Disclaimer: I own nothing. This was supposed to be posted on Wednesday but shit got away from me; have some Bee's Schnee ridiculousness, based on a title suggestion from Twin3: Weiss is the new Blake. Slight NSFW warning for the setting. Just a bit more silliness.
Weiss took a deep, steadying breath and pushed it out slowly, valiantly trying to fight her impulse to bolt for the door. This was ridiculous and how she allowed herself to be talked into this was beyond her comprehension. She must've been drunk or drugged or in some altered state of mind to think this was a good idea much less agree to it for a multitude of reason. Not least of which was grinding on a pole not six feet in front of her.
"Having fun yet?" She nearly jumped, turning her head to scowl at the blonde sitting beside her and ignoring how positively at ease the woman looked sitting on the couch.
It was one thing for Yang, her dubious friend for a number of years, to invite her anywhere; while the blonde enjoyed loud, high energy establishments, Weiss preferred the calm air of a nice restaurant.
It was another thing for Yang to invite her out instead of Blake, the woman's girlfriend since before they'd met.
It was a whole universe of cans filled with worms for Yang to invite her to a strip club on couple's night while she was in disguise to protect her identity.
But, bar none, the most disturbing facet of this evening was that her chosen disguise… was to dress up as the tall, quiet vixen. On the blonde's suggestion, she might add, since Blake apparently refused to attend the establishment and Yang was tired of being teased about her potentially non-existent girlfriend. Which was good, because otherwise, anyone would be able to tell that Weiss was a good three inches too short to pass for Blake, despite the make-up, dark clothes, and black wig adorning her features.
Again, she must've been severely mentally impaired when she agreed to do this. There was no better explanation.
"I hardly see why I would be enjoying myself." She grumbled, trying to sink further into the couch. Which… well, wasn't true at all, seeing as they were effectively surrounded by gorgeous women; there were plenty of reasons she'd be enjoying herself. Except, of course, that one of the most beautiful women Weiss had ever met… was sitting beside her. And she was dressed up as the other one.
How did her life become this? This… absolutely awful mess?
"Aw, loosen up, Blakey!" Yang laughed, knocking back another shot of god-knows-what. "I finally drag you out here and you're not even going to humor me?"
And wasn't that a dagger in the heart. While she acknowledged that it made her a patently horrible person in the back of her mind, Weiss staunchly refused to focus on that. It wasn't her fault that she was attracted to two women who were dating each other… except that maybe it was? It was out of her control at any rate and she'd maintained a respectful distance from both of them because of that.
Until tonight, of course.
"You know this isn't really 'my thing', Yang," she replied, taking a sip of her water. Whatever state of inebriation had brought her into this wonderful mess, she wasn't keen on repeating it.
"Don't be a- oh, hello." Lilac eyes gleamed with mischievous intent as one of the many, many beautiful strippers sauntered their way. "Hey, beautiful."
"Hello." The stripper smiled, smoothly sitting in the blonde's lap and throwing a teasing smirk at Weiss. "So, this is the mysterious girlfriend, huh?"
"Yeah." Yang glanced her way and there was no way that what was about to happen could classify as 'good' by any stretch of the imagination. "Hey, about putting on a little show for us?"
The stripper smiled, leaning forward slightly and teasing a kiss that never happened. "Don't mind if I do."
Weiss fought to keep the scowl from her face. Blake might have no issues with her girlfriend going to places like these but Weiss sure as hell did… but seeing as Yang wasn't her girlfriend, she supposed she didn't have a leg to stand on, really.
Damnit.
As a new song kicked on, the stripper began rocking her body to the beat, allowing the blonde to lightly run her hands across every inch of skin exposed by her skimpy lingerie. Weiss gripped her glass harder, using every single ounce of her impressive self control to not physically remove the woman from Yang's lap. It wasn't that she was jealous…
… Okay, yeah, she was fucking jealous.
