She managed to avoid him for most of the lunch, with so many people to speak to it was actually quite easy. Until she came face to face with Seven.
"Capt… Admiral." She said standing in front of her.
"So good to see you Seven." She smiled and hugged her. The other woman clearly taken aback.
"You to." She said after a moment.
"Well may I meet the newest member of the crew?" she looked down at the bundle wrapped up in her arms
"Of course. He was just asleep but I think Paris woke him up." She pulled back the blanket and Kathryn gasped. The baby was beautiful, well all children were beautiful, but Kolo was breath taking. The most stunning child she had ever seen. The perfect mixture of his parents she decided. Even if he was slightly more like his father.
"He's lovely." She whispered after taking him in.
"Would you care to hold him?"
"If I may." She said without thinking.
He froze mid laugh as spotted what was happening across the room. It was a sight he'd dreamed about for years, Kathryn Janeway holding his child. Smiling as she beamed down at his son. The sight momentarily made him forget the circumstances. She looked every inch the perfect mother he'd known she would be. He could remember so many times he'd imagined walking into her ready room only for her to turn around, child in arms looking like all was right with the world.
"I'll talk to you later." Tom smiled looking at what had caught his friend's attention. He just nodded and started walking across the room.
She grinned even wider as he wrapped his hand around her index finger.
"He's precious." She cooed
"I agree." He said quietly reaching her shoulder. She flinched inwardly closing her eyes for a brief second. His smell enveloping her immediately. She foolishly let herself breathe it in. After being months without something you came to rely on you start to crave it, then fantasize about it to the point where you start to wonder did you imagine it in the first place. Letting herself fall into that smell now was like giving into an addiction you'd just kicked. She couldn't make herself regret it.
She opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out. She didn't know what to say.
"I believe the Doctor is calling for me." Seven said abruptly taking off to the other side of the room.
"She has been studying body language and learning to pick up signals in a room."
"She's integrating nicely then." She managed to mutter running a finger down the child's soft cheek.
"Kathryn…" she took a deep breath and looked up at him. Eyes locking.
"He's beautiful Chakotay. Congratulations." She handed the child back. Tears filling her eyes. Once she knew the child was secure she turned and walked out of the room.
He stood child in arms watching her leave, contemplating following after her when his son started cribbing. He rocked the baby gently still staring at the door. How was it possible to feel so low and yet so happy at the same time?
"Bathroom?" she asked the first person she came across.
"Next door to the right" the waitress smiled.
"Thank you."
She waited for the door to open then froze. The noise coming from one of the cubicles stunned her. Crying. She walked across the room and taking a deep breath knocked on the door.
"Admiral." She said softly. "Let me in."
She like everyone else in the room had witness what had happened, watched as her two friend's finally looked at each other. Internally cringed as the atmosphere around them chilled.
"I am quite fine B'Elanna I'll be out in a second." She heard her sniff and could almost see her professional mask coming up.
"Kathryn please." She leaned against the door her heart sinking. It took a few seconds but she finally heard the keypad beep and the door opened. She was correct the "captain's face" was up and there was no sign of tears.
"I told you I am fine B'Elanna." She smiled the smallest smile her friend had ever seen.
"Kathryn it's ok not to be alright."
"Just a moment of weakness. I think I might head back to headquarters now." She went to step out of the cubicle but the Klingon engineer blocked her path.
"What did he say?"
"I have no intention of discussing this here. Now move aside crewman." She stood back. B'Elanna sighed and did as ordered.