So, Breaking Dawn in T-minus two days and three hours as of the moment I am typing this. I'm totally dressing up for the release party. Cosplay Twilight! Bwahaha. Ahem. Anyway, thanks for the lovely reviews. You keep me motivated! Enjoy the chapter. :)

Chapter Four: Invitation Only

Kora

I didn't realize I was awake when I first regained consciousness the next morning. I found it strange, and also hard to believe, that I had actually slept peacefully through the night. But, rather than entering awareness screaming and thrashing, I instead was awoken by my mother's gentle shakes, like any other normal teenager.

No dreams, no night terrors. I actually felt a little bit more rested than I had in weeks. Other than that, though, I was pretty much back to normal. Well, not normal, but the normal I'd grown accustomed to over the preceding month. My emotions were reined back in again and safely tucked away in a corner of my chest where they remained inconspicuous.

But still, I couldn't figure out how I'd managed to get away with such a wonderful, dreamless sleep. After the day I'd had, how could I possibly avoid a nightmare? I thought I'd be plagued by the worst visions yet after a breakdown like I'd had. However, I got instead a dead sleep during which my subconscious had put my emotions back where they belonged.

I took a shower after I rolled out of bed, since I hadn't taken one the night before. The hot water felt good after walking through the pouring rain and sleeping in my underwear. It eased a little of the tension in my muscles.

I was halfway through my bowl of Cheerios before I was reminded of Jacob's call.

"So I hear you got a call from a boy last night," Mom said, trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably.

I choked on my mouthful of cereal and gulped down some coffee before replying. "Um, yeah."

She raised her eyebrows at me suggestively. "I also hear he called more than once. He was pretty desperate to get a hold of you."

I shrugged and stared into my bowl. I didn't know what she wanted me to say. It wasn't like I knew what was going on in Jacob Black's head. Mom sat down on the other side of the table and watched me speculatively. I pointedly ignored her. Tim shuffled into the room in his usual polo and khakis and grabbed a protein shake from the fridge. He was on the soccer team, and all about Slim Fast and rice cakes. Taking a swig from the can, he eyed me over the rim of it.

"So who wanted to talk to you so bad, anyway?" he asked, wiping his mouth on his bare arm. "I couldn't talk to Sarah more than five minutes before the call waiting went off."

"Nobody," I replied, flinching. I really didn't want to talk about this.

"Right. "Nobody" called here three times asking for you." He rolled his eyes.

"Mind your own business, Timothy," Aunt Talia said, strolling into the kitchen to save me from further interrogation. Tim just made a face and chugged the rest of his shake.

"I'm leaving if you want a ride," he said, and walked out of the room. I stood, dumped my dishes in the sink, and grabbed my backpack on my way out the front door. I didn't even bother saying goodbye to my mother. Before Dad was killed, she would send me off with a smile every morning and tell me to have a good day. Now, she just sat with her morning coffee, absorbed in her latest dime store novel. Whatever. "So I saw you were hanging 'round with that Quil and his gang at lunch yesterday," Tim said as we drove down the little road towards school. I shrugged. "And after school too." I didn't respond at all. "I don't like those guys."

"I don't like your attitude," I wanted to say. But I didn't. I just stared out the window.

"They think they're all high and mighty just because they've got good blood," he continued. "Especially that Jacob Black." I started paying attention again, turning my head a fraction of an inch towards him as we pulled into the school parking lot. "He thinks real highly of himself 'cause he's a direct descendant of the last real chief." Tim scoffed and parked abruptly in the closest space. I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door. "You should stay away from that crowd." What did he care? I paused with one foot out on the pavement and looked back at him.

"You should keep your nose out of my business," I stated blandly, then pulled myself out of the car while he was still gaping. Before slamming the door, I leaned down to look in at his incredulous expression. "And by the way, if you must know, the guy who called me last night was Jacob Black." If I'd had it in me, I would've laughed out loud at his expression, but I didn't get very much enjoyment out of provoking Tim.

He chased after me as I walked through the courtyard. "What did he want?" The way his voice wrapped around the words made it sound like there was no possible way the answer to his question could be positive.

So, I gave him what he expected. "Just my soul. But I don't have one, so I promised him yours instead."

Tim glared at me. "Don't be a bitch, Kora." I just blinked at him.

"Don't be a jerk, Tim," Kim's voice responded. Out of nowhere, she was next to us, flanked on either side by Jared and Paul. Tim looked like he was going to say something nasty, but when he caught the "I dare you" look on Jared's face he shut his mouth and stalked away. I sighed as Kim fell in step with me on my right and Paul strolled along on my left. Jared kept pace with his girlfriend, one arm wrapped around her shoulders. "You shouldn't let him talk to you like that," she said.

I shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

"Sure it does! Tim's a jerk."

"I guess."

"It's a known fact," Jared agreed. "And it was just proved when he called you a bitch."

"Maybe I am one," I offered in my usual monotone.

"No way," Paul argued.

I stopped mid-step, suddenly thinking of something. They stopped with me. "You guys don't hate me?"

"Why would we hate you?" Kim asked, looking confused.

"What I said. At the beach." I needed to work on limiting my words before I started getting carried away again.

"What? That thing with Jake? Nah, he had it coming," Paul chuckled, then sobered rather quickly. "Not that he's a bad guy. I mean, he's really, er, nice…usually."

Jared nodded enthusiastically in agreement. "Yeah, Jake's great. You should give him another chance. He'll warm up to you." Kim rolled her eyes.

"Uh, okay," I said. Paul and Jared exchanged a grin. We came to a stop at a little bench at the edge of the courtyard, right next to the door. Embry and Quil were sprawled out, taking up the entire seat. Quil's head was hanging back and he was dead asleep.

"Where is Jake, anyway?" Jared asked.

Embry blinked groggily up at us. "Sleeping in," he replied. He sounded a little irritated. "Hey, Kora. How're you feeling?"

I couldn't help it. My eyebrows shot up. "How am I feeling?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. You were tired yesterday, right? And, y'know, I was wondering if you felt any better."

"Oh. Yes." In terms of energy.

Embry smiled. "Excellent." He suddenly jumped to his feet, making me take an involuntary step back. He pretended not to notice, his smile never wavering. "If you'll excuse me, I need to make a call before the bell rings. I forgot my, um, book, for that one class. Yeah." Without waiting for a reply, he disappeared into the mass of students heading inside.

I looked at Paul. "Is he always such a bad liar?" He and Jared laughed loudly and Quil jerked suddenly into consciousness.

"Worse, usually," Jared replied.

"Kora!" Quil said, sounding tired but still managing to be weirdly enthusiastic. "Good morning! How you feeling this fine and lovely day?" It was already drizzling. I looked up at the clouds, then back at Quil, contemplating this obsession with asking me how I feel.

"Fine," I answered after a beat. I noticed Kim eyeing me with a distressed look on her face, but she looked away quickly when I caught her eye.

"Great!" Like Embry before him, Quil jumped to his feet, making me shudder. He looked around as the bell rang overhead. "Jake not here yet? How weird. I aught to give him a call and make sure he's all right. You remember where the classroom is, right?"

"Yes," I replied, but he was already gone.

"Idiot," Kim muttered. Jared laughed and started pulling her in the direction of their first class. "I'll see you in a bit, Kora!" I nodded and melted into the crowd of students marching into the building. Once inside, I followed my vague memory of the hallways until I found my first class. Quil, somehow, had beaten me there. So fast. For a moment, I saw an entirely different room in front of me, stained red. I blinked, and it was just a normal classroom again. Quil was smiling brightly at me from the back of the room. I made my way to my seat, trying to ignore the stares.

"How is he?" I inquired, surprised by my own concern.

"How is who?" Quil asked.

I stared at him for a second. "Um, Jacob?"

Quil's eyes widened. "Ohhhh, yeah!" He smirked. "He's all right, now."

"Is he sick?"

"Naw, just tired."

"Oh." I leant down to fish through my backpack, looking for one of the two random notebooks Mom had gotten me before the school year started. I would need a couple more for other classes, but I had enough for today. My fingers brushed a smooth, leather surface and I froze. I'd forgotten that the journal was in there. Swallowing, I grabbed the first notebook my hand came into contact with and pulled my arm out of my bag. As I uncapped my pen, I realized my hands were trembling. I quickly dropped my pen and hid them in my lap before Quil could notice. He was already weirdly obsessed with my well being. I didn't need to give him an actual reason to be. I took a couple of deep breaths, in my nose, out my mouth, until I had calmed down. I wasn't sure why I reacted that way, but the thought of all my secrets sitting right there at my feet where anyone could find them made me panic. I had to remind myself that there was no reason for anyone to go into my backpack anyway. No one would touch the journal, and after school I would stash it away in the back of the closet where I'd never have to see it again or worry about someone else seeing it.

I let out my breath in a quiet whoosh and flipped my notebook open, neatly writing the date on the top of the page. Mr. Brock quickly passed out textbooks to us, each one already labeled with the students' name on the inside cover. Mine, being last minute, was hand written, while everyone else had a computerized sticker. I stuffed it into my bag without a second glance. Having finished distributing the books, he launched immediately into a run-down of what we would be covering that year. I jotted down a few notes on what he was saying just to keep myself occupied. Quil was watching me with an amused look on his face while I took my pointless notes. I ignored him to the best of my ability.

"You do know there isn't going to be a quiz on that stuff, right?" he asked later, while we were getting ready to leave. I shrugged, placing my backpack on my desk and slipping my notebook inside. He laughed. "You're one interesting character."

"Thank you?" I replied.

"Anytime." Quil grinned as the bell rang and we headed to the door. He disappeared as soon as we'd shuffled out into the hallway, leaving me with an enthusiastic, "See ya later!"

Kim grinned at me when I walked into my next class. I waved timidly and made my way to my seat. Jacob wasn't there, which I was kind of glad about. I didn't know how to handle his presence after the day before. Did that phone call put us on speaking terms? Would he want to talk to me more often? I hoped he wouldn't expect me to talk as freely as I had on the phone. That was a one time deal.

"Have a good first period?" Kim asked as I sat down.

"It was okay," I answered with my usual accompanying shrug.

She was turned around in her seat to face me with one arm resting on Jacob's desk. She drummed her fingers on it for a moment. "So…Jake's still not here."

I looked up from her hand. "I noticed."

Kim smiled. "Good."

Cocking my head to the side, I was about to ask her what she meant by that when Miss Prowley appeared and demanded our attention. She grabbed a stack of small books from a shelf and tossed a couple on the desk of each student in the front row so they could pass them back. I studied the cover of mine, reading the title to myself. It was a collection of poems.

"Turn to page 46," Miss Prowley advised. We all followed suit. "Emily Dickinson. What do you know about her?" She gazed around the room. After a moment, someone's hand raised. I saw that it was the attractive-but-arrogant boy I'd noticed the day before. "Keith?"

"She was some kind of freak that hid away from people and stuff," Keith said. Wow, somebody give that kid the Nobel Prize.

Miss Prowley wasn't annoyed, but neither was she amused. "Yes, Miss Dickinson was a recluse for most of her life. It was during the time that she was, as you said, "hiding away from people and stuff," that she wrote a majority of her poetry. Now…" Her eyes moved over the room again. I tried to avoid her gaze by staring down at the book, where the words ran together in front of my eyes. "Kora," she said, rendering my efforts useless, "why don't you read this aloud for us?"

"Um, okay," I said softly. I blinked several times until the black print formed separate words rather than one long one. Quietly, I started to read.

"Kora, please, speak up a little. Not everyone in this class has my superhuman hearing." She paused. "That was unkind, Michelle." A girl on the right side of the room jumped and stared, her face darkening. Miss Prowley looked back at me. "Continue, a little louder this time."

Chewing my lip, I looked down at the page again and forced myself to read the words more loudly. "Pain has an element of blank; it cannot recollect when it began, or if there were a day when it was not." I paused, swallowing hard and trying not to think about what I was reading. I continued more quickly, wanting to get it over with before my brain could process the meaning. "It has no future but itself, its infinite realms contain its past, enlightened to perceive new periods of pain."

