"I know everyone is ready to head to bed after everything you've gone through, so I'll make this brief." Stiles announces to the house guests occupying his living room, all wearing borrowed sleepwear from Scott and Stiles. "There are only a few rules in the Stilinski house: no touching my clearly labelled food, no touching Lydia," pointedly glaring at Jackson who hadn't stopped eyeing Lydia ever since he walked in the front door. "No bothering Scott, he is a housemaid in title only. And lastly, no one is allowed to have sex until Stiles does."
The three boys stare blankly at Stiles, too exhausted to comment on the last rule of the home's owner.
"Onto the bed arrangements. Let's see...I can pair Kira with Erica, which leaves a bed for Liam and Isaac. Which only leaves...Jackson." Stiles sighs mournfully.
"I'm sure Lydia will be fine bunking together with me." Jackson smirks followed by a slap on the back of his head from Derek.
Stiles crosses his arms and stares Jackson down. "Now, I won't feel bad when I tell you you're taking the couch."
"Screw that! Make one of them take it!"
"Isaac is too tall." Derek says.
"Fine, then fun-sized Liam can take the couch."
Liam scowls at his brother, hating to have his height made fun of. The youngest Hale already feels ridiculously short without Jackson insulting him, wearing the too large pajamas given to him by Scott who was a good half foot taller. Liam had to roll up the cuffs so they didn't drag under his feet and tie the waist tight to prevent them from sagging off his butt. At least, Liam has Isaac to share his woes of ill-fitting nightwear. Isaac's pajamas bottoms looked like capri pants, his dilemma coming from being half a foot taller than Scott and Stiles. Sleeping in their clothes wasn't an option since Scott had kindly offered to wash their clothes for tomorrow, despite being a housemaid in name only, since none of the guests had a change of clothes.
"You're the eldest, you should want to sacrifice for your little - your younger brother." Derek quickly corrects, wanting to be sensitive to Liam's height insecurity.
"I should but I don't." Jackson counters defiantly.
"Then think of it as a learning experience on how not to be an ass and becoming a better big brother." Derek bites back.
"Fine." Jackson moodily complies. "It's better than waking to a morning boner that isn't yours."
It is Stiles' turn to stare blankly before ignoring what he heard to guide Liam and Isaac upstairs to their room while Jackson tags along for fresh linens for his spot on the couch.
Isaac falls back looking at Derek with concern. "Derek, where are you sleeping? There's nowhere left to sleep." Isaac asks.
The living room has one large couch - big enough to accommodate a person, as long as they weren't as tall as Isaac. The other couch is a small love seat that will have Derek's head and legs dangling over the armrests.
"I can take the floor for a night. The Sheriff said he would help with beds by tomorrow."
Isaac looks down dubiously at the floor. "It's, uh...flat. And hard. Flat and hard."
"I'll be fine, go get some rest." Derek tells Isaac who nods obediently and leaves to catch up with the others.
Unfortunately, Derek is anything but fine. The surface is indeed flat and hard, simply put. It is dead o'clock at night and all of the tossing, turning, and fluffing Derek does not provide the comfort he desperately needs for a good night's rest.
By the time the rising sun pokes through the slits of the curtains Derek has gotten only a few hours of sporadic bouts of sleep. The bright rays that seep through irritates Derek's light sensitive eyes but not more than Jackson's foot hanging loosely off the couch mere inches away from Derek's face. He swipes it away, the fifth time that night. Derek would have moved elsewhere but it was the best area to sleep in the carpeted living room. And it pains Derek to admit that despite Jackson's petulant attitude it does soothe the guardian to be near one of his charges after the traumatic event.
After realizing his quest for any more sleep was futile, Derek stiffly pads his way on barefeet to the kitchen, not eager to start the long day ahead but wanting to get off the uncomfortable surface he slept on.
Kira, Derek remembers, smiles politely at him as they pass each other in the entryway, with Derek entering the kitchen and Kira returning upstairs. His sleep deprived mind does not have the energy question what she's doing up this early before school. Besides, it's not really his business as a guest in this house.
To his surprise, Scott is already up brewing a fresh pot of coffee, face nearly as bright and warm as the sun. "Morning, man." Scott chirply said.
A curt nod of the head is Derek's response. It was as friendly as he could get this close to the sun rising.
"Not a morning guy, huh? I can tell. You should see Stiles, it's the only time of the day where he isn't talking." Scott smiles.
As the crooked jawed man moves around the kitchen Derek slumps at the kitchen island in a chair and notices how impressive the surroundings look. State of the art appliances, clean modern design, and a nice table perfect for a large gathering. When Derek is in a better state of mind, he is really going to need to find out how Stiles can afford all of this. Too bad a decent fold out couch wasn't in the home's impressive catalog.
