Disclaimer: the original manga Tennis no Oujisama is the work of Konomi Takeshi. Characters and settings have been adapted without authorization or approval, and I am making no profit from their use.
Author's Note: I owe a debt of gratitude to the Prince of Tennis Crack Pairing Generator. This chapter may have been possible without it, but not nearly so layered. My thanks to the creators.
Rumors
Tennis practice at Seigaku High School had been proceeding as it normally did on an off-season afternoon - running and accuracy drills in the warmth of the school gym while the January winds bit through the air outside. Nothing out of the ordinary at all, in fact, until "The Imperial March" from the Star Wars movies started echoing from the rafters. It was loud enough to make Ooishi jump, and nearly to stop his heart as well.
Partially because it was coming from his bag.
Ooishi turned back to face the assembled club, the word "Dismissed" frozen on his tongue. A few of the members were confused or surprised by the sound, but the regulars were mostly amused at his predicament.
And it was a predicament... he left his phone on during practice precisely because, if there was an emergency, he needed to be available. Everyone he knew was either in a tennis club as well or was aware that practice shouldn't be interrupted lightly.
Therefore, the fact that his phone was ringing ominous music right now meant two things:
1) There actually was some kind of emergency, and
2) Eiji had gone through his phone and changed his ring tones again.
He turned to his doubles partner with a sigh, and watched Eiji bite his lip in concern. "That's Sanada," was the reply to his unasked question. "You should probably talk to him."
Nodding in agreement, Ooishi dismissed the club for the afternoon and turned to his bag to take out his phone. Sure enough, Sanada's name was on the caller ID, and sure enough none of the club actually left.
"Hello?" he said into the phone.
"Ooishi-san, hey!" called a voice that was distinctly not Sanada. "Oh my god, is it seriously true? I just heard from, y'know, everybody."
"Ah, Kirihara-san. Is Sanada there?"
"Yeah, actually, I'm using his phone, but come on! Is it true about Echizen and Atobe? What gives? I heard they were eloping to Thailand or Argentina or Kazbekestan or something."
More than slightly surprised at the question, Ooishi stammered and tried to think of a reasonable reply. Kirihara had to be joking. And what on earth had happened to Sanada that Kirihara was using his phone for this? "I-I'm sorry, you heard what exactly?"
Unfortunately, he did not receive any kind of assurance that the previous statement had been made in jest. "Oh, well see, the other day, Sanada-buchou and Niou-sempai and Yagyuu-sempai were walking back to the bus stop from that spider exhibit at the natural history museum, right?" Kirihara said, spitting out words at a breakneck speed that Ooishi could barely follow, let alone make complete sense of. "Anyways, so they ran into that pun jerk, Amane - you know the one who used to go to Rokkaku? Well, you know, he says he heard from that freak Ibu while they were doing their lab homework who heard straight from Tachibana who saw Echizen and Atobe with his own eyes, talking about running off together, right? Like Bonnie and Clyde or whatever."
"Kirihara-san, do you know who Bonnie and Clyde are?" Ooishi asked. He somehow doubted that Atobe and Echizen were planning to set off on a spree of petty robbery and armed violence across the countryside, even if they...
Wait, Ooishi thought. Did he actually imply that they're involved? Atobe and Echizen? That can't be right.
But either Kirihara hadn't heard the question, or he didn't care. "But so then," the narration continued, "they show up at club, and Niou-sempai and Yagyuu-sempai are like, 'What the fuck, yo? Atobe and Echizen? Could that happen?' and so Jackal-sempai says he heard it too, you know?"
Surely this couldn't be true. Echizen had only been back in Japan for a month and a half, and Atobe was far too flashy for any attachment involving him to have gone unnoticed. Besides that - honestly, would Echizen date anyone?
Well, that might be a bit unfair - Echizen had been twelve the last time they'd seen him. By now he'd passed the age when they'd all taken an interest in that sort of thing. But it was ridiculous to think that those two had suddenly developed the kind of romance that led to running off. The idea that half the Rikkai team had not only heard but believed it left Ooishi dumbstruck.
"So Jackal-sempai starts telling everybody about how he ran into Oshitari from Hyoutei acting all crazy on the street one day, hiding around, and he was all like, 'What's up with that?' and Oshitari tells him he's trying to find a good spot to spy on Atobe and Echizen 'cause they're on a date! You get me? So then Marui-sempai is all like, 'Oh, yeah, an' I overheard Akazawa from Rudolph in a drug store the other day, asking that Mindy kid from Jyousei--'"
"I beg your pardon. Who?" Ooishi interjected.
"Mindy. From Jyousei." Repetition didn't make the statement any more comprehensible.
"Who's Mindy? If I may ask." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Inui look up from scribbling in his notebook.
Kirihara cackled. "Oh, come on. You can't not know Cindy and Mindy. Those mini-twin freak brothers that play doubles? The Unit? Blue-hair's Mindy, Pink-hair's Cindy."
Ooishi wondered briefly: if Tezuka were here instead of in Germany, and he was the one receiving this call, surely he'd have had some way to keep Kirihara in line - but what would it have been? Sadly, almost as soon as the answer occurred to him, he realized precisely how unhelpful it was.
Tezuka would have hung up the phone as soon as he'd heard Kirihara's voice instead of Sanada's, and he, Ooishi, would still have been the one getting an earful when the Rikkai student redialed.
"So by 'Mindy', you mean Tanaka Kouhei-kun?" he asked, a tinge of resigned sadness entering his voice.
"Yeah, him. Mindy." Patience, Ooishi reminded himself. Have patience. He'll get to the point eventually.
As much respect as he was rapidly gaining for Tezuka's hang-up policy, he couldn't just avoid this discussion. Something clearly had happened. Perhaps Oshitari had been fooling around, but had Kirihara said that Tachibana was an eyewitness? The man was practically a saint, and Ooishi wasn't entirely sure that certain members of the younger generation (at Fudomine, at least) didn't address prayers to him.
Besides, Kirihara never would have gotten Sanada's cell phone without a good reason.
"So anyways, Akazawa ran into Mindy in the drug store when he was getting stuff for his chemistry class and he was asking if he'd heard about it 'cause the news was going around Rudolph, right? And Marui-sempai says Mindy totally blew the roof. Just spazzed out - like, flipped his lid, and was all like, 'Do you think I'm my brother?', 'cause it wasn't Mindy who heard it, see? It was Cindy, and Mindy'd already had that Banda creep from Yamabuki trying to bribe him with a PB&J or something to spill, but anyways it was Yanagi-sempai who heard all about that, so whatever."
Ooishi eyed his teammates hanging around in the gym to hear the phone call (not that they could have possibly found his end of the conversation very informative so far). If every other school in the league was in a fever over the news, it seemed unlikely that Seigaku was the exception. He'd have to find out what silly stories his own teammates had decided to believe - after he'd managed to get through Kirihara to speak with Sanada.
"So," Kirihara kept rattling away, "Marui-sempai says when he overheard all that he was like, 'Oh yeah, and didn't that narco from Hyoutei say something or other when he was delivering those invitations to Atobe's party?' 'Cause you know he woke right up when he saw Marui-sempai, right?"
Ooishi was doing his best to keep up, but had to think for a moment before deciding that the person in question had to be Akutagawa Jirou, which would probably mean that 'narco' was for 'narcoleptic', even though he was sure the Rikkai player's analysis was needlessly harsh.
"An' he was going on and on, and what he says is that Atobe said when he handed the invites out that he was gonna make Echizen feel real welcome, if you know what I mean. C'mon, can you top that?"
It didn't really sound like much to top, actually, just nonsense - not that there would be any benefit in explaining that to Kirihara. But if that was all that was behind these rumors, Ooishi decided, then the entire universe had lost the ability to make sound judgments based on evidence. Atobe's speeches might be rife with bravura but never contained any kind of lewd implication. Besides, who took their content seriously?
"Ah, Kirihara-san..." he began objecting, only to be steamrolled by the Rikkai freshman's persistent stream of noise.
"But so, I mean, you know Yanagi-sempai could do better, 'cause he got the real shit. Oh, man, this is F'd up."
At this point, Ooishi was honestly considering hanging up. He could call another member of the Rikkai team, perhaps, and see if he could get a reasonable word - perhaps the chance to ask Sanada what was going on (assuming nothing horrible had happened to Sanada, which he couldn't actually rule out). But if he remembered correctly, he didn't have anyone else's number. Well, except for Yukimura's. Without a doubt, the retired former captain could end this parade of gibberish, but did he really want to bother Yukimura on this?
Maybe I'll give Kirihara another minute or two to get to the point, Ooishi persuaded himself. This couldn't actually go on indefinitely. Could it?
"So the other day, that Mizuki what's-his-nuts was on campus acting all tough like he knew so much, and Yanagi-sempai says he said that he heard how the little prince and his sugar daddy were already on their honeymoon in Tibet, learning how to belly dance from the monks or whatever. Well, I think he said Belgium, actually, but monks in Belgium don't belly dance, you know?"
Ooishi scratched his head, wondering how exactly that brought Tibet into the picture.
"But anyways, so Yanagi-sempai was like, 'No way, man, that's just not possible', right? But then he runs into Minami from Yamabuki at the sushi counter down by Hachiouji station, and Minami's all like, 'Can you believe it, dude?' and Yanagi-sempai's like, 'No, actually,' but whatever, 'cause Minami said the other Jimmy--"
"You mean, Higashikata-san?"
"Yeah, him," Kirihara confirmed. At least he did know all their names. "Well, the courts at the school were frosted over, so they were having practice inside, right? And Jimmy Two said he heard the reporters from Monthly Pro Tennis talking about it outside the Yamabuki gym before they came in for an interview, and that bitch reporter was just wailing, you know? And the belly dancing or whatever was bullshit 'cause he hadn't heard anything like that, but Yanagi-sempai had already figured that 'cause Atobe and Echizen were both still in the country and all, but from what he said the two of 'em gotta be downtown hardstyle, if you know what I mean, 'cause let's face it - Monthly Pro Tennis is a respectable rag, right? So now Yanagi-sempai's like, 'Well shit. Now I gotta know,' so he did some digging. Oh man."
