AN:

Guys, if you're liking the story, please let me know. If you're not liking the story PLEASE let me know, so I know what to improve on. Thank you very much to those who have reviewed so far! That really means a lot! 3 Also, forgive my wonky editing, I'm still getting used to the site.

"Weeping ED"

I didn't know what to do.

They were all rolling on the ground, fighting. Screaming. Double Dee and Eddy yelled at me to help, but I didn't know what to do!

Then I saw the gun lying on the floor. I picked it up.

And I shot.

Everyone turned and looked at me. I had the gun pointed at them. Then Marie fell. Lee looked shocked. May looked like she wanted to cry and opened her mouth, but I shot the gun twice at her and then twice at Lee.

Ring round the rosie.

Double Dee looks at me and then walks up to me, stepping over the bodies. He goes slowly, like he's a bit scared to come near me. I don't put the gun down. I can't. I'm frozen. I just stare at the dead bodies of the Kankers. Double Dee grabs my arm and puts it down. I look at him. He stares at me for a minute and then hugs me close. I hug him back. We don't say anything.

Eddy moans, and me and Double Dee look back at him. He's hurt! Those stupid Kankers stabbed him! Me and Double Dee go over to help him up.

"Are you ok, Eddy?" Double Dee asks quietly.

Eddy looks in front of him a bit at the bodies. He looks dizzy.

"...home," he says. He sounds so tired. "I want to go home..."

Double Dee and I nod. I pick him up and we walk to his house, not saying a word.

When we got to Eddy's house, none of us said anything still. Me and Double Dee just looked at Eddy. He was just laying there on his bed, breathing really hard. I looked at his pants and saw the blood staining them. After a while, Eddy started to get up. He toppled over, but me and Double Dee caught him before he fell.

We hugged each other, but still didn't say anything. We all held each other tightly. So many thoughts went through my head. About everything we went through that day; about everything we went through forever. About how everyone, Kevin, Sarah...even Mommy treated us so bad. I looked at my friends and realized that they were all I had. It was only us. We three Eds.

I started to cry, and I said what was on my mind.

"...I love you guys."

Double Dee looked at me. "I love you too, Ed." he said. He was crying. "You too, Eddy."

"Ed...Double Dee..." Eddy started to cry too. "You guys are everything to me."

We all smiled and held each other.

I heard alarms; getting closer.

And then closer.

Even closer. Until they were right outside.

Then banging. But we didn't care.

They knocked Eddy's door down and threw us to the ground. They handcuffed us and put us all in different cars.

When we got to the police station, everything hit me at once. I felt like a house had been dropped on my head. Everyone was our friend; then they made fun of us. Then the Kankers helped us; then they tried to hurt us (...I think). Then Eddy saved us; then the Kankers had a gun; then Eddy got stabbed. ….then I had the gun; and the Kankers were now dead...

I killed them...

I killed them...

I killed them.

Eddy told us he would make it better. That things would be ok; we just had to do what he said. I had always listened to Eddy, and we were always ok before, right?

Then we went to court. They asked us so many questions. Some of them yelled at us. They made Double Dee cry. I didn't understand a lot of what was being said. I didn't understand anything really. I didn't understand why everyone hurt me and Double Dee. I didn't understand why the Kankers wanted to hurt us. I didn't understand why we were in trouble. The good guys never got in trouble when they killed the bad guys in the comics and movies. So why were we? But me and Double Dee did what Eddy told us to. We told them that he was the one who killed the Kanker sisters. Not me.

Then we got to the verdict. The judge called my name first. He said a bunch of stuff I only caught bits of, but when he was done, Double Dee squeezed my hand and looked up at me. He was smiling, but he still looked sad. Our lawyer whispered to me that I wasn't in trouble. I smiled. Maybe things would work out after all! Good always triumphs over evil!

Then they called Double Dee's name. He said a bunch of stuff...something about it being cold for 18 months? Double Dee looked down and started crying. Then they called Eddy... I still couldn't understand much, but one word I could understand perfectly.

Death.

They walked us out of the courtroom and took the handcuffs off of me. The lawyer walked me to my parents. Sarah was crying. Mom looked mad. And Dad...I couldn't really tell how he looked. But, it didn't matter. I turned around and Double Dee and Eddy were still handcuffed and they were walking them outside. I walked after them.

I walked, then I ran. I heard someone calling me, but I didn't care!

