Disclaimer: I don't own anything Supernatural, except for the ghost that lives in my mechanic's room.
Author's Note: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, they truly make my day! Glad everyone is giving the thumbs up for Castiel in this story! Thanks everyone!
What truly gives this story it's pizzazz, are the details from the actual trip, which are being offered up by Winnjennster. I haven't been to this destination in years, good to have someone on the inside! Keep it coming, Jennster! This is destined to be a classic bit of humor!
"I'm starved," Dean exclaimed as the Impala flew past yet another road sign making offers of delicious deep fried items and cold beer. "Sam, we've been on the road for hours. Pull over!"
Sam hated to admit it, but he was starved as well; but Dean had attempted to sleep right up until the check out time; leaving the bed only after Sam threatened to have Castiel beam him right into the car, with or without his precious duffel bag. Dean had been grumbling ever since.
"Sam, I have completed the task you provided to me," Castiel said from the backseat. He looked as he always did, the trench coat and tie making his appearance in the car even more unnerving for Sam.
"Wait, Cas, I only told you about that like fifteen minutes ago," Sam said, his voice torn between confusion and awe. "Are you sure you got them all?"
"Yes Sam. I am certain. I located each letter of your alphabet while reading the license plates we have passed," Castiel started firmly. "If you are inquiring into if I cheated, I did not."
"So much for road games," Dean pouted. "Superman back there has won every game."
"Well, maybe if you'd actually try to provide some decent competition, he wouldn't," Sam muttered as he glanced at Castiel in the rearview mirror.
"Seriously Sam, pull this thing over for lunch or I will eat that ancient pack of stale crackers in the compartment. It won't be pretty," Dean stated, his face daring Sam to ignore him.
"Fine, our lunch stop is up ahead anyways," Sam replied as he turned onto the off-ramp.
"Our lunch stop? You really have our meals plotted out along the way," Dean scoffed. "You're like some insane vacation Nazi."
"Chris told me about it," Sam said as he maneuvered the car through an intersection. "Sounded right up your alley."
"My alley? You and Chris have some heart-to-heart discussions while planning this trip or what," Dean teased.
"Dean—"
"Stop talking Sam! I don't want to know what you two dudes talked about while you looked for bikini hot spots," Dean replied, holding his hand up to Sam to stop him from talking.
As Sam pulled the car up to the restaurant, Dean's jaw hit the dashboard from awe.
"Dude, what is this heavenly place," Dean asked as he gazed hungrily though the windshield.
"South of the Border," Sam replied, his voice smug as he stepped out of the car.
"Dean, I am fairly certain this establishment has no affiliation with Heaven," Castiel stated, confused by Dean's comment.
Dean climbed clumsily out of the car, his eyes taking in the scene before him.
"There is a giant burger on the roof Sam," Dean stated, his mouth beginning to water from the very sight of large, fiberglass statuesque food. "And look—they have a statue of you!"
Sam turned to look where Dean was pointing and rolled his eyes. "Dean, that's a statue of a moose."
"Yeah, it's a good likeness," Dean said as he headed for the door to the restaurant. "Castiel, you coming or what?"
"I am uncertain," Castiel said as he shuffled from one foot to the other.
"Why," Sam asked curiously.
"I do not need to eat and I do not wish to attract attention," Castiel said.
"You'll attract more attention by sitting in the car," Sam replied. "Just order something small. You don't have to eat it."
"Hey, we could be finishing this conversation over a basket of fries. Or pie. Hey, you think they have pie here," Dean asked he suddenly took off into the restaurant.
Their late lunch was uneventful except for Castiel eating the dozen habanero bites Dean had ordered for him. After a short explanation of why Dean would be impressed, Sam hustled them back into the car. An hour down the road, Dean reached for the radio; Sam let him get an inch from the knob before he reached out and smacked his hand away.
"Sam, come on man, this is torture," Dean complained as he slumped against the door.
"This is not torture, this a called dead air. Nothing but the sound of the road, the car, and your complaining," Sam said with a determined smile.
"So when are you going to tell me where we're going," Dean asked. "I'm guessing we're over halfway by now."
"Still have like eight hours to go Dean," Sam said with a sigh.
"Dude, that mean we won't get there until like….midnight," Dean said.
"You can count, good for you," Sam snapped. "If you had gotten up at 8am when I told you to, we would be getting there a heck of a lot sooner."
"It's my vacation too, Sammy," Dean argued. "I should be allowed to sleep in if I want too."
"Well, looks like you can 'sleep in' the car until we get to our check in then," Sam snapped again.
Hours later as they sped over the Florida state line, Dean started to grow suspicious.
"Are we headed for the beach," he asked, wondering if he packed anything to swim in.
"No," Sam replied tiredly. To be honest, he had no idea how Dean had stayed behind the wheel for many long days over the years without causing permanent nerve damage to his ass; Sam was starting to wonder if feeling would ever return.
"A cruise ship," Dean asked worriedly. "You know I don't wear shorts."
"It's not a cruise ship. No boats," Sam said as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "We might just have to get a room for the night and finish the drive tomorrow."
"Or-you could let me drive," Dean offered.
"And wake up to find you've Shanghaied our vacation," Sam said. "No thanks."
"I could assist," Castiel offered from the backseat.
"What?!—No, you're not driving my baby," Dean said as he shot a furious look towards Castiel. "You can not drive. Ever."
"Jimmy did have a driver's license. I possess his abilities," Castiel stated firmly.
"Um—no Cas. Driving around in Jimmy's meatsuit does not qualify you as a driver. Besides, you don't possess his abilities to monitor traffic flow, handle aggressive drivers, and the last and most importantly: you do not have my permission or blessing to drive my car," Dean argued. "Just thinking about you driving my baby makes me tense."
"Fine," Castiel said. "Dean, perhaps you could relax with the assistance of one of your cigars."
"What? Dean, what is he talking about," Sam snapped from the driver's seat. "Have you been smoking cigars?! You know how ridiculous and irresponsible that is."
"Thanks for that Cas," Dean snapped sarcastically at Castiel.
"You are quite welcome Dean," Castiel said from his safe haven in the backseat.
"That was sarcasm Cas," Dean snapped again.
"Oh. I was uncertain. Did you not wish for Sam to know you were the one smoking a cigar at the hotel last night," Castiel asked innocently.
"Dean! You are so busted," Sam said angrily as he glanced at Dean. "I can't believe you!"
"What I can't believe is that my angel just ratted me out to my little brother," Dean argued aloud. "Cas, isn't there some kind of 'angel confidentiality clause' in effect between us?"
"None that I am aware of," Castiel said.
"Great. Just great," Dean muttered as he hunched down in his seat.
They road in silence for a few minutes before Sam pointed to a car they were approaching.
"Dean, check it out," Sam said with a smile.
"What the hell is that thing," Dean asked as he shifted in his seat to get a better look.
Sam rolled his eyes. "It's a car. A Scion Xb to be specific," Sam explained.
"I can see that. But dude, check out the window," Dean said he stared at the car.
The purple car was keeping up with them, flying down the interstate, it's 'Winchester Racing Bros.' sticker gleaming in the fading sunset. There were stickers all over the outside, and the inside looked like it was packed to the hilt.
"Hey! Maybe it's some more cousins," Dean said. "Get closer."
"Seriously," Sam asked, even though he gunned the engine and changed lanes to drive parallel to the purple car. "Check 'em out. See if they look like us."
Dean turned in his seat and gazed at the car. The driver was a woman with hot pink hair who was obviously singing aloud to the radio, cigar in her hand; while a frazzled looking man wearing a fedora was trying to fold a map in the passenger side seat. Dean glanced in the backseat; it was filled with kids, who by the looks of it were singing and pantomiming "Eye of the Tiger". Castiel was plastered to the rear window, trying to decipher what strange human custom was going on in the next car.
"Dude, I'm going to flag them down," Dean said he yanked open the glove compartment for the flashlight.
"What? Why," Sam asked curiously.
"Cause they look like they're having more fun over there than I'm having in here! I wanna ride with them. They have cigars, Eye of the Tiger, and fedoras, and stuff," Dean stated even as Sam slammed on the brakes and moved the car into another lane.
"Dean, you're not crashing some other family's vacations," Sam said as he frowned at Dean.
"You know what Sam," Dean snapped. "You suck. Wake me when we get to where ever the hell we're going."
"Dean, would it kill you to lighten up a little," Sam asked tiredly.
"It might," Dean muttered as he closed his eyes and laid back against the seat.
