Team Blood
Narrator: We rejoin our heroes in-
Ash: Hey Narrator!
Narrator: What now...
Ash: If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, then what happened to the egg?
Narrator: … You really need to get tested for something...
(Insert Alternative Rock theme song here)
Tepig: Hey I'm kinda getting tired, can we go to a Pokemon Centre?
Ash: Sure, let's go!
(Ash and Friends enter the Pokemon Centre)
Tepig: We're not friends!
(I don't give a fuck!)
Ash: Hey Nurse Joy! I need you to-
Nurse Joy: Oh Brock! Please inject me with your Nigga Dick, I need it!
Brock: (Pimp-slaps Nurse Joy) Shut the fuck up Elsie, where my money?
Nurse Joy: (Sobbing) But my name's Joy...
Brock: Oh, sorry...
Tepig: (Isn't Elsie the name of my old trainer?)
Ash: Hey, I need some help for my Tepig over here and-
Nurse Joy: Shut the fuck up, kid, I'm tryna get some Nigga Dick here!
Ash: What's Ni-
Tepig: Don't say it Ash, Nurse Joy has immunity because she's a fine ass babe...
Ash: What happens if I say-
Tepig: Don't say it! You'll get your ass kicked!
Ash: Ha! No one can beat me, I'm a pokemon master in training!
Tepig: (Well, I warned you... I'll be over here, finding some popcorn...)
Ash: Alright, which Nigga wants to fight me first!
(All heads turn around to Ash)
Ash: Hey... you're all darker than Brock, how do I get that dark?
Tepig: (Oh wow, I actually feel sorry for the retard...)
(Guys in red clothing appear)
Guy 1: We're Team Blood, and we heard you use the word 'Nigga'...
Guy 2: You ain't dark enough to use that word...
Guy 3: So we gon' kick yo ass...
Ash: In a pokemon battle?
Tepig: (Team Blood, not Team Rocket you idiot!)
Guy 4: No... we gon' fuck yo shit up!
Guy 5: Word!
Tepig: (Nice knowing you, Ash...)
(Ash gets into a Karate stance)
Ash: Bring it on!
(Thirty seconds of fighting later...)
Tepig: (HOLY SH-)
Brock: What in the-
Nurse Joy: That just made me horny!
All: …
Tepig: He's only ten, you know...
Nurse Joy: I'm not picky...
(Brock taps on Ash's shoulder)
Brock: Ash, you just beat up five members of Team Blood, by yourself!
Ash: Yeah well, my mom said I might need to use this one day, so I did!
All: Ah, that explains it...
Brock: (Gulps) Hey listen, kid, I was just joking about the stuff I said about your mom...
Ash: Huh? That's strange, she said it was all true-
Brock: She's lying!
Tepig: Forget about that, Ash! Do you know who those guys were?
Ash: Um... players from the Boston Red Sox?
Tepig: What? No!
Ash: But they were wearing red socks, and they sound like they're from Boston!
Tepig: That's not what I meant, and you're mixing up Brooklyn and Boston again...
Ash: Oh... so they're the Brooklyn Red Sox?
Tepig: No! They're Team Blood, one of the two most vicious gangs in the Pokemon World!
Brock: The other one is Team Crip...
Ash: So... they're the Bloods and the Crips?
Tepig and Brock: Exactly!
Ash: Oh... Then we'll just beat 'em up each time!
Brock: Good luck with that, kid, I'm outta here!
(Brock flees)
Ash: See you later, Brock!
Tepig: Yeah, you'll be seeing him, much later...
Ash: By the way, where are we?
Tepig: Viridian City, right?
Ash: Well we were just in Pallet Town, so it must be...
Bystander 1: Hell naw, nigga, this is Brooklyn City!
Ash: Eh? Brooklyn City?
Bystander 2: Yeah! You took a wrong turn on Route 1, you go straight, don't take a right!
Tepig and Ash: Oh... well, thanks!
Bystander 1 and 2: No problem, man!
Ash: Alright, let's go, Tepig!
Tepig: Yeah, yeah... whatever...