A/N: I still don't own Twilight. Until next week!
Chapter 4 - Mates
Bella struggled to open her eyes, but it was hard because she was still so sleepy.
"There you go," a soft, familiar voice said right next to her. The owner of that voice—she knew him, she wanted to see him. With an effort she managed to open her eyes and looked straight into Jasper's face. His eyes were worried, but he smiled when he saw that she was awake.
"Welcome back, Bella."
She yawned and tried to stretch, but her left arm seemed to be much heavier than she remembered. She looked at it and realized that her forearm was in a cast. She frowned as she tried to remember and looked around. She was in her own bed in her suite, if you could call any of it hers. Jasper straightened up from where he had been leaning over her and then sat down in a chair that was right beside her bed. He gently took her right hand between both of his, and she marveled at his touch. His strong hands were so gentle despite their hardness, and his touch felt soothing. She didn't understand why he would do that, though, and she turned her head so she could look at him. The curtains were halfway drawn but let in some tendrils of sunshine, and she could just make out his handsome face and kind eyes. Why was he here?
"What happened?" she said with a low, sleepy voice.
"What is the last thing you remember?" he asked, and reached forward to smooth a lock of her hair from her forehead.
Bella frowned, both from his confusing touch and from trying to remember. There had been the trial, some talking, and then …
She gasped. "Edward! He attacked me." Her eyes grew wide with astonishment before she seemed to remember something else. "There was a roar. I've never heard anything like it, and then you were there. Was that you? Did you save me?"
Jasper gave a small smile. "I did. Peter and Charlotte are very sorry that they didn't anticipate Edward's move. I have already berated them for it. And I'm sorry too that I had to leave you just then."
Bella shook her head and smiled in return—it was hard not to. "Well, it was quite an amazing show, what little I saw. There is nothing to apologize for, Jasper. Who could have guessed what he planned to do?"
"I should have. He's desperate for your blood, Bella. Of course he would try to take it before you were changed."
Bella looked at her broken arm again. It ached. Then her tummy rumbled and she blushed.
"How long was I out?" she wondered.
"A little more than twenty-four hours. Carlisle will be here in an hour or so to check on you, and he wanted you awake for that, so I woke you."
Bella frowned as she tried to piece information together. "You kept me sedated? With your gift?"
Jasper nodded. "It's a lot safer than with ordinary drugs." He smiled again, and Bella felt safe and content. She got a disturbing urge to get out of bed, climb into his lap, and hug him, just so she could be closer to him. She closed her eyes briefly and fought the silly notion off.
"Carlisle and Rose set your arm and then put it in a cast, and you didn't feel a thing. I'm going to let Charlotte in here so she can help you get dressed. There will be food waiting for you." He let go of her hand, and she felt a strange sting of pain in her chest. It had to be from her arm, some muscle or another that had been sprained in the attack. He disappeared out of the room and Charlotte entered.
There was a brunch waiting for Bella when she had showered and gotten dressed, and she ate pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. She washed it down with large quantities of orange juice; she was parched. Charlotte kept her company and answered all the questions she had about what had happened, but Jasper didn't show, and she found herself missing his company. Suddenly she could hear his voice—it came from the study adjacent to the dining room. She raised her eyebrows at Charlotte in a question.
"He's on the phone with Felix and Demetri. They're on a mission. He only left your side once in the last day and night."
Bella chewed her eggs and swallowed, feeling a little bewildered. He hadn't left her? This was only getting stranger. He must have other things to tend to besides a broken human. Still, she felt warmth spread inside her at the notion that maybe he cared about her. The door to the study opened, and Jasper entered the dining room. He was still on the phone.
"No, call Peter. He will be in charge now. Good luck." Jasper hung up and put the phone in his pocket. He was as usual dressed in all black: black, fitted shirt, black trousers, and black shoes. Bella felt underdressed in his elegant presence, wearing jeans and a sweater that was large enough to let her cast through. At least Charlotte had helped her to brush her hair. Jasper looked at her. His gaze was intense, and Bella averted her eyes as she felt a blush creep up her cheeks.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
She dared another look at him. He looked absolutely gorgeous, and he was smiling at her. She returned the smile. "Yes, thank you. The food really helped."
He sat down in the chair opposite Charlotte. "You can be sure that Edward will never be allowed near you again as long as you are still human."
Bella frowned and looked at her cast again. "I thought it had been decided, so why am I still human?"
Charlotte and Jasper exchanged a look, and Jasper sighed.
