She knows something is wrong when she wakes up. Her alarm clock says its 10:18 am. She sits up in bed and tries to forget about the dream she was having. She doesn't want to remember what she used to have. She doesn't want to remember what happened before Henry was born.

Henry? Where was he? She never got to sleep in on her days off, because her little boy got bored easily and woke her up. (She was actually supposed to work today, but since she was called in on Wednesday and actually ended up just working the whole day, so she got Thursday-today-off instead.)

Regina supposes he was so tired from last night that he wanted to sleep longer. Last night, like every night before her day off, they played with Henry's toys, ate ice cream, and watched a bunch of movies. It was basically a ritual for them, one that Regina loved. It wasn't exactly active, but they did stay up a little later than usual to watch a couple more movies, so maybe that's why he's still asleep.

She thinks about making breakfast and then waking him up, but she doesn't know what Henry wants to eat. Instead she decides to shower and get dressed instead. It's a simple outfit: a laxed grey shirt and a black over vest with black dress pants. Then she goes to check on Henry. She chuckles as she finds him waddled deep under a blanket, stuffed toys all around him.

"Baby," Regina says, gently shaking his shoulder. "Time to wake up." He doesn't move and Regina sighs. On the rare occasion he doesn't get himself up, he's a nightmare to wake up. "C'mon, sweetheart. You have to wake up. I'll make pancakes."

That usually gets him moving a little, but he doesn't stir. He doesn't do anything. Regina frowns. She can't hear him breathing. She rips off his blankets and many animals and is met with her boy sprawled out on his back, one arm thrown over his face. "Henry?!" She grabs him in her arms and he doesn't move, doesn't do anything. It's like he's a doll.

Tears swell in Regina's eyes as she takes his pulse: it's weak, but there. In seconds she's clutching his head to her chest, supporting his bottom as she wraps his legs around her. She grabs his coat and runs into the kitchen, grabbing the keys to her car.

She doesn't buckle him in right. In her hurry, she forgets to do the miniature buckles that come with the baby seat, but instead only straps him in with the car's own belt. She doesn't buckle herself in.

Regina's head is spinning and she can't think. She can barely focus on the road as she goes forty miles over the speed limit. Her little boy isn't aright and she doesn't know why. She can't lose her little boy. Her heart is in her throat but she can't. She has to be strong for him.

His pulse is even lower when they get to the hospital. He's paler and he's limp. He feels so heavy as Regina barges through the emergency room doors. "Help me!" she cries. "My son, he-he's not breathing!"

Doctors are on her in seconds. They take Henry away from her, settle him on a bed. Tears flow down Regina's cheeks. She's scared. It's like someone is squeezing her heart, telling her she won't amount to anything, telling her she is worthless, telling her she'll never be a good mother, telling her all of these awful things so that is surrounds her, swallowing her whole.

It makes her knees buckle and she almost falls but an arm wraps around her waist, and a hand presses into her back. She's being pulled away, away from her little boy. She screams and kicks, screaming Henry's name over and over again. She sees Dr. Jones checking his airways, sees other doctors running around near him, but she can't process it. It's not making sense, she can't understand anything. It's like she's trapped inside a giant snow globe, forced to watch everything happen. It's so blurry.

Regina tries to step forward, to get closer to her baby. She needs to save him, to get in there and help him. But she's being pushed back into someone and he's forcing her to walk away. She can only watch helplessly as curtains shut around Henry's bed and then she's being pulled back into an empty on call room.

"It's going to be okay." Robin's words wash over and Regina wants to believe them, wants them to be real. She desperately wishes it to help. She wants it to soothe her, but it doesn't.

"Henry! He-he-" She bursts into tears, her head collapsing in her hands.

"Here." He gently pushed her down on her bed, his hands lying on her shoulders. "Do you need anything?"

Regina looks down at the floor, aware that Robin had said something, but not quite being able to put it together. It's like when she was ten and her mother was yelling at her, usually over something small and unimportant to most. She remembers blocking it out, pretending to listen while imagining something else. Usually she thought of being with her father, him taking her to the beach or a fair when her mother was away.

Now all she can think of is Henry. Henry, lying in her arms. Henry, barely breathing. Henry, her little baby boy who she can't lose.

"We stayed up a little later than usual," she begins, eyes staring past Robin and at the wall. "We had ice cream and-and pizza bites. We watched some Avengers. Henry wanted to watch another movie so I let him. And then he wanted to watch another one. It was way past his bedtime by the time I put him down, but he was fine. Henry was fine, just sleepy. And then I-I-" Tears splutter in her eyes but she doesn't try to fight them. She lets them flow down her cheek and onto the floor. "And then I go to wake him up and he's not-not breathing."

"Regina, listen to me." Robin shakes her shoulder just a little bit, so little that she barely even feels it. "Henry will be fine."

"Remember the day I gave birth to him?" Regina asks. She looks up into Robin's eyes, looking at him but not seeing him. "They placed him into my arms and it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulder."

"I know," Robin whispers, gently moving to sit down next to her. "I walked into the room and you were crying. You were happy though. And I had Roland, but he was just a baby himself. Marian saw Henry and she just started bawling. And you did, too. Then I had two crying women and, as if sensing their mothers were upset, Henry and Roland started crying. I had four crying people on my hand and I didn't know what to do."

Regina snorts, remembering the day. By the time the nurse had walked in, Robin had started crying, too. "And-and then, once everyone left, I called Daniel and he didn't even want to see his own son." She laughs harder, even though it's not funny, even though it literally left a whole in her heart.

Robin shifts awkwardly. "Regina-"

"It's not funny, I know." But she can't stop laughing. She rubs her eyes, smearing even more at the makeup on her face, ruined by tears. "Last night I had the dream. You know, the dream where it starts out with Danielle telling me he loves me, telling me we will be together forever. Then it switches next to when I'm telling him I'm pregnant and he's still telling us together forever. Then . . . then . . ." She can't get out the last part. The words are stuck on her tongue but they won't come out. it hurts to even utter them. "Then it happens, we fall apart, I give birth a few months later and he doesn't want to meet his son."

Robin closes his eyes, already knowing the rest of the story. He has heard of it many times, been there when she woke up screaming and crying. One night, he remembers, she wouldn't stop crying. He held her, rocked her back and forth the best he could, but she wouldn't stop. When she did, an hour later, she was blank, numb. It was like some else had become Regina, leaving her in autopilot all day.

"And then he dies," Regina finishes the last part.

Robin sighs and sits next to him. "Are you alright?" he asks. He doesn't know what else to ask.

"No. I want my son."

"It's been a few minutes now. Let's go see if he's okay."

~()~

A fever. Henry had a fever. A really bad one, too. It lands him in a room, hooked up to a few machines. An IV runs through his arm as sleeps invades him. Regina listens as Dr Jones explains what has happened.

"Just a bad fever. He's dehydrated so we got him on an IV. Once he wakes up you can take him home, just make sure he drinks a lot." Here he rests a hand on her shoulder. "Breathe, las. Henry will be fine.

Regina thanks him over and over again. She never was close to him, in fact on many occasions she utterly despised the other doctor. But right now he saved her son (even if there really wasn't anything to save him from except for a fever) and so that makes him her favorite person currently.

"Thank you so much." Her words come out a single short breath. Dr. Jones waves her off before leaving. Regina walks over to Henry. She manages to lie down next to him, and, as if sensing she's there, he curls up into her. She rests her hand on the back of his head and gently throws her other arm around him.

"Hey baby," she whispers, her voice raw, tears threatening to spill over. "You scared me so much."

She cradles him into her even more, resting her chin on his head. She starts to rock him back and forth slowing, just swaying. The sun suddenly rises through the window, peaking in, casting a glow through the room. If Regina wanted to, she could make puppets with her hands in the shadows.

Regina starts to sing a lullaby. It's an old one from when Regina was a kid. Her father used to sing it to her before bed. Sometimes, when she was sick, he would sit on her bed next to her, cradle her in his arms, and just sing. She still remembers his hand in her hair, the soothing song washing over her, wishing it was her mother. While she loved her father, she wanted her mother. But her mother would never sing her to sleep.

"Momma?" Henry stirs, his voice drowsy but understandable. He shits a bit and manages to poke his head up so he's looking her in the eyes. "Where are we, Momma?"

"The hospital, baby," Regina answers, still swaying him back and forth. "You were a bit sick."

"All better now?"

She snorts, feeling the urge to cry wash over. "Yeah, all better now."

~()~

An hour later, Henry is in the living room, a bunch of toys scattered around him on the carpet. A movie is playing on the television, but Henry has long abandoned it, instead opting to play with his giant Thor doll. 'Thor' saves a cat from the tree, and Henry 'awards' him by Thor pretending to eat one of his pizza rolls.

Regina smiles down at him, phone pressed to her ear as she puts away the milk jug.

"Okay Dr. Mills," Sally Hotchkins says over the phone, "everything is all set up. If you want to drop by to check out the center then that is no problem at all."

