Chapter 4

My Comments:

Man... I am getting way to excited. Good thing this story can continue forever... And I still have a good idea of where it might be going. Again, I know it's going fast, but once Shepard can take a breather, so can you. She just needs to explain herself and... Whoops... Not going to give that one away ^^ Have fun! Also, I'm thinking about naming the chapters. What do you think?

I don't own Mass Effect! That honor belongs to Bioware and EA. I do own this plot however.

I got two reviews so far. The first wasn't entirely nice, but it was polite and I am going to start rectifying my mistakes, so thank you. The second wasn't nice at all, but I can take that. I thank both of them however for strengthening my resolve. As of now the story should start to slow down a little and I will delve more into the character's thoughts and emotions. I will also re-re-read my story to catch those grammar mistakes that only seem to appear once published. Again, thanks you two and my current followers! You rock and give me inspiration to write!

The Story:

Shepard stared at the two machines before her. The little boy stood behind her, watching her every move. Thoughts raced across her mind faster than ever, and Shepard was having a hard time quelling them. The choice was obvious, but she second-guessed herself anyway. If she chose to wipe out synthetic life, EDI and the Geth would likely perish. After everything she had gone through and the friends she had made, could she truly make so many people sad or angry? The answer was obvious. Shepard had to take control of the Reapers. With this, she could even help rebuild. It was a win-win, right? If so, why did she feel so empty on the inside?

"Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you..."

Shepard's breath caught at her memory of Garrus. That would explain the empty feeling. She started to limp towards the machine. If she did decide to take control of the Reapers, she would be... well... dead. There probably wouldn't even be a body.

"Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."

Her step faltered. That's right. These were some of the last words she had exchanged with Garrus. He had told her to come back. If she went through with this, there wouldn't even be a body to return to him. An explosion that rattled the Crucible brought Shepard back to reality. Saving the Normandy, Earth, the galaxy... That was all that mattered. A tear fell down her cheek as she continued limping. She couldn't keep her promise. Heck, she didn't even know if she'd make it to Heaven. Shepard looked at the approaching machine.

"I guess I can watch him through the eyes of the Reapers. Make sure he gets out of this alive. After everything he's done for me, he deserves to move on and live happily."

Somehow, the thought of Garrus moving on only made Shepard's chest hurt more. This sharp pain in her chest was something she'd only felt for the third time. The first had been on Horizon, with Kaidan. He had broken her heart that day. The only one who had even been close to picking up the pieces was Garrus, and he had managed quite well. The second had been after Garrus and Liara were hurt heading towards the beam. Garrus hadn't wanted to go. Leaving him behind as the Normandy flew off was the second pain. She remembered smiling at him, thinking that everything was going to be just fine, as long as one of them made it out.

"Then we're going to retire somewhere warm and tropical."

Shepard gasped again, feeling more tears sliding down her cheeks. The taste of salt water lingered on her lips. The third pain was right now. Leaving the crew, no... Garrus behind hurt her the most. He would have to retire alone. Though, knowing him, Shepard assumed he would keep fighting. Shepard stared at the two handles before her. The last chance to back away. Go to the other and live.

"No," Shepard muttered.

She couldn't let her hopes of surviving and meeting Garrus again pollute the truth of what needed to be done. Her hands tentatively gripped the handles. Shepard took what she believe to be her final breath before activating the machine. A gasp quickly escaped her lips.

'I-I'm dying,' she thought to herself. 'My body will be gone forever. No... wait. My mind is being separated from my body.' Shepard felt herself smile with her last bit of strength. 'Maybe they can have a body after all.'

Shepard took a deep breath, looking up. The last thoughts of Garrus had, admittedly, been weaseled out of the story. However, the main message that Shepard, was in fact, the master conscious of the Reapers had really hit home. The shock was evident on the Councilors faces. The Asari councilor even had her face buried in her hands.

Shepard turned to study her crew. Throughout the duration of Shepard's story, they had been leaning against the railing, listening intently. Now, however, most of their positions had changed.

Liara was staring at the ground, muttering, "oh my goddess" over and over again. Javik was pondering the thought, staring out the window in the opposite direction. Tali was patting Liara on the back, muttering 'Keelah' every few moments. Joker had his back to Shepard, staring out the window, his head was shaking in disbelief. EDI was staring blankly at a wall, calculations going over and over in her head. Dr. Chakwas' eyes were looking at everything other than Shepard. Grunt seemed to be going over the choices, likely deciding that he would have chosen differently. Miranda seemed too shocked, realizing that Shepard had done what the Illusive Man had been after. Bailey was shaking his head in amazement, muttering something to Hackett and James, who looked equally surprised.

Kaidan was sitting on one of the steps his head in his hands. "That's what she went through?" he muttered to himself, too quiet for anyone to pick up on. A strange sense of regret filled him, realizing that he had been angry with Shepard.

Garrus stared right back at Shepard, the only one to meet her eyes. He couldn't believe that Shepard had gone through that and stood in front of them, perfectly sane. There had obviously been holes in Shepard's story. She had mentioned that the words of a good friend made her stop and question herself. The words made her grieve, though he couldn't figure out why. Who had said those words? Garrus picked himself off the wall he was leaning on. His steps to Shepard were swift.

Shepard smiled as the familiar arms wrapped her in for a hug. The whole room held in their breath at the sudden display of affection, but Shepard could care less. Right now, she felt safe. Garrus let go of Shepard after a few moments, keeping a reassuring arm around her shoulder.

"I cannot imagine having to make that choice, Commander," the Asari Councilor said quietly.