"It's my fault. When I first came here I recommended that the Kings refrain from changing anyone until they've turned eighteen. It saves everyone a lot of trouble."
"Saves everyone a lot of trouble how?" Bella asked, wanting a real answer.
"How much do you know about the change and newborns?"
"Not much," Bella admitted.
"I will tell you my story later," Jasper said. "But for now, trust me when I tell you I know a lot about newborns. To change someone before they are fully grown and fully … emotionally mature is asking for problems. Newborns are stronger and faster than mature vampires, but they are also completely guided by their emotions and feelings."
Bella nodded. "Like a hormonal teenager on speed," she concluded, and both Jasper and Charlotte laughed.
"Very aptly put, Bella. Yes. But you can avoid some of it if you just hold off the change for a couple of years."
"So I have to wait another four months? Really? Because seventeen and a half isn't enough?" Jasper made a grimace. "I'm sorry."
Bella shrugged. "Well, at least it gives me some time to do stuff I guess." She moved the last of her eggs around her plate and kept her face down. After a little while she straightened up again. "How are the Cullens? And how's Edward?"
Jasper's eyes darkened as she mentioned Edward's name.
"Edward is being put back together," Charlotte said. "It takes a while when there are so many pieces." She cocked an eyebrow at Jasper, and he glared back at her. "And as for the rest of them, ask Carlisle. He's just outside." As she finished there was a knock on the door.
Carlisle gave Bella a thorough check-up and gave her some pain-medication she could take if she needed it. He also explained that it was a very clean break so it should heal without a problem. She could still look forward to at least three weeks in a cast and then another three weeks in a brace.
When she asked, Carlisle told her that the rest of the family was quite shocked. Aro had read them all. It had been an unpleasant process, but it was deemed that none of them had anything to do with Edward's crime. He had even managed to block Alice out. It seemed that he had used his gift and his uncanny skill at dazzling both humans and vampires to keep everyone in the shadows. The judgment on Edward would be passed when he was able to attend, which should be a couple of more days. Then Carlisle left, and Bella sat on the couch in the sitting room. Charlotte and Jasper exchanged some very quick words. Charlotte left as well, and Jasper came to sit down beside her. He took her uninjured hand in both of his again, but his eyes were worried and anxious. Bella didn't understand why, and she was surprised by his closeness.
"Bella, I … I have to talk to you."
She didn't say anything but waited. It was odd to see Jasper like this, insecure and even nervous. He was usually steady as a rock and a picture of calm. She started to get worried.
"This is … Oh, why is this so hard!" he hissed between his teeth, and then he suddenly rose and was by the window before she could even blink. He looked out while he ran one of his hands through his golden hair. Despite her worry, Bella suddenly wondered what that would feel like. His hair looked very soft. She bit down on her bottom lip and pushed the thoughts away. Then she cleared her throat.
"What is it, Jasper? You seem so worried."
He turned and looked at her. Her eyes were wide and bewildered, and he could feel that she was worried—but also the never wavering trust she held for him. He found that calming, and he knew he just had to say it straight up. There was no way around this, and truth be told he wanted her to understand. He did, however, also fear her reaction.
Slowly he walked back to the couch and sat down again, closer to her this time. She didn't shy away but stayed put and looked at him with those deep, brown eyes he had come to love.
"Bella, I don't know how to tell you this. I fear that you will run away when I do. But there are no more choices. You and I … You are my mate, Bella."
She gasped, but she didn't move. Her eyes widened but were still locked with his, and he could hear her heartbeat speed up and her breathing quicken. Her emotions went into turmoil, and he couldn't single one out; they were all mixed with one another. She was confused, she was surprised, and she was awed. To his relief there was no fear.
"I know this is a shock to you, Bella, but …" He didn't know how to continue. How he could tell her that he needed her, that he never could—never would—leave her ever again. How did you explain to someone that they were your perfect match, that they were a part of yourself now?
Yet again Bella surprised him. She slowly moved her right hand up to his cheek and gently caressed his cold skin. Her touch was amazing and burning hot, and he leaned into it.
"That does explain a lot," she whispered. "Have you known for long?"
He shook his head. "No. I found out at the trial. Do you remember when I asked you if you wanted me to help you? I touched your shoulder, and you put your hand on mine."
She nodded.
"It was as if I was hit by lightning. It was suddenly all so clear. I couldn't understand why I hadn't seen it before."
"You didn't say anything." Her statement was just that, a statement. She didn't accuse or question, but he wanted to explain. It was vital that she knew everything.