Soon after Derek has enjoyed the coffee generously given to him, Stiles joins Derek at the kitchen island and cradles his own cup of coffee. Stiles begins mumbling incoherently to Derek sitting beside him. Scott, leaning against the countertop, witness Derek's confusion as Stiles continues to try communicating and decides to step in to decode before Derek's irritated glare intensifies any further. "He asked what's the story behind you and your dude?" Stiles aggravatedly spews gibberish again this time directed at Scott. "You and your brood," Scott corrects. "Sorry, lost in translation."
"Right." Derek had figured this was inevitable, it's only natural to wonder about a total stranger living with you. "The sum of the story is: I dated their mother for a few months and one day she just disappeared off the face of the earth before leaving me as their sole guardian."
"Dude, is she like an astronaut?" Stiles directs another incoherent statement at Scott's ditzy question. Scott pouts at his best friend, "I'm not a dumbass. He said she wasn't on Earth."
Derek's short summation seems to suffice Scott and Stiles' curiosity, which is a relief because there is a lot more to the story than what he's willing to give just yet. Who knows how they will react to how the Hales came to be in Beacon Hills? Derek knows Stiles is the son of a sheriff, but that shouldn't be a problem with the court records sealed from the public. His family's secret will hopefully remain safe until he's ready. Or if he ever will be ready...
After sharing his story, Derek thinks it's only fair that he gets to know more about his hosts. "How about your story? How can you even afford this place?"
Stiles chugs his coffee down to Derek's amazement, he was sure Stiles' cup still had steam rising before it was drained. "There was an ad posted at my dad's station, for a house sitting job. And after living on campus I was practically speeding to the place. So much drama with a bunch of horned up freshmen excited to be away from home and parental figures. There was always noise over who was sleeping with who. Then there were the parties... Anyway, turns out it wasn't just a house sitting job. This guy, Mr. Townsend, set these girls up in this house but something happened with their previous guardian. Bosman or Dudley." Stiles scratches his head trying to recall the name. "Uh, Bosley? Nah, that couldn't be it. Whatever, he gave me the position on the spot along with a stipend for a housemaid which is where my hetero-lifemate, Scott, comes into the story."
"You? He left three teenagers in your care?" Derek asks with unconcealed disbelief.
"I'm not sure the guy was playing with a full deck if you know what I mean." Stiles agrees. "But the old guy said," with an exaggerated vocal impression of an old man Stiles continues, "I was a diamond in the rough. Diamonds can't be made, they have to be found." Stiles switches back to his normal voice, "and he had found one. I know, if I was hearing this story I would have a hard time believing it too." He says when Derek's eyebrows look like they're trying to decide whether the story is one of fiction or fact.
Derek looks to Scott to confirm, no way someone like him would be able to go along with that kind of lie. But he doesn't find any indicators of a lie or a dumb joke being played on Derek.
"I guess my story is pretty unbelievable too. I'm still not sure how she was able to process those adoption papers without me knowing." Derek muses.
"So, you really didn't know she was a gold medalist in crazy? Man, the sex must have been out of this world to not see that." Stiles says, half-kidding.
"That should have been my first clue, that kind of intense, kinky sex only comes from crazy. But I fell hard. Fast. She was exciting, fun, and unpredictable in my boring life," leaving out how lonely he was too, "and I missed the signs. From now on I'm going to take my time before dating a new person."
"Hm, I noticed you said person instead of a specific gender." Stiles observes.
Derek rolls his eyes. "Yes, Stiles. I'm into both, great deduction skills."
Stiles taps the side of his noggin in acknowledgement of his super sleuth skills. "Okay back to the crazy ex sex."
Even though it feels like too personal of a topic for Derek to share with relative strangers, he obliges the request. It could be the lack of sleep affecting Derek's better judgement or being grateful enough to grant Stiles' weird request or maybe the easy atmosphere Scott and Stiles immersed him in. "Most of the time, it was like she was somewhere else or thinking of someone else. And just needed a warm body and a hard-"
A string of seriously bad pretend coughing come from Scott eyeing behind Derek and Stiles purposefully. Derek watches Liam enter the kitchen, mimicking Derek by nodding politely to the three men before he opens the fridge.
Scott moves closer to the island to whisper his concern to Derek. "Is he okay? Seems pretty down."
"We did lose our home yesterday, so…" Derek trails off as he states the obvious reason for Liam's mood.
"Listen to Scott, he's a very intuitive guy about other people's feelings." Stiles advises. Derek takes another look at Liam wondering if he needs to be worried about the youngest of his kids again after Seattle.
More people start to intermittently fill the kitchen in search for food as the time to begin school nears. Derek decided last night to send the boys to school after Isaac spilt the beans about the upcoming midterms, filling Liam and Jackson with loathing toward the middle brother. Derek knew all of his kids needed as much studying and reviewing as they could get. The boys were far from dumb but did not excel in academics. Even Derek couldn't take a day off, although his boss understood Derek's predicament he also stated any time off would count as 'unpaid personal leave'. With the added expenses of replacing the items lost in the fire and affording a new place to live, every day of pay was crucial.
Erica is the last to come in the kitchen with curlers in her hair and a green facial mask. "Great, now we have a bunch of boys seeing us at our worse in the morning." She says taking a seat by Kira at the table.
