He helped me through another fit later that day. When I had somewhat recovered from it, he handed me a kind of pink pear fruit from the basket on the table. "Look at it and concentrate. But not too hard, just focus on it and hold that focus." he demanded.
"What's that for?" I asked him quite puzzled
"Exercise. I'm quite sure, you can learn to get a grip on these fits yourself." I tried for a while until he was satisfied. When some weird mood swings announced another one, the Doctor just handed me the fruit. "Look at it, don't loose the focus, don't go drifting" He reminded me of his instructions and forced me through the battle with a seizure. This time it was a particularly nasty experience of love sickness and depression, when my ex ex girlfriend had dumped me in the most unpleasant way. Or, well, truth to tell, I had cheated her and then she had dumped me in the most humiliating way, and it was more a case of my hurt ego, but that's another story, anyway, until after too long, the emotion and images lost their grip on me. I collapsed onto my bed, soaked in sweat, catching my breath. "it's so much easier with your help.." I complained.
"Yeah. Because I hold your focus with a tiny little spark of telepathic contact. But you have to learn to help yourself. I may not be there for you all the time. I'm not your babysitter." he replied unusually sharp. After everything he had put me through, the last sentence was a slap in my face. I was still too shaken by emotion and not in any mood to let him get away with this.
"Doctor, what's up with you? I've never seen you so closed down and acrid! Even in bad circumstances. Now you start shooting cutting remarks at me! It's obvious, that you hate being locked up, and all this here somehow frightens the hell out of you. Don't you think, I might feel the same? And it was you who persuaded me to come with you, so if this... this situation here is anyone's fault, it's yours. If something is bothering you, just TALK about it!" He visibly blushed at my accusations and started pacing up and down.
"Listen. I won't. And you have to take care for yourself. That's a fact. I really hope we get out of here as soon as possible. I'll be all right. Now don't push it any further!"
"No. You listen. With your pathetic `all right` speech. You haven't been all right since the day I first met you. At least not by human standards. But since we ended up here it has taken on massive proportions. And that's fine for me. It has to do with your past. Admit it. Even the glorious Time Lord can break down with something like post traumatic stress syndrome and fear. But now you just start to take it out on my back. Now you snap out of it! You need a therapist if you can't cope at all! Maybe the folk here can help you."
He didn't even raise his voice, just glared back at me, "If that's what you think, I'm really sorry, that I have no other choice then to rely on you, to keep up that time line."
My emotional reaction to what he had just uttered so casually overwhelmed me. My frustration and the fear finally broke the dam when I shouted back at him.
"Then I will ask THEM to wipe my mind clean of everything that has to do with you and take me back home and then fuck your precious time line! Why would I care! I haven't asked you to mess up my life! Do you think, I find this here funny? I was just stupid enough to stumble into you, but now I've had it! I''m nothing but some time line device for you anyway!" I yelled, when he turned to flee my room, a horrified expression on his face. Then everything happened very fast. A sturdy warden stormed into the room, wrist locked the Doctor, smashing him into the wall, and when Dr. Aediras and another warden followed, suddenly my head exploded in pain, an unbearable swirl of colors and lights flared up and I heard myself screaming, as if from far away. The next thing I remembered was that I was looking into the eyes of the Doctor, who was holding my head in both of his hands, shaking, stabbing pain and flashing lights everywhere. "I'`m sorry, I'm so, so sorry, David," he pleaded. I wanted to reply something very rude and pull away from him but he wouldn't let me. "Sssh. Just sleep now." And with that, something gentle and warm washed over my pain and rage and fear, easing it, and then everything became hazy and I lost myself.
When I came round my head felt as if it had been smashed by a wrecking ball. Although something cool on my forehead assured me, that there was still an outside world that was not headache, so I opened my eyes. The Doctor was sitting there, in the dimmed light, once more at my bedside, holding something to my lips, "Drink. It's water. With a painkiller." he whispered. I swallowed what he poured into my mouth and realized, how thirsty I was. I got hold of the cup, eagerly gulped down what was in it and sighed, when the stabbing pain got slowly more bearable. He didn't talk, just squeezed my hand, watching me with cocked head, a pitiful expression in those large, brown eyes. After a while he asked softly, "How's your head now? You need some more?"
I nodded shakily. "Getting better." He poured me another cup. I spotted a metal bracelet around his wrist, that he previously hadn't worn, pointed at it. "What's that?"
"That's, well... Kind of...a remote control. So Aediras is able to knock me out, in case I do any more... stupid things. Like being rude to a sick friend." He replied with a sigh, "I'm so sorry, what I said . I.. I didn't mean any of it. You are right, I was taking out my... problems on your back."
"I guess, I have lost my nerves as much as you lately."
"No. You had a bad time, the last few months. And that is my responsibility. But I had no idea how bad it really was. Dr. Aediras had to let me in on that. Why haven't you just talked to Martha earlier."
"I don't know. I just... couldn't. Not being able to talk about problems, guess, we've got something in common here." He just stared back at me and then gave in to a little nod.
"My plan was just to take you to the Eye of Orion to help you catch yourself. I wanted to cheer you up. I wanted you to have a good time. This here is not even remotely what you need right now. I'm so sorry..."
"Yeah, that plan with the good time worked out really marvellous, didn't it?" I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of what happened when the Doctor planned to have a good time. It hurt my head considerably, but somehow broke the awkwardness of the situation.
"Hm. Yes. That went quite wrong." The Doctor replied quietly, an embarrassed smile on his weary face, running a hand through his hair, voice ringing with affection.
"Maybe next time, just promise a disaster. Then there is a chance for a good time..."
"Yeah... maybe..." he replied and then fell silent.
"Doctor, why is this place haunting you? After all, it's your home. Kind of. Isn't it?" I asked him after some time. He lifted his gaze until he met my eyes and I found that heartwrenchingly dreadful expression there again. "It confronts me with some decisions I had to make. David, I wasn't just there. It was my doing. My downfall."
I spotted Dr. Aediras standing in the door frame, watching us scrutinizingly, obviously she had been standing there the whole time, making sure that the Doctor behaved.
"You have a natural gift with the sick, you know that? If you don't happen to insult them or are the reason for their problems in the first place... It's amazing.. just really amazing...so much like him.." She mused.
"What is amazing? Who are you talking about?" The Doctor's voice turned ice cold. "When will I finally be allowed to see an official?" Subdued frustration sparkled in his eyes, he involuntarily ran his fingers over the bracelet and reined his temper.
"Oh, he comes here to help me with patients sometimes. He's been just too busy lately, unfortunately. Very serious troubles... He's going to see you. Tomorrow. Sorry, I can't tell you more at the moment."
"So apart from this mysterious visitor, still no decision whether and when I get my Tardis back and am allowed to leave?"
"No. But you'll see."
"Whose order is all this!" He barked at her, once more loosing his temper.
An enigmatic smile was all he got in reply. The Doctor sighed and buried his head in his hands. "Would you just be so kind and leave us alone for a moment?" The Time Lord physician addressed the Doctor who looked up and without another word left the room.
She sat down next to me "Can I check you up, just to make sure that you are all right."
"You mean.." I pointed at my head with a strangled moan.
"Yes, but don't worry, just a quick glance. Nothing bad." She looked at me expectantly. My reply was a very uncertain nod.
It was fortunately not troublesome. She didn't knock out my consciousness either. I shrugged, when her presence brushed just lightly over my mind, lingered there for a moment. Then she broke the contact.
Her expression softened to a smile. "No, you are okay. I mean, as okay as you can be after this here and what he has done to you."
So far my idea that she knew all of my mind hat been a rather abstract one. It hit me like lightning that she actually had seen everything that had ever happened to me. Including the impossible situation I was in. And she was a Time Lord, like the Doctor and had given me the impression she was a sincere person.
The next morning, when she returned to look after me the Doctor wasn't with us in the room, I gathered all my courage. "Doctor Aediras, can you help me?"
"I was afraid, you'd ask that question." With a weary half smile she grabbed herself a chair. "The answer is no. There's nothing that could possibly undo your problem without causing more trouble. Your Doctor is a hopeless meddler, turning some innocent human into a walking paradox. What happened to you is exactly why there are the laws of time. But since he´s his own authority now, he's become a bit too reckless. And he's not under our jurisdiction anyway. We might be able to help him though. If he decided to stop keeping anyone here at arm's length. And by the way, David Barnham, we need your help a lot more than you need ours anyway. That's why we've kept you here and verified your claims. Otherwise we would have put your Tardis into a void ship, hooked it up to the Eye of Harmony and shot you straight back into your own universe. But matters aren't so easy these days." Suddenly she looked up, "Come in Doctor, there's no need to spy at the door. You can hear this." The Doctor entered, arms crossed he leaned with his back to the wall watching Aediras with weary reserve on his face.
"There is a reason, why we've verified your origin and kept you here. I have to apologize for the inconvenience."
"Yes, sorry for the inconvenience indeed." A deep, melodious voice echoed her sentence. The man who stood in the doorway was dressed in undyed robes, he was tall, maybe even taller than the Doctor, but where the Doctor was slender, he was sturdy, where the Doctor's nose was narrow, he sported a prominent beak and where the Doctor was a flighty fellow, he seemed to have the solidity of a rock. He ruffled his grizzly mane of curls, and bore his eyes into the Doctor with overt curiosity. But it wasn't the man who was so remarkable. It was the reaction of the Doctor. His stared back at the other man, for quite some time. His eyes grew large and he staggered back almost as if in shock.
"No... no, you couldn't..." he stammered and fell silent. After some moments he composed himself, "how could you do that," he whispered.
He turned to face the wall, hammered his fist into it and yelled with maddened voice, repeating the same sentence. "How could you!" He glared at him with something between sheer disbelief and revulsion. "What have you done!" He almost sobbed, turned away.
"I've told you, he wouldn't react well" Aediras softly addressed the elder Time Lord, who commented her remark with an unhappy frown. The Doctor faced him again, his countenance up once more. "I want my Tardis back. I want to leave. Now!" He stated, but his shaking voice betrayed his feelings. The other Time Lord stepped closer and extended a hand "Doctor..."
"No, you just stay away from me." he hissed back at him and recoiled with an almost paranoid glint in his eyes. After a moment of hesitation, the visitor retreated with a resigned nod, fumbling for something in his robes. He produced a small, metallic cube and placed it on the table. "There is just one thing you have to do. Watch the two files on this memo. And then tell me, if you are willing to help. Both of you." He eyed me with an unsettling amount of curiosity, "If you turn it down you are free to leave."