A/N Supergirl Settings and Characters all belong to Allison Adler, Andrew Kreisberg, and The CW, and CBS. Any original characters and this story are copyright © 2011-2023 to Hopelessromanticgurl, all rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.

"Alex, I'm sorry!" Kara shot up in bed panting as she looked around. She was back at the DEO in her same room. It had all been a dream…hadn't it?

"Kara?"

Kara jumped and looked toward the door to see Mon-El.

"Mon-El." Kara cried out.

"I heard you scream. Are you ok?" He asked and went over to hug her.

"Bad dream, please just hold me." She said softly as she hugged him back as tight as she could without hurting him.

"It's ok. You're safe. You're ok. Everything is fine. You're safe. You're at the DEO." Mon-El said rubbing her back.

"Where is Alex?" Kara asked.

"She should be here soon. She and Clark went home for the night."

Kara inhaled and exhaled a deep, shaky breath. It was all a bad dream. Alex didn't know her secret. Alex hadn't tried to kill her.

"What was your dream about?" Mon-El asked. "You're shaking really bad."

"I don't want to talk about it," Kara said hating that it came out as a whimper.

"Was it about me? Did I do something stupid?" Mon-El asked.

Kara couldn't help but giggle at that. They pulled away, and she shook her head. "No, you were actually the perfect boyfriend in this dream."

"Oh, so that's why you're upset. You woke up and realized it wasn't true."

Again Kara laughed. "Well, I wasn't going to say anything…."

"You know what…" Mon-El reached out and ticked her making her laugh and squirm.

"Mon-El, I was kidding!" she giggled and pushed his hands away. "You may not always be the perfect boyfriend, but when it really matters you're there for me and that's all I can ask for."

Mon-El smiled, and they leaned in and shared a kiss.

"Excuse me…" someone cleared their throat pulling them away.

They both looked to the door to see Alex standing there with a take-out bag in her hands.

"Alex, you're here." Kara smiled.

"Of course, where else would I be? I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I was forced out of here for the night."

"It's ok, I'm just happy you came back."

"Why wouldn't I come back?"

Kara shook her head. "No reason. What is in the bag?"

"I stopped at Noonan and got you a little present."

"Please say sticky buns!" Kara gasped.

"Sticky buns." Alex chuckled.

"Yes! Gimme, gimme!" Kara squealed softly.

Alex chuckled and handed her the back. "I have more good news."

"Did you find Jeremiah?" Mon-El asked.

Kara froze suddenly. Why was all of this starting to sound so familiar?

"No. But the good news is…Kara gets to go home."

"What? Wait, I do? Kara asked.

"Yeah. The sun lamps have done their job. You are back to perfect health. You don't have to stay here unless you want to."

"No, I don't want to stay here. I'd much rather go home. I just…" Kara stopped and looked down to her sticky bun.

"Just what?" Alex asked.

Kara didn't speak.

"Don't worry. I have already rented every season of Homeland and Wizard of Oz is supposed to air on cable tonight. Pizza and Potstickers have been ordered. I just need to pick them up. Lastly, I will be picking up ice cream after I leave here. We are all set for a sister movie night." Alex said.

Kara didn't speak again. This was precisely how her nightmare started. She had never been scared of Alex before, but now…she was terrified.

"Sister night…can that be sister night with Mon-El?" Mon-El teased.

Kara didn't answer. Maybe if she chose different actions, this would have a different ending.

"Sorry, but no. Sister night is sister night nobody else." Alex laughed. "You and Kara can make out another day." Alex teased back.

Mon-El laughed, and Kara forced on her sticky buns. She just hoped this day ended better than her dream did.

Kara and Alex walked into her house and set the food on the counter.

"What do you want to watch first Wizard of Oz or Homeland?" Alex asked as she started to unpack the food.

"Wizard of Oz, definitely Wizard of Oz ."

"Ok. I'm not sure what time that start. We might have to switch between that and Homeland."

Kara just nodded. Just like in her dream she saw Alex putting all the food on one plate. She bit her lip to keep from saying anything.

"You ok?" Alex asked. "You're biting your lip. I don't think I've ever seen you do that before?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. It's a Krypton thing. When we are tired or something, we bit our lips to keep ourselves awake."

Alex stared at her, she didn't believe her for a second, but she let it go…for now. Alex handed her the plate, and the two of them went into the living room. Kara looked back at the counter. Alex had left her purse there. Kara sat down on the couch next to her sister.

