When you showed up at my house, and then waited outside for a minute;
When you reached over and flipped the light switch;
When you smiled your smile from the other end of the couch as we sat in the dark;
When I saw my beanie from the other day in your car;
When I asked you what music you liked, and you handed over your phone;
I knew.
X
We got to school a little early—by your standards—and we stayed in the car, watched everyone across the street, and talked about anything.
The bell rang too early. I still smiled when we got out of the car, though, because I could tell you didn't want to go either—and not just because of the school part.
You stopped with me at my locker; I couldn't stop smiling as you stood there, waiting.
We walked a few feet farther and I stopped with you at yours. Unlike mine, yours was bare aside from a mini notepad held with a magnet. It was tons more organized, too. I kind of liked it.
You shot me a smile as you closed your locker, and then you walked me to class.
X
It felt like everything lit up inside me when I saw you again in fifth period. It had been like that ever since I could remember—I just liked seeing you—but it was better, or worse, or—
"Hey," you said.
"Hi."
You moved your chair closer to mine before you sat down, setting your books on the table with a loud sigh. You looked at me, and I tilted my head; we stayed like that until the tardy bell rang, and then you started to complain about all the homework you had.
It was a work day.
But you were wearing my hat again. I hadn't even seen you grab it out of the car, yet it was there. I smiled. You might have noticed, you might have blushed.
I didn't have nearly as much as you, but I opened my math book and did what I could and left the rest. I was glad you were too busy to notice.
Near the end of class, you pulled my beanie off your head. A few seconds later, I did the same. Except, instead of going back to work, I grabbed the red one and put it on.
You paused and watched me adjust it on my head. You looked like you wanted to kiss me—or something—but you didn't, though you might have if only there wasn't people around.
I wished we were alone.
X
It's not like I hadn't paid attention before, because I always did, but this new something—everything—made me really take notice.
It didn't even mean anything, it was just the way Matt was, but there was something in me that didn't like the way he talked to you, hung on you, and wrapped his arms around you all throughout lunch.
And you let him, but you looked at me; you looked at me like later, sometime, that would be me; I would be the one close to you, touching you, holding you, even kissing you—and it would mean something (or everything).
X
You kept looking at me on our way to the bus. I knew you wanted to say something, so I walked slower.
We stopped by the bus and you still hadn't said anything, so I looked at you and smiled encouragingly. You glanced around a little and bit your lip; it made me really want to kiss you.
Finally, you said, "I was thinking... I could give you a ride home today."
I smiled big, because you were so sweet and adorable and as amazing as ever.
"But you have practice," I said, even though I didn't want to. Maybe you forgot about practice—because you were thinking about me—and that made it even better, except I couldn't accept your offer.
Your lip went white as it slid from between your teeth, though, and you still looked nervous. "You could wait for me. Watch practice. I mean, i-if you want?"
The bus rumbled behind me and your team was walking past us.
"Okay," I said.
You looked relieved.
X
I loved watching you cheer.
The first time I ever saw you do it was at a pep-rally. Your hair was up, tight in a pony, and your uniform was snug as usual. Your smirk was there, showing everyone your confidence as you stood directly in the middle. My eyes followed you the whole time.
And you were captain, so now, as you stood in front of the rest of the cheerleaders with your back to me, I didn't even want to blink.
I always thought you could never get any more perfect,
and then you did.
You were directing them, and you were commanding, and you were moving. I loved the way you moved.
You made me want to dance.
You made me want to dance with you.
(I wondered if you would dance with me.)
X
When Coach Sue blew the whistle and dismissed you, you jogged to the bleachers. I handed you a water bottle.
You were breathing hard, almost panting, and you smiled in thanks as you tilted your head back and put the bottle to your lips.
I was still watching you. I looked at your hands, I looked at your arms, I looked at your legs, and then I looked at your neck and watched the sweat drip down.
My eyes went up when you lowered the bottle.
"I feel gross," you said. "I'm gonna go take a shower and change."
"Okay," I said. I didn't want you to go.
"I'll be quick, I promise."
X
You were the first one out of the locker room, but you still apologized. I told you I didn't mind, and you put on my green beanie.
Our hands brushed accidentally, maybe purposefully, as we walked to your car.
We talked and you drove five miles under the speed limit all the way to my house.
X
You got out of the car with me and walked me to the door. I knew you weren't going to stay.
As if just remembering it, you pulled my hat off and held it out. "Here you go," you said.
When I reached for the hat, I grabbed your hand. You flinched but you didn't pull back, and then I pulled you forward and kissed you. You breathed in deep, and then you pushed into me and lifted up on your toes. I opened my mouth, and you took my bottom lip between yours.
We pulled away with a smack and I took the hat. I'd been wanting to do that all day.
"See you tomorrow?" I asked.
You licked your lips. "Yeah."
You turned around and I watched you walk back to your car. When you stopped and looked over at me I waved; you waved back.