"I couldn't. If I had, you would've been in even greater danger than you already were."
Bella raised her eyebrows. Now she was questioning, and he could feel her curiosity.
"I have to tell you about me, but I'm afraid it's not a pretty story."
She reached out her hand and took his. Her touch was soothing to him, and he started to tell her his story.
He told her about how he had enrolled in the Confederate Army by lying about his age, how he rose through the ranks and became a major at the age of twenty. He told her about how he met Maria and her two compatriots and how he was turned. He told her about how he had come to use his gift to control their army, how he had turned both Peter and Charlotte, and how the three of them maneuvered themselves into positions of command. He told her about the cruel and merciless deeds they had done, how Maria had tortured him and used him, and how in the last decade or so of the Wars it had been the three of them, and not Maria, who actually controlled their army and their lands. Still, they hadn't been able to leave. They wouldn't have survived traveling through the south without an army, and they couldn't bring the army with them.
He finally told her about the day the Volturi had come for them and how all three of them had seen it as a way out from a life they all hated.
"We became employed in the service of the Volturi, members of the Guard, and we quickly moved up the ranks. The Guards were fewer then and not that well organized. It was Caius who was their leader, but he had very much lost interest. So, one day, Aro gave me the title of Captain of the Guard and let me do whatever I wanted with it. I did a thorough 'weeding' and I stepped on a lot of toes, but today the Guard truly serves its purpose."
Bella hadn't let her eyes wander from him during his long tale, and she was awed. He had survived so much and had always come out the victor.
"And it's those wounded toes you are worried about?"
He sighed. "Yes, but not only them. I made a lot of enemies back in the Vampire Wars too, enemies who are still alive. As my mate, you will be in the sight of all of them. I will be a lot calmer when you are changed."
Bella decided to be brave and do something she had wanted to do for some time now. Carefully she moved up in his lap and leaned into his chest. She could feel him stiffen slightly, but he continued to breath steadily. She took a deep breath, marveling at his scent. He smelled like leather and sunshine, like the desert of her childhood home and the lightest hint of spices. It was intoxicating, and she moved her face to be at the crook of his neck so she could smell him even better. He leaned his cheek on the top of her head and let out a content sigh. His strong, hard arms encircled her, making her feel safe and protected, and suddenly she heard the strangest but also most comforting sound. It was like a very low and soft growl, but it was in no way hostile and it came from his chest. She didn't say anything, but leaned her head on his shoulder and listened and enjoyed the moment.
As her eyes wandered over his neck and strong chin she noticed something odd. There seemed to be faint lines in some places, crescent silvery lines that crossed each other and created an almost feathery pattern. She suddenly felt alarmed when she realized what it must be. She sat up straight, and traced one of the marks on his chin. Then she met his eyes, they were pained and anxious.
"Are those … are those scars?" she asked with a low voice.
"Yes." His voice was strained but she didn't understand why.
"Was that in the Wars? Do they hurt? Are there more?" The questions rushed out of her mouth before she could stop them. She was worried about him and needed to know that he was fine.
"They're from the Wars mostly, and no, they don't hurt." He swallowed. "Yes, there are more."
Bella had found more scars that peaked up from below his collar, and touched them with her fingers.
"I thought nothing could scar a vampire," she stated, but it was really a question. Jasper could feel that. He was relieved that she felt no disgust or fear of him still, but that might yet come when she saw just how scarred he was. She was curious and worried, though.
"Only venom scars us." Then he sighed. He had decided to be honest with her in all things, and she deserved to know who he was. He reached around her and un-cuffed one of his cufflinks, and then started to fold up his sleeve. His forearm was riddled with scars; in some places there were more scars than unharmed skin.
Bella watched as he dropped the golden cufflink on the low table in front of them and then rolled up his sleeve. She carefully let her fingers trace over his strong, wiry muscles and felt them move under his skin as he turned his arm at her will. The scars made small dips in his skin in some places, where there were too many of them to even make out. She was awed. To survive that must have been hell on earth—all that fighting and all that suffering. She looked up at him again and met his worried eyes.
"My god, Jasper. It must have been horrible." Without thinking she reached up and kissed him on his cheek. A smile slowly spread on his face as he took in her emotions. He could feel her awe toward him, how impressed she was, and how proud she was of him. It was more than he ever could have asked for, and it was as if a huge knot he didn't even know he had in his chest dissolved. He hugged her close to him and kissed her on the crown of her head.
"Thank you, Bella," he whispered as he breathed in her scent of strawberries and flowers. She enjoyed another long moment of complete contentment before her mind started to work again.