"Thank you," Miss Prowley said. I didn't look up, but instead continued to stare down at the page while she launched into a lesson on what the poem meant. Everything that was said was completely lost on me. Though I struggled not to, I found myself reading the poem again and again. My mind went off on a tangent of its own, subconsciously working out the meaning behind the words. I chewed on my lip, feeling a sudden throbbing in a certain corner of my chest. I shrank down in my seat, my mind still working on overdrive. It took me a long time, but I somehow managed to force my eyes away from the deceptively neat, typed page that greatly contrasted the meaning of the words it held. My ears tuned back into the conversation as the girl called Michelle offered an answer.

"Clearly, it's talking about pain as it's own entity," she was saying. "By personifying the emotion, Dickinson is setting it apart from people, making it less personal." For someone who sounded so smart, she was pretty stupid.

I couldn't help but scoff. My brain had spent most of the period going over and over the words, and not once had I thought of anything like what Michelle had just said. "That has nothing to do with it," I stated. Miss Prowley, who had opened her mouth to reply, abruptly closed it and turned to look at me along with the rest of the class. However, unlike the rest of the class, Miss Prowley was smiling.

"What do you mean, Kora?" she asked, sounding like she knew exactly what I meant, but wanted me to say it out loud.

"Yes, Kora, enlighten us," Michelle added sarcastically.

I inwardly groaned. Me and my big mouth. "Well, um," I forced myself to start, "She's not trying to disconnect people from pain. She's just defining it." I was painfully aware of the many pairs of eyes focused on me. "She's saying that when someone's in pain it's almost impossible to remember what it's like to not feel it. It's like you can only remember pain because to you that's all there ever was." The words came out fast; before I could even recognize what I was going to say the words were out in the open. "You don't know when it started or if there was a time when you didn't feel it because it's like that's all there ever was. There was only pain. So you see pain behind you and pain in front of you and that's it. There's just the pain before, the pain now, and whatever pain there is ahead. That's it. You're just going to hurt." My voice caught in my throat and I practically whispered, "Forever."

Miss Prowley looked incredibly pleased. "Very good, Kora," she said. "That's exactly right." Michelle scowled, clearly unhappy that she wasn't the one being praised. I just shrugged and avoided everyone's gaze, especially Kim's, which was full of concerned curiosity. "Well, the bell is about to ring. I would like you to read the poem on the next page tonight and be prepared to discuss it tomorrow." I moved fast, throwing the book into my backpack and practically running out of the room when the bell rang. I was forced to slow down in the hallway when it became crowded. Someone shoved past me roughly. I looked up involuntarily in time to see Michelle glance back to glare at me through the glasses on the end of her nose.

"Showoff," she muttered, loud enough for me to hear, as she turned back around. I took several deep breaths to keep myself calm. This was to be expected. I knew I wasn't going to be very well liked in this school. I'd planned to just sit quietly and not give anyone any reason to dislike me more, but apparently I couldn't even do that right.

"You're pretty smart, huh?" someone said into my ear. I jumped, and they laughed. "Hey, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." I turned my head. Keith was smiling at me with his perfect teeth. His weird blue eyes studied my face. "That was pretty cool back there, the stuff you said. I had no idea what that crap meant. I suck at poems." He laughed again. "And you sure put Michelle in her place."

I forced myself to look away from his pretty eyes and shrugged. "I didn't mean to. I was just explaining the poem."

I saw Keith's grin widen in the corner of my eye. "Right. Mind if I walk you to class?"

Yes. Everyone's staring and wondering why you're talking to me. Girls are watching me like they want to claw my eyes out. I don't like it. Go away. "If you want."

"Cool." Keith winked and slung an arm over my shoulder. I resisted the urge to shudder and recoil. I didn't like being touched. "Because I wanted to ask you something."

"Oh?" I tried to make myself sound interested but I don't think it worked. Not that it bothered Keith any.

"Yeah. You see, I'm having a little get together this weekend with some friends. My 'rents are out of town, y'know?" I looked at him but didn't say anything. "So I wanted to know if you'll be there."

"I didn't know I was invited."

"Well, consider this your invitation. Will you come?"

I looked away. "No, thank you." I used to love parties, but now the idea made me want to crawl into bed and hide. Then again, I always wanted to crawl into bed and hide.

Keith's face fell. "Why not? Tim's your cousin, right? You can get a ride with him." We stopped at the door to my next class.

"I don't think Tim would want me to come."

"Well, it's not Tim's party, is it?" He squeezed my shoulder. "Come on, at least say you'll think about it."

No. "Okay," I said quickly, giving him what he wanted.

Keith grinned. "Awesome." We were suddenly shoved apart and a new arm was slung around my neck. I blinked at the large hand hanging off my right shoulder, trying to figure out what just happened. I looked up. It was Embry. I wondered vaguely if he had a fever or something, because his arm was really hot around my shoulders.

"Hey, there, Kora," he said, but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were on Keith, who looked pissed. "We'd better get inside before the bell rings!"

"Okay," I said to him, then to Keith, "Bye."

Keith smiled at me, but it seemed a little forced. "Later, Kora. See you this weekend." He walked away before I could correct his assumption, and Embry steered me into our English class.

He frowned at me as we sat down next to each other. He hadn't been in that seat the day before. "What's this weekend?" he asked.

"A party," I answered simply.

"And you're going?"

"I hope not."

Embry smiled. "Really."

"Don't like parties." I shrugged.

"Hey, that's my seat," a girl whined, standing next to Embry.

He scowled at her. "I don't think so." She retreated quickly and found a different place to sit. The rest of the class consisted of textbooks being passed out and Embry chatting idly to me about all the fun things that he used to do with Jacob. I listened politely while silently wondering why he was telling me anyway. The period dragged, but it was nothing compared to Bio II, which I thought was never going to end. Kim was in that class, and apparently she unashamedly abandoned her lab partner to be mine. She looked at me with those same curiously concerned eyes she'd worn during creative writing, and "casually" brought up my response to the poem. I tried to shrug it off, but she never let up with that look.

I was overly thankful when the bell rang for lunch. Kim walked with me and I continued to avoid her gaze. Everyone sat in the same seats at the table, and for some reason I was still vaguely surprised to see Jacob's empty seat. His voice suddenly popped into my head from the night before.

See you in school tomorrow?

Apparently not. Oh well. I ate my bagel in silence while everyone talked excitedly around me, my eyes straying to the conspicuously empty space every now and then. It was kind of a relief to be ignored. I didn't have to pretend to be interested in what they had to say.

"…said Jake didn't get in until three." My attention was caught when Quil mentioned Jacob. I don't know why.

"Jake's an idiot," Paul snorted. "His shift ended at one."

"It's important to him, Paul," Quil defended his friend. "You don't understand."

"Yeah, and I'm glad, too." Paul made a face. He glanced at me, and looked again quickly when he realized I was suddenly paying attention.

"Do you all work nights or something?" I asked. That would explain why they were always so tired.

"Uh, yeah," Paul replied awkwardly.

"Jake sort of took an extra shift last night," Quil added.

"Oh," I said. "Why?" Better question: Why do I care?

Embry coughed loudly into his fist. "He uh, needed to take care of something important," he said. Jared cleared his throat and Embry glanced at him, then changed the subject. "So Kora was invited to a party this weekend." He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

"Really?" Kim asked. "You didn't tell me that."

"Didn't seem important," I said.

"What are you talking about? A party invite on your second day? That's great!"

"Maybe, but I'm not going."

"Why!?"

"Reuben's throwing it," Embry said, making a face.

Kim gave me a wide-eyed look. "Keith Reuben invited you to a party?"

"I guess," I mumbled.

"You know how many girls would kill to go to one of his parties?"

"No, but I know one that wouldn't."

Quil chuckled. "You're not gonna go then?" he asked.

"If I can help it," I replied. The bell was so loud I flinched. I looked down at my bagel, which I'd only eaten half of.

"Um, are you gonna-" Quil began.

I shoved it towards him before he could finish his sentence. "Take it."

He grinned at me through a large, doughy bite as we stood up from the table. "That's it. She feeds me. We're keeping her."

Sorry there wasn't any Jacob in this chapter. I promise the next one will start out with him! I love you all. Leave reviews if you care to. :)

-Gina!