Bart's P.O.V

"So what are we going to do today then?" My always-impatient girlfriend asked me, running her fingers down my chest.

"Well it's pretty hard to concentrate on ideas while your doing that", I smiled.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" She teased, fishing for compliments as per usual.

"Because your nails are digging into me and it hurts like hell", I smiled, teasing her back.

"Oi!" She laughed, so I could tell she wasn't really annoyed. "I'm serious, Bart, I want to do something special today".

"Well we could always head upstairs". I looked at her suggestivly. She lightly thumped my arm in a jokey manner.

"Bart. I want to make the most of today". I didn't really get what her issue was but I'd learnt from past experiences that it's best to just go along with it.

"Okay, well how about we get something to eat?"

"Out of the village?"

"Okay, out of the village. And we can invite Jonno too, make it extra special".

She pulled away from me, removing my hands from her waist.

"Seriously?"

"I'm kidding", I grinned, laughing. She fell for stuff like that so easily.

"Idiot", she laughed. "Okay so how are we going into town?"

"Well we could have used my scooter but I had to leave it on the way to stop some-one leaving the country", I told her.

"Yeah alright, I'm sorry about your scooter. Let's look up the bus times then".

"You know it's almost two now, we could always just go in tomorrow".

"No. We need to do something today".

"Sinead is everything alright?" I moved closer to her, concerned. She'd been acting weirdly ever since she got back from her girls holiday in the states. Especially today.

"Everything's fine", she tried to reassure me but I wasn't convinced.

"Really?"

"Really. I promise". She paused as if she was going to say something else. "I love you", she told me, her expression sincere. "This year has been the best in my life".

"I love you too", I replied, wondering what was bringing all this on. She nodded.

"Yeah. Well. Let's just make the most of today".

I decided not to ask what the big deal about today was as I wouldn't get an honest answer, so instead just grabbed my coat and took her to some fancy resterant in Chester high street. At the end of the day, as we reached her flat, she looked at me in all seriousness again.

"I mean it you know, I love you".

"Yeah, I know".

She just nodded again and opened the door.

"Hey - don't I at least get a goodnight kiss?"

She reached up and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before dissapearing inside, shutting the door firmly behind her. What the hell was up with her? I tried to shrug it off as I walked back down the steps from the enterance to her home, but it kept nagging at my brain that something wasn't right.

"What's up with you?" Michaela asked as I walked through the door to my house.

"Nothing".

"As if, you've got a right face on you. Spill". She rushed towards me, looking far more excited for gossip than concerned for my feelings.

"Aw, is it Sinead?" Theresa, who had been laid across the sofa reading a magazine with some boyband on the front, came over and attempted to give me a hug. "You know", she continued before I'd even responded to the question, "When I was younger I had this boyfriend, Newt. We argued, but in the end-"

"You split up".

"Well yeah but not because of that. How did you know we split up?"

"Well unless your a serious bitch and two-timing Will with some guy you dated in school, it was just an assumption".

"Alright so that was a stupid question. But my point was that if you've had an argument with Sinead it might not be anything to worry about".

"Well you didn't make it very well", I responded. "I still don't really understand you now. And I haven't had an argument with Sinead so get your facts straight". I sighed. "Whatever, I'm going to bed".

I heard Michaela and Theresa giggling patheticly as I made my way up the stairs and into my room, where I turned my music up loudly so that I could no longer hear them. Michaela was being an obnoxious cow and Theresa thought she knew it all when in reality she was just a bumbling idiot. I knew I was being unreasonable but Sinead's attitude had thrown me, and today was always a hard one anyway - the date of my step-mum's death.

I knew it was stupid to get upset over a date but I couldn't help it. This day made me think about everything, why every-one left. Every-one really meaning Jason. When he'd said before he left that this really was goodbye, that he was never going to come back or speak to me again, I hadn't thought she'd actually keep it up. He'd. I punched the wall in aggritation at my mistake. Jason could actually be a lad by now, could've had the operation and everything. Any remaining trace of my Jasmine could be gone by a single operation and I wouldn't even know it.

I needed to stop thinking about her so much, I was constantly trying but it was impossible to erase her from my mind. The worst part was not even being able to talk to any-one else about it - I couldn't mention her to Sinead for obvious reasons, she seemed to think I brought her up too much as it was, when I wasn't even aware of consiously mentioning her, Jonno didn't really get it and Seth got defensive if I mentioned it. Her. Well, him to Seth. No-one seemed to get why, with Jason gone, it was Jasmine I was missing. Fucking idiots. Jason was Jasmine. Is Jasmine. It didn't matter how much fancy treatments or operations or name changes (I had to admit the last one was my own fault), she got, she would always be Jasmine Costello. My Jas.

Shit. The thought of that jolted me back to last night. I clasped my hand to my mouth as my memory reminded me why Sinead had been so off with me today. Neither of us had lessons on Wednesdays, so last night I'd suggested she stayed at mine for the night. In Greece, I'd spoken to some-one on Seth's phone. The contact name had been blank and when I'd sneakily looked at the contacts list later for Jason's number, I couldn't find it. The voice at the other end of the line had sounded just like Jasmine. She was talking in a higher pitch, not the lowered tone she put on in her deluded attempt to sound like a boy, which confused me into thinking it couldn't be her. However, the possiblity that I'd talked to her had caused my head to spin for days. In bed with Sinead, even in the middle of what we were doing, it was still on my mind. I remembered thinking about the time Jasmine and I almost slept together in the same bed, the way she didn't want me to say her name. "Jasmine", I'd said aloud. "Jasmine. Not Jason".

Yep. In bed with Sinead, I'd not only called her Jasmine, but also started comparing Jasmine and Jason. No wonder she'd been pissed today. I punched the wall again, even angrier this time. Angry with myself, for screwing it up with Sinead, I was going to have to do some serious apologising. Angry with Sinead for not being Jasmine. Angry with Jasmine herself, for thinking she wanted to be a boy. She didn't. She couldn't. Angry that she made me fall so deeply in love with her that nothing else in the world mattered to me more than being with her. Angry that she left me. Why the hell did she leave me? I punched the wall again with this thought. Angry at everyone else in the whole goddamned world who expected me to refer to her as Jasmine, my own thoughts were the only place in which I was free to think of her as who she really was. My Jas. My Jas. My Jas.

I must have fallen asleep thinking of her because the next thing I knew the room was drenched in daylight and Sinead was, for some reason, sitting at the end of my bed.

"Sinead?"

"Your aunt let me in".

"Right". I still didn't get why she was here. What had she been doing, watching me sleep? "I'm sorry about the other night".

"Follow me", was all she replied. "There's some-thing you need to see. Some-one".

"What? Sinead what's going on?"

"Just get dressed". A wave of sadness crossed her face. "And remember, I love you, Bart. I'm doing this because I love you".

"Sinead you're worrying me now".

"I know. Just come on".

I got dressed quickly while Sinead waited outside - God knows why, it wasn't as if it was anything she hadn't seen before - trying to stop myself from thinking about how Jasmine wouldn't have played any stupid mind games like this. What, like saying she wanted to be a boy? I shoved the voice of doubt for Jasmine sharply out of my mind. I wouldn't have anyone saying anything bad about Jasmine. Especially not me. As I glanced breifly in the mirror, I caught sight of a framed photograph of Jasmine and I by the village fountain. I kept it turned around when any-one came into my room, but whenever I was alone, I liked to keep it faced towards me, sometimes when I was upset I'd even talk to her in the picture. Ask her what to do. How fucking pathetic was that.

I opened my bedroom door and walked towards Sinead, wrapping my arms around her and leaning in for a snog. I didn't like to think of it as a kiss, not when I was only doing it to distract myself from Jas. It was meaningless. Suprisingly, Sinead pushed me away.