Out of the door, I ran. So many lights were flashing in my face and people were all around me, shouting. I felt like I was in the Zone of Lost Souls from It Came From the Beyond 3. But, I pushed past them. I had to get to my friends. I felt someone grab me. They were saying something and I realized it was Dad. But, I kept trying to go. I screamed out to Double Dee and Eddy. Then, I felt more people grab me and then I could barely move.

Why are they doing this?! Why are they taking my close friends away?! Why are we being punished?! Why is everyone holding me back from saving them?!

They start putting Eddy and Double Dee in the police cars. I try even harder to get to them. Why is everyone trying to stop me?! Why won't they let me save them?! Don't they understand?! They're going to KILL Eddy!

The cars drive off, and I finally stop fighting.

….why does everyone hate us?

"Come on, Ed..." I hear Dad whisper to me. Then I heard Mom huff and felt myself being rushed to the car. My body feels light. Like I don't weigh anything, so I just let them take me.

When we get in the car, mom starts yelling. I think she was mad at me, but I don't know why. But for the first time ever, I don't care. I just stare out of the window.

When we get home, I go straight to my room. Sarah stops me. I look at her and she backs off. I don't want to talk to her. I don't even want to see her. So, I go to my room and just sit on my bed. I don't move. I feel like No Body Man. I feel like nothing is real right now. Like I'm not really here. Nothing makes sense. But, I feel like I can barely think at all. I think someone came in, but I don't care.

I look over at a pile of stuff sitting next my bed. I see something white sticking out from the middle of it. I reach over and pull it out, making the stuff spill everywhere. I look at it. It's a picture of me, Eddy and Double Dee at Eddy's 13th birthday party. It was just us three in the picture, but it had just been us three at the party. I didn't care though. Parties were always fun...or at least I used to think that. I just sat there staring at us and start to cry. I don't move for a really long time. Looking at the picture, I know that we would never be three again.

I hug the picture to me and lay down on my bed. I feel cold.

I woke up in the middle of the night, the picture still in my hand. I thought I had heard a noise. I looked around my room and didn't see anything. I got up to look around and walked as far as my door, but I still didn't see anything. Then I turned around and it happened for the first time.

I stayed in my room for the rest of the week. Mom came in a couple of times and yelled at me. She said I needed to eat, but I just didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want to eat anything either really. Besides if I got hungry, I could always find something in my room to eat.

When school started back, I still didn't want to see anyone. But, I felt so alone too. At lunch, Nazz and Rolf tried to get me to sit with them. I just walked away and sat with me. I didn't want to sit with any of them. I was...scared.

Rolf and Nazz were nice and acted like they wanted to be friends, but so did everyone else. Then they yelled and made fun of us... I didn't want that to happen again. Plus, I was by myself and I didn't know if I could deal with that alone. ….I didn't know if I could deal with being alone at all.

So, I would just walk to school, go to class and try to learn (it was so hard though...), eat my lunch by myself, and then go back home again.

A couple of times, Rolf let me come by his farm to play with his chickens and other animals. Even though I was a bit scared, I liked going over there. Rolf usually did work while I was there, so it was just me and my little furry friends. I liked having someone to talk to again, and the animals didn't hate me like everyone at home did.

One day on the way home, I heard a voice behind me.

"H- hey, Ed..." I turned around and looked at Jonny, but I didn't say anything. "Um...d- do you want to come to my house? Just to hang out...or something?" It seemed like he couldn't look at me. He looked like he was scared of something. "I mean...I understand if ya don't want to, but...if...I mean...you can come...if you want..."

I thought about it for a minute.

"Ok, Jonny," I answer.

He just said, "ok" and we walked to his house. Neither of us said anything on the way.

When we got there, Jonny turned on The Beatles and just sat down on the floor. He had his knees to his chest. I just looked at him. Jonny looked so bad lately. He didn't talk to anyone at school and he always looked nervous like everyone around him was a monster. He finally looked at me...sorta...

"Are you lonely, Ed?"

"Huh?"

"Are you lonely? ….without Eddy and Double Dee I mean..."

I felt bad as I thought about my pals. "Yeah..." Jonny just nods at me.

"I'm lonely too...without Plank."

"Is he still lost?"

"Y- yeah... But even if he wasn't, I...I can't be friends with him anymore." He looks really sad again. "He...he didn't make me do what I did, but...Plank...Plank made me do bad things sometimes...a lot of times. 'Specially to you guys...And...he was happy about what I did to you and Double Dee. I...I can't be friends with him anymore" he starts crying a little bit. "But, I'm so alone..."