Regina smiles, already knowing she'll be happy with the place. Henry's old daycare didn't offer for Regina to check out the place first. They even seemed a little miffed that she was even calling to check them out instead of just dropping him off one day.

"Actually, Mrs. Hotchkins, it's my day off today, but I'll drop Henry off tomorrow and I'll stay a bit to check it out, if that's okay."

"That is no problem at all! We are glad to welcome Henry into our daycare facility."

Regina thanks her and hangs up. She smiles at her son as she makes her way over. She sits down next to him and he silently hands her some sort of action figure. She smiles and they play together. They pretend to beat down a bad guy but after awhile Henry gets bored.

"Can we go to the park, Momma?" he asks, putting down his toy. He looks up at her with big puppy dog eyes and she wants to say yes.

She hates that she's going to have to say no, but even though Henry is up and playing with his toys, he might still be too weak to go outside. He could get even more sick, and she really doesn't want to push it .

"I'm sorry, baby, but you're still not fully well."

"But I all good now, Momma!"

They always go out on her day off, usually to parks or museums. A wave of guilt hits her as she remembers they were supposed to go out yesterday, but she decided to stay all day. Now they couldn't because he was sick, but it wouldn't matter if they had gone yesterday.

"Oh, I'm sorry baby." She runs a hand through his hair but he shifts away from him, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. He honestly looks adorable. "Henry, I'm sorry, but I don't want to risk anything."

"But I'm all good!" He stamps a foot down, glaring at her. "I all good, I all good!"

Regina sighs as she stands. She runs a hand through her hair. She can sense a tantrum coming off and she's really not in the mood. Not after the morning they both had. "Henry. Come on, baby-"

"No! Now Momma, I want to go now!"

"Henry." Her voice has become firm, but not loud. "I don't want a tantrum. I said no and-"

"No! No, no, no!" He stomps his foot down harder, eyes swelling with tears. "It's not fair! We always go!"

"I know that, Henry." Regina levels him a hard stare. "But you are sick and it's not good for you to go out yet."

"That's not fair!" Henry screams.

Regina rubs at her temples. She can feel a migraine coming on. "I know it's not fair, Henry. Maybe if you be good today we can do something later this week."

"NO! I wanna go now! Now, now now!"

She doesn't want to deal with it anymore. She knows Henry won't be convinced, that'll he'll continue to pout and throw a tantrum if she doesn't interfere. "Henry, stop it now."

"No, Momma! Not fair!"

"Okay that's it. You know better to act like this-"

"I DON'T CARE!" He throws himself on the ground, screaming and kicking.

Regina groans inside. "Henry, come on." He doesn't stop, and Regina's head start to pounds. "Henry! I mean it, stop." He doesn't. Regina has to pull out the big guns, even though she doesn't like using them. "Henry! If you don't stop now, we'll never go to the park again."

That get's Henry attention. "Really, Momma?"

"Yes."

Slowly, he stands back up. "I don't wanna never not go to the park again!"

"I know, but you can't act like this."

"I sorry, Momma!"

"I know you are baby, but you're still in trouble."

She sends him to the corner for three and a half minutes. He pouts the whole time, but it works. When he's done, he apologizes and cleans up his toys without being told to. He still has uneaten pizza rolls, but he doesn't want them so she throws them away. They go to his bedroom to settle down for a nap. His tantrum must have worn him down, because he falls asleep only two pages into the story.

Regina kisses his forehead and leaves, gently closing the door behind her as to not wake him.

~()~

Friday morning, she and Henry enter The Cookie House. She loves the name. Sunshine's was a cliche and also overdone and overused. The Cookie House actually smelt like cookies mixed with orange juice and apple sauce. Henry's arms are tight but not too tight around her neck. His head is buried in her neck as he peaks at the new place.

Regina checks in with the receptionist, who is nothing but real smiles and bright eyes. It actually sounds true when she says she's happy to have Henry. She tells Regina she can let Henry have as long as he needs to say goodbye and Regina just knows she'll love it here. She looks at Henry and is not quite sure he'll feel the same.

"I don't wanna go, Momma," he whispers, hanging on close.

Regina smiles and gently puts him down, but she kneels so they're eye-to-eye. "Why's that, baby?"

He glances around at the room. There are miniature slides, a flat screen TV currently playing Monsters Inc., and there's a bunch of toys everywhere. It's not even loud. Most kids play quietly or watch the movie. Half the babies are asleep and the others bounce in walkers or play in play-pins.

Henry tugs at his polo. "No friends."

