Nothing is Right When You're Pretend

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Glee or any of it characters.
I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine.

Chapter 4

Mr. Shue walked over and rubbed her shoulder. "That was amazing Rachel." He looked to the group. "Ok gang we have a solo."

They all clapped and Santana moved forward. "It will be sang just like that, but with Rachel at a microphone and not the piano. We will also be bringing all the girls into it for the last chorus."

Mercedes gave her a dirty look. "This is Rachel's song. Why are you dictating to everyone how it's going to go?"

Rachel sighed and pressed her face into Santana's back still trying to regain her full composure. Santana shook her head. "We need to get this shit started and she needed a minute. Jeez get over it."

Mercedes huffed, but said no more. Santana started handing out the music to the other girls while Rachel handed out sheets to the band. Kurt looked over Mercedes music then looked to Santana suddenly. "I get it, you're only sucking up to Rachel so you can have a spotlight in this number. Well played Satan."

Santana rolled her eyes trying to reign in her temper. "I don't have a spotlight in this number. Brittany will be singing backup with Tina instead of me because we thought their voices would mesh better. Stop talking until you actually know what you're talking about Liberace."

Mr. Shue held up a hand. "Ok guys that's enough. We have too much to do."

They all dropped it and Santana went to her bag and pulled out another folder, handed a CD to Mr. Shue and started handing out music to the group.

Quinn sat quietly through all of it reading the lyrics on the sheet over and over, thinking about their fight yesterday. She couldn't have been singing about me could she, she contemplated thinking about what she had said to Rachel about never getting it right. This was just too much. She had to have written this for Finn. She couldn't afford to hope that is was for her. She couldn't be with Rachel, it just wasn't possible, it would never happen.

But god did she want it to. She wanted the other girl with all her heart, but she could never take that chance. Even if Rachel felt the same. She would lose her home and her mother again. She couldn't stand the thought of being so lost and desperate again. The first time almost destroyed her and she would never let it happen again. She had a plan, she would just stay with Finn and stick to the plan no matter how wonderful the song was, whether it was for her or not. She just couldn't do it.

While Santana was busy handing out music Finn decided to speak to Rachel. He just knew that her song was for him. Walking up to her, he smile. "Hey Rach? I really liked your song."

Rachel looked up startled. She hadn't even thought of him approaching her while she was busy with the band. "Thank you Finn."

She turned back to talk to Deryk again and Finn touched her arm causing her to finch and move away. He frowned slightly at her reaction. "I just wanted to know if we could talk after Glee."

Rachel shook her head. "I really don't have time Finn. I have plans tonight." She lied hoping to get him to back off.

Finn's frown grew. "What like a date or something?"

Rachel saw the anger grow in his eyes. "No, I just have plans. Besides, it shouldn't matter to you what I do. You have a girlfriend and it's not me."

Finn took a step toward her. "Who told you I have a girlfriend? Why would you think that?"

Rachel looked at him incredulously taking a step back. "I overheard you and Quinn talking about it. It's none of my business what you do. I was just making a comment as to how my plans shouldn't concern you. Now, I really need to finish my talk with the band about my song. I have no need to have a talk with you outside of Glee related topics."

His anger grew and he stepped forward again, but Rachel was pulled away from him before he could get too close. "Excuse me." Santana threw over her shoulder then looked back to Rachel. "Hey Tiny, when we get to my crib after practice are we ordering pizza again or Chinese? I can't decide what I want to eat."

Rachel spared a glance over Santana's shoulder then looked at her with a relieved smile. "Um, Chinese is most agreeable. We had pizza last night."

Santana shrugged her shoulders . "Good, that settles that then. Now finish up with Rick, Mr. Shue wants us to move to the auditorium and start on our choreography for the group number. Britt and Mike finished it and are ready to teach us."

Rachel smile. "Ok, it shouldn't be but a few minutes more. Can you help me explain this drum part better?"

Santana took the paper from her hands looking it over. "Sure." They moved back over to the band and started talking to Rick again.

Finn had watched the exchange like a tennis match and threw his hands up in frustration when they walked away without even acknowledging him.