After they ate Kara was getting sleepy. She laid her head back on her sister's shoulder.

Alex smiled gently and laid her head on her sister's head "You ready to talk to me?"

"What?" Kara asked.

"You've been acting weird ever since I saw you this morning." She lifted her head so she could look at her sister.

"What? Me? Acting weird?" Kara gave a nervous laugh whenever she did when she was nervous. "No. I never act weird." She sat up and turned to her sister too.

"Kara…you're acting weird right now."

"You're the one acting weird." Kara laughed again.

"Kara…."

"Yes?"

"Crinkle," She said and poked her sister's forehead.

Kara groaned. That stupid crinkle! It gave her away every time. But still, Kara didn't answer her.

"Does this have anything to do with your nightmare?" Alex asked.

"What nightmare?" Kara asked softly.

"That one you had this morning before I showed up."

Kara sighed. "Mon-El…"

"No, actually it wasn't him. My big sister powers don't affect him the same way they do to Winn."

"He told you?"

Alex nodded. "He said you had them most of the night. He said you'd wake up screaming and he'd come in to comfort you, and then you'd go back to sleep and then wake up screaming again."

"I don't remember that."

"He said you woke up screaming this morning and Mon-El was there, so he just sent Mon-El in. He told me you said something about being sorry to me. What did you do?"

"I…" Kara froze. She looked back to Alex's purse. If she were hiding Kryptonite in there, she would know, right? She'd be able to feel it? "…Nothing. I didn't do anything."

"Kara is this like the time you burned a hole through my math book because you saw a spider on it," Alex asked.

Kara didn't answer. What she had done was so much worse than that.

"That was a hard one to explain to our teacher," Alex said.

Kara giggled. "You should have just told her your dog ate it. It worked on Krypton."

Alex laughed. "I think she would have believed that one over my alien sister burned a hole in it because she saw a spider on it."

Kara giggled. "Hey, it got you out of doing math homeworking for a week until we replaced it."

"Yeah and then I had a whole weeks worth of math to catch up on." Alex laughed with her.

"I helped you. Did you pass that class? I don't remember."

"Yes, you did. Now stop trying to change the subject and answer my question."

"Answer mine first," Kara replied childishly.

"How old are you, 10? Kara, just talk to me. I used to be the only person you talked to about this kind of stuff. Was it Krypton? Was it your parents?"

Kara shook her head. "No. I haven't had those nightmares in a long time."

"Then what did you see that terrified you so much?"

"Answer mine first," Kara repeated.

Alex groaned. "You're so annoying sometimes. But if that's how you're going to play then fine. Yes, I did pass math that year. Your friend Kenny really helped me."

"Kenny. He was a good friend to me. He was the first person to figure out my secret."

"Kara," Alex said.

"What?"

"I answered yours, you answer mine."

"I…" Kara looked around and back at Alex's purse. Then back to Alex. If she lied Alex would know. If she told the truth…no that wasn't even an option. Kara inhaled and exhaled a deep breath. "I had a dream that I annoyed you, and you got angry at me, so you tried to kill me."

"I tried to kill you?" Alex asked.

"Yeah. You were hiding Kryptonite in your purse."

Alex inhaled and exhaled a deep breath. She stood up and walked over to her purse.

"Alex, what are you doing?" Kara asked.

Alex grabbed her purse and brought it back over to the couch. She sat down and placed the purse in Kara's lap. Kara froze waiting for the pain and weakness to hit her, but it never did.

"Check it," Alex said. "There is nothing in there that can harm you."

Kara gave her purse a quick check and then pushed it away and sighed. "I'm sorry. I should have realized that."

"I think your dream is trying to tell you something though. Whatever you're hiding about Dad, you can tell me. It will make you feel better."

"No, I…I'm not hiding anything."

"Tell your forehead." Alex teased.

Kara sighed. "I'm not hiding anything that I will not tell you about when I'm ready…better?"

"I guess, for now." Alex sighed. "But I will find out."

"Hopefully not," Kara muttered.

"Oh, I will." Alex laughed. "Even if I have to tickle it out of you." With that, she started to tickle Kara making her laugh and squirm again.

"Why does every keep doing that!" She squealed with giggles pushing her sister away. "First Clark, then Mon-El, and now you."

Alex laughed. "Because it's your second biggest weakness and it's so much fun." With that, she started to tickle her sister again. The two sisters laughed together, and Kara was happy this didn't have the same ending as her nightmare.

Kara shot up in bed with a gasp. She looked over and saw Alex sleeping peacefully. Kara panted softly as she put her hand over her racing heart. She went to wake Alex but stopped. Ever since they were little Alex made Kara promise that if she ever had nightmares, she would wake Alex up and tell Alex about it. But Kara wasn't sure she wanted to tell Alex about this nightmare. It had been her final moments with Jeremiahs before… she shook her head. She couldn't wake up Alex. She couldn't tell anyone about her dream. She couldn't mention anything that had to do with Jeremiah, not now, not ever. As far as anyone else was concerned, she was fine, perfectly, absolutely fine. That's how it had to stay. If anyone ever figured out, her secret…they'd kill her. With that thought, Kara went back to sleep.

The next morning Kara was in a great mood. Everything was great, life was great, there were no problems at all in the world. Ok, …maybe she had to tone it down just a little bit. If she was too happy, everyone would suspect something. She couldn't have that.

As Alex went home to shower and change Kara went to the DEO first. "Good morning, Winn." She chirped. "Isn't it a great day!"

"Are you drunk again?" Winn asked.

Kara laughed. "No. I am not making that mistake again."

"When was the last time you were exposed to any kind of Kryptonite?"

"I don't know. Not recently. I'm fine. I'm just happy. Anyway, anything on the scanner this morning?"

"Nope, not a thing. Also…I've been searching….there are still so signs of where Jeremiah is."

Just like that her little Ms. Sunshine wall broke down. She quickly tried to pull it back down before Winn noticed. "I uh…I'm…I'm late for work. Call me if anything bad happens."

In a flash, she was gone. Winn sighed.

She went into Catco with a bright smile on her face. "Good Morning, James, what kind of news do we have to report today?"

"Kara, it's good to see you back on your feet. We missed you around here. I left a list of leads on that new toxic perfume on your desk. I need you to follow up on those and see what you can find out."

"You got it, Boss." She said in an overly happy tone. She turned to walk when James stopped her.

"Kara wait…"

She turned back to face him. "Yeah?"

"How's Jeremiah? Has there been any news?"

"No. None. Excuse me." Kara quickly walked out of the office trying and failing at keeping up her little Ms. Sunshine wall. Every time someone mentioned Jeremiah small pieces started to crumble. Hopefully, James would be the last person to mention him.

She had made it through the day without breaking down or crying. She had made it through the day without anyone else asking about Jeremiah. It had been a successful day.

She walked into her apartment and stopped when she noticed all the candles that had been set up. The table had been perfectly set and nicely decorated. On the table was a feast of her favorite foods. "What…Who…"

"Like it?" Mon-El walked over to.

"I love it. This is perfect and so romantic." She smirked at him and said. "Who are you and what have you done with the real Mon-El?"

Mon-El laughed. "I used this thing called the eyeternet…"

Kara laughed. "Internet?"

"Yeah that! Then I went to this page called gaggles…"

"Google." Kara giggled.

"Yeah, yeah, and I asked him how to create a romantic dinner setting, and this is what he suggested."

Kara laughed. He was so cute when he experimented with new things. "It's perfect, Mon-El I love it."

"Good, come sit down." Mon-El led her over to the table, and they both sat down. They started to eat, and Kara smiled. Maybe this little Ms. Sunshine act would be easier than she expected.

"You and Alex got sister night last night, so I figured tonight would be Mon-El and Kara night…Mara."

Kara laughed. "You did not just try to give us a couple name."

Mon-El laughed. "Ok, how about Kara-El. We just take out the Zor part."

Kara laughed and shook her head. "We don't really need a couple a couple name."

"Ok, ok, you're right. But it's nice to see you laugh again."

Kara just smiled.

"Look, I also wanted to apologize. I'm not sure if I ever got the chance to or not."

"What for?" Kara asked.

"For the bad things, I said about Jeremiah."

Kara froze. She quickly shook her head. "Stop. It's ok."

"No, it's not. This guy was practically your father, and all I did was tell you what a horrible guy he was. For that I'm sorry."

"Seriously, stop. It's fine." Kara said trying to keep her voice from shaking. Mon-El was the only guy she thought about telling the truth too. He didn't like Jeremiah so he wouldn't care what she did. But if he started to like him, then he'd hate her just as much as everyone else would.