Stiles and Scott shoot Erica a shared look of 'hey what about us?'.
"You two don't count. At least not for some of us." Erica playfully nudges Kira with her elbow. The teasing gesture sends Kira in a sudden coughing fit around the spoon of oatmeal in her mouth. Before anyone can get too worried about her, Kira signals with a dismissive wave that she's fine. Erica innocently begins spreading cream cheese on a bagel, pointedly ignoring the affronted look from Kira.
"Babe, how are you so refreshed looking?" Jackson wonders as tiredly pushes around the cereal in his bowl. Everyone else is groggy and a bit crusty except Lydia.
"Early to bed, early to wake makes a lady smart, pretty, and great." Lydia states before eating her spoonful of grapefruit.
Erica expresses her own philosophy. "I say: Early to rise and early to bed makes a girl healthy but socially dead." Isaac lifts his bowl of cereal up to toast to her opinion.
Stiles stands in the foyer with the kids gathered in a half circle in front of him, everyone ready to hit the road and begin a day of learning. Or in Stiles' case, recording the lecture and going back to sleep during class. He really hopes none of the kids ever follow in his footsteps. And also hopes his snoring won't be the only thing heard in the playback like last time.
"Well, I usually drop off the girls myself on my way to class. I can't believe I got stuck with an early AM class." Stiles mutters lowly. "I'm sure everyone won't fit in my Jeep…"
"Lydia can sit on my lap, I'll even wrap my arms tight around her like a seatbelt. Or she could wrap her legs around me. I'm good with either." Jackson offers as a solution while Stiles is busy trying to apply his math courses to figure a way to fit six additional passengers in his Jeep that seats four extra.
Stiles knew his professors lied about trigonometry and statistical analysis having any applicable use in the real world. He's glad he skated by last year with a C average in his math courses.
"Getting tired of your 'help', Jackson." Stiles says using finger quotes. "You know I have a better solution: You can ride on the hood of the car. Don't worry we'll strap you up real nice so you don't fall off. Hey, we can even run through the car wash to get you all cleaned for school." A horn honks from the driveway outside breaking Stiles out of his wide smiling performance. "Who is that?" Stiles asks, peering through the side windows at the front door.
"That's our ride. Danny. Could've had my own car if someone knew how to control their temper." Jackson answers and gets an elbow in the ribs from Isaac.
"You have a ride to school? You couldn't have just said that instead of riling me up first thing in the morning?"
"Where would the fun be in that? Have a safe ride in that death trap!" Jackson calls out behind him as he leaves out the front door with Liam following behind.
"Where the hell is Derek?" Stiles practically yells out to draw Derek from upstairs. The houseguest could've told Stiles about his boys having a ride to school. Then Stiles remembers the ordeal Derek is still reeling from less than 24 hours later and decides to give him some slack.
"Probably hiding somewhere, Danny has a big crush on him." Isaac imparts to Stiles before walking out the door to join his brothers.
"Look at the cozy little family." Kate sneers at the foot of Beacon Hills High School, staring at the mix of Stilinski and Hale teenagers walking away from the familiar rickety blue Jeep she saw last night driving off.
The horn of the Jeep honks grabbing the attention of all bypassers within the vicinity. "Bye Jackie-pooh bear! Have a wonderful day and don't forget to be the sweet baby boy I know you are!" Stiles drives off and glances back in the rearview mirror at a mortified Jackson. "That'll teach you to insult my baby." He gently rubs the dashboard of his Jeep as he exits the drop off lane.
"Jackson, a word please." Kate beckons to the boy shielding his face from the laughs directed his way. "It looks like you're not a fan of the chauffeur's choice of wheels."
"Or the chauffeur…" Jackson adjusts the strap of his backpack. He didn't bother saying about how Stiles didn't technically drive him here.
"Well then, my offer should make you quite happy."
"What's the catch? There's always a catch."
"Quite astute. Yes, there is a little favor. One that you'll be doing anyway. I need you to keep an eye and an ear on the everything happening in your new temporary home. Especially… Stiles Stilinski." Kate's false vibrant front darkened for a flash at the use of Stiles' name. "And then report back to me of any new developments. See, simple."
"Why do you care about what goes on with us?"
"I care about all the prospering young students roaming these hallowed halls." Kate explains with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "I just want to know that you and your brothers are being properly cared for."
Jackson throws a look of skepticism at Kate.
"Let me rephrase that to terms you'll understand more clearly…" Kate takes her car keys out and pushes a button. The sound of chirping sends Jackson's vision to the gorgeous Porsche sitting in the faculty lot. "Vroom, vroom."
Realization dawns on Jackson's face from Kate's message. "My kind of language, Ms. Argent."
Kate hands Jackson her keys and places an arm around his shoulder, guiding him into the school building to start her work day and begin a new partnership.
A/N: I think after Derek's and Stiles' adoption backstory I can safely move this from slight crack to full crack.