A/N: And I'm back with my new chapter. Hope y'all enjoy it! If anyone wants to give me some constructive criticism I'm all for it. As long as you don't go all out and bash my story, I'm good. ^-^
DISCLAIMER: Still don't own Bleach, if I did I would let y'all know.

This had been the first time in a very long time that I thought I was going to throw up. So nervous that my hands were shaking out of control and my body wasn't responding the way I wanted it to. My nerves were starting to make me sweat as I tossed and turned through the night. I hoped that I didn't wake up Momo, I certainly did not want to bring her into this. I couldn't let anyone know what was going through my mind.

"Kira's a distraction to you, that's all I'm saying. If you drop that relationship now it might be better for you." The voice. His face. Both playing over and over again. This was something that could not be pushed from my mind so easily. His words seemed so true. His face actually looked like it cared. But why? DAMNIT! Why?! Renji could say anything to me and no matter what it was I would believe him. He was the first guy I ever knew. The first person to really care for me. He was the first person I felt like I could ever really trust. That guy was the shining star that I couldn't push away no matter how hard I tried.

We were so young, so fragile. Little orphans growing up in a garage dump where we didn't matter to anyone. The first one to offer me a smile, the first one to reach out a caring hand to help me up. I didn't like to talk to others, I didn't even like to look at people. All it took was for someone to be nice to me to break me from that shell. It just so happened to be Renji.

"Hey you!" A strong voice called out and rang painfully in my ears. I jumped back farther into the alley of which I had hidden myself in. I could feel my blue eyes shaking as I stared at the young figure. A small boy with spiky red hair and a lanky build. His hands were on his hips as he awaited for an answer that I had no intention of giving him. "Yeah you," he lifted his finger to point at me. "What are you doing here all alone?"

Tears were filling my eyes. I was so afraid, I didn't want to trust anybody. Not after what I had just gone through. My family was something I would never repeat again to anyone. Though those events sent me into such a fear that my mouth didn't even work anymore. I sank to my knees and let the tears come.

"Whoa!" He shouted and lifted his hands to surrender. "Don't start that. I wasn't trying to be mean." His face was in a frantic as I continued to cry. The last thing I wanted to trust was a male. My father was a thing I wanted to forget, he hurt me in ways that no one could ever imagine. "I just wanted to ask a simple question..."

I held my hands up in front of my face and tried to turn away from him. As I did I could hear him coming closer to me. "I only want to be nice to you." He took another step and I began to crawl deeper into the darkness of the alley. "Don't run away!" He got closer and I finally turned my head to look at him. He was reaching out his hand, as a peace offering.

"Its okay, I'm not going to hurt you." Something inside me started to believe his words. "I'm just like you." Those words finally got to me. How could he be anything like me? "I'm an orphan with no where to go. And judging by the way your acting I'm guessing that's how you are too." He was right. My 'family' was long gone and I never planned on pursuing them. I was a lost and lonely child with no where to go. And who would want me? I simply nodded my head to him.

A bright smile spread across his face. "There you go, you're finally responding to me! If you come with me I'll take you to a place where me and a bunch of other orphans are living. It's not much but its a place for kids like us to find shelter." A few steps more and he was right in front of me. He bent down to look me in the eye, and placed a hand on my out of control, curly, blond hair. "Come along and you can find something to eat there. Maybe a piece of bread or maybe some rock candy!" He announced excitedly, making me giggle. His smile grew as he began to stand up.

"You coming or not?" He outstretched his hand for me once more. This time my hand reached up and placed itself in his warm palm. He grabbed onto my hand and pulled me up. "You're already making progress. Now all I need to know is your name and we'll be good to go." We began to walk out of the alley hand in hand when he asked his questions. My mouth was still failing at making words.

He gave me a confused look as we walked on. "My name is Renji!" His voice was so proud, I wished I could have had half of that confidence. "Your turn..."

I opened my mouth and fell short. I felt so scared, and afraid that he would reject me if I did not answer. So with my other hand I stuck my index finger straight out to the full moon above me.

He followed my finger and then looked back at me with big eyes, making my heart skip a beat. "So is your name Tsukiko, or something?"

All I did was smile at him as big as I could to tell him he was right.

"Yes! One point for Renji!" I giggled and he smiled back down at me. "You know, you have a really cute smile." My heart skipped another beat and I looked at his smiling face and I couldn't hold back anymore. I giggled like I never had before, my stomach was exploding with laughter.

Renji put his other hand behind his head and laughed along with me. Never in my life had there been such a perfect moment. Nothing but laughter and friendship floating around us.

From there we walked on, hand in hand. For what I wished could last forever.

"Tsukiko-chan!" I jumped up from my sleeping position to see a startled Momo. "You're going to fall behind in class if you keep sleeping like this." She put her hands on her hips to show she was serious.

I simply shook my head and wiped the sleep from my eyes. "I'm sorry. I've just been having these really weird dreams lately, making me do a lot of thinking." I sighed slightly and began to pull myself out of bed. "I guess we should be going soon, huh?"

Momo laughed and shook her head at my direction. "Of course. Unless you don't wanna become a Shinigami!"

"Of course I wanna become a Shinigami! Why else would I be here? I can't wait to have my own zanpakutou, and it have its name. And to have a high seat in the Gotei." There could have been stars in my eyes as I talked about one day being a Shinigami. I patted down my bed head to make it look a little bit more reasonable. At that moment I didn't have anything to tie it up with, and I found no need to tie it up. I liked my hair the way it was, and it didn't get in my way at all.

"Well, if you keep slacking off then you wouldn't be able to do all those things." Momo said with giggles in her voice. I shot her a playful glare as I began to slip on my black, ballet-type shoes. One thing I hated about being a Shinigami was the shoes that they wore. I, myself, chose not to ever have to deal with those things. I would always wear my black shoes.

"Just wait, you'll see." I jumped into the air as I finished my preparations then I ran over to a dresser we had in our room and grabbed my notebook and textbook. "Ready?" I asked in excitement.

"More ready than you are!" She giggled once more and I rolled my eyes.

"Aren't you always? If you're so ready than you'll beat me there right?" I asked as I shot out the door. She knew that I was the fastest kid in the whole school, no one could ever beat me at a race.

"Now that isn't fair!" I heard her little voice call after me. I laughed and continued on my run towards the class room.

I made it to the classroom at no time at all, and only one drop of sweat rolled down my face. "All in a good day's run," I said proudly to myself as I rounded the corner into the class. The moment I was around a giant figure blocked my path. "Hey!" I said out loud as I bumped into thie figure. I looked up with an annoyed look on my face to see my worst nightmare.

"You should watch where you're going," He said with a look on his face that seemed to look right through me.

'Maybe you shouldn't stand in front of the doorway like some dumb person," I said as I crossed my arms. I walked passed Renji with my nose held high in the air.

"Maybe you shouldn't act like someone that you're not." I turned in shock at his comment. With the look he gave me now I could tell that he was looking right at me, a glare that shot right into me. I stared at him for a couple moments with nothing to say. Never once has such a thing crossed my mind.

"How am I acting different?" I asked with a confused expression. I was the one who still tried to make decent conversation while he blew me off.

"You run around like your some snob that doesn't know where she came from!"

At that comment my jaw dropped. Where was all this coming from? Some built up rage that has been around for years and he is just now decided to let it out? "I know exactly where I come from!" I stepped closer to him as if I was about to challenge him to a fight. He bent down so he could look me in the eye better. "Excuse me, if I would like to forget it. It wasn't exactly the best place, you know?"

With that a smirk came across his face. So, he was just playing with me? I returned the smirk and waited for him to continue on with our argument. "I do remember. But I don't run around with the popular, high-class, rich kids and act like I am one of them."

I put my hand in front of my mouth as if I was shocked. "Renji-kun! Such a compliment!" A complex look crossed his face. "I never knew that I could carry that demeanor so well. I'm flattered." I put my hand under my tangled hair and poofed it up like a high-class person would. Or so I thought they would. I really knew nothing about rich things. I grew up on the streets, and I wore clothes that Rukia and I stole off tables. Usually I wore the same thing everyday for a couple years. It just so happened that I fell into that type of crowd with Izuru and Momo. It's not like I purposely followed them around; they just became my instant friends.

"Ha! If you're so great at carrying it then why do you look so awkward when your around the crowd?"

"You big, fat..."

"Do you two always fight?" It wasn't till that moment that I realized that Renji and I were face to face screaming at each other. I turned my head to see how had said that and saw Izuru and Momo standing beside each other. It was Izuru that had spoken and looked like this was something that happened all the time. I couldn't deny that we did get into pointless arguments... almost every single day. Renji and I both shrugged our shoulders at the same time and looked in opposite directions.

"I guess Renji wants to be just like me. You know, I can use kidou fairly well for our age," I teased with a little laugh in my voice. I began to make my way towards my desk as I could feel Renji's rage shoot through the roof.

"Why you little..." I started to turn back around with my smirk still on when something interrupted Renji.

"Class is beginning! Please take your seats!" It was the stupid teacher who hated me and Renji's guts. Only because we grew up on the bad side of Rukongai, the teacher thought we didn't deserve to be there with all the other noble kids.

I made my way through the crowd of kids with Izuru hot on my trail. His seat was right next to mine, thanks to a random seating chart. Kira and Senta weren't exactly near each other in the alphabet. I sat my books down in front of the seat that I sat in. "Everything alright?"

I looked up into those blue eyes that matched my own. Such light, such happiness, such innocence. I couldn't help but smile at Izuru. At that moment I couldn't afford to lose his friendship, but Renji's words kept ringing in my ears. If I wanted to succeed as a Shinigami I couldn't have anything hold me behind. Though, Renji was the main thing that held me back from doing what I know I can do. After I had lived with him, by his side, for so many years I just couldn't let him go. I had given him my whole life to protect and he never failed at that task. What he didn't know was that he still held onto it.

"I'm alright. Just woke up a little bit late, that's all," I said and turned my head towards the teacher so I wouldn't get yelled at.

Izuru laughed softly and I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. "You should get a better sleeping schedule. You've been sleeping a lot during class lately. And we all want you to graduate with us." He gave me one of his best smiles that made me have to smile back.

"That's pretty much what Momo told me this morning. Told me I'm going to fall behind if I don't stay awake during class. But I am doing pretty well if I do say so myself," I spoke in an almost whisper with my eyes locked on the teacher. I wasn't in the mood to get in trouble.

"Well, she is right you know?"

I simply nodded. "I know." I had nothing else to say. I wasn't even in the mood to talk to Izuru at that moment. And he was the one that I talked about everything to. Hopefully he didn't notice that fact too. That would truly kill me on the inside if he knew what was going on in my head. Something I was sure I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do.

My eyelids wouldn't stay up no matter how hard I tried. The teacher in front of me was too boring for words. His voice was very monotone and seemed to drag on forever in my head. He read straight from the textbook about the importance of following rules. Like that wasn't already common sense. Through the class period I felt myself falling and then felt in elbow jab my side and I woke to Izuru giving me a worried look. I would sigh and blankly stare at the teacher who I knew had already given me some dirty looks.

"Class dismissed!" The monotone voice called out, "Remember your new partners for today's training session." The teacher sat down at his desk and went to work while I stared in confusion.

I looked up at Izuru. "New partners?"

"Were you not paying attention again?" I looked away with a slight blush on my cheeks and he just laughed. "We have new training partners today. Apparently some people complained about their old ones." I turned my head back towards him; I know I didn't complain. But then again I kind of liked the last training session...

"Oh..." I looked around to see if anyone was going to approach me to say that they were my partner. "Wait," I turned to Izuru and pointed to myself. "Who am I paired with?"

Izuru laughed and pointed to himself. "Me!" He said with such a bright smile that it made me smile too. But when I turned my head to pick up my books and my hair began a veil for a face a frown covered my face. I wasn't sure how I was going to face him after everything that Renji told me the other day. I was already nervous just to think about it. I picked up my books and held them close to my chest and I turned to smile at Izuru.

"Ready to train?"

"Ready when you are." I simply smirked and made my way out of the classroom. I knew Izuru was following me and I secretly wished that I could give him the slip. But we are suppose to train together, he would follow me no matter which way I went. I sighed to myself as I made my way through the crowds of students. Poor Izuru, I really hoped that deep down inside he didn't revere me as high as I thought. We were nothing but friends, right? So there was that little strand of hope that helped me with the bouncing thought in my head. Izuru and I could never be an item, never be anything but the great friends that we were. But if he held so tight to me then our levels of friendship would be uneven. So I had to draw the line very soon.

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Training with Izuru was pretty uneventful. Swing the swords, they hit, step back, and go at it again. When I had trained with Renji we were all over the place. But we knew each other too well, I knew where he would move and he would know my movements. We were constantly trying to fool the other one. We never got anywhere, and that made it a great training session. It gave us both a chance to figure out strategies of how to take the other down. With Izuru I felt like my ability was going no where, except for the fact that it was wore me down.

I began to take heavy gasps for breath. My body wasn't built well to work out in the sun all day. Even though I hated to admit it, my body was a lot more fragile than the most people around. The nurse at the infirmary had said that I probably contracted some disease while living in Rukongai and that it was slowly wearing down my body. There wasn't anything anyone could really do, I probably wouldn't live a full life that normal Shinigami do. I had to go get check ups all the time to see how it was affecting my body each day. Each day there was nothing different. But each time I worked myself harder than I'm suppose to it gets progressively worse. It's not like I'm gonna let it stop me though. I kept on fighting no matter how much my body didn't want to. I was going to get stronger, nothing could stop my determination.

"Tsukiko-chan!" Izuru ran to my side and slipped a hand under my arm and onto my back to support me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tire you out like this..."

"You're not tiring me out," I said between gasps. "It's a hot day and we are standing right in the sunlight." I looked up towards the sky and squinted my eyes at the sun. That damned thing was my worst enemy next to Renji. Renji could be looked at as more of a rival, while the sun just hated me. It's why I always passed out in Rukongai: I had nothing to keep me cool, I was always in the sun. With me being young and extra weak at the time, I had no chance with being out in the sun. As I got stronger from being at the academy, my stamina had gotten better. There were still moments when it became to much for me. Now was one of them.

"Maybe you should take a break." Izuru leaned his face down to get a better look at my face. I kept my eyes locked on the ground at the area away from him. I felt my face getting hot as he got closer.

"I should, shouldn't I?" I peeked up at Izuru to realize that his face was closer than I had excepted. I could tell that his face got the same feeling as mine. His cheeks grew a slight pink along with mine. He leaned closer and I couldn't take it anymore. I took one step back and almost forgot that his hand was still behind my back and it caught me by surprise. My feet stumbled and I rolled right out from his arm. I landed my knees and was grateful that the pants we had to wear were long. "Ow," was all I could say even though I wasn't in pain.

"Tsukiko-chan!" Izuru bent down beside me with worry all over his face. "I didn't mean to do that. I just..."

I laughed and shook my head. "Its alright Izuru-kun. I just lost my footing, its all my fault. No need to stress about it." I smiled at him as my normal, little, cute self that I knew he wouldn't be able to have a frown anymore. He smiled back and let out his hand to help me off the ground.

"AH!" A familiar voice yelped out not to far away.

"Momo-chan?" I asked and looked up towards Izuru who had the same thought as me. We immediately broke out into a run to find out what exactly was wrong. What we found was no surprise at all. Momo stood there holding her wrist complaining about something to her training partner, Renji. Poor Momo had to deal with guy that had to win no matter what it took.

"Uh, if you don't take it seriously then you're not learning. Okay, pay attention this time." Renji's know-it-all attitude irked me as he talked to Momo like he was teaching a child how to walk. It's training for a reason; that jerk could learn a good lesson or two.