"So what happens now? Will I stay here? What does this … mating actually entail? I mean, Esme has told me some but …" Her voice trailed of, and he could actually feel her blush through his shirt as her cheek grew warmer against his chest.
"You will stay here for now. I know that Aro will make it publicly known when the judging of Edward takes place. Until then I will try my hardest to stay with you. It's safer for you if no one else knows until then. Where the mating is concerned, you can ask me anything." He felt her unease and embarrassment rise, and he realized that maybe he wasn't the best person for the job in all matters. She was still a young woman after all.
"Or you can talk to Charlotte or Peter. They both know about us. I really can't hide anything from them."
"What about Esme? She has been like a mother to me. I don't think I can hide this from her."
Jasper frowned but then sighed a little.
"Well, I don't think that Esme would pose a threat," he said in approval.
She felt content again, and he buried his nose in her hair. He just couldn't get enough of her scent.
"So," she asked again. "This other matter that you are so involved in, can you tell me what it is? Should I be worried about you?"
He raised his head, and she straightened up but stayed in his lap.
"I can tell you, but you mustn't talk to anyone else about it except Peter and Charlotte, okay?"
She nodded, and he continued.
"There are a few different factions in the vampire world. The Volturi are one faction, the largest one, and we try to uphold the one law there is—as you well know. There is also a rather large faction in Japan, but we rarely hear anything from them. They keep some order in Asia, but mostly they keep to themselves. They have a very rigid clan-system going on that no outsider has ever understood.
"Then there is a rather large coven in northern Russia, but they aren't really a force. They meddle in shamanistic stuff and blood magic, at least that's what I've heard. They are apparently rather weird, and they never cause any real trouble. There are two covens in Africa that are rather large, and one in South America.
"But then there are the Romanians." He sighed and almost looked forlorn.
Bella tilted her head slightly and put her hand on his cheek. He turned his head and pressed his lips against her palm, and she shuddered at the contact. It felt very nice.
He sighed again before he spoke. "The Romanians are almost as old as the three Kings. They never hid what they were, and during the middle ages they rose to great power. They let people come to them for advice and trade, and made no excuses when they had villages razed so they could feed. They were feared. The Volturi interfered, crushed their power and smoked them out of their castles. Most of them were killed, but there are still two alive that just won't quit: Vladimir and Stefan. Now they have yet again gathered their forces and threaten to expose us all."
Bella frowned. "What's their goal? To overthrow the Volturi?"
"That's only a part of their plan—a necessary part, but still just a part. They want to expose us, our existence, to the humans and then enslave the humans to be used as cattle. They aim to rule with fear as they once did, but at a much grander scale."
Bella's eyes widened, and Jasper could see her sharp mind working.
"But have they even read the human history? I mean, there have been some awful dictators ruling in the world, but there have always been rebellion and mayhem. There has always been a way to freedom. Do they really think they would succeed?"
"Oh yes, they do. They also gather gifted people to them, just like we do here. There's a fair amount of vampires who share their views on humanity. They firmly believe that vampires are above humans in every aspect and that vampires were put on this earth to rule them and use them. The Volturi do not agree with this view. They have yet again managed to rally some troops, and we just got wind of it."
Bella frowned. "I can see why that would take your focus. I guess that they are a priority whenever they show their ugly heads?"
"Yes. We are constantly hunting them, but Vladimir and Stefan are two especially slippery eels to catch. Maybe we'll get them this time." His smile was confident, and she couldn't help but return it.
They spent the next couple of hours talking and getting to know one another a little bit more. He told her more about himself, and she talked about her family: her father Charlie and her mother Renée, where she had lived, and why she had moved to Forks. Then his phone rang, and when he looked at the display he sighed and answered.
"Yes?" Bella had been leaning on him as they sat on the sofa, him in the corner and her snuggled up against him. She couldn't hear the voice on the other end, but suddenly he sat up straight, making her sit up as well.
"Are you sure?" Pause. "Yes, of course." Another pause. "No, I'll deal with it." He hung up and looked at her.
"Bella, I'm so sorry. I have to get to the Guard's office and see to some things. I will have to take both Peter and Char with me. There will be two others guarding your door. They're named Allison and Patrick, and you can trust them. I do."
She nodded, and he stood up from the couch. With a crooked smile, he leaned down, pressed a kiss on her cheek, and then he was gone. Bella sighed at the quiet and empty rooms and internally cursed the Romanians.
It wasn't all bad that he had left, though. It gave her some time to think. Edward had declared—and apparently lied about—them being mates. It hadn't felt anything special to her as he had done so, and he had explained that it was because she was still human. She had asked Esme, and her vampire-mother had told her about the mating instinct, how strong it was and how amazing it was to find your mate. Esme had also talked about what it entailed when it came to being together, the need to be close to your mate, to really mate with them.
What she felt now made her begin to understand what Esme had been talking about. When Jasper wasn't around, everything went gray. She craved his company and his touch, and the latter part had her worried. She had never been with anyone before; did Jasper expect that of her now? That she would just yield to him and do whatever he wanted? She shuddered. It wasn't the fact that he wasn't handsome or that she wasn't attracted to him—because she was, no idea to pretend otherwise—she just wasn't sure she was ready for that. The fact that her whole life was upturned and changed still pressed on her mind and didn't help at all. She knew there would be more tears to be shed for everything she had lost, before she had gotten the handle on it. To find out that she had a vampire mate on top of all that didn't really make things easier.
The evening came, but there was no sign of Jasper. She didn't like it, but she did understand. The Romanians sounded like a real threat, and it was his job to deal with it. She had put her head out the door in the afternoon to greet her new watchers. It was the man and woman she had seen Jasper talk to in the great hall at the trial. They were both very polite but made it clear that they would not befriend her the way Peter and Charlotte had. After reading some, she had crawled to bed alone, feeling a little abandoned.
She startled awake in the middle of the night and sat straight up. She didn't know what had woken her, but that smell … She inhaled deeply and there was a low chuckle. The lamp on the nightstand clicked and let its warm, golden light flow over his tall frame as he lay on the bed next to her. His head and shoulders were propped up against the headboard, and his long legs stretched out in front of him. He was on top of the comforter, and he had a black T-shirt on instead of his usual shirt. He had on black jeans, but he was barefoot. Her eyes roamed up his body until she met his smiling gaze, and she drew a breath of relief.
"I'm sorry I woke you, honey. I should've put the damn phone on the floor." He made a gesture at it where it sat on the nightstand, still vibrating and making a noise. She smiled at him and lay back beside him, resting on his shoulder and securely swaddled in the comforter.
"I'm glad you came back," she said and snuggled closer to his stone chest.
He leaned down and took a deep breath in her hair. "Wild horses couldn't keep me away," he said with a low voice that sent shivers through her body in pleasure.
"I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier. There was a lot to handle."
She nodded and yawned. She hadn't slept well. Her dreams had been haunted by memories of Charlie and her friends, all crying and calling for her.
"I understand. Some day you have to tell me more about them. The Romanians, I mean, and then I will help you hunt them." She closed her eyes and put a hand on his chest. He chuckled again and kissed her on her hair. It didn't take long for her breaths to even out and her emotions to soften, and he gently stroked the bare skin on her arm with his thumb. She was so precious to him, and it had been physically painful for him to be away from her. Unfortunately, he had his work cut out for him right now, so he had to be grateful for the moments he could get with her.
When Bella woke up she was alone again. She sighed softly, but smiled when his scent still lingered on the pillows. When she sat up she realized that there was a folded piece of paper next to her, together with a necklace. She took the thin silver chain and looked at it. It was plain, but on it hung a ring of gold with a blue stone set on the delicate filigree band. She guessed it could be a sapphire; it twinkled and sparkled enough to be fancy. She frowned as she unfolded the note. His handwriting was bold and clear, yet elegant.
"Bella, my love,
I had to run off again, to my own dismay, but never doubt my devotion to you. I look forward to the day when you can help me hunt these bastards down even though it will mean that I no longer can hear you say my name in your sleep, and that will be a loss.
I want you to have this ring. My mother gave it to me as I stole away from my home to join the war, defying my father's wishes. It is the ring he gave to her when he asked for her hand in marriage. Even though I can definitely see an arrangement like that in our future, it is not what I am asking you now. I merely want you to keep this piece of me as yours, so that I may always be close to your heart and mind.
I will be with you as soon as I can.
Yours forever,
J."
Bella had to swallow as she read the note again. This must be one of the very few pieces he had left of his human life—if his story was anything to go by—and he had gifted it to her. She felt her eyes tear up, but at the same time she smiled. The chain was rather long for her, so she could thread it over her head easily, and she decided not to take it off again unless it was absolutely necessary.
When she emerged from her bedroom—newly showered and dressed—she was happily surprised to find Charlotte waiting for her. Without hesitation Bella walked over to her and hugged her. Charlotte smiled and hugged her back.