Jonny's words tumbled around in my head.

"...I miss Plank too...," says I.

Jonny raises his eyebrow at me. "W- why, Ed? I mean...why would you miss Plank when he was such a meanie?"

I think about Plank...and I think back to the good ol' days. Those summers when me, Eddy, and Double Dee would hang out and do scams and watch monster movie marathons and make giant pancakes and...

"...he reminds me of happy times..."

Jonny looked like he was thinking and then he nodded and said "Yeah...I know what you mean..."

I smiled at Jonny. He smiled back. We hung out until dark, but then I had to go home before Mom got mad. As I was leaving, Jonny stopped me.

"Uhm...you can come here whenever you want, Ed. If you ever feel lonely or...want to hang out or something." He laughs a little as he holds on to the door, almost like he's hiding behind it from something outside. "It's fun to hang with you, and I don't feel so alone." I smile at him.

"Thanks, Jonny."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Do you understand, Ed?"

I look up from my drawing to look at the woman sitting in the desk in front of me. "What?" says I. Mom groans and holds her head. I think she has a headache.

The doctor just smiles at me. She's really nice. I like her. "I was saying that your friend hurt those three girls. They won't be able to live their lives. They'll never get to grow up, or get married, or have kids. Also, their mother is sad and alone now. That's why your friends had to go to jail. Because you have to be punished when you do bad things."

I thought about it. "But...the Kankers did bad stuff."

"But that doesn't mean you're supposed to kill them."

"But, they're going to kill Eddy...he won't have the chance to grow up either!"

"Ugh! It's not the same, Edward!" Mom yells at me.

The doctor tries to talk, but I turned and asked mom how. She just rolled her eyes at me.

"Can we get on with this?" Mom said and looked at her watch.

"I'm sorry, are you in a hurry?" the doctor asked.

"Yes. I DO have another child. One who is expecting me to be at her ballet recital."

"Well, if you need to leave, you can always go and come back and pick Ed up."

I thought she would like that, but Mommy didn't look happy with what she said. "Why? So you can write down what a horrible mother I am?"

"Don't be silly. We have plenty of parents drop their kids off and pick them up later."

Mom just laughs, but she doesn't smile. "How much longer are we going to have to do this?"

"Well, your session is over in-"

"No," Mom says. "How much longer are we going to have to do THIS? Coming here."

The doctor looks like she doesn't understand Mom. "Are you not satisfied with your son's therapy?"

"Satisfied?!" Mom scoffs and rolls her eyes. "I thought this place was supposed to help him start behaving normally. What are you DOING exactly besides telling him things that I've been telling him for years?! Have you made him any smarter? Have you stopped him from eating literally everything in sight? Have you stopped him drawing like he's a goddamned psychopath?!" She snatches my paper from me as I'm still drawing. "For God's sake, LOOK at this!"

My therapist looks at the paper and then at me.

"Ed," she asks. "Can you tell me what this is?"

I feel bad all of a sudden. I didn't mean to draw anything bad. It was just a picture of the seven-toed half-man~half prune from "Attack of the Genetically Modified Fruitpeople From Planet Hollaindaise". I told her this.

Mom rolled her eyes again. "And he draws stuff like this ALL of the time. THIS is actually tame."

The therapist nods and asks me if I've ever talked to him. I told her no. ….he wasn't real, afterall.

She just nods. "This is actually really good, Edward."

I smile at her, but mom groans. The doctor then turns back to Mom.

"You said he eats everything in sight. Do you think he has an eating disorder or-"

"Well, he has SOMETHING!" Mom says. "When I say eating everything in sight, I do mean everything. Dog treats. Pencils. Plastic. Hell! He's even tried to eat bricks a couple of times!"

The doctor stares at mom for a minute and then writes something down in her notebook. "I see... Well, it's definitely something we'll look more into in the future."

"Fantastic!" mommy throws her hands up. "Can I go now?" The doctor nods and mom stands straight up.

"Let's go, Edward," she says as she walks out of the door.

I get up. I feel sad. I really like my therapist and I wanted her to like me too, but I guess I'm just a bad Ed...

"I'll see you later, Edward." I looked up at her and she was smiling. She handed me my drawing back. "It really is REALLY good. You're very talented!"

