Title:Itachi's Voodoo Hotline
Rating:M
Pairing(s): SasuNaru, ItaKyuu, KakaIru, hints of others.
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own.But the ideas and plotline are mine!

A/N: So, pplz wants some lemons?Allrighty then!I'll try to fix some in.XD- Oh yeah, and about the last chapter when Kyuubi and Naruto start talking and Kyuubi starts asking about why he was in such a 'distinguished' position?Well, after Naruto askes Kyuubi what the heck he was talking about, Kyuu replies, then Naruto starts rambling about Sasuke.Then, Kyuu sweatdrops and the story continues from there.Im sorry for the confusion, my computer and this site won't let me change it!Again, Gomen nasai, and I hope you enjoy the next installment of Itachi's Voodoo Hotline!

A blue moon shone brightly in the distance and clouds rolled in.Crickets chirped in the grass, and an eeries stillness seemed to control the night.Hardly anything living was out...

Unless, of course, you count one Iruka Umino, fast asleep still pinned to the tree.He was snoring lightly, his eyelashes creating shadows upon his face.His body was slumped, relaxed, exhausted, from his struggle to get free from the doll's hold.His head slowly lolled forward,his ponytail coming to whip him in the cheek lightly.

A light 'thump' noise was heard about ten feet away from the sleeping dolphin.Kakashi crept slowly up to the sleeping man, sighing as he did so, "Maa,maa, dolphin-chan,your still here?"

He made no sound as he crept behind the sleeping chuunin and quietly released the doll from the tree, deactivating it with a simple hand sign.Then, with a loud 'poof' he was gone.

The doll having been released, Iruka fell forward slowly, then hit the ground with a loud thump.His eyes immediately popped open, and a loud groan of pain sounded."I-itai.What ...happened?" He slowly sat up, his arms reaching for the sky as he yawned.Beads of tears collected at the corner of his eyes as his mouth opened wide.

"Did the effect wear off?"Iruka mused to himself.Or did Kakashi come and release it?

He supposed he should get revenge, but if he did that...wouldn't things just end up being a continuous circle?What was the point of that?It could even ruin the relationship that he had with Kakashi...

Slowly getting up, he decided to worry about it tomorrow.Worrying wouldn't do him any good when it was the middle of the night.

The sun shone brightly down upon an open clearing, upon a black haired lazy shinobi who currently was enjoying the present company of the clouds.The wind blew deftly, ruffling up the boy's clothes slightly.He gave a low sigh, and rolled his eyes, already anticipating the meeting from the familliar chakra signature he was sensing.What a drag...

"Shika-kun!"

A busty blonde bursted into his view, a smile on her face.Shikamaru sighed again,"What do you want Ino?"

Ino's face fell for a brief moment before it brightened again, "Look," She paused, then pulled out a small doll,"It's you!"

Shikamaru deadpanned for a moment, his gaze intent on the chibi doll in front of him.He sighed, his eyes closing for the briefest moment before re-opening and focusing on Ino,"You're too troublesome, what're you doing with such a bothersome thing?"

Ino immediately tsk-ed,"Your always saying stuff like, 'troublesome' and 'What a drag'.Y'know, if you weren't so lazy girls would pay more attention to you,"She paused, and when Shikamaru opened his mouth to reply, Ino cut in,"And don't you dare say girls are troublesome!"

The brunette sighed, returning his attention to the clouds.When Ino was bored of talking to him with no reply, then she would leave.And then he could enjoy the clouds in relative peace.

"So, anyway," Shikamaru sighed when Ino continued,"I've totally got the advantage over Sakura now!"

Ino smiled, not a rare occurance, and reached behind her back and pulled out another doll.Similiar to the last in the stitching, but not similiar at all in looks.

"Shika-kun, I've got a Sasuke-kun doll too!Isn't that the greatest?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes in annoyance.What a pain.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
That Uchiha brat sure loves you, Kit.

Naruto cast a nervous sideways glance towards his silent companion.He does not!Would you stop saying such stupid things?

The only reply to that that the blonde received was a low,rumbling laugh.Naruto scowled.He would really never understand the stupid fox, all he did was talk in riddles or say things that always confused him, why couldn't he just say what he meant?

But why?Why, when it's so much fun to tease you?

Gah!Go away!

Sorry, Kit.Can't.

Then stop talking to me!Naruto's faced turned a bright red, and his fists clenched at is sides.He glanced over towards Sasuke, who, he was surprised to see, staring at him."Gah!Teme!Why are you staring at me?"

Sasuke merely raised a brow in question, but didn't say anything, looking away to return his attention to the road.

Doesn't he remind you of Itachi?He stares at you with the same, intent steady expression.

Itachi?No!And why would you bring him into this?

Because I can.And he's hot!For a human, anyway.

And if you had a body of your own, you would probably hunt him down and rape him, wouldn't you?Naruto could feel the fox shrug at this.

Probably.But, then you can't rape the willing. I can be very tempting.

Woah!Okay!I got it!Naruto shivered involuntarily, then paused, Kyuu, what would you do if you had a body of your own? This time, he literally saw the evil smile that crossed the fox's face.

"Stupid.Naruto.Stupid...handsome...Sasuke!" Sakura fumed from her spot under the tree, her fists beating the ground ruthlessly.

Why?Why was Sasuke always with Naruto?Why couldn't he spend at least a few minutes with her?Why did Naruto always get the Uchiha's attention!They were on the same team!Despite being rejected for dates numerous times, couldn't he at least hang out with her, if anything, as a friend?

A dark scowl made it's way across her face.Angrily, she crossed her arms childishly across her chest, her bottom lip coming out in a pout.

"Sasuke-kuuunnn..." A tone-def voice sang out,"Pale as the moon, and stronger than ..."The singing voice stopped abruptly,"Um...any tune?"The voice made an agitated growling noise, then grew louder ,"That doesn't make sense, what rhymes with moon but doesn't sound stupid?"

And as the figure stomped into Sakura's eyesight, the pink kunoichi burst out in hysterical laughter.Sakura doubled over, her arms clutching her stomach in mirth, as she stared at a blushing and flustered Ino.Once the majority of her laughter had calmed down, Sakura snorted, " 'Sasuke-kun, pale as the moon'? C'mon, Ino-pig, how lame can you get?"

The obiviously embarrassed blonde put her hands out in front of her in defense,"I-I Couldn't think of anything better to use!"

"Uh huh.Sure."And another round of hysterics wracked her frame.

Ino fumed,"SA.Ku.Ra.Shut up!"

Unfortunately for her, this only made the pink haired girl laugh even harder.Ino glared at Sakura, her face reddening even more.And then, Ino smiled and easily reached in her pocket."Hey, forehead girl!I wasn't planning on telling you this so early, but look at this..."

Sakura paused to look at her, amusement written in her eyes,"What?"

And when Sakura's green eyes met coal ones of the doll Ino was holding, she screamed.

Naruto currently sat across from Sasuke,his blue eyes boring into coal ones, even as he took a drink of his tea."Why did you reject her?"

"Who?"
"Sakura!"

Oh.Right.Her.Sasuke glared at the blonde,"I don't like her."

"Why?"
"Why what?"

Naruto groaned, his eyes rolling to the back of his head in annoyance."Why don't you like her?She's pretty, she's nice, she's...she's..."

Sasuke smirked,"What's wrong Naruto?What else is she?Oh,please,do tell."

Naruto could tell Sasuke was being sarcastic.But nevertheless, he felt his face heat up in embarrassment.What else was Sakura?She was pretty, yes.She was nice...sorta.To Sasuke, anyways.She was genuine...but what else?"She's pretty, nice, genuine...y'know.Stuff like that."

" 'Stuff like that', huh?"Sasuke mocked,"I prefer someone with more defined qualities than, 'stuff like that'."

Naruto growled."But..."

Sasuke sighed, and placed his cup down,"Fine.Naruto, do you really want me to go out with her?"

The blonde blinked.Since when was Sasuke so agreeable?"Um...Yes?I mean, no!No!Yes!Um...I dunno..."

Sasuke scowled.He brought his hands up to his temples and rubbed harshly."Dobe.Fine.Whatever.I'll think about it.Just leave."

Naruto felt his heart falter.He'd think about it?He was actually considering it?He was actually thinking about asking Sakura out?No.He didn't like that at all.He set his face into a glare.But doing as asked, Naruto stood."Whatever, Sasuke.Do what you like.But remember," Naruto swooped down in front of the raven who looked momentarily surprised," I will always," The blonde brought his hand up to cup the raven's cheek, but here he seemed to stumble over his words.A bright blush found it's way onto his cheeks.But with a smile, he withdrew."Nevermind.I'll see you later, Sasuke."

And with that the blonde left a blushing Sasuke behind.

Oh.My.Gosh. I'm sooo sorry this took me so long to update!Its was on my computer half finsihed, I just never had the time, or luxury to work on it.I hope you enjoyed it!Oh, and Ill be working on 'Identites Aside' s new chapter too toady, so it'll be up soon!Ja ne!

Review for a mindless write?Meow?