Title: I want it all.
Summary: -
Authors Note: Can I just like hug all of you and wrap you up in a little bundle and carry you everywhere? I love you all, thanks so much. Uh, apart from Spoby, I ship Jaria, Hannily and Haleb so they'll probably be featured in this story. I've realized this is more of an Alison\mystery story at the moment than anything else, oops. I also really want Ezra to be A, so I'll be covering a lot of that.
Disclaimer: We don't have a spin off show with just spoby so I don't own Pretty Little Liars.
It burns.
It burns.
It burns.
But she has to work through the pain.
She has to keep on fighting.
She claws at her face and digs her fingernails into her skin.
And it burns.
It burns.
Flames are all around her but the one thing that matters is destroying this bitch once and for all.
She'll die.
Alison will make sure of it.
Her hands wring around the other girls neck, her fingers dig at the skin of her throat.
"I hate you," Alison whispers, each word laced with venom.
And Alison's hand connects with the girls face.
Her knuckles come back blue.
She kicks her feet into the kneecaps of the other girl.
And it hurts.
But,
She has to fight through it.
She pulls at the blonde hair, tears hard enough to have it come flying out.
And the girl in front of her is a sobbing, screaming mess.
And she loves it.
She loves seeing the other girl in pain.
In misery.
Alison's torn her apart.
Reduced her to tears.
And all Alison can do is smile.
And push through.
Because it burns.
It burns.
It burns.
It burns.
Spencer awakes with a start, her eyes flash wide open and she's struggling to breath. Her eyes float over to where Aria is asleep and she lets out a soft sigh of relief. Her friend hasn't been abducted, or stolen, or horrifically murdered. Neither had Alison.
Alison. She had been her, seen through her eyes, she had-
"You awake Spence?" Aria's voice whispers through the darkness. Spencer nods her head before flicking on the lamp next to her bed, locking her thoughts into a deep part of her mind never to be awaken again, no matter how much she would want to solve this new mystery.
Aria's curled up like a kitten on the far side of Spencer's bed.
Spencer's heart breaks.
Because this was her once.
Except she knew for a fact that her boyfriend (or in Aria's case ex-boyfriend.) had betrayed her.
She remembers the feeling.
Like the world was crashing down upon you, your legs buckling underneath you, the whole world stopping around you.
"Spence, I love you." Aria says suddenly, the words laced with bravery and fear and sadness and hope all mingled into one.
And Spencer, she can feel her heart breaking for Aria.
"I love you too, Aria." She replies, a smile taking over her face. "And it does get better, you don't even know if what Mona said was true. She could be lying-"
"She's not." Aria snaps suddenly, "She just, look, I now that she's right. It doesn't mean Ezra's evil, why would he even join the team? But he could of been blackmailed. He has Malcolm now."
Spencer's arms wrap around Aria's small frame, her lips pressing against the side of her forehead.
"First thing tomorrow we'll confront him about it, how does that sound?" Spencer suggest but even as the words leave her mouth she knows it's not what Aria wants. The smaller girl can barely choke out a no before going into a fresh batch of sobs.
And even though Spencer feels for her friend, she's also a little fed up.
Because she hasn't caught her boyfriend betraying her on their anniversary.
Because she hasn't found her ex-boyfriend, previously mentioned one, dead in the woods.
Because she hasn't been through half the things Spencer has.
But she shuts her lips and holds one of her best friends tight as her friend's body is wracked with sobs.
"C'mon Aria, calm down, ssh."
But the small brunette doesn't even hear Spencer.
The latter rubs soothing circles on the former's back and whispers encouraging nothings into the warm night air.
And it does no good because before things get better they go off, with a bomb.
"Toby," Alison breathes out in surprise as he barges into her bedroom.
And she notices a second to late that she doesn't sound like Alison.
"Whatever sick crush you had on me, whatever may of transpired between us is over. Got it?"
And she reminds herself not to fall weak at the knees, she smirks as she slowly nods her head and flicks hair behind her shoulder.
"Please, as if I would still be into you," She replies, bitterness laced through her words.
(And it's because she's hurt not because she wants to hurt him.)
"Good." He replies, his voice softer than before.
And then he's flying out of the door, as fast as his legs will take him.
And Alison's falling back onto her bed with a thud.
She had forgotten how difficult life could be and she had missed out on more than two years of it.
She curses the day she was born.
She curses the day Melissa Hastings was born.
She curses the day she died.
She curses the day she fell in love with Toby.
She curses the day she became weak.
Her fingers curl into a fist and she bangs her hand down onto her duvet. Her eyes flutter close, eyelashes resting against her cheek.
"Hey Ali," Jason's voice greets her as he steps into her room. There's nervousness laced through his voice, he's all too careful around her. Memories of thinking he had killed her still plague his mind.
And he honestly doesn't know how to act around his dead-now-alive sister. Has he mentioned that the previously mentioned sister had told him that she had a twin sister? Did the lies and secrets ever stop in this family?
"Hey," She replies weakly, the walls she had built around herself falling down even further.
Crashing, burning and the armor falls.
"What was Toby doing here?" Jason asks softly, coming to sit on the bed next to his sister. He never thought he would have this chance again, Alison and he weren't close but he now had a chance to repair things.
The mere mention of his name is enough to send her into a frenzy of bitchiness, with tears forming in her eyes that she quickly blinks away she shoots her brother a scowl.
"God, stop being so annoying!" She exclaims in an outburst of anger, arms crossed over her chest, smirk in place on her lips. Jason retreats, he had forgotten what Alison was like.
"I'm sorry," He squeaks out, she shoots him a glare before gesturing towards the door. He jumps up at the chance, he's out of her room within seconds, shutting the door behind him. She flops back down onto her bed covering her eyes with her hands. She doesn't even know why she likes Toby, why she loves Toby. She just knows that she would do anything for him, that she's never felt this way about anybody before.
It's a feeling she hates.
It's a feeling she detests.
It's a feeling she loathes.
And she's usually been able to hide it, to put on a mask and fake it.
But, she isn't herself.
These past two years have had her reaching her breaking point, she's snapping, she's coming undone, she's losing it, she's becoming weak.
She moves back up into a sitting position and then she's quietly walking across her floorboards and over to her door, she locks it before turning back around and diving into a treasure chest hidden underneath her bed. She pulls out the treasure chest, it's gold with intricate detailing all over the sides. For the past two years it's been where she's hidden everything, she pulls out her diary and lays it out in front of her.
She picks up a pen from inside the treasure chest, one Courtney had gifted upon her, her hand moves across the page scribbling in a date. It's followed by four words: The day I died.
And then she's slamming the book closed and curling up into a ball, memories flooding back from that night.
Tomorrow would be her first meeting with her therapist. She wasn't a nut job! But her parents had insisted that she go, even though the media still hadn't died down. She had been home for what, two weeks now? She's started going back to school yet her face was still plastered to every news broadcast in the country. It had even made it overseas, Hanna had joked that she was practically famous.
Alison strips down into her underwear and throws on a pair of loose pajama pants and a singlet before crawling underneath her covers like a child would. She shuts her eyes tightly and wishes for all the bad dreams to go away, if only for one night. One night of happiness, one night of peace.
But it's impossible.
"Spencer," Hanna hisses, eyes darting towards Ezra.
Aria doesn't hear, she's been ignoring them all, acting as if they weren't even there. The small brunette had turned into a walking zombie.
And even though Spencer understood it, she had been there, done that.
She hated it.
Aria didn't know if it was true, why Ezra was doing it if it was true, she hadn't caught him in the act.
She hadn't been through what Spencer had been through.
Ezra's out of sight before they even have a chance to distract Aria. Emily's joined them within a matter of seconds, carrying coffee and gingerbread man. She offers a outstretched hand filled with goods towards Aria. The smaller girl forces a grateful smile on her face as she plucks the sweets from out of Emily's hand.
"Thanks." She states weakly and then she's gathering her books and running of towards her geography class. Alison meets up with them at their locks minutes later, her lips stretched into a grin across her face.
"Girls," She greets, and it's almost as if she had never left.
"Hey Ali," Hanna replies, a smile lighting up on her face instantly. Emily throws Alison a soft smile before departing from the group in search of the pool. Extra practice time, she had claimed.
"Where's Aria?" Alison asks, eyes looking around the halls for her broken friend.
"Gone." Spencer states harshly, "She was here but then she left." She finishes, her tone softer this time. She couldn't put her finger on it but something was off about Alison, different, she didn't trust her. Her nightmare flashes back in her mind, her eyes flutter close for a second in a blinking action, thick black eyelashes resting against pale skin. She pushes it out of her mind, locks it back up in the corner she unleashed it from.
"We should have a sleepover. To cheer Aria up," Alison suggests, her smile turning into a wicked smirk.
And it's almost as if she had never left.
She was different but the same.
And she was going to get back everything she had lost.
Including Toby.
Hanna claps her hands together excitedly as she and Alison dive into talking about plans, Spencer throwing in the odd witty unhelpful comment here and there. Her eyes are on Ezra, talking to another teacher.
"Spence!" She hears Hanna snap, Spencer turns her head towards her blonde friend, her eyes clouded with confusion.
"What?" She asks, her hands reaching up to touch the ends of her hair. Hanna shakes her head and mutters something along the lines of don't worry.
"Mr. Fitz looks really familiar," Alison remarks casually, her eyes inspecting the teacher carefully.
And then it hits her.
And it's like she's falling apart all over again.
Because that's not just any old Ezra Fitz.
That's Ezra Fitzgerald.
That's Aria's Ezra Fitzgerald.
That's Alison's Ezra Fitzgerald.
The same man she had been having fun with in Cape May.
There were a few of them and he was one.
"I know him." Alison states quietly, she isn't sure whether to tell or not.
(She's kept Melissa a secret but this doesn't feel right.)
"What?" Hanna asks, her jaw dropping open. Alison shrugs it off as if it's nothing and then she's off running away like a scared child. Hanna and Spencer part as the bell goes, their minds reeling with this new information.
"Spencer?" Toby's voice echoes throughout her house as he climbs the stairs up towards her room. He finds her outstretched across her bed, highlighters in her hands and mouth and a textbook in front of her.
"Hey," He says softly, her head snapping up in surprise at the sound. Her face relaxes into a soft smile as he climbs onto the bed, his arms wrapping around her waist from her side. His lips press against her forehead, his arms dropping to his sides.
"Hey," She replies softly, removing the yellow highlighter from her mouth.
"Eventful day?" Toby asks, his voice laced with teasing. Her eyes drop towards the floor, she hadn't seen Alison since this morning. She had skipped by the time lunch had rolled around. Spencer pushes her books to the ground carefully, letting them fall to the floor with a small thud.
But, none of the pages have been wrecked.
"Yeah," She says lightly, "But can we talk about it later?" She asks, hands winding themselves around his neck. He nods his head as his lips press against hers.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it now?" Toby asks as Spencer pulls away, with a sigh she flops onto her back.
"Alison knows Mr. Fitz," She breathes, Toby scoots up closer towards her.
He's not surprised nor shocked.
Of course Alison knows Mr. Fitz.
It only really adds to the fact that he's more or less on the A team.
Toby's fingers dance lightly across Spencer's arm.
"Does Aria know?" He asks, Spencer shakes her head covering her eyes up with her hands and letting out a groan.
"Ugh. When did life get so complicated?" She asks with a frustrated sigh, Toby can't help but laugh at her antics despite the seriousness of the situation.
"On the bright side if none of this happened you and me wouldn't be here right now," He points out, leading a grin to find it's home on Spencer's face.
And even though they've all been through hell and back and then back to hell, good stuff has happened.
They've all grown closer.
Found someone who loves them no-matter what.
And Alison, she's alive.
And even though it's a storm, it's a sun storm.
Because through the negativity and bad there's still some good.
"And that is why I love you," Spencer says before reconnecting their lips together, her hands pushing through Toby's locks.
"I love you too," Toby says seriously because sometimes his actions don't show it and sometimes he doesn't say it enough.
But he means it, he means every single word of it, every single beat, every single syllable.
A\N: Sorry for the wait and only for roughly 2,600 words.