Kirihara took a momentary pause to laugh, and the reeling sensation in Ooishi's head began to fade. He never would have imagined before now that a stream of discussion could be rapid enough to make one physically dizzy, but apparently it was possible. Maybe the sound waves were disturbing the fluid in his inner ear? But that didn't seem right. Maybe Inui would know, he thought. Then, as Kirihara's laughter faded away, he realized that this could be his best chance yet to take control. He had to focus if he ever wanted to stop hearing the Rikkai player yammering in his ear about the inanities of tennis league gossip.
But he was too late; Kirihara had already begun again. "So when he asks around Yamabuki, it sounds like Rudolph only heard about it in the first place because of when Sengoku was out at the grocery store and he ran into Kaneda in the toilet paper aisle and let his big yap run, so Yanagi-sempai ditches that end and starts working on how Monthly Pro Tennis got it, and it's just way too jacked. The dude reporter, Inoue, got it at Jyousei, and you just know anything from there's gotta be fucked up."
"Now, Kirihara-san," Ooishi broke in, "Jyousei Shounan is a v--"
"A total freakshow, am I right?" Kirihara stole back. "But that's where the reporter dude heard it, 'cause he was there doing a feature when the little demented freaky dude --"
"You said..." Ooishi stopped and tried to recall the which of the twins was 'Cindy' (he was fairly certain that was the right twin), trying not to take so long that Kirihara started off again. If he could stay ahead of Kirihara's train of thought, maybe he could skip all the intermediate commentary and hurry this along.
He hoped so, anyway.
"You said Youhei-kun was the one who heard it?"
"Well, yeah, but no," Ooishi heard Kirihara say, and he hung his head with a pained sigh. When he looked up, he could see sympathy in Eiji's eyes and a mixture of curiosity and amusement in almost everyone else's. "I mean the other little freak. The demented one, with the big-ass doubles partner."
Ooishi closed his eyes, rubbing his temple with his free hand. Keeping up with Kirihara's terminology was quickly growing more exhausting than Inui's practice menus. "Are you talking about Oota-kun, Kirihara-san?"
"Who's that?" Kirihara asked.
"Nevermind," Ooishi replied, shaking his head, and the monologue resumed.
"So anyways, the freak runs in to practice and starts freakin' out to Kajimoto about how he was in the music store buying some sheet music when some giant reaches over him and takes the last one of the song he wanted from the pile, right from under his hands! Only it turns out it wasn't a giant, it was Ootori from Hyoutei and he says he's really sorry to take the last one, but can he please have it because he thinks it's perfect for Atobe and Echizen and he wants to learn it to celebrate how happy they're gonna be together."
Ooishi stared blankly at the wall in front of him. Was there any kind of sound basis for this rumor at all? Well, not counting third-hand tales about Tachibana catching Atobe and Echizen in the act, which could well be as much a fabrication as Kirihara's assertions about Tibet. And if this was nothing but overblown hearsay, how had Kirihara gotten Sanada's phone? Could Sanada be injured? Or even dead in a ditch somewhere? No, surely Kirihara would have mentioned that by now. Wouldn't he? Besides, Kirihara must have his own phone. He wouldn't need to take Sanada's to call for help.
And why would he call me, of all people?
Suddenly, the Rikkai player's words cut into his thoughts, and Ooishi realized he'd phased out and skipped a chunk of monologue. "So over at Jyousei, he's talkin' them getting married, and Ootori playin' the march, and all kinds of shit, and it's just out of control, you know?"
At least he hadn't missed much.
"And Yanagi-sempai's all like, 'Well, that's a whole fuckton of nothing,' right? 'Cause not only didn't Ootori say jack about them getting married, Yanagi-sempai says the whole thing couldn't have happened in the first place and the little Jyousei freak must be on a trip."
"What?" Ooishi asked.
He couldn't help reacting - the conclusion was such a non sequitir - and knew he'd regret it before the explanation even began. "Well, see, 'cause Yanagi-sempai says there's no way he was after that piece of sheet music in the first place. See, it was Chopin. Yanagi-sempai says the little freak's hands are too small to play Chopin, and Yanagi-sempai would know."
Quietly, out of the background noise on the phone, he could hear Sanada calling Kirihara's name sharply. Ooishi felt oddly relieved by the sound - it meant both that Sanada was not dead in a ditch and that there was some chance that some form of restraint would soon be exercised. However, it also meant that Sanada was standing nearby, allowing Kirihara to use his phone, which was at least twice as unsettling as thinking that Kirihara had gotten it by fouler means.
"Hold your horses," Kirihara whispered, with his voice muffled as if he'd put his hand over the receiver. "I'm getting there!"
Getting to what? Ooishi wondered, mouth agape. And if he was saying that to Sanada... Sanada couldn't possibly be involved in this mess? Could he?
"Fine," Ooishi replied, trying to prevent the flow of words resuming and get out of the 'conversation'. "So this was all a little misunderstanding that got out of control somehow. Look, may I speak with Sanada for a moment?"