"You'll make friends, sweetheart. Everyone loves you."

Henry still doesn't look convinced. His thumb moves to his mouth, where he sucks on it slowly. "I'm call later?" (It bothers her that he switches from I to I'm, because he knows using 'I' has the same affect as the puppy dog eyes.)

She has already set it up with Sally, but she tells him anyway, "I'm sure if you ask Ms. Sally nicely, she'll let you call me."

He nods slowly. "Okay. Can I watch the movie now, Momma?"

Regina smiles and it practically eats her face. "Yeah, of course." He hugs her tight and she kisses the top of his head. Then he slowly moves to sit next to a blonde kid, a bit bigger than him, maybe six. She smiles warmly at him and scoots over. Henry smiles back and happily sits down. Knowing Henry is in great hands, she leaves.

She left early so Henry can check out the new daycare, but it didn't take as long as she expected, so she's a bit early when she shows up for work. Dr. Jones is the first to notice this and he takes full advantage by asking her to check up on a baby he's too busy to see. And she can't say no, because, well, he saved her son. Besides, she loves babies so she doesn't mind. So she says yes and heads up to check on a 3 pound baby boy.

He's breathing because of machines, his chest barely rising up and down. Regina wonders where the family is. Usually the parents never leave their sick baby's side. Hell, if Henry was a premi, she would have slept at the hospital until she could take him home.

"Oh, hello Dr. Mills." Swan makes her way into the room after hesitating only a second She sends a small smile and makes her way to a different baby boy. "I'm just taking Martin's blood pressure."

Regina raises an eyebrow. "Martin?"

"Oh, um." She scratches her head. "I just noticed his name on the chart." Reminding her of what she's supposed to do, Swan starts to take his blood pressure and other tests.

Regina really hopes Swan knows not to get too attached to patients. If that baby randomly dies-it has happened before-it could really hurt her. She clears her throat and asks Emma when she gets off her shift.

"I get off at three today, but I'm also on call," Dr. Swan responds. She checks off something on a chart then puts it back. "I'm going to go check on another patient."

Regina nods. "When you're done with that, prep Mr. Krosan for surgery."

Emma stills, reluctance edging through her before she gives a sharp nod and leaves without another word. Regina smirks to herself. She loves pissing off interns. Something about it is just so satisfying.

Shaking her head and lightly chuckling, she leaves the nursery. She just happens to past the ER when she's being pulled into a new patient. "Nine year old girl, had one seizure at school and currently now," an EMT says to her.

"Get me diazepam!" she shouts at a couple nurses. "Okay, on the count of three," she instructs two EMTs. "One. Two. Three." They lift her onto the bed, and Regina quickly admits the diazepam. "Alright, what do we know?"

"Not much," answers an EMT. " But the mother is on her way. Oh, there she is now." He points at a tall blonde who just burst through the door. She looks around quickly before spotting Regina and running over to her.

"How's my daughter?" she demands.

"We stopped the seizing for now but it's too early to tell. Has she had a past with seizures?"

The mother shakes her head back and forth in rapid, fast moving movements. "No! She was perfectly fine."

"Okay then, we're going to have to run some tests. Right now, we're going to move her into a room and you need to sign her in."

The mother nods, barely paying attention to the word Regina says. "Thank you."

Regina nods and moves the daughter to a room. As she starts to to take blood, she inquires a bit about the patient. Her name is Marissa, she's nine, and she loves puppies.

"Oh, Swan." As she leaves the room, intent on running the tests herself, she passes by Dr. Swan. "Here. Run these for me."

Swan bites her lip, but accepts the tests. "Sure."

A smirk finds its way on Regina's lips as she walks down the hall. She's starting to get a feeling that Swan doesn't like her that much and honestly, it makes her feel good.

~()~

When Regina gets the tests results back, her guts sinks. Not because there's something wrong with the results, but because there isn't. She'll have to go to the big tests now, which means ordering Swan to start up an MRI. Dr. Black stands next to her, watching as Swan instructs the nine year old to be very still.

"She looks like a good intern," Maleficent notes.

Regina shrugs. "She's okay." Which is true, but Regina also doesn't have a lot of room to judge. She's only known her interns for a few days, and that's no where enough time to make judgment. So far they all made a few mistakes, and they all have a lot of things to learn, but they also have the potential to be good doctors.

Dr. Black laughs and Regina can't help but smile at it. Maleficent's laugh was always pretty. Then she has to force herself not to think of that, because that brings up old, painful memories and she's still not ready to go there.