"Why not practice against me instead?" I looked up at Izuru's smiling face. I crossed my arms in annoyance for the fact that Izuru didn't want to train with me anymore. Just because I needed a break didn't mean that he had to completely switch partners. I stood beside him glaring the whole time as Renji began to talk.

"You, Izuru?" Renji slung his sword onto his shoulder with a bored look on his face.

"It'll be more of a challenge than us beating up on girls." Izuru continued to talk on like what he just said was nothing too big.

"Oh really?!" I screamed out up at Izuru as Momo continued on what I wanted to say.

"Why don't you come over here and say that pal." Her fists were curled up into fist just as mine. We didn't like to be pushed around just because we were girls. We could kick some ass to if they let us!

"No! No! Thats not what I meant!" Izuru began to shake his hands frantically as he bounced between looking at me and Momo. He wasn't sure which one of us he should comfort, even though he hurt both of our prides.

Suddenly Renji began to slam his fist into Izuru's side. "Stop being so embarrassed!" He punched him repeatedly till he seemed to get his urge to fight back up. And I couldn't help but laugh at how idiotic he was acting. "Ya know, I never thought of you as a sparring partner before. But I suppose it'll be better than nothing." I began to make my way over to Momo, I didn't want to be caught in between to fighting guys. They always took things too far, blew things out of proportion. Stupid men.

"Oh, I think you'll be surprised." With that comment from Izuru they began to spar while I took my seat next to Momo, who was already sitting on a rock. We both watched the guys go at it for a couple minutes. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin against my legs. I watched the way they moved when they fought. They each fought very differently when they fought with me. Izuru was all about taking it easy and Renji acted as if he wanted to kill me. Maybe I should just take Momo as my partner next time. At least she would treat me like her equal and go all out.

"Very good Renji! You have improved," Izuru said as he and Renji came to a stand still with both their swords fighting against the other.

"Thanks. I say your better now yourself." Renji's face was bright because of the new fight. Apparently Izuru was a lot better of an opponent than Momo. They both jumped back at the same time and once that happened something seemed to catch Renji's eye. "Uh. Wait here just a second." Renji took off and I followed his direction to a figure that I knew all to well. Rukia, the girl that had been my best friend for many, many years. The girl that I envied more than anything. "Rukia!" Renji called out her name in such happiness that it made my heart drop.

"What is all this about?" Izuru asked as Momo ran up to his side, while I took a slower approach. I wasn't in the best mood anymore. Any hope I had of being happy was down the drain now.

"We grew up with Rukia." My voice bounced into the conversation and both Momo and Izuru turned to me. I watched Renji smile as he talked to Rukia through my glare. He always seemed to be happier when he talked to her. Maybe because she didn't 'change' like I did. "You can say that there is a special bond that can never be broken." I looked down at the ground and crossed my arms. No matter what happened, us three were connected for life. Even if I wasn't in the mood to talk to either of them. "Come on Izuru-kun. We really aren't suppose to train with others that aren't our partners." I looked up at Renji and Rukia. Renji turned his head slightly to give me a confused look. I guess he heard what I said and could tell that by the tone of my voice that I was annoyed. I really hoped that he heard it at least.

"Uh, oh. Okay." Izuru bowed politely to Momo. "I'll see you later Momo."

"See ya later tonight, Momo-chan!" I said happily as if nothing had happened and I waved my hand and began on my way.

"Okay. Good bye!" Momo bowed to us from what I guessed. I had already stopped caring about anything. All I wanted to do was crawl up into bed and forget everything that had just gone on. Maybe I could forget about Renji entirely... That option shouldn't even enter my brain for I knew that it was impossible. No matter what Renji said or did, he would always be the world to me. A fact that I could never escape.

Izuru followed closely behind me and knew not to say a thing. I wasn't a very happy camper when I was in a bad mood. I crossed my arms and began to go deep into thought. I thought about how this was all going to turn out in the end. Only conclusion I could come to was that it was not a good one.