"No", she said. "We need to go".

I followed her down the stairs and towards the front door, still confused as hell.

"Where you going?" Mercy asked.

"Ask her", I shrugged, gesturing towards Sinead. Over in the kitchen, Michaela smirked, looking up from her coffee. I stuck my middle finger up at her, closing the door behind me.

Jasmine's P.O.V:

"Do you want anything?" A grumpy looking air hostess with a trolley snapped. I was tempted to ask for a smile to see her reaction but resisted.

"I'm alright thanks", I replied.

"Suit yourself".

As she wheeled the trolley away I leant back and looked out of the window at the clouds. I must have been subconsiously thinking about Bart again because every cloud I saw looked heart-shaped to me. I got my phone out, I'd had to set it to flight mode but I could still look at photos. I scrolled through them until I found the one I'd been looking for and looked at it for a good ten minutes. It was me and Bart, by the fountain in Hollyoaks village, taken by Mitzee, the only member of my family who didn't seem to despise him at the time. Bart had gotten the photo printed out. I hated thinking of it lying in some dump somewhere after he'd presumably thrown it out.

I put my phone away, trying to distract myself with the selection of movies on-board, until everyone else on the flight was asleep and the clouds were replaced with stars twinking in the night sky. I slumped into the seat, trying desperatly to sleep, but the anticipation of seeing Bart again tomorrow was far too consuming to have any energy spare to think about sleep. However, as tiredness started to finally get the better of me, I felt my vision of the stars blur as I fell asleep smiling, the photo still clearly visible in my mind even with my eyes shut.

England was a lot cooler than I'd remembered. My sister Jem had to turn the heating on in her car for me, even though on the way to picking me up she'd had the air conditioning on full blast, according to her and the car radio it was boiling hot today. A year in California would sure change their minds about that.

"So, your going to try and give it another go with Bart then?"

"Maybe. If he'll have me".

"Well for what it's worth I thought you were a great couple, and this time you won't have Dad interfering".

"True. Thanks Jem".

I hadn't spoken to Dad since our argument almost a week ago, I'd attempted to start conversations but he refused to give me any response, although he did give me a hug before I left for the airport after driving me there in a frosty silence.

Driving back through Chester was almost scary, with every building we passed, I was one step closer to my old life, to everything I'd tried so hard to forget. When we finally pulled up in the pub carpark, I felt a strange mix of relief and aprehension. Part of me wanted to run out of the car and straight round to the McQueens, and also to Riley and my twin brother, but another side of me just wanted to lock the doors and stay in the car forever. There was no way Jem was having that though, as she leant over and opened the door for me, seeing I was clearly not planning on opening it myself any time soon.

"Go", she instructed.

"Aren't you coming?"

"I'm just dropping you off, Jas. I've got a work meeting I need to be at. But I'll come and visit soon I promise, I haven't seen the boys in a while either".

"Last time you dropped me off somewhere I didn't see you again for three years".

"Come on, that's not fair".

I sighed.

"I'm sorry", I relented. "I'm just nervous".

"Well don't be. Jason or Jasmine, we all love you".

"Mhmm".

"Bye Jas".

She smiled and waved as she started the engine and drove away. I waited until the car was out of sight before getting out my phone and texting Sinead.

"I need to see him".

I resented having to arrange meeting Bart through Sinead, however I didn't want to interupt anything by going round - Bart and Sinead doing anything was a sight I never wanted to chance seeing, even the thought of it was enough to make my heart feel like it was being torn apart and forced through a shredder. A few minutes later I recieved a reply -

"Meet in the folley. 10 mins".

There were no kisses at the end, which was unusual for Sinead, so I could tell she was clearly upset. I could hardly blame her. It suddenly sunk who I was about to see, I'd imagined it for the past year and especially this last week since my decision to visit home, but the realisation that it was now more than just a daydream had only just hit me. Shaking slightly, I made my way to the folley.