I smile at her and then run to catch up with Mommy.

I'm glad she doesn't hate me too.

The next couple of times I see the therapist, Mom really does leave me and takes Sarah to practice. While I was there, she let me draw some more and she asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. Eddy always said he had plans to be a "big shot" and I always helped Eddy with his plans (even though I don't think Mommy would like me playing with guns). I told my therapist this and she looked sad for a minute. She told me again that Eddy was in jail and I said I knew that and just kept on drawing. It made me feel really bad when I thought about it...so I tried not to, even though most of the time it didn't work. She asked me if I had any other plans and I told her no. She then asked me about school, what it was like living at home, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I always had to rush out though. Mommy got upset when I stayed longer than I was supposed to. She didn't seem to like going there or like my doctor, even though she was nice.

One day when she came, the doctor stopped her and handed her a piece of paper. Mom looked at it then looked at the doctor with such a mean look I think it even made her scared. I thought she was going to start yelling, but she narrowed her eyes and whispered, "You are so lucky that it's court ordered that we come here..." She then turned around and told me in a soft, but scary voice to hurry up to the car. When we got there and started driving away, Mom took one more look at the paper and then balled it up. She then looked at me with that really scary look that always makes me feel like she wishes I was dead. (Sometimes, I think she does.) She said "Well, aren't you special?" and threw the paper at me. It didn't hurt, but I wondered what I did wrong this time. I wondered what was on the paper, but I didn't look because I didn't want to make Mom any more upset.

One weird day, Dad walked up to get me when I was at the check out window with the therapist. He looked bored and tired like he always did.

"Is he done?" Dad says to the doctor.

"Um...yes he is. Are you the father?"
"Yes. Ed, let's go. Your mother's at Sarah's ballet thing. She's already...sad that we aren't there to support her." Dad tries to hurry me out, but the therapist tells him to wait. Dad sighs and turns around to her with a "What?" face.

She hands him a piece of paper. "I mentioned this school to your wife once. I think Ed would really benefit from-"

"Look, lady. That's really nice, but we can't afford to pay for some hoitey-toitey school. Thank you."

"Uh- but! Ed might qualify for some scholarships! There ARE ways. Here. This paper has information on it." I watch them as the doctor hands my dad the paper.

"Great...the wife'll love this..." Dad sighs again.

"Well...at least consider it?"

Dad nods, but doesn't look like he cares. "Right. Let's go, Ed." And then we leave. In the car, Dad looks at the paper again and groans. I thought he would ball it up and throw it at me like Mommy did, but he just stuffs it on the dashboard, then we drive off to watch Sarah dance.

Mommy had a party for Eddy's mommy. I stayed in my room. I didn't like parties anymore. Well, I tried to anyway, but Mom came and said that Eddy's mom wanted to see. I went, even though I didn't really want to. I liked Eddy's mom, though, and she liked me.

When I saw her, I didn't even want to look at her. I felt so terrible. But, she held out her arms and I just ran over and hugged her. I cried...I wanted her to know how sorry I was. I didn't want Eddy to die! She just rubbed my back and said that it wasn't my fault...

But it was! It was all my fault! If I hadn't shot the Kankers...

I just wanted to help...

And now Eddy was going to die because I messed up.

I always mess things up...

I went to bed before everyone left. I just didn't want to be around everyone. Jimmy, Sarah, and Kevin were there. They made me nervous. And...I was mad at them. They really hurt me and Double Dee, and they wanted to hurt Eddy too.

I went to bed, holding the picture of me, Eddy, and Double Dee. I held it every night.

I missed them SO much and I felt like I had a hole in my body. I wish I was there with them.

I had woke up in the middle of the night and when I opened my eyes, Dad was standing next to the bed staring at me. I jumped up.

"I didn't do it!" said I. I didn't know what Sarah told him I did this time, but she was fibbing!

Dad just looked at me and sighed. "Shit, Ed...when do you ever do anything?" I didn't move or say anything. "Relax. I'm just here to talk."

"...ok..."

Dad had never talked to me before. Not like Eddy's dad talked to him sometimes.

He sat down at the foot of my bed and just stared at me, holding his face like he was thinking. I just stared at him too. I did not know what to say. Dad scared me a little. Not as much as Mommy, but I still didn't want to get in trouble. He's the one that used to punish me when I got in trouble.