Quinn watched the exchange with curious eyes. She couldn't hear what was said, but Rachel's discomfort was obvious. She really didn't want to talk to him and Quinn really didn't want to examine why that made her feel the way it did. After he stormed off she turned her head back to the music in her hand.

Rachel watched him storm away out of the corner of her eye and visibly relaxed. "Thank you Santana."

Santana just bumped her shoulder. "De nada."

They finished talking to the band and then the group moved on to the auditorium. After an hour and a half of practicing the choreography, Mr. Shue called it a night and sent them home. He told them to all meet back here during free period to practice some more tomorrow. They only had three more days to practice for Regionals on Saturday and they all readily agreed.

While they were getting things packed up to leave Brittany came up to them and looked at Santana hesitantly. "Can we talk San?"

Santana took a ragged breath. "I don't really think…"

Rachel touched her shoulder lightly cutting her off then leaned in and whispered in her ear. "At least see what she has to say. I'll wait right here for you."

Santana nodded and sighed looking back to Britt. "Sure Britt, but I don't want to leave the auditorium. We can talk in the back so no one will hear us."

Rachel moved over to talk to Tina and they moved to the back of the auditorium. When they came to a stop Santana turned to her. "What do you want?"

Brittany sighed. "I miss talking to you San."

Santana scoffed. "That's not my fault. You're the one who turned me away Britt."

Brittany looked down sad. "I know." She paused then looked back up. "Are you with Rachie now?"

Santana sighed, looking back up to the stage where Rachel was now playing the piano waiting for her. "Not that it's any of your business, but no. We're just friends. She's kind of cool to hang out with."

"Do you think we'll be friends that hang out again San?" She was fighting tears and it killed Santana.

"I don't know B. Maybe, but not right now. I just can't, I'm sorry."

Britt nodded sadly and kissed her cheek. "Ok San," and she walked out the doors behind them.

Santana watched her go, tears finally falling down her face. She just stood there looking at the door for a long time until she felt an arm circle her waist from behind.

Rachel squeezed slightly. "Not good?"

Santana sighed and leaned into her warmth. "Not really. She wanted to know if you and I were together. Told me she missed me and wanted know if we could be friends that hang out again. I told her you and I were just friends and I couldn't be friends and hang out with her right now. Maybe I should, I don't know."

Rachel rubbed soothing circles on her arms. "Maybe you need to let her miss you for a while. Let her figure out exactly what she wants from you."

Santana thought about it for a moment. "Yea, you might be right. Thanks Tiny."

Rachel knew she was thanking her for more than what she had just advised and squeezed her tightly. "Anytime Santana."

They stayed in the embrace for a little longer then Rachel squeezed her one more time backing up knowing they needed to go. "Can you give me a ride home? We finished late and it'll be dark before I can make it home."

Santana turned to her. "I thought we were having Chinese at mine?"

"I thought you just said that to get Finn to leave me alone."

Santana shrugged. "Well yea, but I still want to take you to my house and have Chinese food. We can eat, watch TV and just chill."

Rachel smiled. "Sounds good to me, let's go."

They grabbed their things and head to the car. When they got to Santana's they ordered their food and worked on homework until it came. They ate, finished their work then settle on the couch with a movie. Santana laid her head in Rachel's lap needing the contact after talking to Brittany.

Rachel ran her fingers through the other girl's hair absentmindedly while engrossed in the movie. Santana had been clingy since she spoke with Britt and Rachel didn't mind. She would be here for her friend. She was enjoying getting to know her better and really didn't like seeing her upset. Watching her cry and stare at that door earlier broke her heart and she wanted nothing more than to hold her friend until she didn't hurt anymore.

Santana lay looking at the TV not seeing what was on the screen. She was thankful that Rachel didn't talk and was just there. The fingers in her hair soothed her and she was glad that she had let the other girl in and wasn't alone. They had been real friends for less than two days but she felt like they always had been. She sighed content to just be with her new friend.

Rachel looked down as the credits rolled to find Santana fast asleep. She hated to wake her but knew she had to. She ran her hand through Santana's hair with a little more pressure and scratched lightly. "Santana. Santana, I need you to get up."

