Okay here is chapter five! Still not getting the response I hoped for but thank you to those who have reviewed and read this story .
Disclaimer: I do not own them stop asking jeez…
Chapter 4: Appointments, Chemo and Edward
The next few days passed quickly and I stayed home most of that time to prepare for my appointment with doctor Cullen and then my chemo session after that. I normally rested as much as I could before hand because I always knew they were difficult for me to endure. So the more rest the better even though at times it felt like I had been awake for years. I spent the nights in bed and days curled on the couch watching television, reading or napping. When dad and my brothers came home I made them some dinner before getting myself something like soup.
I insisted on making dinner when I was capable. My dad could not cook much more then bacon and eggs or TV dinners. Emmett was worse, and Jasper could coo around five or six things, so I figured they were due for some good food even if I could not eat it myself.
It was finally Friday and time for my appointment with Dr. Cullen. I always called him Carlisle to his face now but when I was thinking of him as my doctor it was easier to think Dr. Cullen instead of Carlisle. That morning I took a quick shower and changed into some loose fitting clothing knowing I would be in a gown after I got there. I was used to it.
While I was dressing I heard a knock then Jasper's voice through the door. "Bella? Do you need a ride to your appointment?" Jasper asked. I shook my head even though he could not see it. "Nah I will take the truck. On Monday though I will need a ride." A few moments later he responded "alright Bella" he said before heading down stairs leaving me to finish getting ready.
I took one of my caps out of the draw before sighing softly. No one had seen my head when my hair started vanishing. When it started falling out I cut it off leaving me with a chop job. Then it started falling out more and I started wearing hats. Only the doctors seen me with out it and when ever I had surgery I asked them to cover my head when family came in. Thankfully they complied. I was to embarrassed by my head, I think my mom had seen peeks of it when I was asleep in my room. I could not sleep with anything on my head, but I was not awake to see it so I did not know if she seen or not. I did not ask nor did I care.
Sighing I looked into the mirror running my fingers over my bald head staring into the mirror before pulling on the cap and turning around and pulling on a jacket with my keys. I had taken my meds before heading down to the truck. "See ya later dad, Emmett, Jasper." I nodded before going out to my truck climbing inside smiling. It was so nice and warm inside, I was surprised. I turned it on listing to the roar of the truck grinning as he backed out and headed toward the hospital to see doctor Cullen.
Finally I pulled into the parking lot and took a deep breath before heading inside the hospital going to the oncology ward and signed in before taking a seat. No one was there at the moment so I was the only one waiting.
Around ten minutes later they called me in and had me go into the damn gown. They took my height, and weight I tried to ignore the numbers knowing the doctor would tell me when I got in with him. The drew blood, got a urine sample, and did a few x-rays. I did not speak much as they did a few more tests before telling me the doctor would be with me in a few minutes. I sat on the table kicking my legs frowning a little before sighing.
Doctor Cullen did not take long before he came in holding my x-rays and some papers with my information from tests and what not.
He smiled at me before sitting on the stool near the small table.
"Alright lets see Bella. Your five-five so you grew around half an inch since the last appointment you had…your way 91 pounds which is as you know severely underweight…" He said seriously before nodding again. "It is to be expected though so everything is alright." He said calmly patting my knee before he continued.
"Your leukemia is looking pretty good right now, your numbers are almost normal. You have a high chance of remission at the moment but that can change at any time, but that is not the case with your lungs." He said softly putting the two x-rays on the board the light shinning through. He motioned to multiple spots pointing out the tumors." We do not know if they are cancerous or not but we are pretty sure they are. We would like to do a biopsy to be sure. If they are none cancerous we can attempt to remove them, but there are many of them, it might be impossible with out removing the entire lung." He said pointing them out.
I nodded as I listened to him. I was surprised about the whole leukemia thing, back in Florida they said my numbers were very high. While I was happy about that I had heard it before so I was not getting my hopes up, not until I was told it was in remission. I was worried about my lungs. In Florida they said if they were cancerous they would do radiology but if that did not work it could be terminal until I got a lung transplant. I was already on the list.
While it was concentrated on my right lung there was already a spot on my left which could be another tumor. Carlisle was reading over the pages.
Soon enough he was checking my reflexes and eye site along with other meaningless things in my opinion. When he finished my examination he sighed gently.
"Alright Bella. Your chemo is scheduled for Monday and since this is your for chemo session in around a year we want to give you time to recover." I nodded a bit. I had been on some type of pill the last year and they decided to put me back on chemo to try and kill the last of the cancer, so I was not surprised. I was dreading this treatment more then anything. "As for the biopsy for the tumors on your lungs the sooner the better we were thinking the labor day weekend. It will be that Thursday and you would have as long as you need to recover. Missing at least two days of school, that Thursday and Friday plus the three day weekend. It should give you enough time to recover as long as everything goes as planned." He smiled at me when I nodded. In agreement.
I was glad I was finally old enough to come here alone. My parents always made thigs worse. "Alright/"
He nodded. "Then we will finalize the dates with your dad alright?" I nodded once more before biting my bottom lip in thought before I finally spoke again.
"What are my chances if it is cancerous?" I asked softly.
Carlisle looked down a moment with a frown. "Ten percent Bella. If it is what we think it is and it is cancerous with out a transplant no more then ten percent. With a transplant you would have a much higher survival rate but to get a transplant your leukemia has to be in remission." I groaned and nodded slowly. "Alright that's what I thought…thank you Carlisle."
He nodded and patted my shoulder.
Then came the questioning. "Do you feel nauseous after taking your medication."
"yes."
"headaches"
"Occasionally"
"Fatigue?"
"Constantly"
"Nosebleeds?"
This one made me groan softly. "Not recently Around two months ago, but not from the meds…well the ones from the meds were before that, the last time I fell on my face." I sighed quietly before shaking my head. "Had to go to the hospital and spent a day and a half there." I shook my head many times I almost bled to death due to something. That was my worst fear bleeding to death or suffocating. Both seemed like horrible ways to go.
"Yeah that's in your reports, none since?" I nodded in agreement.
He then went through a few more questions asking me very specific things and rather personal things but I answered him honestly. I kept my cap on since he said I could. He checked my central line in my arm. I got so many IV's they just put a port in my arm for them. They wanted to put it on my in my chest but I refused and insisted in the arm. They agreed thankfully. I just rather have it in my arm.
Once everything was cleared I thanked him and headed home.
Though when I was waling out I seen a mop of bronze colored hair round the corner. I instantly thought of Edward, his hair was the same color. I shook my head slightly. He had no reason to be in the hospital, so it couldn't be him. With that thought in mind I left the hospital heading home to lay down.
I had my prescription renewals in my hand. Though the closest pharmacy was in Port Angelus. There was a small one in Forks but they did not have these kinds of prescriptions. I would ask Emmett or Jasper to drop them off since they told me about going up to Port Angelus tonight or something like that, and I would be home tonight.
I lay in bed thinking about my chemo session. It would be my first in a year. They had me on medication to help the kill the cancer but they decided the chemo was my best shot to get into remission. I had been in remission once. For six months I was happy my hair was groaning back, and I was feeling great. I was twelve at the time, but it was short lived they said it came back stronger then ever.
Thy told me if this round of chemo did not work they would try a bone marrow transplant and my donor would have to be Emmett. We were a perfect match.
The weekend passed slowly and by Monday I was shaking in my boots but refused to show this to anyone. I decided to bring Emmett with me. Jasper had pervious plans with Alice though he tried to hide that. I insisted he go and I would be fine with Emmett. He and Alice were going to the water park in Seattle. I doubted e would have much fun but I could hope, I did not want to ruin his date or anything.
Emmett led me out to his jeep and smiled as he helped me settle into it. Emmett had told me, in a very proud tone how he worked two years to buy it.. It had been I rough shape but Rose had helped him fix it up. I giggled at the thought. Emmett loved cars but his hands were so big he could not do much with those gigantic fingers. They were huge but he was gentle and I loved him for it.
Emmett had the radio on a random station and they were playing the Barbie girl song and Emmett, in true Emmett fashion was singing along, every word. It made me wonder briefly if he had planned this but I did not care it got me laughing and got me calmed down.
I knew I would not feel the effect of the chemo right away but it would not take long. I would be here all day since it was a new treatment and they wanted to see how my body handled it. Normally I would be here a couple of hours before going home to rest.
It was going to be a long day.
Soon pulled up to the hospital. "Emmett? You can go pick up Rose or someone to keep you company I will be mostly listening to my I-pod during the treatment." Emmett looked uncertain but I patted him on the shoulder. 'go I will be okay just come back okay? I need my big brother bear to hold me when I feel sick?" I smiled innocently. He nodded kissing my head. "I'll be back okay? Call if you need me before I get back." I nodded and walked toward the hospital as he left.
He was reluctant to go but I knew he needed company it would be a long day and Rose was better then anyone. She was strong and would help him if he needed it.
I signed myself in and went up to the oncology department and Carlisle came in smiling at me. "Hello Bella, how are you feeling this morning?" He asked as I moved my sleeve slightly so he could attach the IV to the port in my arm. Leaning back I got comfortable in the large comfy chair. "Alright I guess…nervous since it has been a long time…" I frowned a bit.
Carlisle nodded. "That's to be expected…is anyone here with you?" He asked honestly curious. "Yeah Emmett but I told him to get Rose or someone sine I know it will be a long day and he needs some company." I smiled a little. "I will be okay alone for a bit." Carlisle nodded patting my shoulder gently.
"Just relax okay?" I nodded.
"This is okay right?" I held up my I pod and he nodded.
"Of course Bella. Someone will be around with some water and reading material soon if you need it." I nodded and squirmed a bit. Soon he turned on the drip for the chemo and patting my shoulder again as I popped in my ear buds. He also pulled a curtain around my chair to give me some privacy knowing I preferred not to be seen. There were a few other patients a few chairs away but I did not pay much attention to them.
Soon the sound of the lullaby Edward had wrote for me when we were little played in my ears. I also had other tunes on my I-pod but it was the first one I played during my rounds of chemo and it helped get me through, it always relaxed me.
I took out my worn copy of Withering Heights and opened it took the beginning and started reading, the melody playing in the background.
Around an hour later I heard a tapping on the wall near the curtain. I removed my ear buds setting down my book. "Yes?" I questioned softly not sure if I heard right.
"I am here with water and magazines." The voice said from behind the curtain. The voice was velvety and soft but the male did not sound happy about being here, well who would be happy about it, it seemed like some stupid volunteere job. Maybe the person was forced to volunteer ah well time to answer mystery man.
"Um…A water would be nice." I said softly already feeling a little on edge from the chemo and feeling a little sick but I knew it was only the start. "You can open the curtain." I added quickly.
Slowly the curtain opened and I was met with a set of bright green eyes, I stared up at the man a moment. He was smaller then Emmett but taller then Jasper. I could just tell. "Here is your water." He said passing me the water but I did not take it. I just stared at him my eyes wide.
"Edward.." I said quietly. He looked the same…except he had a scar on his forehead above his right eye and his ear seemed to be pierced though it held no earring. Probably hospital policy.
"Um..Do I know you?" His voice was different from when we were kids and it was not just the deepness. His voice was filled with many different emotions and his eyes were not shinning as they had when they were children. Many emotions hid behind those eyes and not one was happiness.
I felt slightly hurt he did not recognize me but then I remembered I did not look the same. I was missing my hair, I was thinner and had an IV stuck in my arm pumping me full of chemicals. My hand automatically grasped the heart shaped glass around my noticed this frowning a bit then looked into my eyes.
