the foot of the power armour and hooked her fingers into the chest plate, trying to scramble up on it.
"Hey, why do people call the knight 'General'?" Burke asked, watching as the girl somehow tried to heave herself onto the power armour's shoulder.
"You don't know?" The girl grinned as she succeeded in reaching her perch.
Burke shook his head. "I don't really know much about her." In truth, Kells had offered to show him a report on who he would be travelling with, but he hadn't really cared to know.
"I suppose I can tell you…" The girl smirked, tapping her finger against her lip. "If you give me your hat!"
Nora was standing at the brahmin pen, fussing one of the animals. She stroked both heads at once, running her hands over the bumpy snouts whilst both sets of eyes closed in appreciation. The animals were ugly, but they were gentle and obedient. Aside from the smell and constant dribble, she decided she quite liked brahmin overall.
"Making friends?" She turned to find Danse approaching, an open bottle of Gwinnet Stout in each hand. She nodded, laughing when one of the heads snorted and butted itself against her hand, impatient that she'd stopped.
"They're not the strangest friends I've made since waking up," she commented, patting the animal a final time before turning to face him. "Drinking alone?"
"I was hoping you'd be thirsty enough to join me, actually." The Paladin smiled, proffering one of the bottles. "I've found a good spot by the river."
Nora smiled, accepting the bottle as she fell into step with him. "I can't believe it! The Brotherhood's workaholic Paladin is actually taking a break!"
Danse shrugged as he led the way through the shacks, towards the river.
They were sat at the water's edge, watching as the water ran by. It was brown and undoubtedly toxic, but it didn't smell and there were no irradiated bugs hovering over it. It even looked a little pretty when the sun glittered upon it.
Danse was sat beside her, leaning back on his elbows and enjoying his drink. He wasn't always the most talkative of her companions, and sometimes he could seem to be downright cold, but when he was like this, unguarded and not wearing his mental armour, she felt completely at ease.
He glanced up at her and she realized she'd been staring. For a moment, she glanced away, but found her eyes returning to his. "…This was a really nice idea," she smiled, suddenly feeling the need to fill the silence.
"I thought we could both use a break, seeing as we're not doing anything productive." He shrugged, taking another swig of his drink.
"Mm." Nora sat up, returning her gaze to the water. "…I can't remember doing anything like this since I woke up. Just sitting outside, enjoying nature… what's left of nature." She added gesturing at the river.
Danse didn't reply, he just watched her, waiting to see if she was ready to open up to him. She had always made time to hear him out, to try to help him through whatever difficulties or inner demons he faced. He had come to trust her, had opened up to her in ways he had never opened up to anyone, not even Cutler. He hoped that she might come to trust him just as much one day.
"…On the day they froze us, we were planning to go out to a park." Her voice was quiet, and her gaze distant. "Codsworth would have helped me make lunch, then me and Nate would have taken Shaun for a picnic…" She sighed sadly, shaking her head. "I wish you could have seen it, Danse. Everything was so green." Her voice caught and she put her bottle down, turning to face him.
"How did I lose it, Danse? How did I lose both of them?" Her eyes were beginning to fill with tears. "Am I even the same woman I was back then? I've… I've killed people. It sometimes haunted Nate but I-" Her words dissolved into sobs.
Danse wordlessly moved so that he was crouching beside her, and pulled her against him. She grasped his shoulders and buried her face in his chest, unable to stop the tears. He felt helpless, uncertain how to proceed. He recalled when Haylen had cried in his arms, but this was different somehow. He had come to see Nora as more than an equal, had sometimes wondered whether they were more than simply friends. Her pain was raw and it hurt him to see how much it hurt her…
He kissed her hair and held her more tightly. Gradually, her sobs subsided, but she made no move to pull away, and he continued to hold her. They just sat there by the river, listening to the quiet lapping of the water and the lowing of the brahmin in the settlement.
"…For what it's worth, Danse… I'm glad I at least gained you." Nora whispered.
"…Me too." Danse murmured.
They separated when they reached County Crossing, Nora announcing she was going to work on their dinner whilst Danse went to check on the Squire and power armour. The suits were where they had left them, only now they were so clean, he could see his reflection in the scratched steel. He nodded in satisfaction. Perhaps the Squire had learned his lesson, after all. Provided Danse found him in camp and not running away again. He double checked the fusion cores were still in place before he began to walk back amongst the shacks, looking for the boy.
He soon found him in the brahmin pen, stood beside a tall, fiery haired girl who was showing him how to brush the animals. The girl had the Squire's hat on her head and was talking animatedly as she worked, Burke listening to her with an intense concentration as he brushed the brahmin with care. As the girl spoke, she glanced up and met his gaze. The words died on her lips and she nudged Burke. Danse sighed internally. He couldn't seem to help but intimidate people, with or without power armour.
Burke sighed, handing the brush back to the girl reluctantly before walking to the fence. "Sir?"
"Just checking in, Squire. Knight Hart is preparing dinner, so report to the designated shack in around half an hour."
"Um…" The girl shuffled up beside Burke, her eyes flicking nervously from Danse's face to the ground. "How long will you be staying, Mister?"
"We leave first thing tomorrow, Civilian." Danse replied, frowning slightly as Burke scuffed his boot in the dirt. The girl looked equally deflated, her shoulders sagging somewhat. "I'll leave you to the brahmin, then. Civilian." He nodded to the girl, before making his way towards the metal shack Mary had set aside for them.