At the sound of the Councilor's voice, the crew snapped fully back to reality. Kaidan felt a familiar pain in his chest. What was Vakarian doing with Shepard? An immense amount of jealousy flowed through Kaidan's veins. A large enough amount that he was barely able to quell it. More importantly, why was Shepard only smiling? There was no way she... Liked him... Was there? Kaidan glanced at the rest of the crew, who seemed pretty calm about it. Was he overreacting? It didn't make sense. He'd ask the crew about it later.

The Turian Councilor stood. "If you have control of the Reapers, how can we trust that you won't use them for your own selfish gain?"

Shepard cringed. She'd seen this coming. The Turian Councilor had never really like her. Why? Shepard had no idea. Of course, Turians loved to follow the rules and they did prefer all that red tape Garrus was constantly complaining about. Being a Spectre and a previous member of Cerberus probably didn't help.

"If you hadn't noticed, the Reapers have done nothing but help! They helped to rebuild entire cities!" Shepard stepped forward, raising her hand to point at the Turian Councilor. Garrus' arm moved so that only a hand rested on one of her shoulders. "The Relays wouldn't even be functional without the help of the Reapers! Do you really think that I would have gone through all that shit and died not once, but twice, just to end the galaxy on my own damn terms?!"

The Turian Councilor took a step back, appalled. The Asari Councilor stood up, obviously trying to avoid a confrontation that both parties would regret later.

"We understand your worry," she said calmly, looking at the Turian Councilor. "However, Commander Shepard has shown many times over that she does know what she is doing."

"The Commander does hold a point."

Shepard nodded a 'thank-you' to the Salarian Councilor.

"It doesn't matter is she has a point!" The Turian Councilor stepped forward, standing only a foot away from Shepard. "All she has to do is get angry and she could destroy an entire planet! Do we really want someone this dangerous flying around the galaxy?"

Shepard felt her resolve shrinking slightly. Sadly, the Turian Councilor had a point. Other than the fact that she had sent a general consensus that the Reapers couldn't hurt any synthetic and organic life, it would be pretty simple to contact Monarch and have that order taken back.

Garrus stepped forward, lacing his talon with Shepard's hand. The tension in Shepard's hand was obvious. Not just her hand, however. The rest of Shepard's body was tense, so much so that even the veins in her neck were showing.

Kaidan watched, feeling his jaw clench. 'What the hell?' he thought to himself. So, he hadn't been imagining things? 'Did everyone else know about this?' Kaidan glanced at the rest of the crew, picking out who was surprised and who wasn't at all.

The first to catch his eye was Joker. Joker had turned back around. A smile covered his face as he glanced at the Commander and Garrus. Something was mumbled to EDI and she seemed to run a few probabilities before nodding.

"They must know," Kaidan muttered quietly. "Why didn't they mention this to me?"

Liara was the next to catch Kaidan's eye. Liara's eyes had widened a little at Garrus' movement. He noticed her gaze flick to him for just a moment.

"She knows too? How long has she known?" Kaidan turned back to Garrus and Shepard. The sharp pain had returned. "How long have they been together?" he muttered under his breath.

Garrus could feel everyone staring at him, but his main focus was on Shepard. "Shepard risked her life and lost it so that all of you could stay alive! She even chose to save the Council during Sovereign's attack. Which, I may add, she helped stop!"

Shepard gave Garrus' hand a squeeze. "If I really wanted to destroy the galaxy, wouldn't I have just given you some sort of stupid lie?"

The Asari Councilor nodded. "Shepard has made yet another point. I vote that we let her go, reinstate her spectre status, and, if Admiral Hackett would agree, give her back the Normandy."

Hackett gave a small nod. He knew that no one else should belong at the command of the Normandy. The Normandy belonged to Commander Shepard and no one else.

The Turian Councilor scoffed. "Why should we give her power back? Doesn't she have enough?"

Kaidan stood up, walking over to Shepard and standing on her free side. "Shepard saved everyone's ass! Do you really want to make it seem like you could've done it without her? Because everyone here knows that you couldn't!"

Behind him, the rest of the crew stood silently. All smiles had vanished, and everyone was watching with a mix of curiosity and fear.

The Asari Councilor took a deep breath. "As of this point, it is the Salarian Councilor's choice."

The gazes in the room switched to the Salarian Councilor. He looked at everyone curiously. Speaking as rapidly as Mordin, he finally figured out what to say. "Many different factors at work. Too many to decide and answer right away. Many problems. Yes. Many problems. But many possibilities. Yes. Many possibilities. Made many good choices. Like curing Genophage."

Shepard found her mind wandering to her efforts back on Tuchanka.

~ Break ~

"You guys go! I'm heading to the shroud!"

Shepard nodded at them before turning and running towards the Shroud. She ignored the unhappy yells behind her. 'I need to make sure that Padok Wiks can get to the top. If only Mordin was here. Then I wouldn't need to worry like I do.'

Shepard ran into the shroud. "Padok Wiks! You need to hurry! This place isn't going to last much longer."

He shook his head. "I have to go to the top. Need to fix temperature. Thank you Shepard."

Shepard stepped towards Padok. "Then I'm going with you."

He sighed, stepping into the elevators. "Go, Shepard. World still needs you. Good luck."

Shepard watched the elevator rise towards the top of the Shroud. 'Why couldn't he just accept help?' Shepard turned, running out of the collapsing Shroud. Once she got far enough away, her eyes looked back up to where Padok was. As a snow-like substance began to come out of the shroud, a large explosion appeared from where her Salarian friend was.

"Oh, gods."

Shepard froze. 'Why? He did so much for all of us and this is what he gets in return? I promise to not forget what he did for us. I'm sure Eve and Wrex feel the same. Even Grunt if he were here.'

~ Break ~

Shepard shook her head. She couldn't think about that now. Her head raised to look at the Councilor in front of her; the one who could decide her fate.

"Simple choice though. Easy. Many problems. Many difficulties. Many possibilities."