Rey had never cared much about her appearance. As a scavenger on Jakku, she'd always been too busy fighting for survival to worry about how she looked. Her clothing had always been simple and functional, her hair pulled back to keep it out of her face. No one on Jakku stayed clean for long, everyone, including Rey, was always covered in sand. As Luke Skywalker's padawan, she no longer had to struggle for survival but her life was anything but extravagant. Jedi were expected to live modest, pure lives with little concern for appearance or material processions. They were supposed to be above physical attraction and were forbidden from forming romantic attachments. Which meant Rey was currently breaking multiple rules.
As she spent more time with Kylo, she was beginning to see him…differently. She found herself rising earlier, taking the time to wash her face and fuss with her hair. She'd begun to worry about things that had never mattered before. Why was she so clumsy and awkward? Why did she sweat so much when she trained? Why didn't her hair ever stay neat? And most importantly, what had come over her? Was she going insane? This was Kylo Ren, the monster who'd kidnapped and interrogated her. The man who'd nearly killed Finn. Or was it? The man who trained with her was witty, with a dry sense of humor. He loved to meditate and could spend hours reading a holobook. He helped her with her forms and made her laugh. No, this certainly wasn't the same creature that had attacked her on Starkiller. That didn't mean he was completely changed, Kylo was far from perfect. He had a quick temper and often lashed out, particularly at Master Luke. Kylo was also prone to fits of melancholy, suddenly growing sad and withdrawn, refusing all company. He often seemed distracted, as though his mind were far away. Although Rey knew these things worried the general and Master Luke, they didn't bother her. She knew she had plenty flaws of her own.
Rey attempted to hide her feelings. She avoided Kylo when they weren't training. When Luke mentioned him, she rolled her eyes. She complained about him just as loudly as before. However, Luke wasn't fooled. He cornered Rey after dinner one night and insisted on speaking to her alone. He'd taken her on a walk outside the base, away from any eavesdroppers. Once they reached the large tree, he stopped.
"Rey," he began. "I can sense your feelings for my nephew. I know you've grown to care for him."
Rey blushed, embarrassed. She should have known better than to try to hide something from Master Luke. "I have," she admitted. There was no point in lying. She braced herself for Luke's reaction.
"I'm not angry," he assured her. "I'm concerned. Rey, my nephew is… unstable. Even if it were not against the Jedi code, a relationship with him wouldn't be a good idea." He sighed. "He's still very dangerous."
"I don't think you have to worry about that," said Rey. "Just because I have feelings for him doesn't mean he feels the same way. I'm nothing to him but a scavenger." Even as she spoke, Rey knew that wasn't true. In her mind, she saw the way Kylo looked at her. She felt his hands on her arm as he guided her movements. She felt the warmth of his rare smile.
"I know he does, I sense his feelings the way I sense yours." Luke shook his head. "It's too dangerous," he said again. "He might hurt you."
Rey was irritated. "I can look after myself. I'm not a child."
"Even if it wasn't the case, romantic love is forbidden to jedi. Temptation is natural, Rey but you must resist it."
"And if I don't want to?" she snapped.
"Then I'm afraid your days as my padawan are over." Luke sounded sad. "I want to teach you, Rey but if you won't follow the rules I'll have no choice. Being a jedi means making sacrifices."
"Then maybe I don't want to be a jedi." Rey didn't know why she was acting this way. Luke's calm demeanor was only aggravating her more.
"Don't give up on everything you've worked for, not for him."
"What do you mean by that?" Rey asked.
"I just mean that you've worked so hard and I'd hate to see it go to waste."
"You mean I shouldn't waste myself on him?" Rey was furious. "Kylo's right, he came back. He came home to his family. But you all still view him with suspicion. You don't trust him and you never will."
"That's no reason to abandon your training."
"Maybe I'm just tired of an old man trying to control me. I never had any choices on Jakku, no freedom. Now that I've left, I want to be able to make my own choices."
"Please," Luke pleaded. "Don't do anything drastic. Take some time to make this decision."
"I already have." Rey turned and walked back towards base.
"Where are you going?" Luke asked.
"I'm free now," she called back. "It's really none of your business."