In his other hand he had a bottle of gin. He drank out of it once or twice. After a while, he held it out for me to take. I looked at it and shook my head.

"Mommy said I'm not supposed to drink beer and stuff." Dad just kind of rolled his eyes.

"Well, I'M the one giving it you. She's not going to know, and if she somehow finds out, I'll tell her I gave it to you. You're not going to get in trouble." He handed the bottle over to me again.

I took it this time and took a small drink. It burned going down. I think I made a face because Dad started laughing at me before taking the bottle back.

"Good stuff, eh?" he said and then drank some more himself.

I stuck my tongue out. "It tastes like the alcohol that's in the bathroom." I tried it before and Double Dee yelled at me for doing it. It was kinda funny...

He just shrugged. "People don't exactly drink alcohol for the taste, Ed." He took another drink and then passed it to me. I took another bigger gulp and my head spun a bit and I coughed. I handed it back to Dad. He was back staring at me again. I played with my fingers. This felt weird.

"Ed, you happy here?" I looked at Dad with confusion. "Here at home I mean... You like being here?"

I was really surprised... Dad had never asked me that before. No one had ever asked me if I was happy before.

But, I didn't want to answer. I looked down and started playing with my fingers again. "I guess..."

He was quiet, then he sighed. "Look, Ed, you're not in trouble. You're not going to get in trouble. You can tell me the truth."

'The truth'...

I didn't tell the truth about the Kanker sisters and now Eddy was going to die. …..maybe it is better to tell the truth. So I did.

"...I... I get in trouble a lot...and...everyone hates me..." I looked up at Dad and he's looking at me. He looked...really sad.

"Everyone... Does that mean me too? You think I hate you, Ed?"

I didn't answer him. He groans and runs her hand across his face.

"Aww...shit, Ed! I don't hate you!"

My eyes grow big (because he doesn't hate me and he just cursed).

"You...you don't?"

"Fuck no! I..." he shakes his head. "I don't know... I just...I don't know what to do with you, you know? You were always just...in your own world; like you were on another planet all the time. And..." he sighed. "After your sister was born, I just...I just kind of disconnected from life in general. ….disconnect. You know what I mean?" he looks at me. I think I know what he means so I nod.

"I don't think your sister hates you either."

I sniffled a little. "...she said she did. Then at the party, she..."

"She's a child, Ed. An angry little vindictive child, but a child none the less, and you can't take what she says to heart, ok? She'll grow up." He put his hand on my shoulder and I just nodded.

"As for your mom, well...she hates me too sometimes."

"Really?" I look at him, surprised. "But why? Why does Mommy hate us so much?"

He takes another drink and then rubs his head before holding it in his hands again. He then sighs. (He does that a lot.)

"Your mom is the kind of person where...she wants everything and everyone to fit in this pretty little box," he moves his hands together in a weird way that I think is supposed to be a box? "And when they don't, well...she gets mad. You get me?"

He looks at me again and I nod.

"She just...wants everything to be this picture perfect situation, and life just isn't perfect. In fact, it's pretty damn shitty... I'm sure you know that now..." another drink. "But you can't hate her for it, ok?"

It confused me, so I asked Dad, "Why not? Why can she hate us and we can't hate her?"

"Cause that's just how women work, Ed... But, no," he looks at me. "I don't hate you." I listen to everything he tells me, and then I smile.

"I'm glad you don't hate me..."

"Of course I don't. You're strange for sure, but you're a good kid. Hell, your sister's a good kid too when she's not screeching all over the house like your mother..." he takes another drink.

"...Ed, if you're unhappy here, you should just leave." I looked up quickly at him, and he waved his arms and shook his head. "Not saying I WANT you to leave, but...life's too short and shitty for you to be unhappy. Your therapist mentioned some school or something that could help you. If you've got a chance to be happy, you should take it." I think I remember her saying something about a school the day Dad picked me up, but I wasn't really paying attention.

I nod my head slowly and think about it. Then another question pops into the microwave in my brain.

"Are...are you happy, Dad?"

Dad stares at the wall a bit before snickering and taking another drink. "Doesn't matter... My time to be happy is over. I'm alive." He smiled, but I felt really bad for him.

We spend a big chunk of the night just talking. He told me he had wanted me to run the car lot when I was older and asked if I wanted to learn. I told him no and thought he would be mad, but he just shrugged. He asked me what I liked to do and I told him that I liked to draw. I even showed him some of my pictures. He said they were weird, but he liked them. I always thought he hated them like Mommy did. So, that made me really happy! I started falling asleep and Dad decided to leave. On his way out, I called him.