"Once I really got to know him and spend time with him I realized he really is a good guy. He's just trying to protect his family."

"Mon-El, I get it. It's ok." Kara said. "Please just stop."

"I'm sorry. I know it's hard with him missing, but I'm sure we will find him. We found him once before. So we will…" before he could finish the sentence, she took off out the window flying into the night leaving Mon-El sitting there confused.

Once Kara was far enough away she wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. Mon-El finally liked Jeremiah, and now it was too late. It was all her fault. Now she couldn't even tell Mon-El.

"Hey, Supergirl."

Kara looked over to see J'onn flying next to her. "Fancy meeting you here."

"What are you doing here? You don't normally fly unless you have to."

"I fly at night sometimes when most of the humans are sleeping. Just to keep the knowledge of how to fresh in my mind." J'onn said. "What are you doing out here at night? Is there a problem somewhere?"

"No, just getting some air," Kara answered. "This helps relax me after a long day, so I can sleep better."

"I see. Look, Kara, I wasn't going to say anything, but I noticed you crying before I came over. Is everything ok?"

"What? Me? No, I wasn't crying. I had…air in my eyes it made them water. I'm fine."

J'onn sighed. "Kara, you know that both you and Alex have always been like daughters to me. Ever since I first met you. If something is bothering you, you can tell me."

Kara stopped flying and just hovered in the air when suddenly she was pulled into a flashback.

Flashback

She was sitting in the individual cell that Cadmus had made for her. In the cell next to her was Jeremiah.

"Kara, I just want you to know that you've always been like a daughter to me. Ever since Clark dropped you off at our front door, I've considered you a daughter just as much as Alex is."

Tears filled Kara's eyes. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Kara."

They shared a hug through bar cells, and then Kara pulled back with a whimper as they burned her skin like acid. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I still love you."

"I still love you too."

They heard the sound of footsteps and looked up. It was Lillian Luther. "It's time Jeremiah."

"NO!" Kara screamed.

End Flashback

"Kara, Kara, are you ok? Kara!"

Kara shook her head and realized she and J'onn were still floating in the air.

"I'm fine." Her choked voice gave away her lie, but she didn't wait around for J'onn to comment on it. "I have to go." She gained speed and took off. J'onn sighed. He just wished she'd open up to him.

Kara flew to Alex's apartment and then walked inside like a normal human. She knocked frantically at the door as tears streamed down her cheeks. She couldn't do it. She couldn't act normal, she couldn't act like everything was ok. Not when everyone continued to bring up Jeremiah. J'onn didn't even bring up Jeremiah, and he managed to make her remember her final moments with Jeremiah.

The door opened, and Alex answered it. "Kara? What's wrong, are you ok?"

Kara walked inside but then noticed Alex was in nothing but a bathrobe.

"Alex, is everything ok?" Maggie came out from the hallways wrapped in nothing but a bed sheet. It was clear what was going on here. "Kara, what's wrong?"

Kara shook her head. "Nothing. I shouldn't be here. I have to go. I'm sorry!" in a flash she was gone again.

"What was that about?" Maggie asked.

"I wish I knew." Alex sighed. "She keeps pulling away from me. I just wish she'd open up to me."

"She will. It's just going to take her some time. Come on, let's go back to bed." Maggie said gently. "You need your sleep."

Alex shook her head. "I should go after her."

"Give her some space right now. You can check on her in the morning."

Alex sighed she didn't like it, but she nodded her head. She had no idea where Kara would have even gone, and there was no way she'd be able to catch up with her now anyway.

Kara continued to cry as she flew to the one last person who made her feel safe. Nobody would ever suspect she was here either.

She arrived at the older DEO base. She ran over to the hidden room and pressed her hand on the keypad. Once she ran inside, she went over to the second keypad and typed in the code. Her hands were shaking so bad so could barely press the buttons but she finally got them, and her mother appeared.

"Kara, my daughter, what has you so upset?"

Kara dropped to her knees as she cried hysterically. "I killed him, Mom. Jeremiah, I killed him. It's my fault he's dead. I killed him."

"My Darling Daughter, you are not capable of killing anyone, it is not in your nature. You've got the heart of a hero, not a villain. The death of Jeremiah is tragic, but it is not you who should be blamed."

Kara was crying too hard to listen to her. She just kept repeating "I killed him." Over and over again until finally, she cried herself to sleep.

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