"Just a sec, that's not all. So, the only backup the little freak had at Jyousei was Cindy, right?"
His patience was starting to feel quite a bit of strain. "And 'Cindy' is Youhei-kun," he replied. Well, at least if they'd made it to 'Cindy's' part of the story, they had to be nearly done.
"Right, him. But it turns out he only kinda heard it from Ibu over at Fudomine. See, Cindy was in the tennis shop and there was Ibu, just mumbling like always about random shit, and he was talking about how he couldn't believe Echizen had hooked up with Atobe and he didn't know Echizen swung that way, but whatever, it was cool, it just wasn't for him 'cause he liked girls better, right? Only Cindy thought Ibu was talking about him and calling him a girl and blew up in his face 'cause he's one of those guys who gets all touchy when people start talking like he's a girl, you know? Him an' his brother both."
"Gosh," Ooishi muttered, "How odd." He knew that the situation could be much worse, so he tried to calm himself down by repeating like a mantra in his head, 'Sanada isn't dead in a ditch, Sanada isn't dead in a ditch...' but it was only slightly helpful.
"I know, right? Like, if they were going to get mad about it, why'd they do up like girls in the first place, right? Anyways, it wasn't til he was walking away and he hears Ibu griping about random people saying random shit to people who weren't talking to 'em that Cindy realizes Ibu wasn't talking about him or to him, he was just talking, but he still keeps walking away, and I don't blame him. But anyways that was how he heard, so who the hell knows if any of it was true or not, right?"
Ooishi dropped the phone away from his ear and took a deep breath. The chance to take a break was well worth the increasingly small possibility that he'd miss something relevant. Eiji raised an eyebrow at him. "What's he saying?" his partner asked.
Sighing, Ooishi shook his head and tried to think of an answer. "A lot. Kirihara's caught some crazy rumor going around that Atobe and Echizen are planning to elope." The row of blankly non-plussed faces on the regulars and other club members slowly turned nervous as they looked around at one another. Oh, they've definitely heard something, he concluded, but decided to put off quizzing them until after he'd finished with Kirihara. He steeled himself to go in and end the stream of nonsense, took a deep breath and raised the phone back to his ear.
"-- you know? So when ol' Banda heard it from that Dan kid, he went sneaking around trying to find out what was up and he mistook Mindy for Cindy and went after him with this peanut butter sandwich, like I said --"
"Kirihara-san, I really don't think the peanut butter sandwich is relevant to the matters at hand," he interrupted with all the force of impatience he could muster, which by now was at least slightly formidable. "Could you please put Sa--"
"Aw, but the sandwich is the best part!"
"Kirihara-san..."
"Tsch. Fine. I'll skip the sandwich," he said as a loud crash in the background nearly made Ooishi jump. It sounded like nothing so much as his co-conversant landing on a bleacher seat at high velocity, followed by smaller metallic clangs going at a fast clip. "So then, Yanagi-sempai thought he'd basically figured how it was all bullshit when he went back to Rudolph and found out it wasn't just Kaneda who'd heard it." Ooishi sighed (again) as he heard Sanada's voice (again) bellowing in the background under the stream of absurdity, growing ever more impatient. The metallic clangs changed to a barely audible slap of sneakers on pavement.
Was Kirihara running?
"'Cause see, those Kisarazu twins were sneaking out of Mizuki's father's enka concert that Mizuki made them all go to, right? And on the way out, they ran into Ishida from Fudomine who was on the phone with somebody tellin' them that Atobe and Echizen were running off to Thailand, and they were all like 'What's up with that, yo?' and got the whole story out of him."
Ooishi could hear the unmistakable rattle of a chain-link fence in the background noise, and a slight pause in the speech punctuated by a slam that he certainly hoped wasn't Kirihara jumping from a fence onto pavement. That was dangerous, especially one-handed. Alas, the call of 'Jackal, I'll go up - you go around!' from what sounded like Marui made him fear that it was a vain hope.
"The next day," Kirihara resumed with the terrible sound of glee in his tone, "when Mizuki was giving 'em shit 'cause he knew they ditched, they thought they could distract him by saying what they heard, but he'd already heard it from Kaneda, and then Duck Boy walks in, and he's all like, 'You're not gonna believe what I just heard from Tachibana's little sister playing street tennis!' and they're all like 'Echizen's fucking Atobe? Tell us something we don't know!' and he's like 'Yeah, how'd you guys hear?' But seriously--"
"Now, I've met An-chan," Ooishi interrupted. "That can't possibly be what she said--"
"Well, no, not technically, but she did say her brother saw them at the courts, playing tennis, and Atobe said it was a date." The voice on the other end of the line gave an evil chuckle. "Like Yanagi-sempai said, Q-E-Fuckin'-D! You wanna tell me how a tennis date ends? Huh, Ooishi-san? Do ya? And this is Tachibana we're talking about here. If Tachibana said it, it's gotta be true. Man, I wish I had Echizen's new number. So come on, spill it! He's in your guys' club. Is he there? Can you ask him?"
"Well, no, Kirihara-san," he replied, glad for a (potential) chance to end this at last. Part of him hoped that if he ignored the question it would somehow go away. Not that there would a problem with Echizen dating Atobe, of course (assuming anything outside of tennis could interest Echizen). It wasn't as if Hyoutei's captain was someone he particularly disapproved of. This just sounded for all the world like one of those rumors that got started from nothing and blew up out of all proportion. The sooner it was left to vanish, the better. "You know, he's not actually in the high school division yet. He moves up in April."
"Oh," Kirihara replied, and the Rikkai student decided to stop running (if Ooishi could properly judge from the lack of the sound of footfall and the growing volume of his teammates yelling 'Get him!' and 'Akaya, if you take one more step, I'll kill you.'). "So I guess you don't see him during the day then," the freshman continued, unfazed. "But do you ever see him on the weekends? Does he say anything? Maybe you should just give me his number. Do you have it?"
"I can get you his number if you want, but Kirihara-san, I really don't think he's eloping anywhere. He only just came back to Japan to concentrate on his education." Ooishi paused for a moment in the blissful silence to think. There couldn't be anything more to say, could there? "Look. Could you put Sanada on, please?" he asked.
Kirihara, however, didn't reply to his question.
"Give me the phone and let me talk to Ooishi, Akaya," came a very annoyed Sanada's voice over the line. Ooishi sighed deeply in relief. Soon, this would all be over.
"Chill out. Geez... I thought you wanted me to ask him about Echizen 'cause you didn't wanna do it."
"I've changed my mind. I'll talk to Ooishi myself."
"All right, fine, he wants to talk to you, too... Just a sec... So, Ooishi-san, before I let you go, you have to hear about the peanut butter--"
"Just give me the goddamn phone!!" Sanada thundered. All the regulars jumped in surprise - apparently, it was loud enough for them to hear, too. It was certainly loud enough to make Ooishi pull the phone a few inches from his ear and terrifying enough that he almost didn't want to risk bringing it close again. Almost.
"Wow, fine," Kirihara said into the receiver. "PMS much?"
"I can hear you, Akaya," a very disgruntled Sanada replied. "Everyone! I want you lined up on the other end of the courts where I can see you in five... four... three... two... That's better! No one moves from that spot til I say you can move!" As the Rikkai player let out a long-suffering groan, Ooishi assumed it was safe to start breathing again. "Ooishi. I apologize for that waste of your time."
"Oh no, I--"
"I'd hoped to settle this mess without putting any more fuel on the fire, but I suppose I've got no choice. I didn't have Akaya call because of some idiotic rumor."
Ooishi listened to Sanada's pained sigh, and quite honestly wasn't sure what Sanada meant. He couldn't possibly be calling because anything in that haze of insanity was true. He just couldn't.
"I got a call from Atobe a few nights ago. Atobe is convinced that..." Sanada paused, as if he couldn't quite put words to what it was Atobe thought. "Honestly, I'm worried about his mental stability. He's sure that he and Echizen are involved."
"Oh," Ooishi replied.
"I haven't told this to anyone but Yukimura, and I expect you to keep it in confidence as well. I don't want to encourage any of this nonsense."
Had the person talking been anyone but Sanada, he might have been tempted to interpret the preceding statements as a joke; but it was Sanada, and he didn't sound amused. "Of course," Ooishi said. "I understand completely. And I agree, it sounds ridiculous, but, if he called you and said so... Are you certain they're not involved?" He couldn't believe he was asking this - because after all, Echizen was still Echizen - and he certainly didn't want to have the Seigaku team jumping to conclusions any more than Sanada wanted to encourage the conclusions Rikkai had reached. But there was one other factor to consider that could not be cast aside lightly: Atobe was Atobe. He hadn't earned his name in society by making entirely unfounded assertions. "You Know Who can be fairly extreme, it's true. Still, he's rarely ever... ah... completely out of the ballpark, as it were."
Ooishi heard a heavy, bitter exhalation across the line. "Of this, I am painfully aware. But his perspective can be extremely flawed. If Atobe finds out that he's mistaken - and I don't want to think about him being right - it won't go well for anyone. I was hoping you'd spoken with Echizen."
"Unfortunately, no," he replied. "The last time I saw Echizen was at the party."
"I see." It was hard to say over the phone if Sanada sounded more frustrated or disappointed. Of course, it probably wouldn't have been easier to tell in person. "Well, thank you for your time."
"Of course. And I'll be sure to let you know if I hear anything. Well, if I hear anything definite, anyway."
"Only call me if I won't be happier in ignorance," Sanada replied, and the line went abruptly dead.
Ooishi flipped his phone closed and looked to the expectant faces of his teammates. They'd waited quite some time to find out what he'd been hearing, and they'd probably walk away disappointed. Even if he could have remembered everything Kirihara had said, and even if Sanada hadn't requested his confidence on the matter of Atobe, it wasn't his place to explain everything he'd heard opined about Echizen in the past... Ooishi checked his watch.
Six minutes? That's it?
Well, Kirihara had been talking awfully fast.
At any rate, the important thing was to keep the Seigaku team from going completely crazy over the rumors. Or the news. Or whatever it turned out to be.
"Okay," he began. His first step had to be to get some kind of real, direct information on the table. There was nothing better for clearing up confusion. "Has anyone spoken with Echizen in the last few weeks? Anyone at all?"
Only a very nervous Momoshiro raised his hand.
"Momo. Good. I don't suppose he mentioned Atobe? Did he?"
The visible fall in Momoshiro's expression and the jump in the level of excitement all the rest of his teammates were displaying did not help Ooishi's day. "He... ah... mentioned that they'd played tennis together. Just when I'd asked him what he'd been up to."
Tennis, Ooishi reminded himself, was just tennis. Tennis was something all of them did with all kinds of people, all the time and under all kinds of circumstances. There was nothing inherently meaningful in that, even if he didn't need Kirihara to remind him that a tennis date could lead to significantly more intimate situations in short order.
Not that it's any kind of problem if Echizen and Atobe decided that they had a connection, he reminded himself again. It was important to keep that fact clear in his head. He was sure that everyone on the team would be very happy for Echizen if he'd fallen in love with anybody. Still, the ideas of 'Echizen' and 'in love' were two things that he had trouble picturing together.
"Okay. And that was all he said?" Ooishi asked. A troubled look crossed Momoshiro's face again. "Momo. Was that all he said?"
"Well, sorta. It's just, I guess I asked him about a couple of the things I heard around Fudomine when I was picking up An-chan, and... ah..." Momo ran his hand through his hair. "I mean, I didn't ask him anything specific. Just kinda mentioned that I heard... stuff, see?"
Ooishi sighed. The entire club had turned their rapt attention to the next words that would come out of Momoshiro's mouth. If Ooishi had to guess, he'd say he was the only person in all of Japan who hadn't gotten wind of the rumors.
Momo, meanwhile, had gone ketchup-red in the face. "A-all he said was... 'Tsch. Figures.'"
"Aah, that's it!?" Eiji cried out, practically vaulting over Fuji.
"Well, I wasn't gonna ask him for details!" the freshman called back.
"Geez," Saeki added, pushing his hair off his forehead. "When all the guys called to ask, I was sure it couldn't be true. He's seriously dating Atobe?"
Fuji nodded in agreement. "Just like I told Yuuta. I didn't think Echizen had such bad taste." Ooishi considered reminding his friend that Atobe wasn't really as bad as all that, and this wouldn't reflect poorly on Echizen's taste in men, but he held his tongue. Fuji had some fairly strong opinions on the topic of Atobe.
And unfortunately, it was clearly too late to remind his teammates not to jump to conclusions. Stories started to pour out from every side about who had heard what and where they'd heard it, all in one, big cacophonous mess. Conclusions were most definitely had.
"I thought that was all a bad dream," Arai said, standing off to the side of the group rubbing his temples. "I mean, that whole party was insane. Why should Atobe saying weird shit be any different?"
"You mean you heard Atobe say it?" Taniyama, one of the third years, turned to him to ask.
"Don't remind me!"
"And the guys at Fudomine were sayin' that Tachibana ran into Taki coming out of the jeweler's store the other day and tried to find out what was going on," Momo was telling a few of his classmates, "and Taki said he'd heard Oshitari raggin' on Atobe--"
"--he walked in the door and said to me, 'You wouldn't believe what that freak from Hyoutei did...' Apparently, that Akutagawa boy had just jumped out of the bushes near the bus stop and started telling Yuuta that Echizen was Atobe's soulmate--"
"Hmm... Actually, the probability that anything illicit occurred in Thailand is below 1%. Evidence up to today indicated--"
"--and so when I ran into Taka-san in the grocery store, he started telling me what Kongawa told him, and we both thought it was just too weird to be true--"
"--I mean, since before he left!? For freak's sake, he was twelve. You don't do that... You just don't!"
"No, no. Kongawa Junpei, from Midoriyama. See, he'd run into Mukahi from Hyoutei down at the theatre--"
"--a statistical likelihood of 97.3% that Atobe's assertions stem from a one-sided attraction, with a 16% chance that Echizen hasn't noticed his advances. But based on that account, I think I'll have to track down Oshitari at Hyoutei for an interview."
"Sempai. Please don't."
"So, they told you Tachibana said he saw everything? Well, damn. If he said it, it must be true."
"Should we call Tachibana?"
"Everyone!" Ooishi called out as loudly as he could, holding up his cellphone. Silence fell over most of the team.
"--An' he said," a particularly familiar voice continued, "all that stuff Mukahi was sayin' gave him more nightmares than the movie, and c'mon! He was there seeing Desperate Measures II: The Revenge. That's scary."
"Eiji..." he whispered, and his partner jumped, covering his mouth with a squeak.
After a moment and a glance at their teammates, the hands came down "Aah! Ooishi, I'm sorry! I just figured you wouldn't want to know about some stupid rumor."
He shook his head to let Eiji know it wasn't a problem and lifted a finger to his mouth to ask him to just be quiet for a moment, then turned back to the room at large. "Everyone, listen up!" Ooishi called out.
Finally, he had a hush and the attention of every member of the club.
"I am calling Echizen," he said, and opened his contact list while his teammates looked at each other in silence.
The line rang twice before the middle schooler answered. "Ooishi-sempai. Hey."
"Look, Echizen, I'm really sorry to bother you about this," he began, "but I was sort of hoping you could settle some silly rumors that some of the guys have--"
"No, I'm not dating Atobe," Echizen interrupted, sounding like he'd probably heard that question more times than he could count. The tone of utter boredom in his voice gave Ooishi an odd sort of relief.
"Oh. Well. I mean, of course you aren't," said Ooishi. Then, it occurred to him: what if Echizen were involved with Atobe, as Atobe had certainly claimed, but was just embarrassed to tell his friends? It was clear from the bewildered furor that was sweeping through the league that he had every right to think that his peers might not take the news with the kind of mature, unbiased outlook such an important and personal decision deserved. He couldn't just say 'of course' like that and imply that Echizen shouldn't date Atobe, if that was what he really wanted. "Well, that's not to say that it would be a bad thing, though," he amended. "I mean, you know that if you decided it was for the best, we'd all support you in your decision. You know that, right? So, if you were going out with Atobe, you could tell us."
Echizen paused. "I'm not, though," he said at last.
Ooishi laughed a bit to try and break the awkward tension. "I see. Well, of course, that's just fine, too." Though, as Sanada had implied, it didn't actually make everything fine. There was still the matter of an apparent misjudgment on Atobe's part, which he (like Sanada) did not relish the thought of trying to correct. He didn't even know where to begin trying to convince Atobe that something he believed was false - and surely, if Echizen wasn't interested, Atobe's opinion would have to be set right as soon as possible. His only hope was that Atobe didn't actually believe it, and that all this was simply a misunderstanding between Atobe and Sanada. And between Atobe and Arai. And Atobe and Oshitari. And... well, actually, perhaps they did have a problem here. Still, it was a relief that Echizen could provide some clear perspective on the situation. Clarity was a good thing. "Then you must not be eloping to Thailand or any of that nonsense either. Right?" he asked in jest.
"Nah, Thailand was just dinner."
"Ah, I see. Just..." Ooishi paused and considered for a moment the meaning of what Echizen had just said. "Dinner? You went to Thailand for dinner?"
"He wanted Thai."
Ooishi considered briefly asking if Atobe was aware of the plethora of Thai restaurants in the Tokyo metropolitan area, but thought better of further inquiry.
"Ah. Yes. But... Echizen." After some thought, Ooishi decided there was no way to phrase his question gently without it becoming unclear. "Why did you go to Thailand with him?"
"I was hungry," the middle school student answered, as if there were nothing more normal than taking a quick jaunt to Thailand for a meal.
"So," he replied, trying to restate and get confirmation of the situation he'd just heard described - in the name of perfect and necessary clarity, of course. "When you say you're not dating Atobe, you mean you two just went on a date. Do I have that right?" Eiji was starting to look like he might explode at any second, and Kaidou was throwing troubled looks at Inui's murmured commentary and low chuckles.
"Umm, Ooishi-sempai?" Echizen's tone sounded like he might want to ask if Ooishi had taken a hard knock to the head. "You know I used to go with Momo-sempai and Kikumaru-sempai for food all the time, right? Sometimes we grab dinner after we play. That's not a date."
Clearly, his once and future teammate didn't see the fine line Ooishi put between 'grabbing a burger with the guys' and 'international travel with someone of professed romantic attachment'. What was more surprising, however, was that this sounded like a regular event. Perhaps not Thailand specifically, but the tennis at least.
"Sometimes?" Ooishi asked. "How often do you play?"
"On Sundays," Echizen replied.
"Wait... you mean every Sunday?"
"Well, so far."
Ooishi blinked in utter confusion at the matter-of-fact manner of his speech. If they were meeting that regularly and Atobe had even the slightest personal interest, it was quite frankly unsurprising that the Hyoutei player had become confused. "Echizen, are you aware that Atobe thinks you're dating?" He had to ask. There was always the chance, however unlikely, that the middle school student hadn't noticed.
"Oh, yeah. I tell him he's wrong, but he never listens."
It wasn't exactly clear what he was supposed to make of that. While Ooishi would admit that the line between 'hanging out' and 'a date' could, in such situations, be mostly a boundary of volition, there did come a certain point where more active steps needed to be taken. "Well, have you considered, maybe, turning him down?" he suggested. "Atobe might get the idea if you, ah... don't go out with him."
"Meh," said Echizen, thoroughly unconcerned. Ooishi's jaw nearly hit the floor. "I still want to play him, so it's not like it bothers me-- Ah, Ooishi-sempai, I'm sorry. There's a call on the other line. I'll see you 'round."
"Right," he said, and heard the line go silent. Slowly, Ooishi flipped his phone closed.
"H~mm." Eiji rested his hands on his head and twisted his mouth into a thoughtful grin. "Sounds to me like o-chibi's in denial."
He stared at his phone, which had been the source of so much oddity today. "I don't know that I'd call it denial, exactly. Echizen seems pretty clear on the fact that Atobe is trying to date him. He's just, ah... ignoring it."
"How does that work?" another of the third years, Samejima, asked.
Inui turned to reply, pushing up his glasses. "Applied apathy is a particular skill of Echizen's. His power of indifference is two levels of magnitude above the ordinary man's - at least, it was before he went abroad. On the other hand, Atobe has a demonstrated charisma effect of approximately the same strength that causes those around him to acquiesce to his concept of reality." The older student took a slow step backwards. "It seems likely to me that each is simply acting according to his own will, as would be their wont. In Atobe's case, apparently, the will to pursue Echizen, and in Echizen's case, I assume, the will to play tennis without submitting to Atobe's pursuit. Those two forces would appear to be in balance, but the ongoing stability of that balance is subject to too many unknowns to currently be certain. I'll need to gather more information on the subject."
"And that's not denial?" Eiji followed up, raising his eyebrow.
"Which of them would be denying what, precisely?" Inui asked.
Fuji broke in before Eiji could answer, laughing to himself. "So you're saying that Atobe is dating Echizen, but failing to get Echizen to date him? That's priceless."
"That's ridiculous." Saeki countered. "Come on. Seriously - you can't be dating someone who's not dating you. It takes two to tango."
"And yet," Ooishi said, shaking his head.
Raising his hand into the heavy silence, Momo glanced around at his fellow teammates and asked, "Am I the only one who thinks Atobe might just be off his nut?"
Whatever he or anyone else might have said was cut off by a sudden pop music beat filling the gym. Ooishi jumped, holding his phone away from him at arm's length as it lit up and rang out some English vocal asking "Annie, are you OK?" Not that holding it at a distance helped with the sound. The acoustics in the gymnasium were terrifyingly good.
He turned to give Eiji a disapproving look, but his partner just shrugged and mouthed, 'Shiraishi'.
Ooishi took a calming breath and flipped open the phone. "Hello?" he said. "Ooishi here."
"Oh, good. Listen, Ooishi..." Shiraishi replied, his words a bit broken up by what sounded like a struggle. He could hear a voice - doubtless, it was Tooyama-kun - yelling in the background for Shiraishi to let him go. "I need to know when Echizen and Atobe are leaving for their honeymoon. Kin-chan just found out and now he's throwing a fit."
"Koshimae!! Don't leave, Koshima~e! You hafta play a match with me first! Shiraishi, lemme go!" The wailing continued in the background as they spoke. Ooishi could already feel a headache coming on. How this had spread so far and become so overblown was beyond his understanding.
"Their... honeymoon."
"Yeah. If it's not for a bit, maybe I can stop this monster from running up to Tokyo today."
"Well, Shiraishi-san, you see... they're not actually getting married."
"Oh. Well, I know gay marriage per se isn't legal in Thailand, but if they're committed to each--"
"Pardon me, Shiraishi-san," Ooishi said, cutting in. Shiraishi certainly didn't deserve any outright rudeness, and he wouldn't go that far, but at the same time he'd heard enough of all this nonsense. "They're not actually... I mean, the whole Thailand thing was just a misunderstanding. They had dinner. That's it. And they're back already."
"Oh. So, Echizen's not leaving the country?"
"Not permanently anyway, no."
"Kin-chan, stop that. Ooishi says Koshimae isn't going anywhere. Now--"
"Koshimae!!" he heard Tooyama-kun yelling, the sound growing distant.
Shiraishi said away from the phone, "Would somebody catch him, please?" then sighed and returned to the conversation. That was one problem Ooishi was quite glad he didn't have to deal with on his team. "So, they're not gonna elope, huh? I wonder if we should call off the wedding presents," he said with a laugh.
Ooishi replied with a laugh of his own at Shiraishi's little joke.
At least, he hoped it was a joke.
"That was a little quick to be running off together, I guess, but you never can tell with those two. So, if Echizen gets any weird packages, just let him know that everyone out here is happy for them. Okay?"
So, perhaps not a joke, then.
"But, you see, the whole thing was just a mix-up. They're not-- Well." Ooishi stopped and corrected his statement. "Echizen's not dating Atobe."
"Say what, now?" Shiraishi laughed. "Even Tachibana could make a mistake, sure, but Kenya definitely heard straight from his cousin at Hyoutei that Atobe was gone on Echizen."
"Well, that may be true," Ooishi admitted.
"And that they've got a steady date every Sunday."
"Yes, well, they do apparently meet every Sunday. To play tennis."
He couldn't exactly deny that.
"Sounds like a date to me," said Shiraishi.
And Ooishi had to admit - it did, rather. "Yes, well... He's still--"
"Kin-chan! How many times do I have to tell you!?" he heard the other player yell suddenly. With an exasperated sigh, Shiraishi took his leave before Ooishi could even think about trying to explain. "Thanks for the update, Ooishi. Give my regards to the happy couple."
Ooishi spend a moment listening to the silence of the disconnected call before bringing the phone down in front of his eyes and watching the lights on the display go dark.
"But he's still not dating Atobe," he said to the now-quiet phone, and turned to face his club. Ooishi ran his hand back through his hair slowly, scratching the back of his neck. "...I think."
This was probably going to be a long day.