"Hey, Dad!" He turns his head to look at me and I smile a little bit. "I'm...I'm glad you talked to me." He stared at me for a bit before a cracking a crooked smile of his own.

"Yeah. Me too. …..it was nice to meet you, Ed." And then he left. I just look after him trying to figure out what he meant. He met me when I was a baby.

Dad's a little weird...

After what seems like forever, Double Dee was finally coming home! And more than that, his mommy and daddy actually said I could ride with them to pick him up and stay the night! I sit in the back of their car, and I can barely breathe. After so many months, I can see my Double Dee again!

When we got there, though, it felt like all the breathe I had inside of me rushed out.

Double Dee looked so different now.

Well, he still looked the same. He was as tall as he was when he left and his face hadn't changed. He didn't look beat up or toughened up like a lot of prisoners look when they come home on tv.

But, he just looked different...

We hugged each other when he came out, and I grabbed his hand and held it all the way back to his house. We didn't really say anything to each other on the ride home, at dinner, or even as we watched tv. My mind couldn't let go of how different Double Dee looked, and even talked. He looked like how I felt. Also, that whole night, I felt like something else was missing. Eddy was missing. I thought a lot about Eddy.

That night, I heard Double Dee crying in his bed. I knew he was having a nightmare. He woke up and went to the bathroom.

And it happened again.

When Double Dee got back, I just had to ask him. Why had Eddy lied to us? He said him saying he killed the Kankers would make everything ok. He promised...

I started crying. I didn't want my Eddy to die! Then Double Dee yelled at me. I knew he was sorry, so I forgave him.

….then he told me nothing was alright. That nothing ever would be alright again. I didn't know what to say...but I knew he was right. Eddy was gone. Eddy...was going to be killed. And Double Dee was sad. And Ed was sad.

No...nothing was alright... Why did you lie, Eddy?

When Double Dee finally came back to school, I held his hand the entire day. I just didn't want him to disappear. I didn't want him to get hurt. I was just...scared for him and had to protect him.

Neither he, nor me said anything still. I didn't feel like talking... I didn't even know what I could talk about. Double Dee didn't seem like he wanted to talk either.

That day, he got SO mad. His dark side came forth and he yelled at everyone. I cried when he did. I didn't like Double Dee's dark side. I hate that everyone made him mad enough for it to be summoned. Also...I felt a lot like he did. I was still mad at everyone. I didn't want to see anyone either. ...maybe I have a dark side too?

My therapist and dad brought up me going to that special school again. My therapist said it could give me the proper tools to go far in life. But, I don't need a measuring stick. Dad said I should do things that made me happy. Mom didn't want me to go, which really surprised me. She had always said before that she wished I wasn't there, so I didn't understand why she didn't want me to leave. She and Sarah always said how stupid I was and how they didn't want me around. ….I really did want to go. Maybe it would make them not be so mean. Maybe then they would like me.

I couldn't leave, though. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave Double Dee.

But, then he too said I should go. I REALLY didn't want to leave Double Dee alone... But, he told me that he'd be alright. That it would be the smart thing to do, and Double Dee's super smart and right about everything. So, I said I would go.

The day I left, Double Dee was there with me. We gave each other a big hug. I didn't want to let him go. I wanted him to go with me, but they said it was only for special people. (Who's more special than Double Dee, though?) He again told me he'd be alright though and that I could call him whenever I wanted to check on him.

Mom REALLY didn't want me to leave. She tried really hard to stop me. She yelled and grabbed me. I didn't understand her... And I couldn't look at her, which only made her scream more. I didn't know how to feel. I didn't know if I was sad, or mad, or happy, or what? So I ended up being nothing. Then she started crying and saying weird stuff. When she got done, she spoke to me again, and she said something I knew she would say.

"Fine. If you think you'll be better off without us, then go. But, if you do, you're not welcome back. Ever."

I stopped for a minute. I never wanted to leave forever, but...I really didn't want to live there anymore. Never have, to be truthful. I open the car door and step inside. Before I close the door, Sarah stops me. I hold the door open, but I don't look at her either. She asks me something. I thought hard about it, then I looked her in the eyes...and I told her the truth. I closed the door and then I was off.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

*YAWN*

I wake up and stretch my arms and back. As I do, some comics and all of the drawings I had on and around me fall down and some of it spills to the floor. I scratch my head and walk to the bathroom to start my day.

