Author's note. A response to Enaid Aderyn's hilarious Duncan-Sanga-Loghain threesome. If you haven't found it yet - go look.
Honestly, I think people are writing these threesomes now purely to get their own chapters! :)
"Do you know, Enaid, I actually wondered last time if I had been too hard on you?"
These are not The Teyrn's usual measured tones. His target is perched on a hard wooden chair. She does not appear to be bound in any way. What is keeping her rooted to her seat appears to be fascination with what is going on in front of her.
What is going on in front of her appears to be Loghain in a complete snit.
"After all, your last offence was little more than a suggestion. I do grant you that suggestion was Ovaltine. But I did wonder after you...went home, the following morning, whether I had completely overreacted. After all, you weren't exactly to blame for what Tyanilth chose to do with that Ovaltine. Do you know I nearly sent an apology to you?"
He throws some papers down onto his desk. One sheet drifts onto the floor. Enaid's eyes follow its leisurely descent.
"And then *this* gets brought to my attention. Honestly, Enaid. What were you thinking of?"
Big round eyes stare up at him.
He winces. "Forget I asked that. I don't think I want to *know* any more of what you were thinking of than I do already having read this. Duncan. Enaid, Duncan. After you and those other two...ladies listened in on my interview with Tyanilth, and you still wrote a threesome involving Duncan. I now know that the four of you are indeed trying to drive me insane."
He picks up the stray sheet of paper and rips it in half and in half again. Then drops the pieces.
"And you are succeeding."
He paces behind Enaid.
"Now I can't even visit the Pearl any more. And frankly about all I ever go there for is a drink, and some peace away from lunatic fan fiction writers. Generally in the Pearl, they can find far more interesting things to write about. Especially if they happened to tell Sanga, "Surprise me."
He comes back into Enaid's field of vision. "And oh, dear, some of them do indeed get a surprise."
He moves back behind the desk again. "Do you know, Enaid, I wasn't going to offer you mercy this time? I thought if I handed you over to Sanga and told her to 'surprise' you, then I might get some peace for a while when the word got about? Especially if you got that transgendered elf and the...penetration devices?"
Enaid whimpers.
"And then, Enaid, I read your...effort again, and I came to the conclusion that you had earned one last chance. You did at least let me win the size comparison. A poor thing on which to hope for mercy, but on this occasion..."
He indicates the bedroom door.
"And this had better be the best apology of your life. Or I'll start writing my own fan fiction. And when you end up as the sandwich filling of a Sten-Oghren threesome, you might at last start to see my point of view."
As she precedes him into the bedroom, there is one thought in her mind.
"He has just got to be joking about writing that threesome..."
"Please let him be joking..."