"It's so nice to see you, Charlotte. I missed you yesterday." Bella sat down by the table and Charlotte joined her.
"Yeah, I missed you too, Bella. You are easy company, and you almost make me feel human again." Charlotte smiled brightly at her. "But I think the Major explained how serious this is, right?"
Bella nodded with her mouth full of toast.
"I can't stay for long, but I bring gifts," Charlotte continued. Bella raised her eyebrows at her as the blonde woman smiled yet again and handed her a box. Bella wiped her hands on her napkin, and pushed her plate aside to make room for it on the table. It wasn't overly large, wrapped in green paper with a black velvet ribbon tied around it. Bella frowned. She had always had a hard time accepting people spending money on her, and she really didn't wish for anything else than Jasper at this moment. She looked up at Charlotte again.
"What is this? I haven't asked for anything."
"Don't worry, Bella. It's from Jasper. Open it." Bella hesitantly untied the bow and unwrapped the box. When she opened the lid her eyes widened. Inside was a beautiful, large notebook, bound in brown leather and with a swirl pattern embossed in gold. The paper inside was thick and lined in dark brown. Beside it was a small etui, and she opened that as well. It held a black and gold pen that looked really expensive. She took it up and held it; it had a really nice weight to it. She looked up at Charlotte again and raised her eyebrows.
"Jasper figured you might want to write down your life. You know, so you can read about it after you are changed. None of us had that opportunity, and we don't remember much of it. It's something I know I miss." Bella looked at the book and pen again, and a smile spread on her face. Her mate had known exactly what to give her to ease her stress and to keep her mind occupied while he was gone.
When Bella was finished with breakfast, she looked at Charlotte and cleared her throat.
"Can I … Can I ask you something, Charlotte?"
Charlotte didn't know exactly what was going on, but Bella was blushing.
"Of course, Bella. What is it?"
Bella looked down on her hands and fidgeted with the hem of her T-shirt. Charlotte waited patiently.
"This mating, does that mean … I mean, does he expect me to, you know, sleep with him?" Realization dawned on Charlotte, and she reached over to put her cold hand over Bella's warm ones. "Oh, Bella, you don't have to worry! He would never, and I mean never, do anything to you that you wouldn't want him to. He's a gentleman, Bella. Trust me."
Bella still had her eyes averted. "But I'm his mate. Isn't it expected?"
"If you were both vampires, sure. The pull would've been too strong to resist. But you are still human, Bella, and he feels what you feel. Never forget that."
Bella looked up at her, her bottom lip between her teeth as she contemplated Charlotte's words.
"Is it even possible? I mean, he's a vampire and he's so strong. Edward was afraid to even kiss me because he might hurt me."
Charlotte couldn't help but growl at Bella's words, but smiled apologetically when Bella startled at the sound.
"Well, it requires some serious self control. Jasper has that, more so than most actually. He would be able to do it if you wanted him to. Besides he's your mate. He would never be able to hurt you. You will have the lead in this, and he will follow you. I promise." She fell silent for a minute, thinking about something, and then there came an odd gleam in her eyes. "And never mention that to Jasper, that Edward kissed you. He would tear him apart. For good this time."
Bella poured over her book the whole morning—even while she ate lunch—writing down everything she remembered of her life. She wrote about her earliest memories of her mom and dad, of her summers in Forks and La Push, of her school years in Phoenix, and her mother's adventures into all her different pastimes. She cried a lot remembering it all, but she was so grateful that Jasper had thought of this so she wouldn't lose it.
Just after lunch there was a knock at the door and Allison came in.
"Miss Swan? There is an Esme Cullen here to see you. Will you allow her in?"
Bella rolled her eyes, and she noted the very British accent that Allison had.
"Yes, please. And call me Bella."
Allison frowned. "I'm not sure that the Major would appreciate us calling you by your first name, miss Swan." Then she made a small bow and let Esme in before she closed the door behind her. Esme looked after the tall woman with raised eyebrows and then walked over to Bella where she sat on the couch. Bella hoped it didn't show too much that she had been crying, but Esme looked concerned when she sat down next to her.
"Bella? Are you alright?"
"Yes, I am."
Esme carefully reached over to stroke her cheek and then suddenly leaned in closer and took a deep breath. There was a confused look at her face as she sat up straight again, and her eyebrows rose high.
"Why do you smell like the Major?" she asked, sounding every bit as surprised as she looked.
