Chapter III: Loving Necromancer
I stood in Blightfire Moors, a swamp that reminded me of Innothule near home. However, the swamp was a little too cool and the air smelled different, not as slimy. Frogs hadn't polluted it with their incessant breeding.
There weren't mangroves all over, but then again someone tore those down when the frogloks invaded. A travesty and we never seemed to rebuild.
On my walks through the hillside I was ambushed by a dire rat similar to those in the mines. Despite it only being a rat, the battle was long and at the end I had a large sore on my knee.
As I bandaged my knee I saw a small Vah Shir skeleton gawk at me with its empty head, then, it removed its head.
That was normal skeleton behavior, as was the skeletal form of the necromancer standing beside it.
"Hello," the elf skeleton told me in a sultry female voice with a cruel undertone, "my brother in hatred, should we join to fight the rats?"
"Yeah" I said but I thought, "specially if we roll in the swamp… Hehehe."
Hey now, usually I'd prefer the gorgeous bumpiness of my own kind but one's hand can only do so much. I couldn't wait to get to a brothel with some Troll women.
Together, we fought rats and took their hides to a drakkin guard for a bounty. I was the strong tank, she the damage behind me, Ladydeeth. No one called her that, but me and my memories.
We then used the platinum to buy a new set of gear in the Drakkin city.
As I waited for the necromancer outside the tailoring store, obviously the skeleton desired a pair of shoes since she was taking forever. I adjusted my cool new cage-helmet.
She returned from the store with an empty bag and a mysterious grin. She looked as if she were floating with each step, but it wasn't Dead Man floating spell. Something was amiss. She looked happy in a goodie-goodie way and it hurt my big tummy.
"No get a loot and scoot? Wut happened? Did ya convert to that love goddess lady E-Marr?"
The skeleton shook her head, "Oh its just I met him again. I felt so sorry for him I had to help him get parts for his charm. He was almost naked, poor guy."
This was yet another disappointment, Lavubi or whatever was already in a relationship.
"Well, wut about the money? Did I get my heal pots?"
"Here," Lavubi handed me the lowest quality heal pots I had ever seen.
"Whut? Where's the rest? Did ya sleep with 'em for plat or whut?"
Lavubi was too 'in love' to fully comprehend me, "Oh no, he refused that exchange, I gave it to some pathetic Vah Shir child on the way out. Damn Wood Elves and their sexy tight buns."
Outraged I babbled "Ya whut? I hope it ain't dunn cat-killin' brat, his parents musta be richer than both of us together. Yer a shame to Inny."
"No, I'm not, I hate in more profound and less simple, obvious ways than you," she muttered as we walked toward the swamps.
We began to fell sentient treants, weird walking trees that scared me at first. The battle was long but fulfilling.
Lavubi casted a snare on a nearby giant. These were funny, like everything else in molested-dragon-human land.
They looked sort of like frost giants, but without the blue shine. All of them had big beards and funny hats. When I hit them, "help" in their language sounded like someone vomiting.
Lavubi was low on mana and I was getting tired of killing. The giant we were assaulting slowly began to flee us, yelling 'help' as he did.
I followed, but then the ground beneath me rumbled and I heard loud bellowing ahead. Then, my heart raced and sweat gathered as I saw a huge train of giants try to overwhelm us. Luckily, we were both able to play dead until the giants passed.
We separated ways after I asked Lavubi if she'd like to share an inn room. She fled.
Anyway, after resting in the city inn, I again returned to the swamps to assist a young shadow knight ogre named Gorgo who wanted to kill a spirit wolf for this blue-scale dragon girl who wore dark blue robes. She looked like a blueberry whose gender I could barely tell. She had an upturned nose on a fat face with dark red eyes.
We followed the two past white rats which I would later discover were excellent fighting practice and super easy to kill despite their bluffing.
Around us was a heavily foggy forest that I could hardly see through. Ghost wolves howled in anguish.
Gorgo didn't speak much for an ogre, I think something was funny with his head. He grunted to get things across, but I had to help a future brother in darkness.
The drakkin girl wasn't impressed with Gorgo's and my attempt killing ghost-wolves that lurked the forest. We were getting seriously injured with lacerations throughout our bodies.
"I knew you couldn't help me, I got the Golden Order of the Daylight Sun to help us."
"Goods?" I blurted out, I couldn't believe it!
"NO, GODS, Waluce, officer is posed to help us. Yeah they's got light-siders, doesn't mean a ting," she told us.
Easy for a neutral to say, I saw a horn-helmeted Barbarian berserker with thick, crazy red braided hair and shaggy crazy human beard. A red-sleeved arm of a dainty dark elven woman was wrapped about his brawny shoulder with her red nails brushing his fine bronze armor. He had a marking on his armor, the face of a pale vampire woman with blood tears.
He looked like one of those crazy guys in City of Mist.
I growled in jealousy while Gorgo took tasty ear wax from his ear and nibbled it. With a beauty mark, thin high eyebrows, narrow-heart shape faced deep purple lips and too perfect body (for a dark elf) face stood Lavubi. Her body was like a black widows, with a tiny waist and big ass and breast.
"Iz dis da naked guy from Reach?"
Lavubi stood akimbo and sighed deeply.
"Gee, I hope not. No Troll, I'm Waluce officer of GODS. You can join us, we'll make you uber and stuff."
"Really? Dunn have good siders doin' good stuffs?"
"No, most guilds now-a-days are neutral. Of course, we'd be happy to help." He then turned around began hunting for the big-wolf.
I turned to Lavubi, instead of hunting, "Ya'd rather sleep with a Barb ya barely know instead of me? We've bled together? Whut about da guy in Crescent Reach? Does that mean I get a chance some day?"
"No, especially now that you've asked. It wasn't going to work. Waluce is decent, not like those other goods."
Waluce struggled to slaughter the big wolf and Gorgo died, but it was just a blur on my memory. The fueled anger in my thumper was the focus of the day.