On the one hand, she wanted to be the one grinding against Yang, allowing her lips to skim the woman's ear, relishing her touch across her body. She couldn't do that as Weiss but she could while pretending to be Blake. No one else would question why the blonde's girlfriend suddenly felt the need to invade her space after such a display, but Yang would know the truth and, thus, the whole thing would be nothing more than an act. A lie.
Damnit, why did she think this was a good idea?
The stripper let out a breathy little gasp and Weiss had half a mind to throttle the woman on pure principle. Wasn't this technically cheating? It sure as hell felt like cheating. Which would make her an accomplice… fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!
"Hey, baby, how about a private dance?" The stripper threw a decidedly challenging look at Weiss as the song wound down before fixing an alluring expression as Yang looked up.
"Hmmm, now that sounds like fun." Lilac eyes danced her way, accompanied by a silly grin that she was half tempted to either slap or kiss away. It was a toss up. "What'd'ya say, sweetheart. Can I get a private dance?"
She'd rehearsed this particular answer. Yang had warned her that this would come up. Very explicitly. And she'd prepared, because she was Weiss fucking Schnee and preparation was her primary skill. But when the moment of truth came, she couldn't hold her emotions in check nearly as well as she'd hoped.
"It's fine." She averted her gaze, pretending to be engrossed in the dancer on the stage.
Yang didn't buy it, worriedly sending the stripper off to the next customer while scooting closer to her date for the night. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine Yang." Weiss took another drink of her water, wishing it was something stronger. "Go have fun."
"Hey, Weiss, seriously, what's up?" Damnit, now the blonde was worried, dropping their act and moving even closer. "Talk to me."
"You want to know what's up?" She unnecessarily slammed her glass on the table before them, moving before her mind could catch up with her actions. She couldn't do this anymore, couldn't stand being teased and taunted with innocent actions. It wasn't Yang's fault nor Blake's but she needed to do something for fear of imploding under the strain of keeping silent. In the blink of an eye, she was straddling the blonde's lap, utterly uninterested in whoever might be watching them at present. "You're driving me insane and it's not your fault, and Blake does too but it's not her fault either, and I can't sit here dressed up as her knowing I'll never be in her position, or yours, no matter how much I want to, and I want to kiss you, and her, and go on date nights, and read a book by the fireplace, and dance, and, yes, I want to fuck you and I want to fuck her, and it doesn't particularly matter to me which order any of those things occur in, quite frankly, because I know it will ever happen, and it's killing me."
Thankfully, she'd always been a singer of sorts in her spare time; the extra lung capacity was certainly helpful in getting all that out before her mind came to a screeching halt at what she'd just admitted. Before she had the chance to flee, however, Yang looped her arms around her slim waist, trapping her in the mortification she could feel setting in, blush rising in her cheeks that surely showed through her make-up.
"Wow. Well, glad you got all that out." Yang had that insufferable smile on her lips, the one that promised everything would be okay even when it quite clearly wouldn't. The blonde tilted her head, looking over the back of the couch. "What do you think, Blakey?"
Stunned, Weiss' gaze snapped up, coming face-to-face with the very woman she was currently parading as, amber eyes dancing with mirth as Blake leaned on the back of the couch.
"I think we should probably change venues." She reached out, gently cupping Weiss' cheek and brushing her thumb just under the scar that marred her left eye, hidden by the foundation. "As enticing as those suggestions are, I'd prefer to do them with Weiss and not my own reflection."
Yang snickered, running her hands up and down Weiss' back in soothing motions. "Alright, what'd'ya say, Princess?" She cocked her head to the side. "How about we go have a private dance of our own? Just the three of us?"
She probably looked like a fish right about now, trying to force sound through her throat as her jaw worked of its own accord. Finally, she managed a nod.
She wasn't sure how she got herself into this mess… but she had a feeling she wouldn't want to be getting out of it for a long while.
A/N: It's a trap (it's always a trap) and I have a low key fascination with strip clubs. I admit this.