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Philip slowly cracked his eyes open. He felt like he was sleeping on a soft, warm cloud. The warmth that surrounded him was strange but much appreciated, especially in one of those cold mornings like that one was. He blinked to get rid of blurry vision and stretched his stiff arms.

And then it hit him.

He wasn't sleeping in his own bed. He saw that his so called warmth provider was none other than Lukas which was sleeping peacefully beside Philip.

Philip recalled that he fell asleep last night beside Lukas, fully clothed, comforting his so called boyfriend, even though he promised himself that he'd never initiated any sort of contact with Lukas without Lukas' own initiative to establish better and more open relationship with Philip. He didn't really expect Lukas to come out in front of whole school, but what he did expect was that he'd tell his dad and closer friends. Including Rose that at least deserved the truth, even if Philip never liked her.

He was quite shocked when he woke up around three o'clock at night when he heard his phone ringing. He was pretty sure that he was dreaming when he saw Lukas' name and photo of him smiling at the camera displayed for incoming call. He shrugged and answered, he was dreaming anyways.

But when he heard Lukas' voice, he was awake in a moment. Something was terribly wrong, he never called him, not in the middle of the night. And what was the thing that really got to Philip was that Lukas called him 'honey'. With such a desperate voice, full of relief and he dare say, love, when he realised that Philip was fine, he called him 'honey' for the first time. Philip wasn't really a big romantic but those kind of endearings and the worry that was so obvious in Lukas' voice, he couldn't resist. On the top of all that, he saw in school, how distracted and tired Lukas looked. He wasn't one of the popular guys anymore. Not that Philip cared, but he did notice. And to be honest, he was quite relieved. With all the popularity, Lukas always felt pressured and felt the need to meet the standards that were set if you wanted to be cool. He expected that after all this shit with the murders was resolved, Lukas was going to act more open and carefree because he was one of 'outcastas' now. Which meant that they could hang out at and after school after they talked things through, and maybe they could even make their relationship public.

He woke up from his mind stupor when Lukas started to toss beside him. He was in dilemma, one part of Philip still wanted to punish Lukas for being a coward and insensitive prick and told him that he should leave right now, before Lukas would wake up; the other, softer one, told him to stay with Lukas to support him and finally talk to him. Of course, the softer, kinder side of Philip won, as always.

He sighed and laid back, his arms supporting his head, facing Lukas and the other hand stroking Lukas' arm softly, barely touching with his fingertips.
Lukas yawned and cracked one eye open.

''Philip, are you really here or am I still dreaming?,'' Lukas mumbled, clearly too sleepy to register the reality and closed his eyes again, just letting go and enjoy 'dream' Philips touch.

Philip just smiled slightly and continued to stroke up and down his arm slowly. If he wasn't sure that he should stay with Lukas before, he was now. This sweet boy was whole new side of Lukas he never knew that existed, and to be honest, he missed Lukas too much to ignore him any further.

After a while, Philip's stroking stopped an he reached for his phone beside the lamp on the bedside table to check the time. Lukas' eyebrows furrowed and he opened his eyes quickly, missing the contact of Philips hand.

Lukas just stared at Philip and his eyes were clouded, looking at Philip like he never did before. He recalled the nightmares and that he called Philip to make sure he was allright, but couldn't believe that Philip stayed the night. Not that he was afraid of his father, not anymore. He drew the conclusion that without Philip, his life wasn't worth the effort. Not that he was suicidal but really, his life would be dull and miserable without the brunet. It really was kind of sentimental and at the same time sad thought, but that was the reality. He lost all passion, hope and happines when Philip was ignoring him.

Philip laughed softly and his eyes lit when he saw the astounded look Lukas was giving him.

''Hey. Slept well?,'' Philip asked, his expression turning serious.

''Yeah. What about you? I can't believe you slept here,'' Lukas replied, still looking like he was struck by lightning.

Philips expression closed off. Of course, Lukas was still selfish and thought only about what his dad would say if he knew.

''You know what? I'm going. I shouldn't have sleep here, it was a mistake,'' Philip hissed and backed away from Lukas.

Lukas was frightened. He was about to lose Philip again. He never was good with words and now he had to act quickly, choosing the right words.
He grabbed Philips hand when he stood up from the bed quickly to catch Philip.

''I didn't mean it like that, Philip. I'm happy that you slept here but after all the shit and you ignoring me, I was surprised. That you came at fucking three in the morning just to make sure if I was okay,'' Lukas quickly said, his eyes pleading Philip to stay.

Philip turned back to look at Lukas. This was so exhausting, all the emotional rollercoasters. He had to set things straight.

''Lukas, that's your last chance. I'm going to tell Helen and Gabe about the cabin and that we saw everything together. and about us. I expect from you to do the same, in time. They won't say anything to your dad but I can't pretend that nothing is between us anymore. And about that dinner, you should tell the truth too,'' Philip said stiffly with a blank expression on his face.

''I told him already,'' Lukas whispered, still holding Philips hand like it was some sort of life provider.

''What?,'' Philip replied, surprised. He really didn't expect that anything was changing but evidently, it was.

'' I told him about the cabin and about drugs. And about the nightmares. I just can't tell him about you yet. Just give me a bit more time. I swear I'll tell him. Soon. Just... Stay, please. Don't leave me, I need you. I know I don't deserve you, I know I acted like some egoistic son of a bitch, but I really need you. Please, Philip, stay,'' Lukas sobbed, tears steaming down his face. He knew that he was beeing melodramatic and sounded weak but that was what he felt like. There wasn't any more space for pretending. He didn't want to and couldn't go on pretending. He just wanted his angelic, beautiful Philip to stay beside him.

Philip was shocked by the flood of emotions that poured out of Lukas' mouth and body. He dropped all the shields, just standing there, waiting for Philip to decide. Philip couldn't believe that Lukas was able to do that. It felt like he put his life in Philips hands. So fragile and vulnerable. He was moved, surprised, happy and at the same time frightened by all that power that Lukas gave to him. He was sorry almost the moment he gave the ultimatum Lukas had to face, he really wasn't the kind of guy to force somebody into that kind of position.

He froze and then he just tightly hugged Lukas who embraced him back in rib crushing hug but neither cared.