Bella blushed and averted her eyes. She knew she had no way of fooling Esme, and she wasn't sure she wanted to. Esme had been like a mother to her, and to be truthful Bella had missed her. She cleared her throat and looked up at Esme's soft and now slightly worried face.
"Ehm, it turns out I'm his mate."
Esme gasped and her eyes widened. "Oh my, that was unexpected! No wonder he has been so protective of you and kept you here …" She leaned over and put her arms around Bella, hugging her tight. When she released her she looked straight into Bella's eyes.
"How do you feel about that?" she asked.
Bella's eyes shone and the blush intensified, as a small smile appeared on her lips.
"Very good. He's so … He's nothing at all what I expected. He's become my calm in the storm that I'm going through right now. And he's so kind and so gentle. He gave me this to write down my human life in." She held up the book, and Esme returned her smile despite the twinge of worry that rose in her. Jasper Whitlock was one of the most fearsome vampires alive, and his reputation preceded him. His appearance only confirmed his reputation; the scars made sure of that. She herself had never met him before the day he and his Guard had shown up in Forks, but she had heard enough from Carlisle to know that the Major was a very dangerous man, in many different ways.
"That's very thoughtful of him," Esme said. "Has he told you about himself?"
Bella nodded and smiled, sensing Esme's worry. "He has, and he has been very open about his past. In fact, he has been adamant that I know the truth about him, what he has done and lived through, and what he does now."
Esme looked at her and saw her bright, brown eyes shining with happiness as she spoke about her mate, heard her voice that was clear and proud and loving, and she understood. She had been there herself—she was still there in a way—ever since the day when she had awakened to Carlisle's gentle and loving smile.
"I'm so happy for you, Bella. I truly am." Then she looked around. The Major's scent was strong but not fresh. "Where is he?"
Bella sighed and clutched the book to her chest. "He has to work. They have a situation they need to handle, the Guard I mean, and it's important. He has to do this. But he came to me last night, and he will be here when he can."
Esme looked at her and a small worried frown formed on her brow.
"Last night? Did he—"
Bella interrupted her with a smile and a quiet laughter. "Esme, you are truly like a mother to me. No, he just lay beside me while I slept, on top of the covers. He was gone when I woke up."
Esme laughed as well, feeling a little sheepish. "I'm sorry, Bella, it's really none of my business."
Bella reached for her and took her hand. "I don't mind, Esme, really. It makes me feel safe that you care. But you must keep this a secret."
Esme raised her eyebrows. "Why?"
"Because Jasper has enemies, and I'm his fragile human mate."
Esme clasped a hand over her mouth and her eyes widened. "Oh, of course. Goodness, Bella, are you all right with that?"
Bella shrugged. "Yeah. It will become public knowledge at the next hearing."
Esme looked around the room again. "So that's why you are still here and not in his quarters?"
Bella averted her eyes. "I think so," she said with a low voice. "Or maybe he just doesn't want a human around him."
Esme lifted said human onto her lap without effort and cradled her. "No, Bella, he wants you close, trust me. He's your mate. He's keeping you here to protect you." She could feel Bella starting to sob quietly and gently rocked her. Her intuition told her that this was not the only thing that had Bella crying though.
"How are you holding up, sweetie? There is a lot going on in your life."
Bella took a couple of deep breaths in an effort to calm down. "Right now it's not so good. Writing it all down gets me thinking about what I've left behind."
Esme nodded and continued to stroke her back to soothe her. "You have to give it time, Bella. It's a good idea, though, to write it down. It will give you closure." She was silent for a little while and when she continued her voice was distraught. "This is so unfair to you, and to think that Edward, my son, is the cause of this—" Esme's voice choked up, and Bella looked at her. Esme's face was a mask of sorrow and concern.
Bella managed a smile. "Don't feel bad about it, Esme. His actions brought me here, to Jasper, and for that I'm grateful."
Esme stayed the whole afternoon, and they talked and talked and talked. Bella had a thousand questions about being mated, and Esme was happy to be able to help her out and to make things clearer for her. Then they talked about Charlie and Forks, and Esme promised to gather all the pictures of Bella and her home that the family had. She made a mental note not to include any that had Edward present in them. The pictures would make a nice addition to the book.
Then Bella showed her the ring Jasper had given her, and the note that came with it, and Esme was moved by it. She didn't know Jasper, but there was definitely more to him than just his reputation and scarred appearance.
"Bella, this is a man that is completely devoted to you. You have to take care of him," she said and smiled at the girl.
A beautiful shade of pink colored Bella's cheeks as she smiled. "I know. I just don't know how to show him how much he means to me. I mean, I want to be close to him, but I'm just … Esme, I have no idea of what I'm doing here."
Esme smiled at her, a very motherly smile. "You are a beautiful young woman, Bella. And you are strong beyond belief. Take charge."
Bella looked at her with wide eyes but Esme just continued to smile. "I hear someone approaching, so I'll be leaving you now. Take care of yourself and your mate, Bella." She leaned down and kissed Bella on the cheek before she disappeared out the door.
Esme had heard correctly, and Jasper entered only a few seconds after she had left. He smiled as Bella rose and hugged him, and he was finally close to her again. The ache in his chest had been quite distracting during the day, but he had coped, and as he softly rubbed his hands over her back and held her close—breathing in her scent—the ache disappeared as if it had never existed in the first place. She made him whole. She dragged him over to the sofa and pushed him down, and then sat down in his lap. He managed to get his jacket off before he was down on the couch, and then his arms were full of his mate and he marveled at the feel of her warmth against his cool body.
"Thank you, Jasper. For everything. The ring is beautiful, and I'm so honored that you gave it to me. I know it must mean everything to you. And the book was just genius."
He leaned his head down a little so he could whisper right by her ear. "You mean everything to me, Bella."
She shivered as his cool breath caressed her ear and neck, and she closed her eyes as she inhaled his scent. He placed a gentle kiss on her hair, and was surprised when she turned her head so she could look him straight in the eyes.
"I mean it, Jasper. I'm so grateful for everything and for finding you." Her right hand came up and cupped his cheek, and he almost lost himself in her wide, brown eyes. Then she slowly leaned up and placed her lips on his.
It was close to overwhelming him, but he kept control and gently kissed her back. His inner beast roared for him to claim her and turn her, but he wouldn't. Her lips were so warm and soft, and he wanted to taste her, badly. Her emotions told him volumes while she was silent. He could feel her need for him to be close, and something he had never thought himself worthy of: her love. It made his head swirl and his thoughts fly in all directions, most of them toward Bella, her body, and her scent. But he could also hear Charlotte's voice in his mind from earlier in the day, and he would follow Bella's lead. He gently broke the kiss, knowing that she needed to breathe, and leaned his forehead to hers. She was panting and held her eyes closed, but she soon opened them and met his smiling eyes.
"Oh, that was nice," she said with a low voice.
"You can have as much as you want." He chuckled, and she blushed, as he knew she would. He would miss that.
She turned a little on his lap, rested her left arm and the cast on his shoulder, and placed her right around his neck. "I think I'd like that," she whispered and kissed him again. This time he dared to gently swipe at her bottom lip with his tongue, and she opened her lips to him. She tasted divine, and he showed her the art of really kissing someone. Before long, he knew he had to stop this or it would be all too evident that he wanted her. All of her. As if he was indeed being saved by the bell, there was a knock on the door, and Bella's dinner arrived.
While Bella ate, Jasper's phone rang, of course. She had really started to dislike that phone. She ate in silence while he spoke and dreamed herself back to the moments on the couch. Kissing Jasper took her to a whole new level of amazing, and she was starting to wrap her head around what that might entail for the future. She could feel her cheeks heat up as she contemplated the feel of his defined chest under her fingers, and the small groan that had slipped by his lips. No, she wouldn't mind a little exploring, not at all. And just as Charlotte and Esme had said, he seemed to be following her lead. She finished her plate of delicious pasta with shrimps and was ready to dig in on the dessert: strawberry and vanilla gelato* with fresh strawberries. Jasper hung up and sat down beside her in what had become his usual spot. He smiled when he saw her eye the dish.
"Is that any good?" he asked, and she smiled at him.
"Well you should know. You say I taste like strawberries, right?"
He leaned his head back and laughed. "Bella, if they taste anything like you, people would only be eating strawberries and nothing else. And, to be completely honest, I have a very vague memory of what they taste like. The scent, however …"
Bella blushed but smiled and took a bite of a berry. She was glad that she could make him laugh. Charlotte had told her that Jasper was a man that rarely smiled, let alone laughed, and that her arrival had changed that.
"Still, it's a shame that you can't taste them. These are really good." She sighed happily as she ate the rest of the ripe strawberry and the taste filled her mouth.
"Every human food tastes bad to vampires, so no thanks."
"Your loss, love." She continued to eat her ice cream, and didn't see how Jasper's eyes widened and grew warm at her words. She had called him "love".
*Italian ice cream that is fantastic
Thank you for reading.