WHAT NOT TO WRITE cont. cont. cont.

Ok, I told myself I was going to let things go, and that it was none of my business what other people wrote. I made myself promise that I wouldn't update this story again…….I lied. I just couldn't help myself, especially when I started writing under a new name, and under different books.

For the most part, everything still stands. My help is here, take it or leave it. It may be a little outdated, (I forgot about this for a while, then said I wouldn't update, blah blah blah.) but I swear that it's legit. Plus, I'm adding more!

New Feature!

~The following are plot-lines from Harry Potter that really don't capture that much interest anymore. I know you've always been itching to write one, (especially if you are like me and write Twilight, Harry Potter, and any crappy fanfiction I can dream up) but STOP IT.

1. Hermione needs to stop going back in time. It was a brilliant idea, it really was, but enough is enough. Any character really, if they are going back in time to meet up with the Marauders, it's as old as my grandmother.

2. The characters need to stop reading the books, finding the books, etc. Yes, their reactions would be hilarious. ONCE. This rule applies to almost all fanfiction. It would be like Harry and Hermione being seen when they go back in time in POA, it just wouldn't happen.

3. I don't know about you, but I hate the stories about 'the next generation' of kids at Hogwarts and their cutsey little adventures. We barely learned anything about them, and now people are making up all of these crazy personas for them. If I ever read a good one that just doesn't go on and on with dumb little challenges, I will eat my socks. Until then, try to be more original!

4. Don't yell at me when I say this: some of the crazier pairings in Harry Potter fanfiction are starting to scare me. I mean, Teddy/Harry? Really? That, incase you aren't aware, is technically incest, because Harry is technically a relative. I've seen the normal ones, (Dramione, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Sirius/Remus) but some are really out of control. Like Harry/Greyback for example. I'm all for stretching boundaries, but how the HELL would this EVER happen? Be realistic with your pairings, please. For me.

~Twilighters, I haven't forgotten about you. I posted this under Twilight after all. So, here are a few more modern pointers for you all. If you've read this far, it's a shocker, but I had to rant about HP too.

I hate to sound like a broken record, but if Bella really had a baby everytime I saw a fanfiction about her being left preggo in New Moon, she'd be popping them out like an amphibian; 2,000 eggs at a time. Resist the urge to write something blah! Be interesting, unique and most of all-easy to understand.

Again, everyone has a right to the music that they love, but I don't really care to read stories about characters singing their songs in some 'cool shit band' or them becoming obsessed with them. Remember, at least the Cullens have some class. They have been around for what, 200 years? What are the realistic chances?

Really Important Tips. Seriously. Read These:

There are two different kinds of realistic-ness I'm looking for in good fanfiction. One is normal realistic boundaries that fit with every story and is just common sense. You can't randomly have a pink hippo fly into a scene with Bella and the Cullens, so why should they do something terribly and extremely OC unless stated in the stories summary? That is annoying, stop it. The other kind is the realism of the plot line. I'm all for abstract and new ideas, but sometimes we take things too far. Think about it. Would Harry really fall in love with I don't know…(random matchmaking) ahaha! Would Harry really fall in love with Voldemort? J.K. Rowling only stresses to no end that they are mortal enemies. Some alternate universes are too alternate.

When proofreading a story, (which you better do or you story will suck, especially if you make a REALLY big mistake) actually think about what is happening, and what you picture in your head. Any detail is important, because I can't read your mind when I read a story. Make sure everything you visualize in your head makes it onto the computer, paper, or what ever you are writing on. Make sure your series of events eventually makes sense to the reader. Tell someone what happens in a chapter, then have them read it. If they are confused, you need to add more details to a story.

Finally, I suggest that you write out at least half of your story before you post it. If you are rushing to update for your fans, you will make more mistakes. You'll get harried and things will go wrong. Don't let it happen to you, proofread and take your time. As boring as it is, reading a story thirty times over, it's worth it.

Well, I think this rant is officially over…for now.

I might be back again, don't get too comfortable, and save some of those dirty words you were calling me in your head. You might need them again.

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