Sam drove for hours while Dean snored lightly. Castiel sat quietly in the backseat, never making a sound, even when Sam had to slam on the brakes and swerve across two lanes of traffic to get off at their exit. Sam was smiling as he saw the first interstate sign for their destination. Ever since he had been six and Dean had been ten, he had wanted to go there. John had mentioned it once, but it had been just another forgotten promise in a long line of them. Except that Sam had never forgotten it.
Dean woke up when the car slowed down and came to a stop at what looked like a toll booth. Dean closed his eyes again and tried to go back to sleep. The next toll booth had him curious, they never took toll roads.
Dean woke to the sound of a car door slamming, they had parked. In a parking lot. A huge parking lot.
Dean slowly got out of the car and stretched, looking around before laying eyes on a very tired Sam, who was sporting a smile that could outshine the sun. It immediately had Dean on edge.
"Where are we Sam," Dean asked, wondering if he should have packed more Holy water.
"Grab your stuff, we've got a little walk to the hotel," Sam said as he all but threw Dean's duffel bag at him. Dean caught it with a grunt.
"Hey, wait. We're not going in there without some gear," Dean argued, reaching for his favorite shotgun.
"Dean, you can't have any weapons in here," Sam said as he rolled his eyes. "In fact, we shouldn't even have the trunk load we have now."
Dean gazed around the parking lot, there were cars everywhere. It was nearly one in the morning and he didn't even care where they were, he just wanted a real bed to sleep in.
"Hey! Look," Sam said as he pointed across the parking lot. "It's the purple car!"
Dean turned and looked; it was indeed the Scion from the interstate. "See Sam, I could have just ridden with them and had some fun on this trip," Dean mumbled.
"Dean! Come on," Sam said as he took off up a path towards the hotel.
Dean took a closer look at the motel ahead of him, rubbing his eyes as he prayed he was seeing things.
"Disney World! Sam, I hate you," Dean called out as he tried to follow Sam. "Give me my keys. Now!"
"Nope," Sam called out with a laugh as he hauled ass to beat Dean to the door.
Moments later, Dean and Sam walked into the lobby, bags in hand; while Castiel followed behind. The late night staff was vacuuming the lobby, while others were refreshing large floral arrangements.
Sam walked to the counter and handed over his paperwork from Chris.
"Mr. Winchester, you have two other adults in your party, correct," the woman behind the counter asked.
"Yeah," Sam replied. "Although, 'adult' might be a bit of a stretch. More like petulant child. "
"Ah, well we can accommodate anyone with special needs," she said with a steady smile.
Dean glared at her before moving to look at brochures on a nearby table.
"Oh no, he's all there and everything, just a long drive," Sam said with a small laugh.
"Oh, sorry," she said with a small blushing smile. "And the name of your partner?"
"Um, my brother," Sam said as he looked over at Dean, wonder why this was going so wrong. "Dean."
"Oh, I assumed he was your brother, you look alike," she said with a laugh. "I meant him."
She gestured over his shoulder and he jumped when he was realized Castiel was standing so close they were practically sharing air.
"Oh. Right," Sam said with a mental groan. "This is our friend Cas."
She smiled as she handed over passes and room keys. "Your treehouse is all ready for you," she said. "Enjoy!"
"Yeah, right," Sam said as he grabbed his bag and tried to hustle Dean and Castiel away from the grinning clerk.
"Well, that was painful," Sam said he handed out room keys. "Come on, we all need some sleep."
Sam opened the door to their suite and whistled. "Okay, there are three rooms. Two have queen sized beds. Cas, you can have the couch or the third bedroom if you want. It's got bunk beds," Sam said as he headed for his own room.
"Bunk beds," Castiel asked. "What is that?"
"It's like one bed built over the other," Dean explained as he moved through the place, wondering if Sam had made a crossroads deal to pay for everything.
"But I don't need to sleep," Castiel said with a frown.
"Yep. I get that, but we do," Dean said.
"And there is only one of me," Castiel said. "Why should I have two beds?"
Dean rubbed a tired hand over his face and said, "Whatever Cas. Lay in one, or both, or neither one. I'm too tired to care right now. Just go watch television or something," Dean said as he moved to his room.
Dean dropped onto his bed and glanced down at the carpet, there were Mickey Mouse ear designs in the carpet. In fact, they were everywhere.
"I gonna gank Mickey Mouse," Dean mumbled tiredly as he turned off the lights.
Okay, sorry for the delay. Hurt my arm yesterday and had a hard time typing this out. Hope you enjoy! Please remember to leave a review for me and WinJennster; this is a group effort project!