Alex now got why he'd been placed in the children's hospital. He was being reminded that he was not expected to be tough, make all the decisions and to keep up a front as cool and calm. Treatment for AML was hard core. It was also the rarer form of Leukaemia. It had been Marian who had returned to find him in the middle of his emotional melt down and he really respected her for the fact she had been detached enough to let him get on with it. Just, handing him a tissue and knowing he did not want a hug. She had not offered platitudes, but a cup of water and a cool cloth to wipe his face when he got himself under control. With a soft "You boys, what are you like? I have three sons. Between fifteen and nineteen all three of them were impossible. In trouble, without a decent word to me or their father. Today its the beginning of your journey. What happened before was only preparing you for this fight. All of us here will listen or just be here if you want to stay silent. You know we have all read the fairy tales from social services, because I bet you have not told anyone anything."
"No, I told my friends Tom, James and Sabina. Sabina told her parents. Edward, Sabina's dad, was a good listener. I told him about Jack. You know its only a month since she died. It feels like yesterday and also like a million years since I saw her." Alex smiled, his voice as scratchy as Sabina's had been on the phone early this morning. "I put Jack on a pedestal. She was the one thing I was holding onto like a life line since my life became a nightmare. With her it was normal... OK, when in reality everything wasn't and was never going to be OK because I was being forced to do things… er … stuff." Alex then looked up. "Thats all over. I am here and this is what matters. Getting well and fuck everything else. Thats not being selfish, is it?"
"No, you have woken up in the real world."
"OMG, do not quote the Matrix to me again!"
"I like all the Alice In Wonderland metaphors, and Keanu Reeves." The middle aged nurse then winked at Alex. "Ok for the torture to begin, then honey bun"
"No time like the present." Alex said shaking his head. He guessed from now on it would be every sickly sweet pet name the sun from Marian. How could Alex have forgotten, part of training to be a nurse was the twin weapons of gritty sarcasm and gentle leg-pulling.
The ward had seventeen beds. Kids aged from three to seventeen were being treated. He was the second oldest on the ward this week. The eldest was Colin, who had ALL, and was in his third year of chemo. There were several really sick younger kids, some having aggressive chemo to kill their bone marrow in advance of a transplant. It was a wake up call. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, its a level playing field except it wasn't. It was horrible listening to the kids wail in pain or in pure terror. He at least knew precisely why everything was being done. He could read the fact files or ask relevant questions.
The kids kept yourself amused with craft activities, story time and games. It had been eleven year old Melissa who had asked over a game of Super Mario Cart, "Alex? When are your mummy and daddy coming to visit?"
Alex knew better than to lie. "They aren't. They died when I was a baby. My best friend Sabina and her parents are coming to visit in August sometime. She lives in California. I hope you get to met her, she's the best. At the moment, I live in a children's home, so I get to see everyone there again on Friday. I've been told we're having Domino's pizza to celebrate."
"I like pizza but McDonald's is better." Melissa asked while not missing a trick, still playing.
"Umm, I like Burger King myself. Whopper with cheese and onion rings."
The best surprise was that the food here was OK, a million times better than St. Stephen's. Here they catered for ill, fussy kids. Food was also presented in a fun and appealing way. Alex still missed Jack, he was considered odd because he preferred sandwiches and salads to hot cooked food. As for chips, he preferred the French 'pomme frites' and American 'fries' to the traditional fish and chips. Ian's fault for bringing him up all over Europe with a series of French and Spanish child minders and then an American housekeeper. His one visitor over the week was Cary. She had visited every evening, stating she missed intelligent conversation, even if Alex was a complete bastard and made her stutter and splutter in French for half an hour before relenting and allowing English.
"You should go on an exchange for several weeks. Then you'd be almost fluent. Learn words and pronunciation you should listen to French radio. Maybe watch a few films. I thoroughly recommend reading Lucky Luke."
"I bet thats a comic strip" Cary said drily at Alex's lack of academic prowess.
"Its funny. The horse is more intelligent than the cowboy. Way better than Asterix, but Tintin is OK, I guess."
"Tintin is French?"
"Written by the most famous Belgian himself, Herge."
"How can you be failing school, you know everything." Cary complained. Alex had excellent knowledge of Geography, Languages and Foreign Literature. If he could be arsed, he'd be top in maths and computing. Only last year, he only tried in an effort to please Jack. After Kenya, he did his hours, did the bare minimum in coursework and homework, but his heart was not in school. He had felt like an alien or a zoo exhibit. Stared at, whispered about and ignored. He did not belong and everyone made sure he knew it. He wondered what had changed. Here and at Lockwood, he had stopped wanting to be popular or normal. He was just Alex. Like it or lump it. The staff were lovely, so were the various playworkers and regular visitors. Alex mostly sat and did schoolwork. Redoing work he'd gotten a C for if the teacher was being generous, but now he wanted A's to honour Jack. She had been scary bright. Law degree, working hours providing free legal advice for a charity, while he was at school. He had never wondered on the bills being paid, only he had really known it was his work for the bank had kept them at Cheyne Walk. The threat from Blunt had been a very real one. Alex often wondered if four years at some dingy school for delinquents might have been a better choice. Water under the bridge now. Like Marian had said, this was the real world. The past was not relevant anymore.
The matter of the antidepressants brought the resident psychologist in for a chat. Alex felt different since he'd acknowledged his loss and the fact he had to move on. "Can I just stop taking them, now. I get the grief thing now. I miss Jack. Anger, loss, guilt whatever. I know she's gone, only I'm reminded of her everyday. What I don't get is that she was the housekeeper. I lost Ian, my uncle, last year, then I had a hard dose of reality about him being a complete liar after his funeral. So did that revelation just erase any grief or was it the fact I realised I was completely delusional about my feelings and our actual relationship."
"Wow.. thats a lot to go through. I take it you were responding well to therapy in San Francisco?"
"No, she charged too much and I never got whether I could tell her the truth or not. You are getting the cold hard truth, but I have had an epiphany. The past is the past and this... this is way more scary, than anything before. Even if considering a toss up between those bastards in Cairo." Alex still could not decide who was worse, the Americans or their enemy, Rahzim and his minions."
"You have learned hard lessons, for one so young. I guess you signed the Official Secrets Act."
"Yeah, stupid secrets. I don't believe in patriotism. My uncles fault for dragging me up abroad or should I say letting the staff bring me up."
"So, he was not a great parental figure."
"No. I spent most of my childhood waiting for him to pay me attention and I tried to be a perfect little boy for him. He was basically grooming me to be identical to my dead father. I guess he failed. I'd rather work at McDonalds than join the SAS."
"Oh, your dad was special forces."
"Worse, he graduated from the SAS to be a spy or as I know now a murderer, a liar, an adulterer and an abuser." Just like Ian, just like they wanted him to be
...
Alex felt weird in the taxi going back to Chelsea on Friday afternoon. He kept touching the hard lump concealed beneath his t-shirt , which was the line taped to chest and protected by a large surgical dressing. He still felt tired, but was not sick, nor was his hair falling out, yet. His weekend was him saying a brief goodbye to all at Lockwood. He would be back, he hoped; but nothing was certain now. Next week, someone else would be assigned the first room to the right of the stairs at the front of the house. He doubted anyone would call it Alex's room. He'd spent longer in hotels on vacation than he had here.
He got back and the hall was decorated with a welcome back sign. "OK Mike, I guess you have not told them I'll be at GOSH for six months then?"
"They know. I guess they want to give you some good memories of this place. Cary is organising a proper tea for Sunday. Dainty sandwiches, cakes and my bloody tea."
"Your tea is very nice, but I prefer Earl Grey myself or Gunpowder."
"You almost as bad as me. Come on, you get to decide on toppings on the Dominos order. There's drinks and snacks in the den first. Daniel has probably already eaten all the wotsits by now."
"No loss then. Start him on the Quavers. I like plain salted and BBQ flavour."
"Its a fight with Doug then. He's hogging the bowl of Kettle chips. Go mingle, I'll get you a coke."
Alex's eyes were drooping as he finished his second slice of pepperoni with green peppers and black olives.
"Come on Alex, you look shattered." Mike went upstairs and supervised as Alex cleaned his teeth and then just took off his jeans, socks and trainers, to sleep in his t-shirt and boxers. "Oh, by the way a Macmillan Nurse is coming in in the morning. Something about long term support."
"Sure, OK. Night." Alex said sleepily, not really caring about tomorrow only a good nights sleep.
...
Alex was still as tired in the morning, you never slept right on ward, not that his recurring nightmares helped; but last night he had slept for a decent 12 hours and did not remember any dreams, good or bad. He was still eating cheerios when Mike brought in the nurse, dressed in her smart dark blue uniform. Alex recognised her straight away. "Morning Mrs. Hale."
"Good Morning Alex. Long time no, see. I guess you and James fell out last year."
Alex had forgotten that James Hale's mother was a Paediatric nurse. This unexpected reunion kind of sucked as James, as the most popular guy on the football team and in Alex's year, had been the main instigator of the jibes, the name calling and treating Alex like he only existed to be bullied. It had made last year extremely lonely, frustrating and ultimately caused Alex to truly hate school.
"So, I guess you're here to give the pep talk, on support and positive thinking." Alex had already lived throuhgh that one on the ward so he decided to tell the nurse, just what her son was like, considering she had probably heard Alex was a looser drug addict from James. "Your son spent the last six months bullying me to the point that Jack had to force me to get up in the mornings. I know we used to be friends, but only those who are popular and perfect get to be James' friends. After Ian died, I missed most football practices, took time off school. Failed to integrate with foster parents. Well, Ian was never a proper family, so I guess thats my problem. I know I'm not perfect, I ran away twice and I have just left my last placement because I was ill. Why should your temporary parents get to deal with all this. So my support network consists of me, Jeff my social worker, who is not here and you, I guess. I think you should concentrate on someone who deserves your time. I'll probably just take off on you."
"Alex, I am here for you, in whatever capacity you need. I just live half a mile away as you well know"
"Right, look, I am going into hospital next week for the full six months of intensive treatment, longer if I need a bone marrow transplant. Anyway, I thought you worked at the Middlesex Hospital?"
"I do."
"So I'm out of your remit at Great Ormond Street. Thanks for the visit Mrs. Hale, but I guess this is goodbye"
Alex then stood up and left, going straight out of the house to get some fresh air.
...
Rebecca Hale looked a bit shocked. "I guess I'll have to have words with my son James. I was told Alex was in with a bad lot, not having a bad time dealing with Ian's passing."
Mike smiled "It was a bit of both, I reckon. Alex got involved with some bad people and when that happens you can't get out. It sounded like Jack took him to Egypt for a new start, only it turned into a nightmare. She was killed by a car bomb. Militant terrorists suspected. Alex witnessed it, blames himself for surviving. Has horrific nightmares. He then went to San Francisco with his friend Sabina and got ill. He came back for treatment on his own." Mike then went to pick up the minibus keys. "I better go get Alex. He's not meant to be wondering."
"I'll get him. I might take him home for a quick check of his dressing and a chat, which is the reason I was here anyway."
Alex was only 200yds down the road on the way to the shops, when a blue fiesta pulled up. "Get in Alex. I fancy a cup of coffee and your line needs checking."
The Hale's lived in a mews off the Kings Road, David Hale worked as a executive for British Gas; he had started out as a fitter, married his school sweetheart and had his 2 kids. Rebecca sat Alex down in the kitchen, a room he remembered well from his visits here after school.
Rebecca got her genuine italian coffee pot on the stove and put the milk in the microwave to heat up. "So you ran away last year? Were you on the streets?"
"No, I went looking for some old friends of my dads. It didn't work out well." Alex was thankful of the mug of coffee, Mrs. Hale put in front of him so he did not have to explain further on the events in Venice and Naples.
Rebecca could not fail to see the teenage boy close himself off, too used to no one listening, so why try and explain. "So lets have a look at that dressing. It needs changing every 24hrs, so I'll be by tomorrow to do the same." All business, the nurse opened up her work bag and put on a pair of gloves.
Alex stripped off his t-shirt and let the nurse do her job. She was very gentle dealing with the fresh set of bruises caused by the procedure to insert the line. "All clean, no infection and the clamp is as it should be."
"I got the full spiel from Marian at Great Ormond Street on Monday. Don't touch it. Don't let anyone else touch it. Don't pick at the insertion wound, don't damage it and definitely don't try and remove it. Keep it clean." A large white bandage was again placed to cover the area. "I still can't believe it'll be in for six months."
"Well, some chemo you only have day treatments and all you need is a drip fitting each time. With blood cancer, there is a need for regular transfusions and the likelihood of low blood pressure, with a line fitted, liquids be they saline, plasma or drugs can be transfused with no problems."
At this Alex yawned.
"I'll get you back so you can have a nap. I have four more house calls today."
...
James hated the weekends when his mother worked. Well, not always, only the days his father cooked. He came in after an afternoon spent kicking a football around in the park to smell it was Indian takeaway tonight, his mother's favourite. One she only very occasionally indulged.
He rushed to wash his hands and saw everyone sat down already eating.
"So Becks, whats the occasion?" Dave Hale asked, knowing his wife was fussy allowing the family to eat high fat and high salt take outs.
"Life's too short. Definitely in my latest patient's case. Fifteen and with aggressive leukaemia. Should be getting a bone marrow transplant straightaway, but he's an orphan with no relatives, but enough about work. Were you playing football today, James?"
"Yeah, with Dean and Tom. Same old crew."
"Really. Well, my newest patient lives at Lockwood House. I'll be seeing him again tomorrow."
"Funny, Tom said Rider was back in town and staying at Lockwood. He'll know your patient"
Rebecca ignored her son's statement, keeping her promise to Alex and not to let onto James she had seen him as he could do without the agro, instead the nurse began to ask her daughter, Alicia about her latest Girl Guides trip, which was a weeks camping in mid August. A first for the eleven year old.
...
Mike Harries signed for a large parcel from a courier. The address stated Interpol, Tours, France for Alex Rider.
He opened the packet in his office, read the letter and then called in Alex from his breakfast.
"You have a present from a Derek Smithers"
Alex read the short letter. Smithers saying he was sorry he missed Alex when he had returned to London, but he had left the Royal and General Bank and was now working for Interpol. Then continuing with "I heard about your poor health and school transfer problems from a friend in the Computing Department. I thought I better keep track of you. I will pop in to see you next time I'm in London. I have enclosed a few items to keep you amused in hospital. I'm afraid they are all very boring, standard spec, with none of my usual upgrades."
"Ok. Mike what did Smither's send me? A teddy bear?"
"No, Ipod and Ibook laptop. I wish I had friends like this."
Alex looked at the items, both were second hand, with signs of wear and tear. Accompanied by a grey laptop bag. Alex then looked at Mike. "I guess he got new replacements with his new job. He used to work at Liverpool Street with my uncle. He was very eccentric, but cool."
"So, he's now a cop?"
"No R&D, or Tech division. He's a bloody genius with anything mechanical. He'll be supplying communications and other kit to the investigators there." Alex put the items in their bag before asking a favour of the Head Care worker "Oh, Mike. Can we go to Sainsbury's tis morning? I need toothpaste, and a few other toiletries. I could also do with few more sets of pajamas and another towel. Its so warm on the ward, you sweat like a pig. I already spoke to Marian and I can get my clothes washed in the family support unit, so it means you guys don't have to keep coming to check on me."
"We will be checking up on you. You can always send your dirties back with Cary. She's adamant about continuing your tutorials and the French lessons."
Alex then got the joke. "We speak french, you doofus."
Mike laughed, enjoying the blush on Alex's pale face. It was good to know the kid was not completely jaded.