Today I needed to get everything ready. I have a big day in a couple of days! I'm going to see my baby sister!

It's been so long... I'm kinda nervous.

I go to the kitchen and make myself my favorite breakfast. Buttered toast with gravy. Yum. ...oh! And some eggs. (Double Dee said if I "insist on eating such insufficient meals", that I should eat something else with it.).

After I eat, I head to the bathroom to get ready. I stare at my shower. I still REALLY didn't like them and a lot of times I skipped them (sssh...don't tell my doctor or Double Dee!), but I should probably do it. *sigh* A dirty mouse never paints a barn, I guess. I try to go as quickly as I can though. At least the soap Double Dee bought me doesn't smell all frilly.

I walk to my sink and and use a little mouthwash instead of brushing. Toothpaste is gross. I look at my dripping hair and then at the comb. ...nah. It's fine. I start walking to the other roo- I should probably put on clothes first.

I walk to the other room and glance inside. I need to chase the dust bunnies away so they don't make Sarah sneeze. Looking around, I don't have much to do. The room is already clean...just like Double Dee left it.

When I finally graduated from college, my therapist helped me find job. She also helped me find an apartment in the city near it. Double Dee had always said he wished he could leave the old neighborhood; he said it was painful for him. So, I invited him to stay with me. He said he would love it.

I was so excited I wanted to sing a song! I had always wanted to live with my pals like brothers! We still didn't have an Eddy, but at least Double Dee and I could have fun.

But Double Dee was always mad...

He yelled at me a lot. He yelled at me when he had to help me with something I didn't understand. He yelled at me when I didn't leave things as clean as he liked it. He yelled at me about my pictures of everyone, even the ones with Eddy. …ESPECIALLY the ones with Eddy. I tried really hard to do things right, but I just never can.

…then one day, he got really mad at me. REALLY mad. He yelled at me so much that it looked like he couldn't even breathe. I felt so bad, scared, and my eyes watered a bit. He reminded me of Mommy.

Then...he hit me...

It didn't hurt my face, but my heart hurt a little bit. I looked at him and he looked like he stopped breathing. Then he started crying. He said he was sorry, and I told him it was ok. He said, no, it wasn't. He then turned away and said he had to leave.

I jumped then. I told him not to go, and pouted a little bit at him. It didn't work. He wasn't even looking at me. Just stared at the ground with wide eyes as he moved.

So, I begged with him then. Got on my knees. I cried...for real.

But, nothing would make him stay. I then told him it was alright to hit me; that I didn't care. It was true. Everyone hit me. Mommy. Sarah. Rolf. Even Eddy used to hit me.

He turned and looked at me, and I got a little hopeful that he would stay. He grabbed my shoulder and bent down.

"No, Ed" said Edd. "It's not ok to hit you. Not me, nor anyone else." I tried to talk to him, but he kept going. "Don't worry, Ed," his voice sounded like he was already far away. "We'll always be friends. And I'll still come to visit, but...I just...I can't stay with you. I can't stay with anyone." He then gave me a hug. I didn't hug him back. My tears wouldn't let my body move. Double Dee then got up and left out of the door. I stayed on the floor crying. I knew we would never be three, but now we couldn't even be two?!

When I couldn't cry anymore, I went to my room and took the picture of me, Double Dee, and Eddy and I just sat on my bed and looked at it. I did that until the next morning...

Double Dee came back the next day to pack. But, even after that, he came by everyday. I guess we were still friends. I was happy about that at least.

Then he came by every other day. Then he came by every two or three days. He came by less and less, until one day...he barely came at all.

I cried about it a lot. We still talked on the phone. Double Dee said I could call him whenever I wanted. But, I missed having him around. I hated being the only Ed. Still do.

I finish cleaning and then grab my coat and keys to head to the grocery store to get some food for my sister and her friend to fill their bellies.

When I get all the food I need, I stand in the line. I sing a song in my head while I wait for whoever is in front of me to get done. I hear the cashier tell them their total.

"...oh drat!"

I know that voice! I actually look at the person in front of me this time.

Double Dee stands there digging through his wallet for the rest of the amount. He turns back to the cashier.

"I'm sorry, but I'll have to..." he grabs at a can of vegetables.

"I got it!" says I.

