Thanks so much for all the positive reviews. I did want people to be able to understand both Brooke and Lucas' feelings and actions and not condemn either of them.
Also one of my favourite parts of this story has to be that with Keith being in Charlotte he is obviously still alive.
She'd been waiting for him to show up, for not only a chance to begin to explain things to him but also to try her best to make sure that he blamed only her for everything. She hated that she'd caused such rifts between Karen and her son and Haley and her best friend. Now Lucas was here though she was terrified. The thought of opening herself up to Lucas Scott of all people was possibly the most horrifying thing she could think of happening right now. She'd tried to make light of the fact that he'd been stood on the doorstep for so long without knocking, but deep down she was scared that he was so angry with her still that he couldn't stand even talking to her.
"Brooke we need to talk." He sounded so contained and in control while she thought she was verging on physically shaking. His words from almost a week ago still resounded in her head. I can barely stand the sight of you Brooke Davis – you can burn in hell for all I care. Despite everything hearing him say that had hurt her deeply. Yet one more thing she'd never admit to a soul.
"Come on in." The second the words left her mouth she regretted them. She had a nerve really, inviting him into HIS childhood home, HIS mother's house. She watched him closely as he came inside, for the first time she looked at the place that she called home through his eyes. She'd always thought that Karen's house hadn't changed at all since she'd moved in 5 years ago, except for Lucas' room. But she suddenly noticed how she and Lauren had taken over the place. "Your pictures are in your mom's room." She didn't know why she'd told him that. It hadn't been a conscious attempt to push Lucas out, but as Lauren got older and there were more and more pictures of her on display Lucas' childhood pictures had just ebbed away into Karen's room until there was just one or two in the main house. Lucas didn't respond and she kicked herself for even mentioning it. Truth was she was more nervous than she'd ever been in her entire life.
"Does Lauren know who I am?" Brooke sighed and sunk into the lounger. Lucas remained standing though which made things more awkward and tense.
"She knows that you're Karen's son. She knows that you don't live here, I told her that was because Keith was alone in Charlotte and lonely so you went to live with him, but Karen had us so it was okay that you left." Lucas snorted. It was a harsh, bitter sound and Brooke's insides shrivelled.
"What have you told her about her father?" Brooke licked her lips.
"Nothing, not a single word." She watched as Lucas rubbed his hands over his face.
"How the hell could you not have told me?"
"Lucas I did tell you." He laughed at her then.
"You told me you were pregnant, it wasn't mine and then you told me it was all a lie."
"I know, when I said it to you it was because you were pushing me. I didn't plan on telling you until I was certain and I knew what I was doing. But then when I saw the look on your face saying it wasn't your baby made sense. Plus you had just called me a slut. I was never with anyone else." Brooke knew that tiny detail didn't matter now but for some reason she wanted him to know all the same. "Then when I did find out I was scared and I wanted to pretend it wasn't happening. So that's what I did. By the time I was forced into facing facts you'd gone to Charlotte. That's when I went to your mom."
"You could have called and I would come straight back here." She nodded, she'd known he would have. That was part of the problem.
"Luke I was a scared, knocked up kid. My parents had disowned me and I had nothing. My whole world had fallen down around me in weeks. My parents were never great but losing them completely, along with my oldest and best friend and the only guy I ever cared about. I was such a mess. I just needed to figure things out by myself before you knew. Your mom got that which is why she said she'd keep quiet for a while."
"Yeah and then when she'd had enough you blackmailed her by threatening to take Lauren away if she told me. That's about a year after blackmailing Peyton to keep quiet too. Congrats Brooke stunning." The contempt in his voice made her question herself for a moment. Then she dragged herself back together and stood up, letting herself become angry too.
"You have no right to judge that. Your mom knew deep down I never meant a word of it. I could never have taken Lauren away from her, not after she'd lost you. Besides your mom had become the parent I needed. And Peyton, let's not go down that road. Because between the three of us what's fair and right and, and, and just. That got screwed up way before I did what I did. I don't regret what I said to Peyton, in some ways it was a good thing. Needing her on my side made me try and be her friend again and for that I'm glad. If I hadn't I might just be sat here thinking we could have made it right. But we couldn't."
"Maybe your friendship wasn't as strong as you'd made out then." His words were sneered at her. She resisted the urge to slap him.
"Our friendship was EVERYTHING to me. And you two destroyed it all. The stupid thing is if she'd have once told me she wanted you I wouldn't have gone after you. If either of you had had the courage and decency to tell me how you both felt then maybe just maybe we'd have salvaged something from the whole mess." Brooke hadn't wanted to get sucked into a discussion about what had happened in their high school love triangle. While their betrayal perhaps had coloured her view when considering telling Lucas about being pregnant or not it hadn't been the entire reason.
"So emotional blackmail aside then, were you ever going to tell me?" Yes she was going to tell him. There had been many times when she'd considered doing it. But she'd always been so afraid of his reaction. As the time had gone on she'd become more scared. So she'd eventually made a decision about when would be the right time.
"I was, I decided that when Lauren asked me I'd tell her everything and I'd tell you too." It was the truth, she'd dreaded the day Lauren asked questions about her father but it hadn't happened. "I thought that once she got to school and other kids talked about their fathers she'd ask but she hasn't." Lucas shook his head.
"Look around you Brooke, are you surprised? Where are all the fathers in everyone's lives? Has she ever witnessed any of you spending time with a father? You obviously never see your dad, Nathan has as little to do with Dan as possible. Both Haley's are god knows where. What do you expect from her? She probably thinks the kids from school have strange lives, not that any of us do." Lucas was right Brooke mused. Lauren had grown up with Nathan being the only male she really had in her life. There was little wonder she'd not been curious.
"She would have asked eventually."
"When Brooke? How long you going to wait for her?" Brooke had no idea. "I just don't understand how you could do this to me." Brooke hung her head for a second before flinging it back and staring him straight in the eyes.
"To you? I did it for you. The fear I saw when I told you was real. Lucas you had so many dreams and I didn't want to ruin those. Being a teenage parent wasn't a plan for me, but I had the final choice. It was a tough situation to be in but ultimately to keep the baby or not keep the baby was my choice. And I chose to be a 17 year old mom. It didn't seem fair to ask you to be a 17 year old father."
"I wouldn't have been Dan, I would have taken my responsibility seriously." Brooke knew he would have, she wasn't afraid of Lucas being like his father – she'd been more afraid of him being like Nathan's.
"I didn't want you to lose your dreams Lucas and become bitter. I refused to raise a child like Nathan had been raised. By two parents who hated each other and blamed each other for the wreckage that was their lives."
"It wouldn't have been like that."
"So you wouldn't have made the suggestion that we be a family?" Brooke challenged him knowing that his answer would most certainly be in line with her opinion of him.
"Yeah ok so maybe I would have done that, but Brooke you despised me after Peyton you wouldn't have said yes. Maybe then we would have been two people who raised a child – apart." Brooke refused to comment, she refused to let Lucas see her.
"And then what? Eventually you and Peyton would have hooked up and I'd be left stuck home with OUR child while you lived the teenage life with her." Brooke was unable to stop the venom in her voice. She knew that in order to protect her inner self from Lucas she had effectively let him think she was a bitter, twisted, vengeful person.
"Once again we're back to Peyton. Why not just admit it Brooke? This was all out of spite. This was your revenge cos I cheated on you." Brooke wouldn't tell Lucas the truth, nor would she agree with what Lucas believed was the reason behind her keeping Lauren a secret. Lucas was yelling now with his face twisted in anger. She supposed she'd known things would turn out this way between them but had still held out the faint hope that they wouldn't.
"I'm sorry I kept her existence a secret from you for so long." She said it to defuse the charged atmosphere. But she wasn't lying when she said it either. She knew Lucas would take what she'd said as her admitting that revenge had been her motivation, for now though she had to leave it be. She really only wanted to salvage everyone else's relationships with Lucas, and if he wanted, for one to be established between him and her daughter.
"Sorry doesn't make it better."
"I know. Lucas I know you don't believe I planned on telling you, but please believe this I never meant to hurt the relationships you had with your mom and Haley. You mean the world to them both and that never changed for a second. I know you need to hate me but please don't hate them."
"I want Lauren to know me." Brooke nodded. She hadn't expected any less.
"I won't stop that Lucas, but it's important for you to realise that I won't just let you take her. I thought that maybe 2 afternoons a week you can collect her from school and one afternoon on weekend you can take her out. Obviously from that you know I'm looking at long term as school's just finished. I thought that during summer vacation what would be a good idea is introducing you to her slowly. Maybe coming by for dinner, nights when I'm working." Brooke knew neither would be able to be around one another, and any atmosphere Lauren sensed would certainly make forging a bond harder for Lucas.
"That sounds good. But I'm not sure I can face so long with just dinner once or twice a week."
"No I didn't mean that, just maybe a week or two, then progress to having her once a week, building it up before school starts."
"Ok then."
"Lucas there's one more thing. Like I said I won't just you let you take her, initially either your mom or Haley, people Lauren is very comfortable with, will go out with you."
"Brooke I can look after her myself. I don't need supervising."
"I thinking of Lauren, I don't want to fight again about the reasons for it but you're a stranger to her. Please Lucas think how daunting it would be for her. It's not like it's forever." Brooke expected more of a fight from Lucas so was surprised when he nodded. She knew it would be a long time before she and Lucas came face to face again.
I just wanted to say there isn't going to be that much interaction with Lauren. The story is more about the adult relationships, Lauren is the catalyst rather than the story.