The Eternal Vow

It was early at night when they all returned to the palace. Kurogane was worn out from fighting the oni that were harming one of the provincial villages. But exhaustion was not on his mind. He was shaking with horror, unsettled by the casualties that evening. He abandoned his sword on the steps and dashed to someone he knew he could only talk to at that moment.

Fai.

Nearly half way across the grounds Fai sat in his room, practicing his kanji so he could eventually begin writing letters as he had promised. When he heard the thundering sound of someone running, he paused, his brush a few inches above the parchment as he looked towards his door curiously, wondering what had happened.

Kurogane slammed the door open without even thinking to knock like he normally would. He stood there gasping for breath. Normally he would greet Fai but he felt like couldn't speak at all. His throat was too tightened. Kurogane took one step forward but he felt his knees betraying him. Before he knew it he collapsed on the floor.

"Kuro-san?" Fai dropped his brush and scrambled across his room to Kurogane. He grabbed his friend's shoulders and tried to see if he was hurt.

'Speak,' a nagging voice rang in Kurogane's head. But he felt like he couldn't, even though he desperately wanted to. Instead he clenched his fingers tightly with his head still face down, too ashamed to even look up at his friend.

"Fai-kun." Before he could even stop himself Kurogane pounded his fist over and over on the floor and felt tears of anger fall.

Fai felt afraid as he watched Kurogane. He reached down and placed his hands on top of the other's to try and stop the boy before he hurt himself. "What's wrong?"

"People died…," the young lord struggled to say.

"You mean the oni killed some of the soldiers?" Fai asked softly, trying not to think about what that must have been like to see.

Kurogane shook his head. "Villagers," he whispered. A lot of emotions were clouding his head and it was hurting to breathe.

"It wasn't your fault. I know Kuro-tan did his best." Fai tried to be comforting even though he didn't really know what to do. Remembering how he had been upset and how he had been consoled, Fai wrapped his arms around Kurogane in a hug.

Kurogane didn't want to be hugged right now. Quaking in anger, he removed himself from Fai's grip. "No…It was." He laid out his arms, the ones that allowed him to yield his katana, yet failed him. "I wasn't strong enough."

Something snapped inside of him.

"If I was stronger no one would have died!" he yelled so loudly.

"Kuro-min…" Fai stared at the familiarity of those words and a chill ran up his spine because of it. "You're still learning and you tried. That's all someone can ask for."

"But…but…If I'm not strong enough by the time I'm the lord," Kurogane spewed angrily. "Then I would have failed the people." He was seething with anger, seething with guilt.

"What's going on here?" the lord demanded. He and Kurogane's mother along with the retainer stepped into Fai's room. It was clear that they had been looking for Kurogane. The young lord refused to speak for himself.

"He says he wants to be stronger." Fai looked up at them sadly, not sure what he could do now. He wasn't used to having to console people and he felt guilty because of it.

Kurogane's father let out a sigh. "Look at me, Kurogane."

This was serious and the young lord knew it. He slowly raised his head. Although he was no longer crying, there was something different in him if one looked into his eyes.

"Listen to me; you're too hard on yourself," Toriho told his son, trying to comfort him.

"But I-" Kurogane began to protest but his father interrupted him. The others watched in silence, letting father and son talk amongst them. Kurogane's father would know best about this, Fai supposed, so he sat back and waited.

"I will hear none of that. Given the nature of wars and oni invasions, it is impossible to save everybody's lives. You cannot physically demand yourself to do the impossible." Toriho paused to let the words sink in his son.

"The young lord will have to simply train. After all his father didn't win every battle, but he had help and as he grew he became stronger as well," the family retainer added with a soft smile.

"Exactly, you are only fourteen years old and you still have a lot of room for improvement. But for now, you have done what you can. Do you understand?"

Kurogane simply remained there. He knew he still had a lot to learn and master, but he couldn't let the horrific deaths of innocent people escape him. He would have to train to get stronger, to keep his vow he made as a little boy.

"Yes," he said.

"While his father is more than capable of training Kurogane…if he wishes it then there is something we can do to advance his training." Fai looked up to see Kurogane's mother smiling serenely, but he could see that the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"But Chichiue's the strongest! What does Hahaue mean there's 'something' advanced?" Kurogane blurted, bewildered that there was someone that was capable of providing him the training he craved that even his father may not be able to.

"He is, but you could go to the capital and train under the empress' personal ninja there," Tsumebe informed him as her husband looked towards her with a deep frown. His father looked to his son once more. "You would have to stay there until you finished your training though."

Train under the empress' personal ninja guard? The implications ran heavily in Kurogane's head. The shinobi guard was considered the strongest in all of Nihon and to train with them would be a great honor. Yet it would bear a heavy toll as implied by his mother's sadness and his father's frown. He rarely saw his father frown. If he went, he would be away from home for who knows how long. Away from Hahaue, Chichiue, and Fai. Could he do it?

"I…"

"It's your choice and whatever you decide will be alright with us. We will all be here for you whether you decide to go to Shirasagi or stay home," his mother told him with a comforting tone. She knew her son was hurt and that if training and honing his skills would help him conquer his fear and resignation, then she would help him.

"But, Chichiue! Will Suwa be alright?"

"Of course it will, are you saying I can't handle things, brat?" His father tried to look like he was scowling while attempting not to smirk at his son's worry. Reaching forward he ruffled his son's hair. "I've been protecting our borders long before you were born!"

Kurogane merely frowned in response. He knew his parents well enough that they would handle it well should he choose to train at Shirasagi. They were both strong enough to protect their homeland.

"Alright, I will train at Shirasagi. If it means I can become strong to protect Hahaue, Chichiue, and everyone in Suwa, and…" He hastily glanced at Fai. Would Fai be fine if he left home? "…Fai-kun, then I will go." He kneeled down in front of his parents. "And I will come back to Suwa when I'm ready."

"I'll send out a letter today then. In two weeks time you had best be ready. I'll take you myself since with your mother and Fai-kun Suwa will be okay if I am gone for a few days," his father explained. He gave a glance over his shoulder to his second in command, who in turn nodded deftly and left to send out one of their messenger hawks.

"Alright, Chichiue."

Kurogane was speechless. After everything that had happened that evening, he had settled on leaving home for who knows how long to be under the tutelage of the shinobi army. But if anything, he knew he must grow stronger to keep that vow.

Fai listened to all of this with mixed feelings. Kurogane would be leaving and he would be alone again. When he looked to his friend though he knew he couldn't argue against it. Kurogane looked hopeful and he needed this more than he needed someone to hang out with. He knew that the other would suffer from nightmares and such; he had gone through that already and still was.

The young lord could feel it in the room. He could feel the apprehension stirring in everyone present in Fai's room, of all places to be.

"Now, I expect to see you for training this evening. We'll leave you two as we still have things to tend to," his father said, noting how Fai looked away from them before he led his wife out of the room so the children could be alone.

Kurogane didn't expect to be left alone with Fai so soon. He turned to look at his friend. "Fai-kun, I…"

"Kuro-san will come back stronger than ever. Maybe he won't be so grumpy next time we see each other?" Fai smiled as he looked at his friend. He knew it would take years before Kurogane would return to Suwa as it would with any type of training.

"What makes you think I'm grumpy?" Kurogane scowled, knowing that he had pretty much proven Fai's point. It was easier to say that than to admit how he really felt – how he would miss his friend. But in two weeks he wouldn't need to let that get to him. He was doing this for all of Suwa, he reassured himself.

"You frown and scowl a lot," Fai pointed out with a laugh. He would miss Kurogane, but with the time they had left, he would have to try and spend as much time as he could with him. "Though when you leave it means I have to work harder to read and write 'cause you have to write letters to me."

"You will write back too, then," Kurogane responded bluntly. "But I can't guarantee that I will write frequently because who knows how much time training will take up when I'm over there."

"I know. But if you don't write at all, then I'll come and beat Kuro-wankoro up," Fai said with a smile as he held his fist up for emphasis.

"Tch, don't be an idiot," Kurogane shot back with a smirk.

"Kuro-chan's mean." He pouted as he got up. "You only have two weeks. What do you want to do now?"

"Honestly, I don't know." The young lord bit his lip. The events earlier were still fresh in his mind and he knew he wanted to shake it off so badly, but at the same time it felt…improper to cast them off. "Chichiue did say I would train with him later tonight."

"Then we can sit here until dinner," he offered, thinking that Kurogane was probably still troubled by whatever he had seen and didn't need to be alone.

Kurogane nodded in agreement. He sat down on the floor with his chin propped in one fist, deep in thought. "Fai-kun…was this how you felt when you left your world?"

"Yes, but it wasn't just a village I saw lost," Fai said as he put away his ink and papers so the ink wouldn't dry out.

"Not just a village? But then…that could only mean…" The other boy struggled to fish out the right words. How much destruction and death had Fai exactly witnessed?

"It doesn't matter right now." Smiling softly, Fai didn't think he could talk about his home. He was just glad Kurogane hadn't seen him when he had first arrived in Nihon.

"If you say so," Kurogane shrugged. He knew it was, in the end, none of his business what had happened in Fai's past or had the right to press for more information. He just hoped that someday that Fai would be able to find some inner peace.

"Kuro-san shouldn't be sad for me. Both of us have seen awful things, but yours is still fresh in your mind." Fai smiled. Kurogane would probably have nightmares for a while from them, but with enough time they would pass.

"Oh really? I can't help but feel that you're still holding in pain behind those smiles," Kurogane said bitterly. He didn't mean to act so vindictive, but at the same time he was far from feeling his usual self. Really, it was getting bothersome that Fai was smiling far too much for his own comfort?

"Kuro-tan~, we should go to the stream tomorrow. You will have to teach me to catch fish." Fai pouted, not wanting to talk about his own past right now. Those memories were still new to him even after three years.

The young lord gave an exasperated sigh. Although they both needed something to get their minds off of terrible events, he hated how Fai was having a hard time coping. It unsettled him. "Fine, we'll go," he promised the blonde.

A/N: As hinted by the last segment, the horrors 14 year-old Kurogane had just faced will quite shape his character over the next installments. However, one could say it isn't as severe as losing your entire family, your entire homeland...but all the same, to witness deaths is still traumatic.