But Maleficent always had a knack for knowing what Regina was thinking of. She says softly, "My interns were never as good as you. I was always so jealous that Dr. Evans had you."

Regina feels her throat constrict so she forces herself to watch Swan explain how the machine works. "But you had me in your own way," Regina whispers and then immediately wishes she hadn't.

Maleficent gives her a look and then looks away quickly. "Regina, I-"

"I know." Regina cuts her off because she can't go through this again. She knows the whole drill by now. It had hurt when Maleficent said she just wanted to be friends with benefits, didn't want to pursue a romantic relationship. She wanted to continue the sex but Regina couldn't. She couldn't because she had found herself in love with Maleficent. And why shouldn't she? Maleficent was pretty. She was smart. Regina had looked up to her. Maleficent had taught her so many things, and, at the end, that included how to break a heart.

Because as cheesy as that sounded, Maleficent did break Regina's heart. Regina had fallen in love with Maleficent, but Maleficent had only wanted a physical relationship. She just wanted sex. That was okay at first. That was their agreement, after all. But Regina shouldn't have ever said yes. She knew that it had a good percent of ending badly. But god, Regina had craved attention and there Maleficent was, ready and willing to give it to her.

Regina really shouldn't be thinking about this though, because she can feel ice in her stomach as she remembers the way Maleficent had said she didn't love Regina back.

And then, Regina thinks, I was so upset I went to Robin's house and ended up sleeping with him.

"I'm sorry I brought it up," Maleficent says.

"It's okay."

It's not okay, not really. It's just reminds her of all the pain in her past. Her stomach actually starts to hurt. (Past memories start to fly in her head and she wants to stop them. It hurts. It makes her think of what could have happened.

Regina doesn't do it a lot, doesn't think of the "what could have happened" because no matter what, what could have happened won't happen. But now she thinks of a future relationship with Maleficent. She knows they never would have married, even if they perused a romantic relationship. Maleficent just wasn't the marrying type. Despite that though, Regina imagines rough sex but gentle kisses. Maleficent would pretend to be a cold heartless dragon, but she would be so soft and caring with Henry.

All of this starts to make her think of what could have happened with Daniel and even Robin. This is too dangerous. She never lets herself think of this, not even when she's by herself and she can't sleep.

Regina forces herself to look away and to breathe deeply. She can't think of this anymore.

"Hey, so Marissa is all ready." Swan pauses at the door before striding in. "Let's get started."

If she noticed the tension, she obviously didn't mention it. Regina almost sends her a smile but doesn't. (Hell, she could have kissed her.) Instead she looks at the computer as images slowly start to fill the screen.

Maleficent curses as she clicks on an image. Regina sighs as she sees the giant inoperable tumor.

Swan takes a look for herself and frowns. She can read it's a tumor but she's having a hard time distinguishing between operable and inoperable. "I, uh, can't tell if that's operable or not." She flushes red but it's perfectly understandable for an intern.

"Is it big?" Regina asks.

"Um, yes."

"Where's it located?"

Swan's eyes narrow in on the screen, before falling back, her cheeks red. "It's inoperable." It's not a question, but Regina still answers anyway.

Regina nods. "Yes." She turns to Maleficent and thanks the attending for her time. Maleficent gives a sad, "Of course," and leaves. Regina tells Swan to take Marissa to her room and get her mother over.

"Then," Regina instructs, "gently tell the two Marissa's tumor is inoperable."

Swan's mouth opens a little bit and she takes a small stumble back. "Me? You want me to tell them?"

Regina nods, hating this lesson the most. "Yes. You're an intern. You're here to learn. You have to learn how to gently let down family and patients." She can see the terror in Swan's eyes and Regina briefly remembers her lesson on this topic. "Be gentle, but not too much. You have to show sympathy, but not to much. This is your first time and I'm not going to lie. Many residents tell interns not too cry, but I think that's not right. Everybody cries their first time telling someone they're going to die, or telling a family member the patient had died. You're going to cry, but try to hold it in as much as you can."

"I don't think I will cry," Dr. Swan argues.

Regina almost snorts. Instead she gives Swan a look. "Just don't get too attached, Dr. Swan. Be careful, be sympathetic, but most importantly, be professional."

Swan stands there for a few moments after Regina has stopped talking, before swiftly turning and leaving the room, her white coat flaring up after her.

Ten minutes later, Regina sees Swan in the cafeteria, trying not to cry as she talks with Blanchard. Regina can't hear the conversation, but she can tell in Emma's body language that she's telling Blanchard about what she just did.

(I don't think I will cry.)

Yeah, they all say that.