Groaning, she turned over and buried her face in Rachel's side. "No, sleeping." Came the muffled reply.

Rachel chuckled, scratching her scalp lightly again. "Come on Santana. I need to get home, it's late."

She huffed and rolled to her back. "You can stay here tonight if you want. We can run to your house in the morning to get ready like I did today."

Rachel thought for a moment and smiled. "Ok, I'd like that. I've never slept over at someone else's house before."

Santana sat up and looked shocked. "Are you serious?"

Looking down sadly she sighed. "Yes. I've never been to a sleepover and you're the first person that's ever slept over at my house."

Santana still stares shocked for a moment thinking about this. As she thinks she is upset for her friend that they all treated her so awful. "You know what. We should get all the glee girls and have a sleep over this weekend after Regionals. What do you think?"

Rachel thinks for a moment. "If we have it here, they should all come. I'd offer to have it at my house, but they probably wouldn't show up."

Santana frowned for a moment. "I really think they would still come but I have no problem with having it here. I'll text my mami and make sure it's ok. I'm allowed to have one or two people over without asking but I need to ask about having six. It's not going to be an issue she should say yes."

Rachel smiled brightly. "That sounds good. What will we do?"

Santana shrugged. "Whatever you want. We can play games or we have karaoke in the basement TV room, or whatever. When Quinn and Britt stay over we just watch TV, paint our nails and bitch about life."

Rachel chuckled. "I'm ok with whatever everyone else wants to do. Oh can we play the karaoke challenge?"

"What's that?"
"I used to play it with my dads. You take a bunch of off the wall songs and put them in a hat then someone draws a song and the singer has to sing it." She claps and bounces in place.

Santana chuckles at her excitement. "That actually sounds like fun. We can do that."

Santana stands and pulls her upstairs still talking about different things they could do. Once in the room, Santana hands her some sweats and a tank top to sleep in and a new toothbrush telling her to just leave it in the bathroom in the holder for when she's over. Rachel smiles and heads off to change.

Once she changes, she brushes her teeth and sees three other toothbrushes in the holder all different colors than hers. As she puts it in this the others tears come to her eyes seeing it with the others. Just that small bit of inclusion meant more to her then she knew how to express as her tears fall. Lost in her head she didn't hear the knock on the door

When Santana had knocked, she got concerned when there was no answer so she stuck her head in. "Hey ,you ok Tiny?"

Rachel had her back to her and just nodded. Santana looked into the mirror and saw her tears and rushed to her pulling her into her arms. "What's wrong Estrella? What happened?"

Rachel just shook her head trying to calm. "I… and you…" She was pointing towards the sink, but couldn't get any more out and just buried her head in Santana's chest.

Santana held her tightly letting her calm, confused as to what caused this. After a few minutes she calmed and stepped out of her arms wiping her face a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I'm ok."

Santana wiped a tear away. "Want to tell me what that was about?"

Rachel shook her head. "No, it's silly. I'm sorry I did that."

Cupping her chin Santana looked into her eyes. "It's not silly if it makes you cry tiny. Tell me."

Rachel sighed. "It was the toothbrush."

Confused she pushed for more. "What was the toothbrush?"

"I just never had a friend like you before that would include me enough to have a toothbrush at their house. I saw it sitting there with what I assume is yours, Brittany's and Quinn's and it just hit me that I was included in your circle and I've never had that before. All of the friends I have ever had barely tolerate me and we only converse at school or my classes."

She takes a breath and shakes her head. "I know it's silly, but it made me feel wanted." She finished quietly.

Santana pulls her back into her arms. "You are wanted and always will be with me Tiny."

Rachel sighs into the embrace and just holds on. "Thank you Santana."

Pulling back, she looks into Rachel's eyes. "Just so you know, you make me feel that way too. Since we started sophomore year I have felt that my friends love for me was conditional and sporadic at best. With you, I feel like I can just be me and you'll still be here."

Rachel grabbed her hand and gently squeezed it. "I will be."

Santana smiled and hugged her again quickly then pulled back. "Ok, enough mushy garbage. Let's get some sleep tiny."

Rachel chuckled and nodded and they headed off to bed.

A/N: