Lookie what I can do! Haha, I just figured out how to make an authors note :/ Jeez I'm dumb. Anyways I just wanted to say thank you to all of you that like my story! I'm an amateur, so my stories may suck :/. But I got to be positive!

Anyways, this chapter just focuses on... well what happens.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI... Even if I wish I did :/ Sadness.

This was impossible. He couldn't have my phone, he didn't know where it was. No one did, I just put it in my bag. That's where it was, and I know it. I didn't have it anywhere, where he could see it. He must have stolen it. What is with people stealing my things? I didn't even get my lunch money back. But like I said before, I really didn't care about that at all.

While these thoughts were going through my head, I was sitting in the front seat of my mother's car. It smelled like vanilla. I love vanilla. Suddenly, I just realized how awkward this was. My mother, being mad at me, Eli having my phone, Dana talking about bra's that make her boobs like good... It's all weird.

" You never answered my question from before, why did you bring your phone to school?" My mother asked. There's a reason I didn't answer. I'm like any other kid that gets in trouble, we don't want to get in even more trouble, so we don't answer any of their questions.

"I don't know. I just though.. Ugh, what if I was lost, or it suddenly started snowing on my way home? I could be able to call you or dad!" I tried convincing her.

"That's ridiculous, you couldn't come up with a better excuse than that? You're smarter than that!" She said. Oh my, this is why I don't like her! She does this to me all the time, I can't do anything right can I?

"Mom, why do I bring it then? Can you tell me? Because I obviously don't, and will never have an answer that you might be happy with!" She seriously needed to tell me, because obviously nothing I tell her, will make her happy.

"Don't bring it to school again, let's just leave it at that. As a punishment, you can go up to this Eli person's house, and ask for your phone back." She stated.

"That's what I was planning to do." I said this, even though I was just thinking that my mom was going to do it for me, but I don't like letting my mom take control of me.

"Good. Now this is his house, go up and ask." I realized that we must have been driving to his house. It looked very foreign to me, although, this is Canada, not where I'm from, so everything is foreign.

"Whatever." I said, opening up the door, and getting out. I didn't bother closing it, because if I don't, that will show Eli that I'm in a rush, and I don't have time for anything but to get my phone back.

I walked up the sidewalk, and to his front door. Hopefully this is his house, sometimes my mother can get mixed up with directions. Well, no, she's usually right, but hopefully she was wrong anyways.

I knocked on the door. I was kind of nervous, although I really shouldn't be, he's the one that stole my phone. I should be filled with confidence. I straightened up my back, and knocked on the door a little louder this time. There was still no reply. I decided that this wasn't his house, or maybe he wasn't home. I started to walk away, but suddenly the door opened, and someone said "Hello?"

I spun around, and I saw a man, with curly hair, a bit on the heavier side, and a voice that croaked like a frog. I walked forward and asked, "Is this Eli's house?"

How awkward is that, asking if it was his house. I'm just an awkward mess today. The man smiled, and then screamed up the stairway, "Eli, a cutie is waiting at the door for you!" My face immediately flushed. How embarrassing.

"What the hell are you talking about bullfrog?" Someone from upstairs yelled down.

"Just come downstairs, she's waiting." The man looked at me, and smiled, then walked away. I heard some clanking of footsteps coming down the stairs. Then a Eli appeared in the doorway.

"Oh hey, it's you. What are you doing here?" Eli said with a smirk. I wasn't up for games at the moment.

"Where's my phone?" I asked sternly.

"What are you talking about? I don't have your phone." He was still smirking. That could get annoying very fast.

"Just give it to me, I don't have time." I then gestured to my car door, and what looked like my very annoyed mother.

"You mean this one?" He pulled my phone out of his pocket. I was so relieved when I saw it.

"Yes that one, now I really need it, so please give it to me." I said, and reached my hand out.

"No, not yet dollface, I don't know if this is your phone. Heck, I don't even know you're name." He said. How could he not know what my name is? He has my phone! That's another thing that I have to ask him, how he got it.

"How in the world did you get my phone? It was in my book bag!" He was STILL smirking. I'm about the slap that smirk right off of him...

"No, it was actually laying on the floor. And since it was right next to you, I just thought it would be yours. He can't be right, I remember putting it in my book bag.

"No, it was in my bag, I know it was. I put it in there.." Or at least I think I did. If I didn't, then what did I do?

"No you didn't. You can have your phone back, you just need to tell me your name." Wow, this dude is getting on my nerves. He really shouldn't be all that interested in my name, therefor I won't be telling him. I hurried up, and snatched the phone out of his hands. Then I walked nonchalantly down the sidewalk, and made it to my car.

When I sat down in the seat, I closed the door, and looked ahead. My mom then started up the car, and drove off. "What was taking you so long? And why was he smirking so much? Where you flirting with him?" My mother has officially became the most annoying person ever.

"No I wasn't flirting with him! He wouldn't give me the phone unless if I told him my name! So eventually I just had to take it from him!" I said, I was getting quite irritated with her.

"Don't get so much attitude with me! I would expect this from Dana, but not from you!" Oh God, aren't I supposed to be the one Dana is compared to?

He thinks o; give

"Mom, don't compare me to Dana! I'm older than her! I set examples, and you just yell at me for it! Cleaning: Yelled at. Doing homework: Yelled at. Dancing: Yelled at! It never stops does it?" Now I was furious with her.

"That has nothing to do with your attitude. I don't yell at you for those things. You need to take your pill, that way you won't be so moody all the time!" That's it.

"I'm not the one that's moody! You are, you and your stupid "change of life" bullcrap. Mom, you're 47! Get over it! I'm told to take a pill all the time, why don't you? It's called Xanex! It'll help! And don't ever compare me to Dana! You make me so mad! Go get a job at Lowes or something! That way I can ignore two things that I hate! That's right! I hate you!" I stopped, and looked at her face.

Oh no, I took this too far. I should have never said I hate her. I have never told her that. I started apologizing, "Mom, I'm-" She cut me off.

"Get out of my car. I'll call your father to pick you up." She then reached across me, and opened up the door. "Out." She was so stern, it was scaring me.

"Mom, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it!" I tried to tell her. I really didn't, but with all of that rage, I just had to say something.

"I don't care. Out." That was the deal breaker. She hated me. She always taught me, that I don't care, are the most foul words anyone could ever say. She said that she has never really said it to anyone. Except for me.

"What? Please no! I'm sorry, I'll take my pill, and I'll be good, and treat Dana good, and I won't clean! Please just take that back!" I was pleading, and in tears.

"Get out." She pushed me out, and shut the door. I stared at her in complete disbelief. She drove away. Leaving her own daughter out in Canada, a foreign place in which neither her or I have been before. I don't know where I'm going, I don't know where I'm at, and she left me here. I felt a few tears well up in the corner of my eyes.

"No, you don't deserve to cry. It's all right, it's all right." I was trying to calm myself down. Reassuring myself that I'll be alright. This is what I usually do when I start to cry. It's a technique that I learned from Lacey.

But even with all of this reassurance, the tears spilled out. I sat on the curb, where she had left me, brought my knees up to my chest, and cried. Out in public, where anyone could see, where I had no idea where I was, or if I could ever get home.

I sat, and cried, waiting for my father to get there, if he does. Those thoughts are always running through my head. Will he? Will my mother ever call him? Will she get in a carwreck? Will the last words that she ever remembers me saying is I hate you? Will she hate me? Will my dad hate me?

I started to hyperventilate, I need to stop these thoughts. I twirled a piece of my hair around my finger, and pulled down hard. I proceeded to do that, until I had a raging headache. Now I was sitting on a sidewalk, like a mess, pulling my hair. How stable am I?

My life is a train wreck. My mom hates me, my dad is never going to come, I'm crying and pulling my hair in public, and even I hate myself. These are the times that I wish I never existed. That I was never born. I have so many stupid problems, it's unreal. Pulling my hair is one of them, and then OCD, burning myself, and everything else. I'm a failure.

I started to cry even more, making my head hurt worse and worse. I couldn't see anything, my eyes were so blurry, and my head was banging, and I was helpless in the middle of nowhere. Well at least it was no where to me, my mom obviously knew where she was driving through. Maybe she did know where she was going.

I got up, and started walking. Like a crazy person, crying, and just walking. Nonchalantly walking. Slowly, but surely walking. Why was I doing this? I'm so dramatic, and sometimes I can't even help it. It's like someone in the movies, walking slowly, and thinking. I make myself feel like that sometimes, but then I realize that I'm just so silly, and that if it's in a movie, it's probably not in real life.

So instead, I started to walk faster. And then more thoughts and memories came to my mind. Some where even about him. All I could remember was the first night. The first night, that changed it all. It made me feel so aroused, yet scared. Scared is eventually the feeling that took over.

Flashback

"That has to be the cutest picture of you!" I laughed pointing at a picture of him in a snow man costume.

"I was the cutest baby you know." He smiled, looking down at me. I could see the different shades of blue in his eyes.

"Your eyes are just so pretty." I said, in a 'breathtaking' voice, as I used to call it.

"But yours are the best." He started to move his hand up my shirt. I wanted this so bad, but I didn't want it now. It was snaking up farther and farther.

I started to get scared, so I got up from the couch that we were sitting on, quickly.

"I.. Uh just want to look out of the window for a second." I said, my voice kind of shaky. Why was I acting like this?

As if he read my mind, he asked "Why are you acting like this? I've touched you plenty of times."

"I just wanted to look out the window." I told him again. What a weak excuse.

"To see a bird perched on a tree? Your excuses are so dumb you know that? Just come over here and sit with me. There's nothing to be afraid of." He stopped for a few seconds and then continued. "Unless if you don't trust me."

I turned around slowly. "Of course I trust you. It's just, I think you were going a little too far, you know. I'm just a little scared. I want you so much, but now isn't the time."

"All I was doing was going up your shirt! There's absolutely nothing wrong with touching!" He started yelling. I wasn't very scared though.

"I was just scared! I don't want to touch right now!" I yelled right back.

He got up from the couch, and walked over to me. He grabbed myand squeezed tightly. "Don't yell at me." He was inches away from my face.

There was something intriguing about him when he was mad. It always got me feeling tingly... down there. I was feeling that sensation right now. I smiled, and whispered "Okay".

He didn't take it though. He squeezed even harder, and thrust me against the wall. Even more tingling. "Don't smile, say yes. Not okay."

I stopped smiling. I was scared now. "Yes" I nodded my head up and down very fast. He then took a hold of my wrist, and my forearm, and pushed me down onto the ground. Why? All I did was yell at him. He did the same thing to me. But his short temper, is something else that I fell for. It's also something, that I know will get me in trouble later.

He took his hands away, and once the pressure was released, I could feel the pain. I'm sure there was bruising to come. But I still want him. I don't know why. He looked down, and he smiled. It was a cheeky smile. He probably feels dominant, bigger than me. At the moment he was. " I love you Jacey."

I didn't know what to say to this. He has never said he loves me before. And now after he left bruises on me, he says it? I just stared up at him in disbelief. I must not have answered fast enough for him, because he sat down on the ground next to me, and held my chin. "Do you love me Jacey?" He was holding very tight. Why was he doing this now?

"I love you too." I said, it was hard to talk with him holding me like this.

He took his hands away, and leaned in close to me, and whispered in my ear, "Tell me that you love me. Me as in my name. I want to here my name." He was scaring me now. Scaring me more than before.

"I love you, Brad."

End of Flashback

This memory made me want to do something rash. I had nothing to do anything with though. I had to do something, something to get my heartbeat to race a little faster. Something to make pain resort to my body, and get my mind off of things.

I decided what to do, and ran over to the curb. I stood up on it with one foot, tilted my other foot, and slammed it down on the ground as hard as I could. It hurt so much, it made more tears come to my eyes. And there was even more pain shooting to my ankle. But at least I wasn't thinking of anything else but the pain.

I had already dropped to the ground, and I was laying there, holding my ankle. I wasn't crying hard now. It hurt so bad. And I was successful, my heartbeat had to be racing a million times an hour. And now with my ankle hurt, in a place where I didn't know where I was, I sat there, and cried.

But the best part is, I wasn't thinking about anything else. Except for my ankle. And this is exactly how I wanted it to be.

Authors note:

I have never been in a abusive relation ship. Ever. I have read many things about abusive relation ships though. From the information that I have collected, I think I might be able to make it believable. I do have OCD, if any of you really wanted to know(I'm sure you don't care :p haha)

The ending is to show the problems that Jacey has. The things that go through her mind, and the things that she will do. Just in case if any of you wondered.

Anyways thanks for reading! Remember to R&R! :D

Oh, and sorry for being so late on updating! Gotta keep this boring life busy! xD

Just kidding. Ahhh, you gotta love me!

...Will be continued xD