The First Kidnapping of Roxanne Ritchi

One moment she was climbing out of the news van to start a report on the re-opening of the strip mall, and the next she was groggily waking up with a bag over her head. Roxanne wasn't sure where she was; she had been just barely waking up when she felt something pick her up and carry her rather unceremoniously before setting her down into a chair. The voice that spoke sounded extremely familiar.

"Well done Minion! Now that we have the perfect bait for Metro Mahn he'll have no choice but to come right into our trap!"

"Now Sir, I know that you think that this is a brilliant idea… but doesn't this count as kidnapping?"a second voice said.

"Pfft, a mere technicality Min-yon! You've seen the television! Every time there's a report, she's been there!"

"That was only a few times Sir…"

"And he smiled at her! And you heard the nice things she said!" came that familiar voice once more. What he had said held some truth; after their original television encounter Roxanne had been assigned to cover any crime that had occurred in the city as well as any good deed done by Metro Man. More often than not he had flown off with nothing more than a quick wave and a wink, but already the city had begun speculating about this new reporter and their hero. "It's the perfect plan! If she's caught his eye then those mindless drones of the city have surely noticed. And if they've noticed then there is no way that he will just leave her in our evil clutches! She makes the perfect bait!"

"Uhm hello? Right here ya know." She said, finally fed up with being talked about as if she weren't in the room. She heard the commotion of movement and then the bag was swiftly removed from her head.

"Miss Ritchi… we meet again." said the voice. She looked straight ahead and saw the same blue alien that had landed on her balcony only weeks ago.

"Oh it's you." She said, attempting to keep her voice indifferent. He began sputtering and his face turned a light shade of fuchsia.

"What do you mean oh it's you? You should be honored to be my kidnapping victim of choice! For I am Megamind! Incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy!" he pointed one dramatic finger into the air. "Scream all you want Miss Ritchi, I'm afraid that no one can hear you."

There came no scream.

He looked to her to see a skeptical look on her face; a singular eyebrow was raised above her blue eyes.

"I said, you can scream all you want!"

Still; there came no scream. Instead she sighed.

"Look, this has all been fun, but I have a job to get back to. I was supposed to be doing a report on that mall that got destroyed."

"Mall?"

"You remember the one sir! Where the mega-bot got tossed! Miss Ritchi here blamed Metro Man on live television!"

Roxanne turned her head and bit back a gasp. There standing next to her was a large metallic robot body with a furry chest. She realized that he looked like a gorilla; and then she saw the glass dome on top with a peculiar fish swimming around inside. She realized that this fish was the one who was speaking. He smiled brightly to her and there was something oddly friendly about him.

"You did wonderfully Miss Ritchi!"

"Uh…thanks?"

"Oh! Where are my manners! I'm Minion!" he offered a large metal hand to shake, before realizing that she was tied up. He slowly dropped his hand and attempted to recover with a smile. "Although I have to say you might want to be more careful next time Miss Ritchi; you don't want to make Metro Man angry, he could hurt you!"

"Him? Hurt me? Isn't your hero?" it was not lost on either men when there was a bitter taste to her words as she spoke.

"All the same Miss Ritchi." He smiled politely to her.

"Minion! This is not the time to be making friends with our victim!"

"Sorry boss!" Minion winced.

"Now, if we can all get back to business?" Megamind's eyes twitched from Minion to Roxanne. They remained silent and he nodded his large head. "Thank you. Minion! Prepare the monitors! It's time to call your boyfriend in tights!" he said to Roxanne.

"Yeah, about that? He's not my boyfriend."

"There's no point in trying to protect him Miss Ritchi."

"Yeah right." She snorted in amusement. "Like he'd really need me to protect him."

She watched as Megamind brought a large monitor to life; a few smaller ones on either side showed her a shot of the room they were in as well as other points in the city. Below the monitors was a large panel of buttons and switches and for a moment she wondered just what they were all for.

"Citizens of Metrocity!" he greeted.

Metrocity? Really?

From the large screen Roxanne could see the city square; a couple of the smaller monitors showed side streets of the city. The citizens around either ran in fright or cried out their boo's.

"You are in luck! For today I wish none of you harm; instead I'm calling directly for you Metro Mahn! You see; I think I've found a little something of yours." Megamind moved aside to reveal Roxanne. In the blink of an eye Metro Man flew in front of the main screen of the square.

"Roxie!"

"That's right Metro Mahn! I've got your little reporter in my grasp! And you'd better hurry, because she doesn't have long." He reached forward and pulled down a lever. Around her the floor opened up to reveal a deep pit with snapping alligators at the bottom; leaving her chair on but a small pedestal above them. "My friends here are very hungry. Ciao now!" Another press of a button and the screens went dark.

"You're not actually going to feed me to them, are you?" Roxanne asked.

"Why don't you hang around and find out?" he pulled on a lever from the same large panel behind him. Her chair lurched and she came to realize then that not only was she tied into the chair, but her chair itself was also tied to a rope; and that very same chair was now dangling above those hungry looking alligators. She watched as the pedestal disappeared into the floor below. She looked to the blue villain then.

"But those are alligators!"

"Yes yes… I was going to use piranhas, but Minion wouldn't hear of it!" he said in a bored fashion.

"You can't do this! This is...evil!"

"Exactly! And I am the greatest evil villain known to man! You'd better start hoping that Metro Mahn shows up Miss Ritchi…" the ropes began to lower her a foot before stopping again.

Suddenly there was a great crash and Roxanne felt herself ripped from the chair. She found herself in the arms of Metro Man before he placed her on the ground and stood in front of her in what was probably supposed to be a protective gesture; but came across as more pompous than heroic.

"Your time is up Megamind!"

"The clock of evil never stops ticking!"

"It does when the bells of justice chime!"

"But only until the hammer of evil crushes it!"

"Justice can never be crushed! It's an ideal, not an item!"

"Are they always like this?" Roxanne asked Minion.

"They've actually gotten much better." The fish rolled his eyes. "Cupcake?" he offered. She noticed then that he held a tray of cupcakes and wondered when he had whipped them up. She wasn't entirely sure if she could trust him; he was a villian's henchman after all. But he seemed sweet; and they did smell delicious. One bite and she was hooked.

"These are delicious!"

"Minion! What are you doing? We do not feee!" Megamind's words were cut off as he was snatched by the cape by Metro Man. In a blink Roxanne was lifted as well; albeit in a more respectful manner than Megamind. In a more frightful flight than the lift home had been, Roxanne found herself flying through the air; first to drop Megamind off at the prison's gates to awaiting guards, and then back to the city square.

"Here ya go Roxie; safe and sound again." Metro Man smiled broadly.

"Yeah… thanks." She forced back an irritated huff and attempted to fix her hair. She looked around and became aware of the crowd of people coming their way. Her eyes searched frantically for Christie, or at least the news van.

"So now that I've saved you…again…how about that dinner? I'll take you anywhere you like." He said.

Roxanne was stuck; how do you say no to someone who just saved your life and when there's a crowd of people who think that you've got "chemistry" with said person eagerly awaiting your answer. And so Roxanne gritted her teeth and sighed before she nodded her head.

"Sure…Saturday at 7?"

"See you then." He winked at her before taking off into the skies and leaving her to the crowd full of questions.