"I'm bored."

"I don't care."

"…I'm bored."

"Do you vant to die?"

"If it makes it not so boring."

Medic glared over the top of the book and contemplated all the ways he could follow through with his threat. Sitting across from him at the kitchen table was the Scout who was draped across the tabletop doing nothing. Well, that was inaccurate. He was being an annoyance. However, it was a different type of annoyance than he usually was. Scout was usually running about the place yelling at the top of his lungs and being annoying. Now, he was doing nothing but complaining and being annoying.

At least when he was running around, he would leave after losing interest. In this instance though, he just lingered. Medic could not get rid of him. Why he chose to haunt his existence, he did not know. All he did know was that Engineer needed to get back with the groceries, namely the caffeinated coffee, stat. They ran out and Medic thought it would calm the Scout down. He just did not consider Scout stalking him and telling him how bored he was. After a whole day of this, Medic was ready to dig through his medicine cabinet and drug the Scout into oblivion. Unfortunately, Sniper happened across him when he had been rummaging around and guessed what he was up to. Then, Medic had to listen to a lecture on being professional. All in all, he was about to screw professionalism and euthanize the Scout.

"I'm bored."

"Let me put you out of your misery."

If Scout was looking up, and not at the tabletop, he would have seen a dangerous glint in Medic's eye. Of course, before Medic could reach into his pocket and pull out a shot with certain chemicals, another loud voice boomed through the kitchen.

"Where the hell are me booze?!"

Had the Demoman had his entire peripheral vision, he could have easily ducked. But of course, missing one of his eyes made seeing things on his blind side extremely difficult. As a result, a heavy book collided with his head. Medic stood up and stormed out of the room.

"Vhy can't any of you just shut the hell up?! You!" Medic pointed at Demo. "He's your problem."

With that, Medic grabbed his book from the floor and stormed out of the room in a hurry. Demo watched him leave, not sure as to why Medic was so upset, though he could guess it had something to do with the Scout who was still mumbling into the tabletop.

"I'm bored."

"You and me both, boyo."

He plopped into another chair and began drumming his fingers on the tabletop. Normally, he would start ranting at him about being annoying, but in reality, he was just as bored. They just sat at the table, one mumbling, another learning that his sense of rhythm left something to be desired.

"I'm bored."

"Aye…I wish I had me booze and a fine woman."

Scout slightly shifted in his seat when he heard the word, "woman." He was male after all. However, he knew it was pointless to dwell on it too long.

"Yeah, but there ain't any women around here."

"A cryin' shame."

They drifted off into silence before Scout suddenly sat up and pounded the table.

"Seriously! Why the hell is it such a sausage fest in here?!"

"Sausage? I already told you I'd grill some hot dogs up."

Both the Demoman and the Scout looked over at the Sniper who was holding a plate piled with freshly grilled steaks. He set the plate on the table and nudged the shoulder of Scout who grudgingly stood up and sluggishly walked to the cabinets to pull out a set of plates. While he more or less tossed the plates onto the table, Demo managed to get off his rear side and grab the hotdog buns from the bread drawer and toss them on the table.

"Now I don't want 'em after that…"

Sniper handed Scout a hotdog and cocked an eyebrow when Scout stared at the piece of meat with a semi-disgusted expression.

"What's this now, eh? You were the one who wanted hotdogs in the first place."

A deep sigh escaped the Scout and a low chuckle came from the Demoman. Sniper switched his gaze from one to the other curiously while he took a bite out of his own hotdog.

"I mean, do ya ever think about the lack of women here?...And now we're eatin' hotdogs."

Now a snort escaped Demoman. He picked up his own hotdog and held it out at arms length as he examined it.

"Who d'ya think decided ta make 'em this shape?"

"I know, right?"

Sniper had his halfway in his mouth and before taking a bite, he suddenly paused. His mind suddenly processed what they were talking about and he pulled the hotdog away from his mouth with a slightly chagrined expression.

"Mate's, could we not?"

That caused Scout and Demo to start laughing. Sniper shook his head and picked up the hotdog again. He was a professional and childish rambling was not something that should affect him. With all the determination he could manage, he took a single, albeit small, bite out of the meat. It took all his might not to lunge across the table with his kukri and take off two heads who were chuckling in a low tone not too uncommon for young boys talking about something dirty.

"Way to take charge with the sausage, mate."

Scout and Demoman started laughing again. However, Sniper was above it all and once again, mustered all his determination to continue eating. He shot Demo a withering glare before he could say anything and was suddenly happy to see Soldier marching in. Surely he would be the buffer between Sniper and the idiots.

"What's all the racket, maggots?"

"We were just talking about how there's a sausage fest here and Sniper really enjoys sausage."

Demoman snickered but suddenly found his face colliding with the tabletop. He had the misfortune of sitting right next to Sniper who had the perfect distance for slamming people's heads into tables.

"Of course he likes sausage. What man doesn't?"

