Chapter 4

Over the next couple of weeks life at Prince Manor quickly fell into a steady routine. The children enjoyed each others company and after Bella had bought Hermione a bike the two of them spent hours exploring the area around the house. Bella felt like all her christmas's had come at once, she had the happy noisy child filled house she'd always dreamed off. And Snape was, well, Snape. At breakfast they barely had a grunt from him, by lunch he managed a few short words, generally peppered with sarcasm but by the evening he positively came alive and was talking in complete sentances. He spent hours closetted in his lab or study and had after only a few short days refrained from popping out every few minutes to reprimand the children for some minor noise or infraction instead choosing to cast a silencing charm around the room he was working in.

Bella still enjoyed starting her day off early, preparing her soups bread and sweet treats for her various customers but she put off her deliveries to Mrs Walker until they'd eaten breakfast so that the children could go as well. As Mrs Walker had predicted Hermione had become much more comfortable around her but while Harry was happy to stay and chat, she preferred to take the chance to visit the town library most mornings.

If you ignored Snapes grumpiness breakfast was a pleasant meal, the children tended to appear in their pajama's at around 8am to watch TV. They'd agreed from the beginning to take it in turns to choose what they watched so on alternative mornings there was either some adventure cartoon on of Harrys or a more educational style show that Hermione tended to prefer. Snape would emerge just before 9am clutching his empty coffee mug like a life line and Bella would happily provide them with a filling hot breakfast while chatting about their plans for the day. Her husband disappeared behind his newspaper after letting Harry aquire the childrens section. He had even grudgingly started to allow Hermione to read the articles he'd finished with as she was desperate to learn more about the magical world. It had even been known for him to occasionally answer one of the many questions Hermione threw at him about things she'd read. In his defense, and Snape found the need to defend his actions to himself if no one else, he found it to be a bit of novelty that someone would actually listen so attentively when he explained something. At first, in the name of fairness, he'd tried to include Harry in these discussions but it very quickly became apparent that he had no interest in the ways of their world, instead he preferred his quality time with his Godfather in the half an hour before lights out where Snape would continue to read aloud to him.

Lunch tended to be a quick affair where the family would take a break from their various activities, eat a light meal and then continue with their day. While the evening meal was a leisurely time to catch up with the rest of the family.

Life for the most part in the Snape-Potter-Granger household was relatively harmonious. The children behaved themselves apart from the occasional minor squabble usually caused by Harry annoying Hermione while she tried to read or Hermione trying to explain the rules of a game while Harry just wanted to see what happened. They usually managed to resolve things by themselves after a few minutes or an occasional glare from Snape was enough to make them put aside their differences. Contray to his expectations Snape had a productive couple of weeks, by the time the Grangers funeral came around he had brewed the many potions required to restock the school infirmary, finished his marking and created his lesson plan for the following year which left the remainder of the holiday for him to concentrate on his preffered field of expertise, the research and creation of new potions. For Bella life became more enjoyable, she loved spending time with the children, both together and separately, and even though day to day life was much more hectic she wouldn't have it any other way. And she loved having her husband home, he may only be a floo call or visit away but it wasn't the same as waking up next to him every morning. This was how she'd imagined proper family life when she'd been growing up, instead of the unconventional commune life she'd experienced.

As Snape had predicted Bella had taken the children shopping and bought whole new muggle wardrobes for both of them as Harry didn't really have any summer clothes and Hermiones were not deemed appropriate for play. Snape had declined the offer to go with them and in retaliation the muggle clothes Bella brought back for him were not in his usual black but consisted of several pairs of blue jeans, casual light coloured shirts and muted pastal coloured summer jumpers, however, it did not take long for him to transfigure them to various shades of grey and black once his wifes back was turned.

Harry was coming into his own with Hermione around, he took his cues from her over lots of little things that would normally come naurally to child that had been brought up in a happy home, things that Bella and Snape as adults would have found difficult to teach him. And in return Harry helped Hermione, she soon lost her overly polite reserve and would even occasionally join in with the more messy play that Harry loved.

Watching the two of them together Bella very quickly became aware of their differences. Hermione was quite content to sit quietly and remained focused on a task until it was finished where Harry was just about able to sit still for a meal before wanting to be on the move again and he would flit from activity to activity while rarely finishing anything. When they attempted things together, like the messy pizza making session they'd had the other day, Hermione who always wanted to understand everything before they started read throught the recipe from start to finish and had all of her ingredients weighed and measured before she started while Harry was content to get stuck in and work things out as they went along. Apart from having a very messy kitchen at the end of it Bella realised that although the children were very different in alot of ways they could be the natural children of herself and Snape, Hermione strongly resembled Severus if you ignored his acidic disposition, something she had learned to do very early on, while Harry was just like Bella in many ways.

Bella and Snape had spoken with Hermione at length and it had been decided that her parents would be buried in the local cemetary so that they were close by and she could visit any time. Snape had made arrangements for a small service with just the four of them in attendance and the day before Bella had organised for a memorial service to take place in Hermiones home town so that their colleagues, aquaintenances and friends could pay their respects. Snape attended as Hermiones representative and had stored his silvery memories of the day for her to look back on when she was older.

Unfortunately the day had taken its toll on both of the children, Hermiones feelings of grief and loneliness came crashing back resulting in a restless nights and Harry became distraught because he had no idea where his own parents were buried. At great emotional cost to himself Snape along with Bella had apparated both children to Godrics Hollow to lay flowers on the graves of James and Lily Potter. But the visit had caused Harrys nightmares to return with avengance.

Distracted by his own feelings of guilt and grief Snape had allowed Bella to lead them out of the graveyard by a small side gate before he realised where it would take them. The Potter house had been partially destroyed when the curse had rebounded but the ministry of magic had decided to keep the damaged house as a memorial, on one hand it was the celebrated place where the most evil wizard of all time had been defeated but on the other it was where Lily and James Potter had lost their lives leaving their fifteen month old son an orphan. Every year on the anniversary of this bitter sweet Hallowen night this spot in Godrics Hollow became a place of pilgrimage for many a witch and wizard where a vigil was held celebrating the downfall of Voldemort and mourning the loss of the Potters. Snape made his own yearly visit in the early hours of the following morning at precisiley the same time as he had on that fateful night when he discovered the slain body of his only real friend. A complex charm had been spelled onto the remains of the house only allowing it to be come visible to anyone with magic. To passing muggles it was merely an unsightly pile of brick and rubble covered in moss which they had come to ignore just as the small amount of Godrics Hollow muggle inhabitants had come to disregard the strange Halloween party that seemed to be held in front of it each year.

However, as her husband had never shared the details of the Potters unique memorial or its location Bella had no way of knowing the memories the house would invoke in either boy or man when its secrets were revealed as their magical signatures were recognised when they passed by. The air crackled with powerful magic as the remains of the house became visible. For once Snape was unable to fomulate a thought as the reality of his actions crystalised before his eyes and neither Harrys whimpering or Hermiones gasp could draw him back from the dark recesses of his mind.

Bella was torn, she desperately needed to get her family home but she knew from past experience that once she lost Severus this way only time would allow him to return to her. He needed time to reorganise his mind, to tuck the pain and guilt back into the scarred compartments of his brain and that was not something he would be able to do while standing in the place where they were killed. But the children needed her now, Harry was clearly having some form of flashback and Hermione just didn't understand. Making a split second decision she grabbed each child by the hand and after checking they were alone apparated them back to Prince Manor. Once in the safety of their house she gave each child a calming draught and with promises to return within minutes she went back to her husbands side. He was just as she'd left him, his black eyes fixed on the exposed first floor nursery. Slipping her hand in his she felt a slight flex of his fingers as he acknowledged her presence, his breathing became steadier and he was finally able to tear his gaze from the ruins.

"The children?" It came out as a hoarse whisper.

"I've taken them home. Are you able to come back with me, I think Harry will need you, he knows this place, he remembers something. I can't give him the answers or truths he needs but you can."

For a moment there was a flash of something in Snapes eyes but the emotion went as quickly as it came. He pulled himself out of his memories and away from the anchoring hold of his wifes hand.

"Go to them, I need to see Dumbledore and then I will return home." And with a crack he was gone leaving Bella alone.

Snape appeared at the gates of Hogwarts and began the long walk to the castle. He could have gone straight home and flooed to the Headmasters quarters but he was not yet ready to face the imagined accusation on his Godsons face and the walk would give him chance to prepare his mind for what was to come. While Snape spent alot of time complaining about the restraints and expectations the Headmaster placed on him in reality the old man was his saviour, his mentor and friend. When the despair became too much, usually at times when he dared to feel the most content, Dumbledore was there to offer counsel and help magically restore the balance of his mind. While Bella loved him she could never understand the concept of his earlier life but Dumbledore knew, Snape never dared ask how he knew, just knowing that he knew was enough.

When Bella returned home she found both children just as she'd left them. By the glassy look in their eyes the calming draught had worked. Not knowing what to say and not wanting to reassure one over the other she did the only thing her maternal instinct could conceive. Gathering both children in her arms she pulled them to the larger sofa, settled one on either side of her and held them tightly their heads resting on her chest.

Bella had no idea how long they stayed there, there were times when one or other cried, they dozed fitfully but no one talked or made an attempt to move. As the sun sank in the sky Bella finally realised they were both asleep and allowed her thoughts to wander to her husband. She knew where he was and whose councel he had sought, sometimes it hurt that she wasn't enough for him, that her love wasn't capable of healing his deepest wounds but she'd come to accept that her powerful husband needed someone even more powerful to help him though the evil shadows of his past and because she loved him wholeheartedly she was glad he had that someone.

As if her thoughts had pulled him back to her he appeared in the room his expression once again focused, his eyes nolonger defeated.

Neither spoke about his withdrawal instead they focused in on the sleeping children. Casting a featherlight charm on each one Snape picked up Harry while Bella kept hold of Hermione and carried them to bed. After transfiguring their clothes into nighwear each adult settled in with their respective child for a long night of restless sleep.

While Bella only had to sit by helplessly while Hermione whimpered and cried in her sleep occasionally Snapes night was a different stoy. Harry thrashed around and at the first gut renching scream Snape cast a silencing charm around the room so as not to disturb the females. Harry screamed for his parents and clutched his fist to his scar which seemed to visibliy throb under his grasp and glow an angry red. Snape desperately tried to calm Harry, he held him, he tried to shake him awake, he shouted his name and rubbed soothing circles on his back but nothing could break through the wall of hell Harry seemed to have erected aound himself. Occasionally his eyes would open as he called out for his mummy and daddy but the vacant stare proved he wasn't awake. Out of desperation Snape broke ino Harrys mind the next time his eyes opened. As gently as possible he filtered through the thoughts in Harrys head until he came across a swirling black mass hidden away behind strong barriers. After cancelling out each wall he was hit by a powerful memory. Through Harrys eyes and ears he heard James Potter battle Voldemort and the curse being cast that took his life, he saw Lily beg for Harrys life and then her decision to put her own body between the madman and her baby, the spell that killed her and finally the green flash as the killing curse was fired his way. The memory faded and another took its place, this time Snape could see himself through Harrys eyes, he watched as he took Lilys lifeless body in his arms and cried agognising tears.

Feeling ashamed Snape pulled out of Harrys mind. Despite his promise to Lily when he'd gone to Godrics Hollow that night he'd not given a moments thought to baby Harry, he'd been so wrapped up in his grief for the childs mother and then he'd apparated away the moment he'd heard someone approach the house not knowing if he was leaving the baby to the mercies of friend or foe. He had never thought that Harry would have memories of that night but seeing them from Harrys perspective he knew how vivid and real they were. And now that they had been unleashed again probably as a result of returning to the scene of the crime as it were, Harry would be permanently traumatised unless Snape could re-enter his mind and lock the memories away again until a time when Harry was old enough to process them naturally.

Once the memories were safely tucked away again Harry started to quieten and the lightening bolt scar faded to its usual dull pink. Snape had used some little known magic to lock the memories away, the process involved weaving minute and complex wards wrapped around each strand of memory and burying them deep within the psycye so that the owner of the memory would have no knowledge of them. Nothing short of a serious assault on Harrys mind by an exceptionally skilled legilmens, someone stronger then Snape or a magical creature such as a dementor could bring them forward, neither of which would come into contact with Harry until he came of age, if indeed ever. The wards would need strenghtening from time to time but Snape had no plans to go anywhere, he would use the nightly reading sessions with Harry to access his mind occasonally to ensure all was well, to prevent his Godson from needlessly suffering and reliving the moments of his parents death over and over.

Satisfied that he had done everything within his power to protect his best friends child Snape settled in to monitor the sleeping boy.

The following few days were difficult for both adults and children alike. The children were subdued and clingy not wanting to be left alone and expressing concern when their Aunt or Uncle left their sight. Harry seemed to regress a little, he needed direction to do the simplest of tasks and Bella once again found food hidden in strange places. Hermione took to trailling after Snape which in itself caused a number of issues. He was essentially a solitary person and to have a constant companion unnerved him and it wasn't just Hermione he had to contend with, Bellas cat had switched her allegances to the younger girl from her first evening in the house, Midnight slept on her bed and shadowed her in the house which meant wizard and feline had to tolerate each others presence.

To everyones relief, especially Snapes, things started to return to normal and the trauma of funeral week started to fade. Unfortunately the strain had taken its toll on all of the family members, even Bella was feeling tired and out of sorts and everything came to a head one eventful Monday morning.

Snape had gone to bed in a foul mood after Dumbledore had stepped through his study fireplace and regrettably informed him that once again he had not been offered the position of defense against the dark arts teacher. The sourness continued when he woke and knocked his coffee over, then as he made his way along the landing he tripped over one of Harrys action figures causing him to stumble down the first few steps of the staircase. He arrived in the kitchen to hear the children bickering over the television but before he could release any of his pent up frustration by expressing his displeasure Bella stepped in and confiscated the remote.

The squabbling continued over whose turn it was to set the table, who was going to pay the delivery owl, who had the crispest strip of bacon and finally who got the last glass of pumpkin juice. Bella tried unsuccessfully to play peacemaker and Snape did his best to block the sound out just as he did during meal times at Hogwarts. Unfortunately for Harry and Hermione it was the extremely irratable Snape that received the last of the pumpkin juice, as they fought over the jug they managed to knock the contents over in their Uncles direction. The whole room froze as Snape pushed his chair back, the juice dripping off his clothes as he stood, and pulled his wand from his sleeve in one smooth move. He pointed it at the terrified children for a second before subtley alterning its direction and hissing in latin. The stable door behind them slammed open.

"Get. Out." Snape didn't need to shout, the ice in his words combined with the fury on his face had them scurrying out onto the porch and down the steps into the gardren, united for the first time that day in their hurry to escape Uncles Severus's wrath.

"He really isn't a morning person is he." Commented Harry as they threw themselves down on the grass.

"Well you can't blame him for being mad, we did get him all wet." Replied Hermione

Harry had come to hate Hermiones reasonable tone and hearing it now reignited his temper.

"Well if you hadn't of grabbed the jug from me it wouldn't have happened." He accused irritably.

Hermione frowned, folded her arms and delibritatly turned her back on him. They sat in silence for a few minutes neither sure what to say to make things right.

Harry found his mind wandering trying to think about anything but how much trouble they were in. He found himself wishing that school would finish soon so that his friends would be around to play with. Apart from today Hermione was usually alright but she did tend to be quite bossy and acted like she knew everything and there were things you just couldn't do or say with a girl around. Unfortunately this led him to thinking about the homework he had to do over the holidays. He'd been set similar homework at his other school but he'd never been expected to do it, he could just imagine his teachers face if he handed in a diary listing all the chores and beatings he'd had on a daily basis. His previous class mates had described days out and holidays abroad but the highlight of his schoool holiday had been the week he spent with Mrs Figg each year while the Dursleys went away to the seaside or the times they'd locked him in his cupboard when at least he was left alone. But after Uncle Sevs lecture the other day he knew he had to try really hard at school this coming year. Just like he knew he couldn't write about life at his relatives he knew this summer he wouldn't be abe to write about life at the Snapes. As he pondered his problem it occured to him that he could just make things up but then he had another dilema, he didn't really know what normal muggles did. Then a plan started to form.

" 'Mione."

Hermione was still stubbornly ignoring Harry but something in the hesitant way he said her name reminded her of that first night when he asked if she knew who he was. With a deep sigh she turned to face him but still kept her arms folded.

Harry took this as a good sign "Did you go on holiday with your family?" It was only when he saw tears start to form in her eyes that Harry realised that asking something like this only days after the funeral wasn't such a good idea. "I'm sorry it doesn't matter." He mumbled

Hermione wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Its alright Aunty Bella says that talking about them will upset me but the more I do the less I'll want to cry until one day I'll be able to think about them without feeling sad at all and just remember the happy times."

"It must be nice to have happy memories, I wish I had any of my Mum and Dad."

Hermione didn't know what to say to this so insead she focused on his earlier question which when she thought about it did seem abit odd, not that she wasn't used to Harry launching into conversations about weird stuff but these seemed different, urgent to him somehow.

"We used to go for days out and every year we went abroad for two weeks in the summer."

Something sparked in Harry, maybe there was a way to do is school project after all. "Will you tell me about the places you went?"

"Why do you want to know?" If the conversatin in his bedroom was anything to go by Hermione knew there would be some reason that was very important to Harry.

Harry couldn't help blushing, he'd hoped she'd just tell him and now she was asking questions he didn't know what to do. He could either trust Hermione to help him or risk upsetting his Aunty and Godfather because he wasn't doing well in school. Being braver than he felt he decided to see if his new sister would agree to help.

"We've got to do a holiday diary for school and I thought if you could tell me what you used to do I could pretend I did it and write about it."

Hermiones reaction was instantanious. "I am not going to help you cheat on your homework."

Harrys heart sank she was his last chance, his only chance really. He was determined not to cry. After all what did he really expect, why would anyone want to help a freak like him. And it wasn't like he wasn't used to being in trouble it was just that the last few months had been so nice.