"Bella.' He said simply. "Your Bella…" He said again as if he was trying to convince himself. "No your dead. They told me you were dead." He growled softly before turning and stomping out of the room. I frowned deeply. What in the world was that about. Who had told him I was dead? And why was Edward volunteering at the hospital?
I wanted to chase after him but I was stuck here. Not too long later Carlisle walked in seeing the cart sighing. "I forgot Edward was volunteering today. What happened Bella?" He asked as he checked the drip on the IV before looking back at me,
"When he realized it was me.. he said he was told I was dead and stormed off…I do not know why." I shrugged a little a small frown on my lips. "What's going on Carlisle why does he think I am dead? And why is in in the hospital volunteering?" I asked softly.
He sighed softly. "I am sure someone told you but his parents were killed by his uncle and he was kidnapped. James took him and for six months did who knows what to him he still never told us he must have been told you were dead. And he is volunteering because he needs community service to stay out of prison. He beat Mike Newton badly and he was in a coma for a week. Still do not know what set him off but something did…Thankfully your dad helped out and the Newton's agreered he had to volunteere at the hospital every other week until graduation…he is not very happy about it..but who cares? He did wrong and now he is paying for it." Carlisle shrugged.
"He will be back to get this, he would of probably calmed down by now.." Carlisle sighed biding me farewell once more.
Once Carlisle had left I looked at the ceiling. Frowning. What had really happened to Edward something was not right and I knew it. Edward was not the same person I left and I knew traumatic shit happened in his past but…something was weird.
Finally Edward walked back into the room, staring at me. "You still have that." He said pointing to the necklace I wore. I simply nodded. His voice still seemed dead. "Too bad your not really here…it would have been nice. But the real Bella died when she was only ten years old…it is sad huh?" He shook his head and I frowned. What was I then? An hallucination?
When he continued spouting nonsense about me being dead I got fet up picking up the water bottle flinging it at his stomach. He gasped holding his stomach a moment. It could not of hurt too bad. I had little to know strength.
"Edward Anthony Masan I am not dead I am sitting right here now snap out of it. " I commanded but it only worked for a moment his eyes only flashing hope for a moment before patting my head over my cap. "Your just as feisty as Bella…she was the only one he called me by my full name like that…"
He paused a moment staring down at me running a long finger over my cheek. "Too bad your not Bella..it would have been really nice. " Edward let out a puff of air before turning.
"Well I have rounds to make…." He smiled an odd half smile before turning with the cart heading out the door.
I frowned slightly. What had just happened and why was Edward acting like a zombie. I was completely and utterly confused at the moment. What had just happened? Why was Edward so strange. Groaning softly I shook my head. Too many questions and all I wanted was my Edward. I needed him and now he was so different. I wanted the Edward that promised me everything would be fine. Not this Edward that thought I was dead. It just wasn't right and I wanted to know the truth. Even in my tired state I made a couple of phone calls.
I took out my cell phone and called Alice asking if I could spend the night if it was okay with my dad. She said it was fine and I called Charlie asking him the same explaining I would feel better if I had Carlisle closer tonight. He understood even though it was a bold faced lie. I wanted to see Edward again.
Even if it meant puking in front of Alice and Rosalie.
Five minutes later Emmett walked with Rose. "Hey Bella what's wrong?" He asked seeing my confused face.
"Nothing…just trying to get over zombie Edward." Though my words sounded a little sarcastic I was worried. Where had my Edward gone and what had replaced him and why in the world did he think I was dead when I was sitting right in front of him.
Groaning I laid back closing my eyes not listening to Emmett as I fell asleep. I was exhausted and it had been less then two hours.
Okay that chapter sucked…
More zombie/bad boy Edward in the next chapter
I know this one was not that great -_-
Probably because it is 2:30am right now~
Anyway I hope you liked it and review? PLEASE Ummm…yeah Edward thinks Bella is dead and Bella wants old Edward and Emmett is simply confused.
YAY
:p
Normally do not update so quick buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut yeah I felt like it been doing it pretty quick lately.
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