The ending on this is weird...I don't know what I was thinking but here...
She read the article over and over. She read as he bragged about his surgical career. She read as the author talked about the infamous award. She read how much better his life has been since she's been out of his life. She was angry, sad, and happy all at the same time. They had the conversation many times, they had the same dream: win a Harper Avery award. And he did it.
She walked the halls to the ambulance bay where Dr. Hahn was waiting for her. "Well I guess it's no surprise, his arrogance is legendary... oh well, I thought we finally had some common ground... Good for you, refusing to trash him. Rising above. It's very impressive. I'm going to follow your example, Yang." Hahn said. Cristina glanced up at her then back ahead, saying nothing. "Congratulations Preston, I wish you well. "
Cristina took a deep breath then sighed. She wasn't in the mood for this today.
As the day went on, all of the hospital employees received relationship forms. When George gave Cristina hers, she read through it. Then left the tunnels. Is this some kind of fucking joke? Today is not the day.
She joined Dr. Hahn in surgery, she watched and got to suction every once in a while. She was annoyed and pissed and just wanted to go home. The baby was making her crave Thai food. As she made her way to the residents lounge, she received a page from Dr. Webber to meet him in the conference room. What the hell! She dragged her feet as she made her way to the conference room. When she arrived, Dr. Webber and his wife were sitting at the conference room table waiting for her.
"Going through all the forms, I noticed you did not hand yours in." Richard said blatantly.
"No sir." Cristina whispered
"I need you to. The hospital is still liable even though Dr. Burke isn't here…"
Cristina looked from Richard to Adele. She sighed and filled out the form accordingly.
"There, my sexual relationship with Dr. Burke. On paper. Satisfied?
"I know this might be difficult for you and I apologize Dr. Y-"
"It is not difficult sir... it is simple. Burke is not here. He's gone and he's the better for it. He's winning the Harper Avery award and being celebrated all over the world. That is not difficult. He's out there and I'm here where everything is the same. I still live in his apartment, I walk the same halls of this hospital, I wear the same scrubs. It is not difficult. This is where I chose to be. But sir, when his hand was shaking, I performed the surgeries, I kept his secrets, I nursed his pride... you know it and I know it, he knows it. He knows it and yet nowhere in that newspaper article does my name appear. I am the unseen hand to his brilliance. And yet while everything is the same it is very, very different. Now I'm lucky if I get to hold a clamp. Hahn treats me like... I was his hand and now I'm a ghost. That is not difficult... it's unbearable. Everybody is proud of him... but I'm not... I do not wish him well. I haven't spoken to him in four months. He can celebrate his award and success but here I am, in the shadows, pregnant."
The room was silent. Richard and Adele looked at Cristina sympathetically. Nobody knew. She wanted it that way. Stupid hormones.
"Cristina, how long have you known?" Adele asked.
"A couple of months." She whispered
"Who all knows?""Richard asked.
"Meredith, Dr. Bailey, and Addison Montgomery all know sir."
He nodded and looked at his wife then back to Cristina. "Have you tried to contact him?"
"I've called, his number is not in service, his mother doesn't answer my calls anymore, he doesn't reply to my emails…"
"I will get a hold of him. He will come out he-"
"No! It's fine, I don't want him to come and I don't want his help. If he cared….if he cared…"
"Cristina…"
"I've got all the people I need."
"He should be here Cristina." Adele insisted.
"I don't want him here."
The next day:
Cristina sat in the residence lounge trying to relax. Her morning sickness was at an all-time high. Her interns were concerned but she didn't care. She was in a mood. She didn't have any surgeries, what was a girl to do. Meredith was busy in a crisis of her own, Callie was severely confused about her life, and whenever she passed Dr. Webber, he looked at her with sad eyes.
"Are you okay?"Lexie asked as she barged into the residence lounge.
"Don't ask me if I'm okay." Cristina barked.
"Okay…."
"Ugh, you make me sick. Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here, and don't give a damn what anyone thinks. There are no teams here, no buddies. You're on your own. Be on your own."
Lexie looked at her and walked out of the lounge. Ugh!