AN: Zuko's here, horray!

Lady of the Flame

IN THE QUIET of the evening, I rocked my newborn son to sleep in my arms. He looked up at me sleepily, his beautiful golden eyes reflecting adoration towards me. He had just finished his feeding, and sighed contently. My son…

I couldn't help but smile. My baby…my precious…my Zuko…my everything. I kissed him tenderly, my heart swelling with love.

The day he had been born, my life changed. I had changed. But it was for the better. I was better. The knowledge that someone else was depending on me, that someone else needed me…it made me responsible, it made me strong. I was empowered to speak my mind, to do as I wished, to do everything that was necessary for the well being of my child.

I firmly told Ozai I did not want a wet nurse. I firmly told him I wanted no nannies. I firmly told him I was going to be a good mother. He had balked at first, but seeing my resignation of the matter, he relented.

Good, he should know that I was a mother first and a wife second now. I knew Ozai was slightly jealous over the time I spent with Zuko, knowing that every minute I was here rocking him to sleep could be a minute I was in bed with him, doing far more pleasurable things.

There would be many more nights ahead that I could spend with Ozai, so I was not concerned. Instead, I enjoyed every minute with my beautiful Zuko, knowing my days of cradling him in my arms; the days of him suckling hungrily at my breast, the days of him wanting and needing only me…these days were numbered.

So I cherished them. And I cherished him. This love that I felt was like no other. Not for my mother or father, not for Ozai… this love was different. It could not be taken away, it could not be swayed, it could not be pushed aside.

I watched my wonderful son, and sighed with contentment myself. He was such a wonderful baby, so unfussy, so calm, so happy. He was a joy to have around. I brought him with me everywhere I went; I introduced him to the world before him. I spoke to him cleverly, none of the mindless baby babble.

I smoothed the unruly wisps of hair that had begun to grow atop his head. I wanted him and I to be like this, mother and son, forever. But at the same time, I was eager to see him grow tall, and run free, and thirst for not only food, but knowledge as well. I wanted him to smile, to adventure, to live happily.

And, in a bittersweet fashion, I wanted him to be handsome. To be a good husband, to have a lovely wife. To love her, and cherish her unconditionally. I wanted to him to be a wonderful father. Only once he held his own newborn son or daughter in his arms and rocked them to sleep…only then would he understand how much I loved him.

He was asleep, snoring in a gentle baby fashion. I gently rose and placed him in his cradle. He whimpered at the loss of my warmth, but snuggled into the covers. Sleep, my son. Dream wonderful dreams. Know nothing but happiness. At least for this time, this moment.

I secretly wished that no one would ever hurt him, that he'd never have to cry. To know pain and loss…I fervently hoped he never would. As a mother, I wanted to protect him from all of that.

But I could not. He'd be burned by fire, be pricked by swords, have men fall at his feet, slain by his own hand. He was born into a war, one that would age him quickly. And if Ozai's intentions for my Zuko came through, he'd become a talented, skilled warrior.

I frowned and snuffed out the few candles burning in my son's room. That may be so…but for now…he could be my baby. And only that. Nothing else.

I walked to my bedroom door, entering quietly, not wanting to disturb Ozai if he were asleep. But he wasn't, a candle burned brightly near our bed, and he sat, waiting for me.

"Ursa…" he husked gently, beckoning me to him.

I sat beside him, studying his chiseled features. Would Zuko grow to be as handsome as his father? I hoped so. "Yes, my love?" I responded, bringing a hand up to run my fingers through his unbound hair.

He grasped me gently, pinning me beneath him. His mouth found my neck, kissing and nuzzling it hungrily. "You've been cheating on me." He breathed into my ear.

I blinked. "What?"

He chuckled softly, his hands untying my sash to my robe deftly. "Little Zuko gets to be held by you…kissed my you…gets a taste of you…and I don't?" his hands roamed over my body, and his mouth captured my breast.

I sighed in pleasure…perhaps I had missed my couplings with Ozai more than I had realized. I felt the burning sensation between my thighs, and my hands explored him. "Please…I want you." I moaned.

"As long as you don't forget me entirely." He cautioned.

"Of course not! You're my loving husband!" I chided.

He nodded at my answer, and he obliged.

OVER THE NEXT few months, Zuko grew rapidly and Ozai and I became adjusted to our new found parenthood. We fell into a comfortable schedule, and we were happy. But sometimes when Ozai and I spoke, his eyes were distant. Something else was on his mind, preoccupying him. I didn't know what it was. I didn't ask, and he wouldn't tell me.

Finally, I gained the courage to ask him what was the matter.

"I want to fight. To lead troops. To be…noteworthy." He sighed softly. He looked at the turtle-ducks swimming in the pond, but he did not truly see them. His expression was a mix of sadness and anger.

"But you are noteworthy…" I murmured in his ear, cradling Zuko gently in my arms.

He shivered slightly, and I was glad I still had that arousing effect on him. I had only just started to get my figure back from before I became pregnant with Zuko.

"Being a husband and a father doesn't count." He finally replied, taking Zuko from me.

I felt slightly hurt.

"I mean, it does matter. A whole lot. But it's not the same as being revered. As being the Dragon of the West." He corrected himself quickly, touching my cheek tenderly. He held Zuko close, holding back a smile as Zuko gurgled happily.

"Well…can't Iroh stay here while you're given the chance to prove yourself?" I questioned. As much as I didn't want to lose my husband to war, I could see that this was important to him. If I kept him from his desires, he'd come to resent me.

"I must speak at length with my father about this." He said carefully, tapping Zuko on the nose and returning him into my arms.

"Do what you must." I commented, adjusting Zuko to fit comfortably in my embrace.

Ozai kissed my forehead tenderly. "Thank you. I forget sometimes how much your approval means to me." He held my hand in his and we enjoyed the courtyard with our son.

OZAI WENT TO his father the next day to request a chance to fight. I didn't hear from him and didn't see him for lunch either. I shrugged it off and tended to our son. But as dinner drew near, I couldn't stand it any longer and left Zuko in Iroh's care.

I found my husband in one of the chambers reserved for sparring, Firebending most especially. He seemed fueled by rage and anger, and was ruthless in his training. He was slick with sweat, shaking with rage and exhaustion.

I approached him cautiously. "Ozai…?"

He snarled spinning and blasting fire just to the right of me. I could feel the heat of the flames pass my face. I felt an irrational surge of fear. My husband…I had never feared him before. Not like this.

"He's a pompous fool!" Ozai cried, returning to his kata. I don't think he realized how badly he had shaken me up.

"Your father?" I questioned, finding the strength in me to speak.

"Yes," he snarled, "He hasn't the mind to allow me to become a strong warrior!" another array of neat, graceful attacks.

"Perhaps he thinks you are not ready…" I meekly suggested.

"Of course I am ready! I am a Master Firebender!" Ozai practically screamed. He was trembling with his rage, and I was reminded suddenly of something I had learned while sitting in on one of Ozai's lessons: To master Firebending, one must first master the qualities of such: patience, discipline, control.

But I could not tell my husband this. To do so would be disrespectful. Even now, my mother's mantras were scarred into my memory.

"Then maybe he realizes I am not ready." I remarked.

He forgot his anger, or at least pushed it aside to let curiosity take its place. "What?"

I looked aside, biting my lip. "If you fight in a war and die…I am not sure how my heart could handle such a thing. I love you so…"

He watched me, trying to comprehend what I was telling him.

"Perhaps your father sees that I, as your newlywed wife and mother to your newborn child, need you now more than the Fire Nation needs you." I continued.

Ozai seemed calmed by my thoughtful words, and he approached me. "I am sorry I frightened you."

I looked into his eyes, so handsome and golden, and I could see that anger just behind the concern and love for me. Oh spirits, I thought, what is lurking in my husband's heart?