"Its ok I understand, I guess i'll try and make something up."

Hermione still didn't understand. "But why do you have to make something up at all, I don't mind helping.." She stressed the word "... you write a list of what we do over the holidays so you can write about it."

"I guess I can write about you coming to live here, its better than nothing and maybe I won't get into so much trouble."

Getting a little frustrated now, Hermione tried again. "Why would you get into trouble, they'll be more to write about than me, isn't it your birthday soon you can write about that."

"We're not allowed to tell muggles about magic so I can't write about our house where hoovers clean by themselves, pictures talk to you and owls deliver our post. I can't tell anyone that we travel by fireplace to a secret magic street in the middle of London or that my Godfather is going to teach m to ride a broom and make magic potions. I don't want my teacher to know that I visited my parents grave for the first time in my life and that when I did the house where they were killed by an evil wizard appeared out of nowhere. And if I don't give in a diary then the teacher will tell me off and let Aunty Bella know and you heard what Uncle Sev said the other day, we have to do well at school." Speaking it all out loud made Harry realise how hopeless it all was.

Now that Hermione understood the problem all she had to do was think about things logically. If Harry couldn't write about magical things then the answer had to be that he had to do non magic things.

"Harry you're not going to get into trouble. All we have to do is ask Aunty Bella and Uncle Severus if we can do some muggle things in the holidays and then you can write about them as well as me and your birthday." It all seemed quite simple to Hermione who was used to adults that she could rely on and ask things of without fear of rejection.

The little spark of hope flickered again but Harry didn't know whay she kept talking about his birthday, only special boys had birthdays and christmas's and Harry knew he wasn't special but maybe Aunty Bella would let them do some normal muggle things especially if Hermione wanted to as well, she'd talked about her birthdays and christmas's before so he knew she must be special. It was just Uncle Sev he wasn't so sure about, Harry knew he didn't like muggle things and always complained when Aunty Bella tried to talkto him about them.

But Harry was saved from having to say anything as Aunty Bella called them back into the house. Remembering what Uncle Sev had told him the other day Harry whispered to Hermione as they headed back to the house "I don't think he'll stay mad for too long if we say sorry."

After re-filling the table with a second attempt at breakfast, she passed her husband another cup of coffee.

"I know you're upset that Dumbledore turned you down again but try not to take it out on them, its not fair."

"This has nothing to do with the Headmaster, they covered me in juice:"

"It was an accident." She reminded him

"If they hadn't of been acting so childishly then it wouldn't have happened." He grumbled and it didn't help his mood when she laughed at him.

"Severus they are children. Now be nice." She dropped a kiss on his greasy black hair just as the children came in and stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Well sit down and lets try again shall we." But they still continued to hover.

"Uncle Severus we're sorry." Blurted out Hermione

"Yeah really sorry Uncle Sev." Echoed Harry not wanting to be outdone, after all it was his idea.

Snape had to admit he was surprised, in his experience children only seemed to show remorse when they thought it would lessen any punishment he was about to hand out. He regarded them both for a moment his black eyes flicking between the two nervous figures. They seemed genuine.

"Just be careful in future, now please sit down before another breakfast is ruined." Snape was even more taken aback when he found his arms full of repentent children, giving them each a swift awkward one armed hug he pushed them back towards their seats.

Bella poured them each a glass of milk, she wasn't quite ready to test their fragile truce yet and waited until she had their attention.

"Don't worry about this morning, brothers and sisters argue and get on each others nerves, its normal ok." Harry and Hermione glanced at each other before nodding. "The more time you spend together the more you might irritate each other, when it happens again, and it will, we want you to put some distance between yourselves. I don't want another arguement at the table because if it happens again you'll both be in a time out. Understand." The two brown heads nodded again taking in the seriousness of her words. "Now eat before it goes cold."

As they were clearing the table Hermione remembered her conversation with Harry, she guessed that he wouldn't ask himself without some encouragement. So as she waited for Uncle Severus to pass his cutlery over she announced, "Harrys got something he wants to ask you, don't you Harry." It wasn't a question more of a statement.

Harry couldn't believe she'd dropped him in it like that, now he could either pretend he didn't know what she was talking about and make her look silly, which didn't seem fair when she was only trying to help or he could try asking, the worst that could happen was them saying no and then he'd be no worse off than he was now. Grabbing his courage with both hands he left the dirty plates in the sink and headed back to the table. He decided to talk mainly to Aunty Bella as her smiling face gave a bigger feeling of hope than Uncle Sevs blank one. He twisted his hands together in the bottom of his t-shirt.

"I need to do some muggle stuff so I can write my holiday diary for school." Then he looked at the ground in embarressment.

He felt one of Aunty Bellas soft hands rest on his fidgitting hands and the other lifted his chin so he had to look at her.

"What do you mean by muggle stuff ?" She was still smiling which Harry thought was a good sign but he couldn't answer her, this was his problem he didn't know what was normal. He twisted around to look helplessly at Hermione.

"He means days out and trips that he can write about. I've done them before for school, you put photos in of places you've been or do drawings of what you've done to go with your diary entries. I've got a camera but we need places to go and we thought that maybe you could take us somewhere thats not magical. Harry wants to do well at school but he thought you'd be cross if he asked for help."

Harry gave Hermione a grateful smile and at that moment he was very glad he had a sister who was a little bit older and able to say things in a better way than he could.

Bella glanced at her husband, he hadn't said anything throughout the conversation and as usual his face was unreadable. She spotted the tinest nod of his head and smiled.

She gestured for Hermione to come and stand in front of her with Harry. "Hermione you've just done a very nice thing for Harry and we're very proud that you've just acted how a sister would have. Neither of you should ever be worried about asking us for anything, we're your guardians and we're here to look after you. Sometimes the answer will be no and if it is we will always give you a reason but I don't see why we can't plan some trips this holiday to do as a family." She was rewarded with huge smiles from both of them. "Nothing extravagent, just day trips or things nearby that we can do together. Why don't you get together and make a list of things you'd both like to do and then we'll discuss them at dinner and make some plans." It was then Bellas turn to find herself with arms full of grateful children.

After lunch they took a notepad and pen and settled themselves at the patio table in the garden unaware of the gathering clouds.

"Thanks 'Mione." Harry muttered as they sat down, he was so unused to people doing things for him that Hermiones simple action seemed the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him.

But to Hermione it was nothing and she couldn't quite understand Harrys embarrassed gratitude so she shrugged it off "Its ok, so what do you want to do?"

Again Harry was stumped, Aunty Bella had said nothing too over the top and as he imagined anything the Dursleys had done for Dudley would be considered as such he dismissed them. As picking Hermiones brains had worked so far, he decided to try again.

"Why don't you tell me what you've done before."

"Alright, well we usually went to France for two weeks but I don't think Aunty Bella meant that sort of thing. We've been to museums and art galleries, done tours around churches and castles." As Hermione started telling him about all the things she'd seen with her parents Harry tried to look interested but he had really hoped for something a little less boring. He'd only ever been allowed to go on one school trip while he lived with his relatives and that was only because his teacher had made a big deal about it being important for the project they were all doing in class. It had been to a big museum and he was really looking forward to it because history was his favourite lesson and even though Aunt Petunia had fed him alot less for a couple of weeks to make up for the money it was costing her to send him nothing could dampen his enthusiasum. That was until he got there, it had all been a big disappointment everything was behind glass and the tour guide was really dull, hurrying past the interesting things, not answering any questions and always telling them to be quiet. Harry was trying to think of something to say to stop Hermione before she got into full lecture mode when the heavens opened and rain came pouring down.

In the short amount of time it took for them to race back inside they were both soaked to the skin. As they dripped all over the kitchen floor Bella performed a quick drying spell to stop them trekking wet footprints through the house before sending them upstairs to get changed.

The pair were starting to experience a little bit of cabin fever after spending the past few days following the funeral bound to the house, they really wanted to go for a bike ride or play catch in the nearby fields but the rain seemed set for the rest of the day. Bella had decided that this rainy afternoon was the perfect time for her husband to spend time with the children alone, something he'd so far managed to avoid doing. Under the pretense of running some errands in town she settled Harry and Hermione in the lounge with large plump floor cushions, healthy snacks and another notepad. She kissed her husband and children goodbye and ignoring the apprehensive look on Snapes face left for a much needed coffee break and gossip with Poppy and Minervra.

Deciding that if he sat in his reading nook in the same room as them he was fulfilling Bellas criteria, Snape settled down with a complex potions journal and effectively blocked their childish voices out just as he did at Hogwarts.

Unfortunately their frustration with being couped up in the house made their earlier arguement resurface, Hermione didn't want to listen to any of Harrys suggestions and Harry really wanted to be the one writing as it was for his homework.

Snape only became aware of the altercation when it started to get physical, a stray flying grape connected with his bent head as he made copious notes on a roll of parchment and as he raised his head to find out what on earth was going on he tuned into the squabbling voices and narrowly avoided being hit by a sofa cushion that Harry had launched at Hermione.

Slamming his research book down with a bang he effectively got the childrens attention. Wide eyed they followed his progress from the little snug into the main part of the room. Clutching the missile in his hand he stalked a circle around the two little bodies that laid prone on their stomachs propped up with cushions and came to crouch between them.

"Given your earlier behaviour and the very vulnerable position of your upturned bottoms ..." He paused for a second allowing his threat to sink in and couldn't help but smirk when almost simulatanioulsy both reached to cover their rears. "...I would recommend you put aside your differences and create your list before I decide what interesting muggle things will fill your holidays!"

Hermione visably paled and Harry gulped.

Deciding he needed to keep a closer eye on his charges, Snape took his book and settled on the sofa nearest to their little nest. "I suggest Mr Potter that you return the pencil to your sister so that she can write and Miss Granger it would be adviseable to not to boss your brother around." Bella had drilled into him that they needed to refer to the two of them as siblings as often as possible to cement the idea in their own heads and now seemed a good a time as any for him to start.

That evening after much debate they finally had a list of activities on which the whole household was agreed. Much to Harrys delight his Godfather had vetoed Hermiones idea of visiting a castle stating that he lived for the majority of the year in a haunted magical castle and as such had no desire to pay to visit a ruined muggle version but at Hermiones crestfallen expression he did relent a little and agree that if she was so desperate to see a castle they could explore Hogwarts before the students returned in the autumn. And everyone had been surprised when he'd readily agreed to a day at the seaside until he had explained about the magical properties of seaweed being so much stronger when freshly harvested.

That evening when his wife and the children had gone to bed instead of heading down to his lab or study as was his usual practice Snape poured himself a generous measure of fire whiskey and ventured out onto the covered porch overlooking the gardens and open countryside beyond. For a long time took small sips of the warming alcohol as he watched the rain continue to fall. After examining his feelings he was confused, not a position he was comfortable with his, his life and by extension his thoughts had always been black or white or maybe more appropriately light and dark. Time with Lily had been light, time with his family, first his parents and then his Grandfather had been dark. His time as death eater was dark and his marriage to Bella was light. There were the times during his years as a spy when he'd been on the side of the light but still needed to be dark. Even then there was no confusion all he had to do was picture his Lily. But this was so strange he felt like he'd been hit by the Hogwarts Express numerous times. Looking back over the day he could pinpoint the moment the confusion had occurred. The precise moment. They'd hugged him, no, thrown themselves into his arms. Not out of some sleepy need for comfort or desperate fear of something but because they thought they'd upset him. Things like this didn't happen to Snape, students constantly covered him in exploding potions and no one cared about his safety, Dumbledore had placed him in constant danger all for the greater good and his mother had expected him to protect her from his fathers violent rages even though he later learned it should have been the other way around. The hugs had changed things and Snape didn't know what to do with it, this wasn't how things were supposed to be. Bella was the hands on parent, he was just supposed to be on the sidelines not getting involved. So how had he come to agree to 'family' trips, whole days away from his research in exposed muggle places where he'd have to pretend to be someone other then Severus Snape, former death eater, spy and hated potions master. He knew how to be these things. People would see him as just another family man, a husband and father. A little voice inside his head which sounded suspiciously like Lilys asked if that would be so bad. But what did he know about these new roles he was expected to fill, yes he'd been Bellas husband for a couple of years but he knew he wasn't truely that, they only lived together for a very short time each year and as for being a parental figure, well anyone who knew about his own childhood would know he had no idea what was expected. 'At least you know what not to do." There was that voice inside his head again.

With a groan he threw back the rest of the amber liquid and glared up at the stars.

"What have you done to me Lily Evans?" He whispered. "I was fine with my solitary life then your double walks into it and demands we marry. Then your eyes in Potters body moves into my house quickly followed by this muggle born and suddenly I have a family. I was not meant to have a family Lily, I do not deserve a moments contentment. I am living the life I took from you. They deserve better."

"So did you Severus. Give them what I can't." The words came back audibly, Lilys voice whispered on the wind as a bright star twinkled.

A feeling of peace washed over Snape and with a wave of his wand a silver doe burst from the end straight towards the twinkling star. A moment later a similar doe appeared, "I forgive you Severus Snape." This time Lilys voice was strong, full of the warmth and life he'd so loved before that fateful day when he'd thrown it all away. It was like a dam bursting inside his chest, a bitter sweet moment, he'd finally heard the words he'd been so desperate for but it was too late to change anything. He had known she trusted him again when she asked him to protect her son after he'd confessed his sins but forgiveness was more than he had ever hoped for.

Maybe things weren't so confusing after all he considered as he headed to bed.

Snape woke the following morning to hear the rain still tapping against the windows, even in his sleep fogged brain he recognised instantly that something was wrong. He felt trapped. Unusually he was lying on his back instead of on his side which meant he was wandless, unprotected. Without opening his eyes he tried to make sense of what he was experiencing. Both his arms were trapped by quite heavy objects but apart from the weight of the quilt his legs seemed to be unristricted, something sharp was digging in his ribs on one side and and strangely something seemed to be tickling his cheek on the other side. It felt like his own bed and when he smelt the scent of his usual morning coffee drifting towards him he made a calculated decision to open his eyes.

Bella couldn't help but smile at the scene before her as she stood in the doorway to her bedroom holding a tray filled with a mug of coffe and glasses of juice for the children. She'd known the moment Severus woke and enjoyed watching the play of emotions cross his face as he tried to analyise the situation before finally opening his eyes.

It was alot worse than he'd possibiliy imagined, on his left curled into his side in a monsterous pair of pink pajamas was Hermione her bushy hair fanned across the pillow which explained the tickling sensation. Which meant, he closed his eyes briefly before glancing down to his right where his suspicions were confirmed, the something sharp was Harrys elbow. As both children were still asleep it gave him a moment to cast his mind back to remember how this impossible situation had occurred and then small parts came flooding back to him. The storm during the night was to blame. A deep noise escaped from his throat, a cross between a growl and groan and much to his annoyance he heard a soft giggle coming from his wife. He knew his glare was much more impressive first thing in the morning but when he levelled one at her she just giggled even more.

Placing the tray on the dressing table she pressed her finger to her lips and then pointed to the sleeping children.

Using extreme caution and stealth Snape slowly slipped each arm free and slid out off the end of the bed. Snagging his coffee off the tray he silently pulled his wife from the room before shutting the door.

"I believe they have rooms and beds of their own, what in the name of Merlin are they doing in mine?" It had all been too close for comfort, his sleeve had ridden up in the night and Hermiones head had rested on his shadowy mark, if she'd had opened her eyes she'd of seen the worst of him, his past would no longer be a shady secret.

"Ours Severus."

"What?"

"Our bed not yours."

Really sometimes the woman had no idea of priority. "Ok what were they doing in 'our' bed?"

"Well lets see." She toyed with him for a moment. "There was thunder and lightening, they came running into our room and you sat them on the window seat and told some fascinating tale about Merlins dunderhead students in the sky blowing up potions which caused the bangs and flashing lights and then you showed them how to count between each bang and flash to show how quickly everything would return to normal."

"But Harry wouldn't go back to bed." Snape remembered how Hermione had whispered to him that Harry was scared, he'd gone to Hermiones room first and confessed how the Dursleys had left him out in a storm, he'd taken shelter under a tree and nearly been struck by lightening. "He didn't want to be left alone." Another reason to want to heap bloody vengance on dear old 'Tuney and her whale of a husband.

"So you told them ghost stories."

"They were not ghost stories, they were historical narratives about the spirits that live in Hogwarts castle." Snape protested he did still have a reputation to uphold after all.

"Well I'm not sure who fell asleep first, you or them. But either way it worked!"

Bella knew she'd lost his attention, his eyes had narrowed slightly causing minute lines to form on his brow and his coffee mug sat untouched in his hand.

Snape traced his index finger along his pursed lips as more of the evenings events returned to him. At first they were hazy, like waking up from a dream, but deep down he knew Lilys voice had not been part of some dream just as he knew his wife was now regarding him with a confused frown. "Let them sleep for a while longer, they had a late night." He took a scalding gulp of his coffee to fortify himself. "There is something I need to share with you." Without another word he headed down the stairs and out onto the balcony choosing to mimic the same pose as the night before.

Knowing Severus would not be rushed, most things were done to his timescale or not at all, she silently followed him outside and regarded his silloutte for a moment. Sensing his pensive mood and instinctively knowing this was one of the rare moments when he would accept comfort from her she slipped her arms around his waist and gently rested her head on his broad back while he spoke of last nights events. When he'd finished she felt him tense and she knew he was waiting to be ridiculed. With a small squeeze of reassurance she released her hold and went to stand next to him. With her back against the railings she glanced to the side to look at his profile, his hooked nose prominent, and placed her hand over the top of his. When he raised his dark eyes to meet hers she rewarded him with a dazzling smile.

"Never forget we live in a magical world." Then after a deep kiss she returned to her kitchen, her heart a little lighter.

Snape had no idea how a woman like Bella had come to be such an important part of his life. But he did now know that if Hermione ever again questioned the existance of Heaven his answer may well change.