Double Dee turns and looks at me while I pull out my wallet.

"Ed! How are you? ….oh no! You don't have to-"

"It's alright, Double Dee. I want to!" I smile at him.

He smiles back...sorta...

I then pay for my stuff and we head out.

Once we're outside, we hug each other. I haven't seen him in about two months. I ask him how he's been and he just smiles again. It's a weird smile though...almost like it hurts him to do it.

"I've been, Ed. I'm alive. That's all that matters, right?" I look at him. He shaved his head not too long after I left and kept it that way. He also stopped wearing his hat, so now you could always see his scar that he used to hide.

I stare at it. I used to think it was really cool! But, now it just made him look hurt, especially when he was sad.

And Double Dee was always sad...

"But, what about you, Ed? You look healthy! Are you managing your Pica, alright?"

"It's ok..." I pout a bit.

Pica was what my therapist said I had. Well, Double Dee's parents said it first when I tried to eat a spoon at their house. But, then my doctor said I had it too. I don't like to talk about it though...

But, then I start telling him about other things as we put his bags in his car. I tell him about work and the new monster I'm designing. And someone said they'd put a comic I made in a magazine!

Double Dee stays quiet as I tell him, then we finish putting everything up. He looks at the groceries some and then sighs.

"Thanks, Ed. I'll pay you back."

"You don't have to."

He looks at me with a quirk of his mouth. I just look back at him though. There's something I want to tell him, but I don't want him to get upset with me.

"...Sarah and Jimmy are coming over in two days... They're moving in with me." He smiles softly, and it actually looks real this time.

"That's great, Ed. You haven't seen them in years, have you?" I shake my head. He doesn't seem angry about it. I'm glad. "That's wonderful, Ed! You guys can reconnect. ...I suppose it WOULD be nice to see them again."

I look at him quickly. "Will you come then?!"

He raises his eyebrow at me. "What ever do you mean, Ed?"

"When Sarah and Jimmy come, will you come over too? We can hang out. And I'm kind of nervous too. I'll feel better if you're there with me."

"I don't know, Ed. I have to work..."

"It doesn't have to be that day. Just the next time you're off."

He rubbed his arm. "Ed...I..."

"Oh PLEEEASE, Double Dee!" I REALLY want to hang out with Double Dee again! It's been so long. And all four of us together would probably be even more fun!

Double Dee sighs and then looks at me with that slightly crooked smile. "Only if it would make you REALLY happy..."

"YAY!" I hug my pal and he pats my back. "I can't wait! Gotta go! Time flies, but a y dusty fossil lasts forever!"

I run back to my car and put my bags in and drive back home, singing a song out loud this time.

As soon as I get home, I run to get some paper and a pen and I sit down and write Eddy a letter, telling him how excited, but scared I am!

Not long after Mommy's party, Eddy's Mommy came to me and said that she was sending Eddy a letter and asked if I wanted to too. We couldn't see or talk to him, but we did have that.

Of course I did, and I was SO happy when I got a letter back from him. I wish I could've seen him, but this was better than nothing. I told him EVERYTHING, and I sent him a letter once a week; sometimes TWO times! Even after I left home and went to college and got a job, I still wrote to him. It felt great to hear from him at all. He didn't send letters as much as me, but I always checked the mailbox for them.

Eddy also sent me a lot of stuff. He said they wouldn't let him keep anything. I used to draw him pictures of stuff sometimes, but he would always send them back. His brother sent him stuff sometimes too, and Eddy would give them to me. It was so cool to have cool stuff from Eddy's cool brother! He mostly sent him magazines. I didn't look at them; it felt wrong to. But I didn't want to throw them away, so I keep them on a shelf in my closet. I tried to take care of them. Eddy always cared a lot about the stuff his brother gave him, so I wanted to too.

I even got a picture of Eddy's brother! I didn't know who he was at first; they don't look alike. I looked on the back and it just said "Sorry." I always wondered what that meant... I put him on my wall of friends.

I finish the letter and grab a envelope to put it in. I lick and sigh a bit. I wish I could eat it, but the doctor said it was bad...

I lick the stamp, but stop because I hear my door knocking. I stare at the door for a minute and then put the envelope on the table. I get up and blow out a breath. I'm so nervous I can feel myself shaking!

I walk to the door, unlock it, and then open it to see Sarah standing on the other side.

She smiles a bit.

"Hey, Ed," she says, but I can only stare.