Sniper visibly cringed when Soldier spoke. This just sent Scout and Demoman into a new wave of hysterics. Soldier seemed perplexed about what was so funny, but nonetheless, he sat himself down and grabbed for his own hotdog. Meanwhile, Scout and Demoman's hotdog sat untouched on their plates.

"Ya didn't seem like the type to go for the sausage."

Forget coffee and booze, Scout and Demoman just found something to pass some time. They watched Soldier take a giant bite out of his hotdog and happily munch on it. Demoman leaned forward with a sly grin.

"Way ta take that sausage in yer mouth."

"A real man takes in as much as he can."

"I'm sure he does."

Scout could barely talk without laughing. This earned him an odd look from Soldier who continued to finish off his hotdog with gusto. As he finished and was reaching for another hotdog, the resident pyromaniac entered the kitchen in the pursuit of delicious sausage.

"Mmph?"

"Oh, hey Pryo. We're just talkin' about how this place is too much of a sausage fest…even though these yahoos seem to really like 'em."

Despite his valiant efforts to send venomous glares to Scout, Sniper was easily ignored. While Soldier was polishing off his hotdog, Sniper was still trying to finish his first. He nodded curtly to Pyro as he attempted to block out the idiotic noise. Pyro grabbed a hotdog, set it on a plate, and exited the kitchen.

"Mmph mp mmpf!"

"My sentiments exactly mate. Shut the 'ell up!"

Sniper glared pointedly at Scout and Demoman who promptly shut up, but it was obvious they were still trying to keep from laughing. However, it was short lived.

"Aw, lighten up, Koala Joe. Ya can't deny that it really is a sausage fest in here."

"Mm, I like sausage lots!"

Sniper pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew where this was going and the worst part was the newest addition to their conversation would make it worse without even knowing it. Demoman pulled out a chair for the Heavy and patted him on the back.

"Aye, that you do. Now 'ow aboot we get you some sausage."

Heavy trundled over to the table and rubbed his hands together eagerly.

"Smells good. My compliments to the chef."

Sniper absently waved his hand in acknowledgement and stared forlornly at the half eaten hotdog on his plate.

"Yeah, well, ya know how Sniper likes his sausage."

At this point, Sniper was thinking about giving up and leaving the room like Pyro did, however, his professional pride would not allow him to concede to the likes of Scout and Demoman. So, he gathered up his resolve and picked up his hotdog again.

"Da, Sniper makes good sausage."

There was a brief moment of silence and during that pregnant pause; Sniper cursed Heavy for his simple-minded commentary. He was just waiting for the commentary to start, but of course, it could not be that easy.

"Vhat are you two dummkopfs laughing at? And vhy are you going on about a sausage fest? I did not think America had one."

Scout smirked and shrugged.

"Apparently we do now."

Medic frowned when Scout and Demoman burst into hysterics. Heavy, Soldier, and Medic were confused as to why reconstituted meat was so hilarious. He looked to Sniper for some clarification but received none because Sniper was clenching and unclenching his fists and looked as if he was going to hyperventilate.

"Vhat are you even talking about?"

Demoman pointed to Heavy who was still happily, and noisily, munching on his hotdog.

"He was just tellin' us how he liked Sniper's sausage."

Of course, Scout started a new round of laughter. During this whole ordeal, Heavy just remained oblivious and Sniper still had a sliver of determination left. He picked up his hotdog again and was going to take another bite when Heavy opened his mouth to talk.

"Da, Sniper's sausage is good. But I like Medic's sausage too."

"Of course you like my sausage. I am German. I know my sausage."

Scout and Demo broke into another loud peal of laughter while Sniper just threw his hotdog onto his plate and stood up.

"Bloody 'ell!...Never again…I can never eat a hotdog again."

Everybody just watched as Sniper stormed out of the kitchen in the midst of raucous laughter. When he disappeared, Scout was going to say something but was interrupted by the appearance of Spy who was calmly standing in the corner of the kitchen eating a hotdog. Nobody knew at what point he showed up and grabbed a hotdog. They just knew he was doing that creepy appearing thing and looked far too amused. He popped the last bite of hotdog in his mouth and wiped his mouth with a napkin. Tossing the napkin in the garbage, Spy carelessly sauntered out of the kitchen and smirked.

"I guess all our sausage was too much to take."

A/N: I am so tired right now and I was so tired when I wrote this. Sorry if it isn't as up to par as my previous chapters. Hopefully it's still fun to read. This was a request by one of my reviewers who brought up the point that there were no women and it would totally be Scout to bring up why it was such a sausage fest. I had fun with it and it really fit with the miscommunication theme. Either way, there were a lot of "that's what she said" moments when I was writing this. TitaniumPhoenix knows what I'm talkin' about. :D And poor Sniper. He became the martyr of this story. He just wanted to enjoy his hotdog in peace. Anyways, it took a while to update, but hopefully with school coming to an end next month, updates can come faster. Just like before, any ideas or anything you want to see written, drop me a line and I'll see what I can do. I'm open to suggestions. :) Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed!